My day in pictures

8 am- left my apartment and disappeared into the fog. All that was missing was the icy hand of a murdered child creeping up behind me.

8:15- off to the BEST STORE IN THE UNIVERSE. The Christmas Tree shop. Holy Hannah- it's intense how exciting this shopping experience is.

9 am- got home and realized that my new tea lite centerpiece is in the shape of a pentagram. Interesting.

11 am-7:40 pm- Providing therapy and eating these wild cherry cough drops. (which I got at the Christmas Tree Shop!) Best. Medicine. Ever.

Also, I spent a good portion of time staring out the window. Can't leave that out.

And last, but not least, my FANCY dinner. A new table and a new centerpiece called for an epic meal. I had chicken and potatoes (because that's what I make every night) but it was on my fancy plates, and I made a salad and cheese danish for dessert!

Now..all that remains is a bubble bath, hot chocolate, and watching Twilight in bed. Have to get psyched for Breaking Dawn:)

Lori Ann

Cheap is the new black

BEFORE

30 minutes of rolling the table through the dark parking lot with a number of cars slowing down to stare at me and an awkward trek into the building, up the elevator, and through the door:

AFTER!

I owe it all to my mother for teaching me the art of the Dumpster Dive.

Thanks, Ma.

Lori Ann

To dive or not to dive??

Ok,

Right now I am in the middle of a quandary.

There is this fairly nice kitchen table that someone threw out at my complex.

I don't have a table.

So... is it worth rolling the table about 4 buildings over?

(it won't fit in my car, I already tried that)

And; on a completely unrelated side note, if you put a table on top of your car without bungee cords, will it stay on??

Lori Ann

I had the best day with you

Yesterday was a perfect day.

Honestly, it was the best day I've had in a long time. It wasn't very out of the ordinary. I decided to drive home for the day. I made my parents a fancy lunch. (croissants are fancy for us!) We just talked about our lives and it made me so happy.

I went driving through the PA countryside and it was beautiful and I felt surrounded by American history. Then later I drove through the back roads with my mom and brother and my mom was pretending to be our tour guide and it was making me laugh and I felt so happy.

Then I got to make one of the few dinners that I make well (ham and potato soup) for all of my favorite people (just missing Erin and Big J). And Elly wore the Darth Vador costume I found half off at CVS. And I don't know why but it made me so happy.

Right now, in this moment, there isn't anything I would change about my life. I am very blessed.

Lori Ann

Random Thoughts: The Friday Night Edition

1. I have a raging internal debate about when to decorate for Christmas..now or after Thanksgiving? If they just made Thanksgiving decorations (classy ones..not trashy hand made turkeys!) then we wouldn’t need to have this discussion with ourselves every year.

2. There have been some surprising elements to my new job. The one that freaks me out the most is people asking me to assess them for court. Like, they need to look crazy for a judge. Let the ethical dilemmas abound!

3. I still don’t have a sofa. Or a table. Or a TV. I’m living in my apartment like a squatter. Only squatters probably have more furniture than me.

4. It’s so beautiful here right now. I’ve kinda stopped taking pictures though because pictures can’t capture the amazing feeling of fall in PA.

5. I’ve almost been at my job for 3 months. You know what that means! Benefits, baby. Which means I will be able to sign up for therapy. I can’t wait. I am doing it solely to steal other therapist’s techniques/put myself in my client’s shoes.

6. I’ve recently fallen back in love with toast. Oh toast, how could I have forgotten your delicious goodness??

7. My Spanish goes further down the drain with every passing hour. If I have Hispanic clients at 11 am, I am chattering away like a magpie..at 5 pm I am like “Hola, mi amigos..como estan?” and then smiling nervously, hoping I won’t have to talk.



8. This Thanksgiving, I am going to take a stand for all of us non pie eaters. We are going to have our just desserts!



9. I have to stop watching “soldiers returning home” on Youtube. I can’t keep crying every night!

Lori Ann

Occupy Chuck E. Cheese!!

I try to avoid the news whenever possible. It interferes with the celebrity gossip and reality show watching regime I’m committed to.

However, one cannot escape discussion of the “Occupy Wall street” protests and it’s made me think about things that I’ve always wanted to protest but didn’t have either A. the nerve B. any knowledge or C. the ability to rise above my natural inclination towards apathy.

Anyway- here it is…

Top Five Things/Places/Ideas I would totally Occupy.

5. It’s been about 13 years, but I am still protesting Burger King’s

“new” fries. I mean, come on..What is with the batter coating? It’s gross. And I really resent having to go to BK for my burger and McD’s for my fries. That’s too much to ask of the American people.

4. Indian Summers. Come on, summer…isn’t it enough that you have been sucking the life out of all of us since about mid-April with your scorching heat, endless barbecues, and lame block buster movie releases? Now you’re going to extend into the few weeks we get of fall? Not cool, summer. Not cool. Literally.

3. Showers. No, not the kind where you get clean (I’m only mildly opposed to those), but rather the “baby/wedding/house warming/ etc, etc” variety. I protest the exclusiveness of these events. What if you are, for example, single, childless, and living a tragic hand to mouth existence in a dingy apartment? Don’t you deserve monogrammed hand towels from Sears?? Don’t you?? Answer me!!

2. Tipping. We need to take our cue from Europe on this one. I’ve been an American for 32 glorious years and I still don’t get exactly how tipping works. Do you tip if you pick up your own pizza? What about the mail man? What’s the rate? 15 %? Is that for every restaurant or just fancy ones? If you pay 100 bucks for furniture delivery, doesn’t that mean you don’t have to tip?? Ahhhh!!!! Tipping, you evil troll. What do you torment me like this??

1. Target weekend shoppers. This group of people embodies the death knell of culture, the American dream, and even human decency as a whole. I went to Target last weekend and the things I saw…well, I won’t say because I know many of you gather around this blog with your children at night and I don’t want to scare them. Just know this..You’re not safe. Not even in the pet food slash broom and mop aisle.

So…there you have it. The groups, things, and ideas I (in my head) spend my days railing against. A complete list would be about 200 items long, but these are the truly the most enraging.

Peace out, girls scouts!!

Lori Ann

The Perks of Being Single

Let me preface this post by saying that I know what I am missing. Eternal companionship. Camaraderie. The joy of motherhood. Some seriously amazing things. Which is why I console my spinster self with the following...

Bubble baths (bubbles added later or they all fizzzle out) and Harry Potter with sparkling cranberry juice.

Late night noodles and apple cider.

Wait..this isn't a perk. It's the work I've been avoiding. Ohhhh...see, you can avoid work as a spinster. There's no avoiding the children. They'll find you, no matter how hard you hide. The same can't be said for my discharge summaries:)

On an unrelated note, I reread my patriarchal blessing today. I keep it in my Life Ambition Book, which I keep in my desk. I didn't notice this part until after I stated my career. It's helps me feel calm, like I've got the right job.

Lori Ann