I won't even wish for snow

You guys

It's time for a random thoughts update!

Once again, not on a Thursday.

 Damn.

Anyway..

#1

I am going Christmas shopping this weekend!

 You know what that means.

 Overpriced Walmart bubble bath/lotion gift baskets will be under your tree soon!!
 (along with other stuff you didn't ask for and don't want)

# 2

Everyone is talking about wearing pants to church.

 And by "everyone", I mean just the cool kids.

Thanks, Allison for the thought provoking post.

 My mind has been on Christmas meltdown lately.

 The topic of 'to wear or not to wear' was a nice mental slap in the face!

 My brain was like "Wake up, Lori! Put down the glitter!"

# 3

I think it's really going to happen, people.

 I am officially looking for a therapist!

 I can't wait to make this persons life a nightmare.. much more thrilling place.

 I swear, I am going into that office, kicking off my shoes, sitting in what is obviously their chair, and saying
"I guess we have to start at the beginning..it snowed the October weekend I was born..".

# 4

Today, I cut off part of my skirt while in my office.

 Is it wrong that I feel kind of bad ass?
 (for the record, it was some kind of weird, overlapping fabric at the waistband.
 As if I need added bulk around the waist..)

This is my new skirt. :)

# 5

It's the branch Christmas party tonight.

Rumor has it that the Relief Society will be singing a lesser known, badly arranged, somewhat depressing Christmas ballad.

 Well, it's not so much rumor as much as historical evidence that leads me to this conclusion.

*sigh*

 I hope there are store bought sugar cookies.

And a weird nativity done by the primary.

# 6

So far I have avoided hearing the "shoes for Jesus" song.

 I think you know the one I'm talking about.

 Cross your fingers I can go the whole Christmas season without hearing it.

 It makes me feel crazy!

 (and just for the record, if I am dying, don't go and spend your small saving on shoes for me to wear in my coffin, OK? Just to clarify my position)

Wow.

 This has been a healing blog update for all of us.

 I like it.

 I am leaving feeling more refreshed and excited about life!

Lori Ann

Right from the start

It's 12-12-12, people.

I wonder if a lot of people are getting married today.

 Humm...

Anyway, the real reason I am writing is not to celebrate 12-12-12, but to celebrate 12-10-12.

My sister's birthday.

I know my sisters despise these tribute posts.

Erin is always saying "Hey Lor..why don't you read this out loud to me?"

 She knows that I never would.

They (like me) kind of hate cheesy, sentimental crap.

Anyway, I still write these because I don't know what the future holds.

 And I don't want to leave anything unsaid.

So, my sister Erin..

Erin is the kind of person everyone would want for a best friend.

She listens.

 She never judges.

 She sends you weird dollar store packages without you even realizing that a bright red snowflake mug and new mittens were just what you needed to keep going.

She knows what everyone likes.

 If you send her to get the family snacks, she will come back with exactly the thing everyone was secretly feeling like they wanted.

If you send her to get a movie, she will find just the perfect one.

She is a confidence builder.

A party starter.

 A hand up when you are down.

A few years ago she was coming home for Christmas and let me bid on tickets for her on priceline (she didn't have time).

I accidentally got her a ticket that didn't get her there until midnight on Christmas Eve.
(Good thing the old man is always up for a late night airport run!) 

 But it didn't feel like Christmas until she got there.

Until she was helping Danielle give the girls their bath.

 And gossiping about the Wilsons
 (my mom's family) 

with my mom.

 And helping my dad set the table.

 And catering to me and my eccentricities.

 And driving Jr to the movies.

One weekend spent with Erin has the rejuvenating power of a 2 week vacation.

She; more than anyone, takes care of all of us.

 And she is not celebrated enough for the amazing, brilliant, hilarious, charismatic, beautiful person that she is.

Thanks for everything, Eri.

I couldn't have asked for anything better than to have you and Danielle as sisters. 

Other than free agency, it's been God's greatest gift to me.

The real Lor 

He made my daughter laugh

You guys..

Maybe I am in a manic phase.

 Or maybe I've been eating too much of the Christmas candy I have in my office.

 It's

 "for my clients".
(and yes, that is an appropriate use of quotation marks)

But just a minute ago, I was watching the sunset from the window in my brand new giant and beautiful office when it hit me.

I have almost everything that I have ever asked God for.

I am in the career I want to be in.

I get paid to help people.

 It's all I've ever really wanted career wise.

I am living in the state where I want to live.

In PA  its breathtakingly beautiful every single day.

I am close to my nieces and nephews.

The only four people I love more than my own life.

 And they just keep getting funnier and funnier.

I am listening (on my iPad!) to songs that remind me of my childhood.

 Songs my dad used to play all night long.

I am going home to decorate the Christmas tree.

 And spend time with my evil cat.

(Who doesn't dream of having an evil cat? I think we all share that dream!)

I don't know how I got this lucky.

My days really are; for the most part, very merry and bright.

Lori Ann

Dreidel, dreidel, Dreidel..I made you out of clay

Ok, so here is what

MUST HAPPEN

for it to feel like Christmas this year.

Let's do this thing!

