Let's talk about you and me

Ok,

So, I know that you are all burning up with curiousity to hear more about my job. It's kind of glamorous, yo.

I listen to people. That's my job.

I love it. I really do. But some days, 6-8 hours of LISTENING can make you feel a little crazy. But, luckily for me, my day is usually broken up with one or two diagnostic assessments.

It's where I assess people and diagnose them. Yep. I've given out every diagnosis from PTSD to kleptomania.

Anyway, the reason I just took five minutes of your life to get to mentioning these assessments is because they have been making me laugh so hard lately. Or actually one section has been making me laugh- the cultural questions.

In the South, our assessments didn't ask any cultural questions. That's not how we roll in the South.

Yankees do things a little bit different.

Here the assessments ask people to identify how they define their gender (male, female, transgender, other), how they define their race/ethnicity, how they define their sexuality (heterosexual, gay/lesbian, bi, other), and how they define their religious view (Christian, Jewish, etc, etc-its got like 12 things listed)

In all the assessments I have done (probably 50+) NO ONE can answer these questions like an adult. Everyone reverts to their 13 year old self. At least for the sexuality question. I have gotten the following responses when I asked "How do you define your sexuality?"

Normal

What do you think?

Strictly dickly

I'm going to give you one guess.

The one where I like boys

and a lot of people just laugh.

Anyway, it's sad the things that keep me entertained at work.

Lori Ann

Rockabye sweet baby James

“One day we were brought into the world, knowing love only as being what we had for our toys, family, and friends. Then, you meet someone who alters your conception of love, and you never know how you loved anything before this kind of love.”

I love all of my nieces and nephews SO much I can never adequately express it in words. But my James will always have a special place in my heart. He makes me laugh, he runs from my kisses, he is so smart and so crazy and everything wonderful there is in this world.

And today he is 8.

Happy birthday to my beautiful Turkey baby!!

Love,

Aunt Lori

I didn't need that tab key anyway...

What do you get when you add one 3 1/2 year old niece...

..to about two hours of unsupervised time with your iPhone??

You get one $150 dollar Hot Air Balloon ride purchased (unbeknownst to you until you check your account balance) on your Groupon app.

Oh, Katy Monroe... you are, as they say in spanish, "bien traviosa". I'm adding this one to the tally, girlfriend!

Love,

Aunt Lolee

The Addictive Properties of Crafting

Have you ever been peer pressured into doing something??

Drugs?

Alcohol?

Sex?

Or perhaps, much like my coworkers today, you have been pressured into crafts.

Yep. Today I pushed no less than 4 people into making m and m turkeys with me. As in "Oh, I see that you are working there, go ahead and put down the phone because I brought m and m's and pipe cleaners and you need to prioritize".

If only the druggies in high school had me working for them- people would have been getting high and decorating their book covers with glitter at the same time! A win-win. I bet they feel pretty stupid right now for never involving me in their misadventures, eh?

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!

Lori Ann

With birds I share this lonely view

I guess no Thanksgiving week would be complete without a list of things for which I am grateful. I am going to try and veer off of the "my family and health" path, with the understanding that I am EXTREMELY grateful for all of those things.

1. I am grateful for my job. The other day I was dreading going in to work and I smacked myself upside the head and reminded myself "Lor..all you have to do is listen to people...that's your job. It's not like you've got to go and get carts in the scorching heat, cater to ungrateful customers, or give 6 people showers." (all previous jobs of mine!)

2. I am grateful for my view. I finally get why people are so obsessed with views when buying a house. I lived in a shady apartment with an equally shady view of the parking lot for 3 years. Which is why I never lifted the blinds. Now I have beautiful views and it makes me happier than I could have imagined.

3. I am grateful for my upbringing. I feel like it was God's plan for me to grow up the way I did. It helped me develop empathy and understanding, which is essential for me in life and my career.

There is a lot more I could say. I am grateful its the holidays again. It's good for me to have a time to remember to give thanks and to have fun with my family. I miss my nieces and nephews especially. More than anything, I am grateful for them.

Lori Ann

Breaking Dawn: The Much Anticipated 3:20 AM review

I saw Breaking Dawn tonight.

And somewhere between the laughable wolf conversations, Jacob taking off his shirt literally 1 minute into the film, Bella's strange wedding dress choice, Rosalie stepping up to the plate, a vision of the future Renesme, and Emmett and Charlie giving the BEST WEDDING TOASTS EVER and a million other little things- I kind of fell in love with this one.

I think it's my favorite so far.

Go see it, gremlins!!

Lori Ann Lautnor

(It just sounds right, right?)

I want to take him down to China Town

I saw this quote on my friend's awesome blog today. Amazing. I'm going to get a print and hang it in my office.

Lori Ann

p.s. Am I the only one watching "New Girl" ? I love it!!

" And the wiggly one and the bear attack and the claws and the head and the one that figure skater do and the what's for lunch and the give me that hat."