Free Falling

OK, it's been a couple of crazy weeks.

 I am now going to give you my life update.

 It's pretty much the most exciting thing you will read today, so you might want to sit down.

1. My car has stabbed me in the back again!

What in the DEVIL is a timing belt anyway?

 Suffice it to say that I am currently driving Jackie's sweet sweet Honda Civic and, after repair costs,

I am planning a menu of Ramon noodles...for the rest of my life!

2. I've been hanging out with my sister's kids.

Which is beautiful and strange.

 Just like them.

We've done the following over the past two weekends:

Accidentally made whole wheat scones

 Told strange stories wrapped (or covered) in a sheet

Tried to "out" Junior
 (much to his confusion)

Eaten Frosties like it was our job

 Stolen Big Jack's cereal,

 Allegedly played in a large tub of spaghetti
(They have NO real evidence it was us!)

 Tried to break into my parents house

 Foisted off our cats on Grandpa

Made subway art

 and as always

gotten hopped up on caffeine and made choices we would later regret.

3. I've been binging on Dannon Fruit on the Bottom yogurt.

I ate SIX of them on Saturday.

 That's not OK.

4. Explaining the Whore Hand concept to various coworkers.
(Because I like to keep it classy and professional in the work place)

5. I've recently taken to looking around my apartment and saying

"Somebody better clean this mess up" 

I like to say it in an accusatory and/or menacing tone.

 I'm not sure where this is going really, as I live alone.

But it just feels right;)

Anyway, that is my exciting life update. 

And to end on a philosophical note

"2 thine own self B tru"

Lori Ann

Your daily Sugar

Eureka

I have kind of a weird thing that I haven't really told anyone except my sisters.

I don't find very many people funny. 

Most of the time when I am laughing it's polite laughter. 

Not that I don't have fun and enjoy other people, but I really only have five people that I find genuinely hilarious.

These people are the following:

My sisters

 This weird guy named Cliff

 Karen Pepper

 and one of my camp friends,

 Eureka 
(Well, her real name is Becky)

But let's not get technical.

And the magic of Eureka is that she looks like the quintessential

 "Mean pretty girl"

The one the tormented us all in high school.

But she is FREAKING hilarious, self deprecating, random, and sharp.

When I am around these people I feel like I am sharpening my mind and it forces me to think and be creative because they are so brilliant it inspires me.

 So, short story long, I went to the movies with Eureka tonight.

The Hunger Games again.

This time the viewing included discussion of:

 Ponchos
(to be fair, the topic of ponchos comes up in my daily conversations with most people)

 Jelly rubbing

 Recreating the spider monkey moment in Twilight

How to deal with break ups when not in your country of origin

 And tracking down a woman named Potluck.

I am so glad I got to see her again!

There are really some friends you shouldn't let go of.

 Becky is totally one of those. 

Lori Ann

The Witching Hour

So, since I have recently come to recognize that I am an adult and I do and say whatever I want-
(as long as it's polite and legal and doesn't cause any conflict)

 I made the adult decision to go to see the Hunger Games movie at 9:45 am on Friday.

No crazy teenage midnight showings for me, no sir.

That is until tonight.

When my dad called and told me that I WAS going to the midnight show whether I wanted to or not.

With him, my mom, and Danielle.

And so, like the adult that I am, I took a deep breath and said..

"Yes, sir"

Hello midnight showing,

 goodbye pretense of being my own boss:)

Lori Ann

Your daily Sugar

Euro trash Utopia

My favorite quotes from my sleepover with the kids:

" Go on with your lies, Aunt Lori"
 (Jack-Jack- when I told him that I had to take care of his mother as a child as she was a sickly)

"I think it's mad!!"
 (Elly- talking to me in the middle of the night about her cat Willow.)

She claimed she was scared to let Willow sleep with her because she felt that Willow was mad. (Willow was sleeping) 

"I put my gum behind my ear when I'm eating meals"
 (James- who later had to have gum cut out of his hair)

"Honey mustard- more than meets the eye"
 (James- discussing pretzel dips)

"You break all the rules!"
(Jack-Jack, referring to me letting them eat cookies for dinner, stay up late,
 and go see the fountain at night)

It was a awesome sleepover with my very favorite people. 

Let's do it again as soon as possible muffin babies!!

Aunt Lori

Someone ate my corn dog!

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads

Henry David Thoreau

Lori Ann

& 

JJE

He Hears Me

I love my clients.

 They make me want to be a better person.

Lori Ann

Your daily Sugar

p.s.- I've found the man of my dreams.

His name is Stefon.

 Check out my future spouse here!

The Ides of March

My SUPER INTENSE goals for today:

1. Use the phrase

"it's not a destination, it's a journey" 

in every single session with my clients.

It's my new catchphrase...it works so well in all conversations.

A few examples

"Hey, we are out of toilet paper"

"It's not a destination, its a journey"

"I am making spaghetti for dinner"

"It's not a destination, its a journey"

And on and on...

Back to the goals....

2. Get Sugar string cheese.

It's keeps her placid and docile.

3. Call the Elly belly and Katy kat and make plans for this weekend. 

4. Make wealthy friends.
 (well, this is my goal everyday.)

5. Fall desperately in love with an unattainable man.

Preferably gay

but I am also currently accepting the following forms of unattainability:

 A man engaged to an angry ginger

 mental illness

Priests

and those whose immigration status is forcing them to leave America forever.

That is all.

Lori Ann

Your daily Sugar

p.s.- On a completely unrelated note, about 3 years ago on this day I was weirdly consumed with an interest in  finding out more about my dad's brother Ray, who died at age 4 after being hit by a car.

 I was on the internet for hours and late that night I found his birth certificate.

He had been born on March 15th, the same day I was looking for him.

Weird, eh?