1. See a choir concert

Preferably a super politically correct one with song nods to every major faith from Judaism to Kwanzaa.

Ahhh yes... nothing make it feel more like Christmas then hearing a beautiful 3 part harmony of  "Chanukah Oh Chanukah".

2. A white elephant gift exchange

 I might get the kids involved in this.

Give them 5 dollars and tell them to get anything that strikes their fancy.

 But this year, let's be clear..no fireworks or moonshine.

I shouldn't even have to clarify but no one wants to have to bail out Katy again. 

3. Watch A Christmas Story

At least once and not more than 30 times.

 I feel compelled to watch it as it has many eerie similarities to my own life.

And I am obsessed with the idea of having my own "crummy little toady".

4. Go caroling

This is such a lost art.

People are so suspicious and unwilling to open their doors to their neighbors.

 Which is why we've devised a sort of trick or treat scenario.

Open your door and TREAT..you get a wonderful, heart warming Christmas carol from your neighbors and friends.

 Don't open your door and TRICK.. you get your front door egged.

Or 'Scrooge' written across your front windows in lipstick.

 Or your holiday decorations will be taken and swapped out from some discount Mexican themed "Day of the Dead' decorations we got on sale at Big Lots.

 So, your choice, really.

5.

A million other things

Cookie baking

 making a Star Wars themed ginger bread house

 staying up to midnight on Christmas Eve

having my dad's famous steak and shrimp on Christmas Eve

wearing my pajamas all of Christmas Day

 sending Erin our annual dollar store Christmas package exchange

 and  many more magical things!!!

Lori Ann

p.s.- Don't think I've forgotten Festivus.

 This year I am really going to celebrate it right

. I just have to find a metal pole..

There must have been some magic

Random Life Updates

Ok, so here is what is going on in my life.

 Strap yourselves in.

It's probably going to be a smooth and vaguely boring ride.

I am moving to a new office!

 Check it out! 

The view if you walk 1 step in

The view from outside the door

The lobby right outside my office door

Yes..I've come a long way from my very first office at my internship in Norristown, PA.

 That "office" also served as the community game room and it had a Ouija board in it.
(And schizophrenics and summoning the devil don't really go well together)

 No computer, office accessories, open space, or windows..

Just me, an unstable desk, and shelves of (literally) demonic board games.


17 office spaces later
(I moved 11 times at Youth Haven)

 and.....

The office of my dreams!
(except the yellow walls..I object to strong earth tones..but I'm not going to complain about that again. It just had to be said once)

Anyway, in other news..

After 6 years in mental health I have finally; for the first time, run into one of my clients in the bathroom.

It was epic.  

Especially because whoever had been in the bathroom before me had either been vomiting or smoking..possibly both.

And since my client was coming in as I was leaving, she could well assume that it was me.

She may be wondering if a chain smoking bulimic is the right choice to be her therapist:)

And on to other news..

I have created my "It's not going to feel like Christmas unless I do the following List"

. I'll post it tomorrow.

But let me say this..it involves sugar, Sugar, and candy.

 And seeing live animals.

All the good stuff.

Anyway, I will update you on everything Spinster Christmas tomorrow.

 It promises to be a post at least as exciting as this one!

Lori Ann



The Monroe Doctrine

James.

Sweet, sweet baby James.

He's 9 today.

I don't know how moms do it.

 I'm just his aunt and its so bittersweet:/

I love 9 year old James.

 He's confident, charismatic, and incredibly snarky.

He's pure Jamesaroni magic.

I saw him for the first time almost exactly 9 years ago to the very minute.

 Just his little lobster feet.

He was literally breath taking.

 And between him and his 3 amigos, I have learned what it is to love something more than life itself.

Happy Birthday, handsome.

I love you.

Aunt Lori

It's a jolly holiday with Elly

Sorry about the sporadic blogging.

 It's not because my life is non stop excitement, which is what I always suspect of others when they don't blog.

I always think

 "My gosh, they are out there LIVING life, so busy hiking, watching sunsets, and dancing with their spouse as they make dinner that they don't have even ONE MINUTE to blog!".

That may be true of other lax bloggers, but if there is one thing you can take to the bank with the old Spinster Chronicles- if we are not blogging, it's not because life has become a thrilling adventure.

 It's usually something along the lines of

"Where did I put my iPad again? Oh right, the cat has it. No blogging tonight"

or

"Wow..this is the last box of ring dings that I can bid on at Ebay..I'd better focus on this tonight!"

 Anyway, I had a wild night with my favorite 6 year old the other night.
(That would be the incomparable Elly Mae Monroe)

 It involved cookie baking, glitter, and promoting a feminist agenda.

My 3 favorite things, all in one night, baby!

 In other news, since I've been off Facebook and not blogging,

 I've really stepped up my game as far as stalking your blogs.

 So, let me say this...you people need to focus and blog daily.

 Seriously, don't make me spend hours drifting through your archives, judging what you wore to your mother's house on Thanksgiving 2009.

 Do. Not. Make. Me. 

 Anyway, I'll be blogging there tonight. Brace yourselves!

Lori Ann