Tuesday, July 2, 2013

No telling where it will take ya

You guys,

We've been to Philly.
 We've conquered NYC
And now, the next city to feel our wrath  (I love that phrase, I can't explain why)

Gettysburg!
(just like NYC, only rural. And smaller. And the site of a major civil war battle. And no hot dog vendors.)

Everything about this trip is already awesome. Between staying in a shady hotel in Amish country, to the kids extreme fascination with the idea that there might be ghosts, to the Miley Cyrus heavy playlist I created for our roadtrip.

This is going to be the most epic trip yet, I can feel it!

Lori Ann

Saturday, June 29, 2013

I've got homies

My weekend so far. The picture version.
 This was me on Friday. In the middle of my 7 appointments in a row. Look at my eyes. Completely glazed over. 
 Then Elly challenged me to some soccer in the backyard. The picture after this is Elly crying and asking me for my autograph. (or perhaps its of Elly blocking me from scoring....again)
 The Monroes' are having weird and fancy dinners at their house like every night. I don't know what to make of it but it feels a little like betrayal. I felt the same way when they bought a house and got retirement plan and all that. I don't understand that kind of fancy living:) 
 I took Jack "I've read more books than you", James "Kayne speaks to my soul", Elly " The Olympic soccer scouts are calling me already" and Katy " I feed my stuffed animals human food" Monroe out on the town for a little while this morning. We started at Payless. Then made the next logical stop... 
 The fireworks tent!
Then for a secret club meeting at McDonald's. 

Since that time I have been watching shows about people murdering other people and getting into minor squabbles with the cats. 

La la la. 

Lori Ann

p.s.- I did see "the heat" with Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock last night. (in a pouring down thunderstorm). I give it a 6/10. Funny but worth waiting to rent. 


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I don't care what my dad says..I think Chief Justice Roberts is hot!


You guys,

Thanks to the Supreme Court's rulings today it won't be long until us eternally single people get the legal recognition we deserve.

Today began the slippery slope towards full, country wide marriage "equality" (I put equality in quotation marks because gays and straights never address the inequality they are subjecting us singles to).

First, all marriages; regardless of gender of couples will be recognized.

Then, all marriages, regardless of number of participants will be recognized.

AND FINALLY...after all the "we're special because we have a sexual relationship" people have been recognized by the Courts, the rest of us will finally get what we deserve.

Marriages (or civil unions..whatever) will no longer be the sole province of those who are sleeping together.

How could anyone call that fair?

I may never find a husband (or wife) to get into a sexual relationship with.

Should I be denied the tax benefits of filing jointly with someone?

Should I be denied the ability to be on someone's insurance if I lose my job?

Should I be denied the social acceptance I crave?

Etc, etc, etc.

Whether it's a friend, a relative, or whatever, I look forward to becoming legally joined with someone (without the discriminatory requirement of a sexual relationship) and reaping the financial and social benefits that this country has to offer.

Well done, SCOTUS. Well done.

Lori Ann

Monday, June 24, 2013

Oh my me my

I was home sick from work today.

This is the result.

You're Welcome.



Lori Ann 

Sunday, June 23, 2013

We both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter


I've been sick all weekend.

And by sick, I mean your average cold. Not sick enough to justify taking the next few days off of work, but sick enough to feel blah, skip church, and spend too much time lazing around. 

I've only gotten one thing on my weekend to do list done.

 I haven't worked out in 3 days. 

And I upchucked some tator tots today. 

So, all in all, it's been a festive few days for me. 

I'm putting this on my blog because I suspect that many of you think of my life as some kind of fairytale. I know you are used to seeing pictures of me, walking in fields of daisies or hearing about the latest proposal I turned down from a wealthy, emotionally needy Italian man.

But I'm just like you. I'm human, people. I can't live on the pedestal you've placed me on, ok? 

ha ha ha

Lori Ann

Friday, June 21, 2013

Ray, the next time someone asks you if you are a God, you say YES!

Sometimes, when I get bored at work, I go back through my own blog (like a narcissist) rereading and laughing at previous posts and tearing up at all of my heart felt tributes.

All of that is true- except the tearing up part- I'm not that much of a narcissist.

Anyway, today I decided to rummage through my sister's blog and see what she was doing 4 years ago around this time.

 I found this!
It's Gozer the Destructor and the One Sock Bandit!! Arent' they precious?

I loved Elly at this age- she had such a squeaky voice and was starting to show her super competitive, crazy side.

 I feared Katy at this age. This was when she started to be able to break me. I would babysit for an hour or two and she would destroy so much, so fast, I usually ended up laying on the floor, crying like a little girl.

Sometimes I have the thought that they are still out there.These smaller, crazier versions of my nieces and nephews.

I just have this feeling that one day I will go to Walmart and find 3 year old Elly hula hooping, baby Jack smiling that blindingly perfect smile, baby James; with his large head, lolling about in the cart, and little Katy, knocking stuff off the shelf and shrieking with glee.

Anyway, my point is that this picture made me smile AND realize how fast time is flying by.

Lori Ann

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Trying to get away into the night


Today's topic:

Questions I have been asking myself lately...

1. Why do both "hotel California" and "I think we're alone now" play almost EVERY SINGLE TIME I drive to or from work? There has got to be some meaning there that I am missing.

2. I am all for partisan bickering...it keeps me entertained. However, why is there such a double standard? In the last few days I've seen articles entitled "Why is the GOP stuck on stupid?" and "The clueless Republican caucus" and "Why can't the Republicans learn?". And these are mild compared to some that I have seen. I have NEVER seen an article entitled "Democrats are idiots" or anything of that nature.

3. Why does time slow down on the treadmill? Seriously, it sssslllllloooooowwwwwssss down. The only time it has gone fast for me is when I was watching the Breakfast club. I am sure the people around me were really excited to hear me repeating all of the lines along with the movie. "You're so conceited, Clair".

4. Is it possible to have health and fitness bipolar? Because I swear I swing from manic (going to the gym twice in one day) to depressive (eating Chinese food for breakfast and dodging my trainer).

5. Is it wrong to steal someone else's fruit kabob? Or it so wrong it has to be right?

6. Why do they put cantaloupe on fruit kabobs? Cantaloupe should be banned from all mixed fruit items. I don't think I am alone in this. Right?

7. I think I found the perfect quote for the wall in my office. What do you think?

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”


It's by Maslow. I adore Maslow.

Lori Ann