As every fairy tale comes real

It's been 6 months and 6 days since I almost died. 

And it has been the craziest 6 months and 6 days of my life.

Crazy good and crazy bad. Sometimes just crazy. 

I am not the same person who went into the ER at 3 am on Feb. 7th. 

That date will always mark a before/after in my life. 

Like my mission did.

Like graduating college did. 

Like getting my baby Sugar did. 

I hope the next year on this blog is one of adventure, growth and progression. 

Sincerely, 

The future Mrs. Walker 

Make your dreams come true

So... 103 days until my wedding. 

I never thought I would write that on the Spinster Chronicles. 

2016 has been such a crazy year. 

I have been writing this blog for almost 7 years and my life has changed more in the last 3 months than it has in the previous 7 years. 

It makes me excited for what the future holds. 

Like super, happy excited!!!! 

So...in the meantime, I am neither a spinster, nor a wife. 

So, for the next 103 days, I welcome you to...

The Diary of a Fall Bride. 

Prepare for WAY TOO MANY fall and wedding themed posts. 

I want to record all the fun and craziness of this time in my life and introduce you to Richard Allen Walker- my victim...uh...future husband. 

That poor man. 

He has no idea I've already formulated a 5 year list of goals for him. 

He always says I am the brains in our relationship- if that's true, then he is totally the heart. 

He tells me I am beautiful every day. 

ANYWAY...

103 days, people! 

Let's do this! 

Sincerely, 

Lori Ann

(Rich's fiancee) 

Shall I stay

So....

I'm getting married. 

His name is Richard Walker. 

I will dedicate a whole blog post to him soon. 

We've known each other for two years- since he converted to my church. 

But it wasn't til I dated a few jerks that I saw the amazing value in finding a nice guy.

Rich is the NICEST guy I have ever met. 

Plus he kinda lets me do whatever I want. 

So, yeah. 

Save the date, people. 

11/12/16. 

112 Days to Go. 

It will be a civil marriage and then we will hopefully be sealed next November in the Philadelphia Temple. 

So... I guess I will need to change the name of this blog....

Maybe the Mrs. Walker Chronicles? 

Or The Confessions of an Ex-Spinster? 

Probably the next few months it should be called "The obsessed with my fall wedding Chronicles" 

Yours truly,

The Future Mrs. Walker 

Long may our Land be bright

It is our Independence Day. 

As I have mentioned a few times in the past, I am a 16th generation American. 

It doesn't really matter how long your family has been here- we are all equally American. 

But I feel connected to this land so strongly. 

I have only left the country twice- once for Canada and once for Europe. 

And I felt a little lost the whole time I was gone. 

I am so grateful every single day for the freedom I have been blessed with. 

I am so grateful for the sacrifice of countless thousands of others who came before me, who sacrificed their lives and loved ones for this incredible gift. 

I don't have if I would have been as brave as they are. 

Happy Birthday to my beloved homeland. 

Lori Hinsdale

And dreams that had never come true

I have written close to a thousand posts since I started this blog almost 7 years ago. 

This will be, by far, the hardest one to write. 

2016 has been probably the most difficult, challenging, life changing year I have ever lived. 

Between car accidents, emergency surgery, changing jobs, looking at life differently, just everything.

It has been a tough year but I am convinced God is trying to teach me something. 

So, after my near death experience in February, I kind of woke up to the realization that I wasn't living my life really.

I was just surviving. 

Not happy, not growing, not joyful, not challenged, not inspired. 

Nothing had changed in my life in too many years. 

So, I did some things that I had never done. 

Some...impulsive things.

 (which I genuinely regret)

And...in the 2nd week of April, I found out I was pregnant. 

Yeah. 

Being unmarried, LDS, and pregnant was not how I saw my life at 36. 

I was both insanely excited and insanely scared. 

I went to the OB on Thursday, the 26th of May.

And they told me she was gone. 

(I have always felt like this baby was a girl...I have been calling her "Lily Jane"..who knows though?) 

She said I had what is called a 'chemical pregnancy', where the embryo forms but doesn't attach to the uterine wall. 

They gave me some pills to take (to dispose of the 'products of conception') and I went home alone. 

I stayed up all night. 

I broke out in hives and chewed my nails down to the stub. 

I couldn't think clearly. 

I couldn't stop crying. 

I was reading Harry Potter because that was what I had started reading to the baby as soon as I found out. 

I didn't want anyone there. 

There wasn't anything my mom could do. 

And I felt like I had to be HER mom in that moment and be strong. 

I've kind of been on autopilot the last week. 

But I felt like there should be some record, somewhere (besides my ob's files) that she existed. 

That she was loved.

So, this blog will return to being the crazy Spinster Chronicles. 

But, just like a tiny part of my heart will always be in Chicago with the people I served on my mission, another tiny part of my heart will be with her. 

I hope she is the first thing I see when I get to the other side. 

Lori Ann 

(Lily Jane's mom ) 

Where your journey ends

Yesterday was epic. 

I got to see my friend Sarah and meet her incredible husband, Ben. 

We all got to listen in delight to their Australian accents. 

I kept telling Sarah"If I were you, I would just talk to myself all day" It probably crossed the line into creepy by the third time I said it. I never know when I'm crossing the creepy line.

We had white people tacos and talked Australian and American politics. 

And Sarah and Ben indulged me by coming for a drive to all my favorite hot spots: the abandoned barn, the creepy cemetery, and the hill behind my church for jump shots. 

I just added "jump shots in Australia" to my bucket list.

Get ready, Sarah and Ben! 

Thanks for an amazing visit! 

Lori Ann

And I don't want to go home right now

It's been forever since I have updated.

A lot has changed in the last two months.

A lot.

I left my job at Penn Foundation after almost 4 years there.

I was just tired.

And my heart wasn't in it.

I am interviewing at a bunch of different places right now but I am not in a rush.

I want to find the right job.

Not just the first place that offers.

Another major change has happened my life.

But I'm not really sure how to talk about it.

Maybe next post.

In closing...kitten pics!

And Happy Birthday and Baptism to the one and only family Kat

Katherine Danielle Monroe! 

I love you, Katy-Kat!

Love always,

Aunt Lori