Bang, Bang

 I did it, people.

I murdered a homeless man.

I cut my own bangs.

 Oh man...no one let me have scissors again after 10 pm.

 And don't let me believe when YouTube says it "easy and fun".

Here's to the era of bangs!!

Lori Ann

The Insane Ramblings of a Whiny Younger Sister.

Memorial Day Weekend in Pictures

Danielle and Elly having a spa night.

 Katy later ate the cucumber slices, like the wild creature that she is!

It was hot and rainy all weekend.

 I swear PA has a monsoon season.

 Is summer over yet?

The "Ratters" as Aunt Erin has taken to calling her.

She was extra wild this weekend! 

The War memorial we take flowers to every year on Memorial day.

 It's so peaceful here.

The cross of flowers wasn't ours.

 We put blue American daisies.

 Elly's choice.

 Simple, but beautiful. 

It's in this cemetery.

 Which has soldiers buried here back through every war since the American Revolution. 

The graves on the other side are all faded and written in German.

Me and the Ratters.

 I photo shopped us.

 I love how it kind of looks like we are glowing and/or melting. 

Hasta manana, locas!

Lori Ann

Sugar Rush

Over the last twelve hours I have texted my sister Erin all of the following photos. 

When she says stuff like

"Never call me again!"

and

 "I'm going to change my number, I swear I am!",

what I think she means is

 "I need more Sugar, keep those pictures coming".

On a completely unrelated side note, I am back to reading my straight romance novels again.

 Oh yes, I took a strange foray into male romance novels.

 I'm sure this surprises no one as every other post is about my love of gay men.

I just didn't find them that satisfying.

 No one was a duchess, hiding from an arranged marriage, pretending to a be a governess.

 And no one was a spinster wall flower, who somehow makes a wicked earl fall in love with her.

 And no one was getting secretly pregnant with a Greek billionaire's love child. 

Everyone was a cowboy.

Or a cop.

Or sometimes both.

 And once a demon.

Yes, a demon.

Surprisingly enough,

 a (demon)cowboy dating a (red headed) cop isn't as romantic as one might assume. 

(Don't worry. Caleb ends up changing into a human at the end.  Because Jake's love saved him.)

Anyway, Sugar and I have to go to bed now.

Well, I have to go to bed, Sugar has to trounce around the bed and try and keep me awake.

Lori Ann

Again

Another Random Update..
(because my life has been hecka random lately)

1. My mother got into a fight with her stepmother via FAX today.

That's old school.

Usually when I want to start something up with someone I leave a message on their Facebook or I drive by their house shouting obscenities and/or threats.

But to fight by fax..that's classy.

2. I guess it's true that you can't shove someone out of the closet if they don't want to come out.

 That's a lesson I had to learn the hard way.

3. Sugar is mad.

 As in completely nuts.

 I'm considering having her evaluated by either the vet or a pet psychic.

Whichever is cheaper.

4. I'm having another one of my classic "older ladies" sleepovers tomorrow.

We are going to make lemonade slushies and watch Brokeback Mountain in my theater room.

And maybe get some veggie dogs.

 If we are feeling reckless.

5. I scheduled three people for the same appointment time today.

It was super awkward when they all showed up.

Not for me.

 For them..I was like,

"Hey, figure this out among yourselves.

There's only so much of the Lori magic to go around".

6. Speaking of clients I had the cutest CUTEST 9 year old boy in my office today.

 He was what I imagine an exact combination of my two nephews would look like.

 I wanted to smother him with kisses.

 I literally had to hold myself back.

 Dang professionalism ruins everything.

 "Don't bake the clients brownies, Lori...Don't paint the client's nails, Lori..Don't smother the client's with kisses, Lori...yada, yada, yada.."

Lori Ann

Ueber'm Sternenzelt dort oben!

Tuesday Night Updates

Sugar and I are going through Aunt Erin withdrawal.

 Sugar is missing all of the extra love and attention and I am missing the tater tots and french braids.

 Come back soon, Aunt Erin!!

Aunt Erin's pillow.
 (Sugar will only sleep on it now.)

I got so much done at work today.

Probably because I left my phone in the car.

Strangely enough without books, music, or Internet at my disposal I was able to accomplish quite a bit.

 I wonder what it would be like if I focused for 8 hours every day..you know, like they're paying me for???

I'm back on Facebook.

 Not because I missed it.

 I didn't.

 I just had to keep sending one or two messages to people I only communicate with via Facebook.

Dang, Facebook has gotten boring.

Like legit boring.

I've been a vegetarian for almost 5 full months.

Although the last month or so I have been more of a "junkatarian".

 I need to stop eating white bread and peanut butter sandwiches for every meal.

 It's not OK.

Peanut butter is not my friend.

I think

  my five favorite songs of all time are..

 1. In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel

2. It Came upon a Midnight Clear by MoTab

3. Breathe Me by Sia

4. Scar Tissue by Red Hot Chili Peppers and lastly

 5. Ode to Joy from Beethoven's 9th Symphony

I want to say "Seems Legit" after everything.

 If someone says

"I had a bad day"

 "Seems legit"

or

  "did you hear Jessica got engaged?"

"Seems legit"

or
 "That Thai food made me sick last night"

 "Seems legit"

 See??

 It works in every conversation! 

Oh my gosh, I had a dream last night that I was back in school and I hadn't gone to any of my classes for the first six weeks.

 I felt strange all morning, like I was going to have to bail myself out of a bad situation.

Lori Ann

You are my candy, girl

Your daily Sugar

Cats have it all - admiration, endless sleep, and company only when they want it.

Rod McKuen

Lori Ann

And you say she's just a friend

Random Wednesday Night Update

This is Sugar's life now that Aunt Erin is here.

 Donuts and sunshine, all day long.

 She's gotten even more deranged.

One of my clients taught me a new phrase to use randomly in every day conversation.

 It goes

"People call me a gold digger, but they just want what I have"

Imagine saying that to your grand mom who is calling to check on the kids, or the pizza boy at your door.

It's been making me laugh all week.

 My clients are awesome.

Me, Erin, and Danielle and the girls are having a fancy crafting weekend this weekend.

There will be chocolate, there will be a trip to Texas Roadhouse, there will be in depth psychoanalysis of my mother, and yes, there will be low quality crafting.

Erin keeps telling me that I need to live a more sophisticated life.

 So tonight she made me a veggie chicken pattie, tater tots, and lemonade.

The jokes on you, Erin.

I've been living this kind of sophistication for years now!

There may be karaoke happening tomorrow.

Or white trash bowling.

 I'll keep you posted.

Lori Ann