Free Falling

OK, it's been a couple of crazy weeks.

 I am now going to give you my life update.

 It's pretty much the most exciting thing you will read today, so you might want to sit down.

1. My car has stabbed me in the back again!

What in the DEVIL is a timing belt anyway?

 Suffice it to say that I am currently driving Jackie's sweet sweet Honda Civic and, after repair costs,

I am planning a menu of Ramon noodles...for the rest of my life!

2. I've been hanging out with my sister's kids.

Which is beautiful and strange.

 Just like them.

We've done the following over the past two weekends:

Accidentally made whole wheat scones

 Told strange stories wrapped (or covered) in a sheet

Tried to "out" Junior
 (much to his confusion)

Eaten Frosties like it was our job

 Stolen Big Jack's cereal,

 Allegedly played in a large tub of spaghetti
(They have NO real evidence it was us!)

 Tried to break into my parents house

 Foisted off our cats on Grandpa

Made subway art

 and as always

gotten hopped up on caffeine and made choices we would later regret.

3. I've been binging on Dannon Fruit on the Bottom yogurt.

I ate SIX of them on Saturday.

 That's not OK.

4. Explaining the Whore Hand concept to various coworkers.
(Because I like to keep it classy and professional in the work place)

5. I've recently taken to looking around my apartment and saying

"Somebody better clean this mess up" 

I like to say it in an accusatory and/or menacing tone.

 I'm not sure where this is going really, as I live alone.

But it just feels right;)

Anyway, that is my exciting life update. 

And to end on a philosophical note

"2 thine own self B tru"

Lori Ann

Your daily Sugar