Dreidel, dreidel, Dreidel..I made you out of clay

Ok, so here is what

MUST HAPPEN

for it to feel like Christmas this year.

Let's do this thing!

1. See a choir concert

Preferably a super politically correct one with song nods to every major faith from Judaism to Kwanzaa.

Ahhh yes... nothing make it feel more like Christmas then hearing a beautiful 3 part harmony of  "Chanukah Oh Chanukah".

2. A white elephant gift exchange

 I might get the kids involved in this.

Give them 5 dollars and tell them to get anything that strikes their fancy.

 But this year, let's be clear..no fireworks or moonshine.

I shouldn't even have to clarify but no one wants to have to bail out Katy again. 

3. Watch A Christmas Story

At least once and not more than 30 times.

 I feel compelled to watch it as it has many eerie similarities to my own life.

And I am obsessed with the idea of having my own "crummy little toady".

4. Go caroling

This is such a lost art.

People are so suspicious and unwilling to open their doors to their neighbors.

 Which is why we've devised a sort of trick or treat scenario.

Open your door and TREAT..you get a wonderful, heart warming Christmas carol from your neighbors and friends.

 Don't open your door and TRICK.. you get your front door egged.

Or 'Scrooge' written across your front windows in lipstick.

 Or your holiday decorations will be taken and swapped out from some discount Mexican themed "Day of the Dead' decorations we got on sale at Big Lots.

 So, your choice, really.

5.

A million other things

Cookie baking

 making a Star Wars themed ginger bread house

 staying up to midnight on Christmas Eve

having my dad's famous steak and shrimp on Christmas Eve

wearing my pajamas all of Christmas Day

 sending Erin our annual dollar store Christmas package exchange

 and  many more magical things!!!

Lori Ann

p.s.- Don't think I've forgotten Festivus.

 This year I am really going to celebrate it right

. I just have to find a metal pole..

There must have been some magic

Random Life Updates

Ok, so here is what is going on in my life.

 Strap yourselves in.

It's probably going to be a smooth and vaguely boring ride.

I am moving to a new office!

 Check it out! 

The view if you walk 1 step in

The view from outside the door

The lobby right outside my office door

Yes..I've come a long way from my very first office at my internship in Norristown, PA.

 That "office" also served as the community game room and it had a Ouija board in it.
(And schizophrenics and summoning the devil don't really go well together)

 No computer, office accessories, open space, or windows..

Just me, an unstable desk, and shelves of (literally) demonic board games.


17 office spaces later
(I moved 11 times at Youth Haven)

 and.....

The office of my dreams!
(except the yellow walls..I object to strong earth tones..but I'm not going to complain about that again. It just had to be said once)

Anyway, in other news..

After 6 years in mental health I have finally; for the first time, run into one of my clients in the bathroom.

It was epic.  

Especially because whoever had been in the bathroom before me had either been vomiting or smoking..possibly both.

And since my client was coming in as I was leaving, she could well assume that it was me.

She may be wondering if a chain smoking bulimic is the right choice to be her therapist:)

And on to other news..

I have created my "It's not going to feel like Christmas unless I do the following List"

. I'll post it tomorrow.

But let me say this..it involves sugar, Sugar, and candy.

 And seeing live animals.

All the good stuff.

Anyway, I will update you on everything Spinster Christmas tomorrow.

 It promises to be a post at least as exciting as this one!

Lori Ann



The Monroe Doctrine

James.

Sweet, sweet baby James.

He's 9 today.

I don't know how moms do it.

 I'm just his aunt and its so bittersweet:/

I love 9 year old James.

 He's confident, charismatic, and incredibly snarky.

He's pure Jamesaroni magic.

I saw him for the first time almost exactly 9 years ago to the very minute.

 Just his little lobster feet.

He was literally breath taking.

 And between him and his 3 amigos, I have learned what it is to love something more than life itself.

Happy Birthday, handsome.

I love you.

Aunt Lori

It's a jolly holiday with Elly

Sorry about the sporadic blogging.

 It's not because my life is non stop excitement, which is what I always suspect of others when they don't blog.

I always think

 "My gosh, they are out there LIVING life, so busy hiking, watching sunsets, and dancing with their spouse as they make dinner that they don't have even ONE MINUTE to blog!".

That may be true of other lax bloggers, but if there is one thing you can take to the bank with the old Spinster Chronicles- if we are not blogging, it's not because life has become a thrilling adventure.

 It's usually something along the lines of

"Where did I put my iPad again? Oh right, the cat has it. No blogging tonight"

or

"Wow..this is the last box of ring dings that I can bid on at Ebay..I'd better focus on this tonight!"

 Anyway, I had a wild night with my favorite 6 year old the other night.
(That would be the incomparable Elly Mae Monroe)

 It involved cookie baking, glitter, and promoting a feminist agenda.

My 3 favorite things, all in one night, baby!

 In other news, since I've been off Facebook and not blogging,

 I've really stepped up my game as far as stalking your blogs.

 So, let me say this...you people need to focus and blog daily.

 Seriously, don't make me spend hours drifting through your archives, judging what you wore to your mother's house on Thanksgiving 2009.

 Do. Not. Make. Me. 

 Anyway, I'll be blogging there tonight. Brace yourselves!

Lori Ann

There is just one thing I need

Today, The following things happened:

1. Someone scraped up their hands trying to rescue someone else's oversized marshmallow off the porch roof.

2. Said marshmallows were also: covered in frosting, filled with chocolate,
 blown up in the microwave, and worn as hats.
(Not all at once, of course)

3. A mother stabbed her sweet baby sister and her own child in the back
 during a game of Settlers of Catan.

3. Jack Jack learned the meaning of petty vengeance

4 Katy smacked me in the face and then, in an unusually bold counter offensive,
 ran to tell her mother that I was being mean to her.

Well played, young Jedi.

5. Speaking of smacking, Danielle became enraged when I wouldn't make her a turkey pot pie.

6. There was a cookie bake off.

 Lets just say that I won the moral victory.
(but on a more technical note, the victory went to other cookies.)

 I guess that's what happens when you sacrifice both taste and quality decorating to use your cookies

to make various anti Canadian political statements.

Another crazy day at the Monroe's!!

Thanks for letting me get my Christmas buzz on, Danielle!!

Lori Ann

My precious

You guys.

I have an iPad.

One of the first things I did was download this book

1 chapter in and best. book. ever.

So..the Obama second term has brought me more than higher taxes and having to endure the gloating of my liberal frenemies.

It's brought me an iPad.

Thank you, Mr President!

Lori Ann

As they tear your hope apart

You guys,

Oh my gosh.

Today I went to the first day of a two day training on suicide response. 

It's a training for therapists BY therapists.

Which is as funny as you might imagine.

There was a lot of sitting in circles, a lot of sharing, a lot of  "what I hear you saying is.." and "it sounds like you feel..." s . 

Each person had to talk about how suicide has impacted their life and I kid you not

; as each person spoke, the entire circle would pivot toward them,

 recross their legs, make eye contact, and offer an encouraging smile.  

It was both bizzare, slightly annoying, and oddly cute. 

On to day two tomorrow.

Then, as a treat for myself,

 I am having a sleepover with those crazy Monroe babies!!  

It's rare that they're all out on bail at the same time, after all :) 

Lori Ann