More than my own life

Almost dying makes you look at life in a different way. 

It makes you appreciate things you might have been taking for granted.

Chocolate. Sleeping in your own bed. Friends. Good health. Chocolate.  

But more than anything else, my appreciation for my family grew by leaps and bounds these past few weeks.

When the surgeon told my parents I might not make it, my family immediately pulled together for me. 

My brother David and sister Erin and her husband Dan immediately bought tickets and flew out from Utah the next morning.

My sister Danielle left her 4 kids with her husband that same night and came to the hospital and spent all night awake by my side, talking to me, holding my hand, praying for me, and my mom said that I was comforted by the sound of her voice and my vitals stayed stable and I pulled through the night. 

My mom took off a week and a half from work and spent almost every hour of the day and night with me in the hospital. 

She held my hand through painful testing and bad news and slow progress.

 She comforted me when I cried over and over. 

 She talked to doctors on my behalf and relentlessly advocated for me. 

My dad cooked, drove, did laundry, drove to the city in the rain and snow to pick up and drop off at the airport- he kept everything running so everyone's attention could be focused on me. 

He brought me my stuffed rabbit Peachy (I've had her since I was 5) and gave me priesthood blessings and made me feel less scared- I'm never scared when my dad is there. 

My sisters came every day- they(and my my mom) helped me to and from the bathroom- even helping me change bedding or do quick clean ups to save me from embarrassment when I got so tangled up in tubes and IV's I didn't make it all the way to the bathroom. 

They made me laugh and helped me walk and listened to me rant. 

They reminded me why the word 'sister' is the most powerful non religious word in the world to me.

 For once, instead of fighting the title of 'little sister', I embraced the blessing of having two amazing and strong big sisters. 

I don't think I've ever loved and appreciated each of my family members more than I did over the last several weeks.  

I will never forget this experience.

 I will never forget the feelings of comfort and peace that I got from the love and support of my INCREDIBLE family.

 I love them more than my own life.

 I hope they know that. 

Lori Ann

Daughter of David Allen and Terry Ann

and little Sister of 

David Allen Jr, Danielle Christian, and Erin Leigh

(and sister in law to Jack and Dan and OF COURSE, aunt to Jack Allen 3rd, James Ray, Elizabeth Mae, and Katherine Danielle) 

You see her when you fall asleep

So....

The Spinster Chronicles has been on sabbatical the last few weeks due to a near death experience. 

Really. Near Death. 

On Feb. 7th, at 3 am I went into the ER with a sharp pain in my right side. 

It turned out that 1/3rd of my colon was dead. 

The surgeon told my parents that he wasn't sure I would make it. 

HOLY HANNAH. 

I might not make it?????

Luckily, I did and I spent the next week in the ICU in a painful and crazy recovery. 

I was released on Valentines Day and happily went home. 

Only to return 2 days later with an even sharper pain.

It was post surgical pneumonia with inflammation around my lungs.

 (The inflammation caused the WORST PAIN I HAVE EVER FELT) 

I spent another LONG week in the hospital, 

I am home again but receive 3 home health care visits a week to help with my wound vac

 (they had to cut me open to do an emergency colon resection and then wound can't just be sewed up)

I don't know when I can go back to work. 

I am staying with my parents. 

I LOST 20 LBS IN THE HOSPITAL!!!!

I plan to add a lot more detail in the next few posts- about my family, the experience, the staff- I don't want to forget the details that made this such a life changing experience. 

But I wanted to start with what happened. 

And to say that it did change me. 

It reminded me that I need to LIVE my life. 

Because, as cliched as it sounds, you never know how long you have. 

Lori Ann

I know you hate it when I leave the light on

Sugar as a kitten!!!!
(she would sleep by my head...now she is too independent for that! :/ ) 

I have no idea when Sugar was born. 

She came from an Amish farm and I don't think tracking and commemorating cat birthdays is a big priority for them.

So I chose Feb. 2nd- it's a Pennsylvanian holiday (Ground Hogs Day) and she is a quintessential PA cat. 

And I got her in winter, so it's kind of a celebration of our time together. 

Yesterday was her birthday. 

I've had my Sugar December for 4 years now. 

I love her so much. 

I think she is Heavenly Father's way of giving me a little glimpse of motherhood. 

I can't imagine my life without my little calico crazy cat. 

Lori Ann