If you want me to

This song is my newest obsession.

I'm going to add it to my 'suicide mix' (as Erin calls it)

I like the idea of calling up various acquaintances and playing this song. When they are like "dude, what's up with this?" I will just say "You know". And then hang up. 

On an unrelated note, I plan to be losing a lot of friends and acquaintances in the near future. 

T-minus 5 hours and 50 minutes until I am done work. *Pause*  Make that 4 hours and 20 minutes.

Work keeps interfering with my blogging  Gosh.

I've got 23 items on my weekend to do list.

Getting over this flu and off my anxiety meds has kicked my mania back in.

I like it.

Lori Ann

Her hands are all twisted

I don't know why but this is my favorite picture of my mother ever.


Today's topic: Friendship

My sister's can testify that I am either a horrible friend or an obsessive friend.

I either speak to you only when facebook reminds me it's your birthday
 (and sometimes not even then)

or

I email you 23 times a day.

I wish I could find some middle ground.

Because I think I exhaust people.

Either by negligence or by expecting too much.

I wish I were normal.

That I had a circle of maybe 10 good friends

50 'when you are in town let's hang out' friends

and 100

'Let's exchange Christmas cards and wedding invite' friendships.

But what I have is about 20 'I really should work harder on this friendship' friends
(ex comps, cousins, etc)

and about 200 ' I would defriend you but I'm too nosy' friends.

And my sisters.

Who are and always will be my very best frenemies.

But I've been thinking lately about adding legit friends to my life.

My therapist recommended it.

(is it just me or is it totally awesome to say "my therapist"? I get the same thrill when I talk about "my trainer")

We'll see how this goes.

Nos ir ya,

Lori Ann

That's who I am

When you click on the individual names, it tells you their birth and death date and where they lived

I've been home sick today. AGAIN. That's twice in less than two months. 

The end may be near, people.

Anyway, so I get bored when I am at home sick. It loses it's "I'm not at work" thrill after about 11 minutes.

So I found THIS. Which is actually part of THIS. 

My patriarchal blessing talks alot about me learning about and doing work for my ancestors. That they are waiting for and counting on me.

That's one of the reasons I asked for that DNA test for my birthday. 

I haven't done very well in this area.

I'm sad to say that I don't even really know that much about my grandparents. 

In the last few years I've learned that:

My grandpa Hinsdale was actually a Marine, not in the Air Force like I thought (though he was a pilot during the war) He had a Silver Star. My dad says he would never talk about the war.

My grandma Hinsdale was one of like 10 kids. But her dad left her mom and had 8 kids with someone else. Or something like that. Her only full brother was named David. Which is where my dad gets his name. 

My grandmom Wilson (mom's mom) was the oldest of 5. When she was very young her mother left the family and moved back to Ireland. She never saw her again and knows nothing about what happened to her. My grandmother was raised in foster care. My mom has never met her grandmother.

My grandfather Wilson's mom was married before she married his dad. She always told my mom that her first marriage was to a mobster. Which I think is probably the truth.

And that is just what I've learned about my grandparents. I can't imagine all that I don't know about my earlier family. I wish I knew something. Anything.

So, I know this 

and this

Other Random Things I know:

Hinsdales have been in America for over 400 years. Since the 1600's. My dad says they weren't on the Mayflower but probably the next ship over. I am probably somewhere between a 16th to 20th generation American.

Wilson's came over during the potato famine. I think.

I'm more Irish than anything else. 

In conclusion (of another rambling post): 

It's kind of odd the stuff you think about when you are sick. I've been thinking about my ancestors, Jake Gyllenhaal's hotness, learning to make cold hot chocolate, and how I can convince Sugar to wear a Santa suit. 

So, another amazing and productive sick day under my belt. 

Lori Ann

With the girl I love

                                         

 

Random Monday Night Updates

1. I think I have the flu. I feel dizzy, hot and cold, a little outside of my own body. It probably doesn't help that I've been taking myself on and off of my anxiety meds. 

2. Which I am officially off of now, thank you very much. Look for the crazy to be coming back to this blog soon!

3. I am still working on my marathon training blog. Try to hold back your excitement. 

4. I barely remember anything that happened at work today and I've only been home for an hour. 

5. I do remember using the 'F' word. Maybe this will just sound like a rationalization but my clinical supervisor told me that I need to be comfortable using bad language so my clients could feel not judged and use bad language if that's what their vernacular was. (Kind of similar to how I had to get comfortable talking about sex even though I'm not comfortable talking about sex) Up until I became a therapist I think I had said the F word once in my life. It still makes me feel weird and gross to say it. 

6. My therapist told me that I don't have friendship building skills. I'm trying to work on that. But as friendly as I may seem, I really don't trust people. 

7. I called and rescheduled all of my appointments for tomorrow. I am taking a sick day. I wonder if my clients thought it was weird that I was calling them from my office today to tell them that I would be out sick tomorrow? 

8. Just a heads up, if you ever get your autobiography published on Amazon, I will buy it. Then I will stay up all night reading it. Then talk to various people in my office about it. Beware. 

9. I told my mom that if this flu kills me I want Sugar to be buried with me like old Egyptian rulers had their families buried with them when they died. I wasn't surprised to hear my mother immediately say "Oh, I won't have a problem disposing of Sugar". 

Lori Ann

It's all the answer

Random Saturday Night Life Updates

For the last 3 days I have been off from work. 

So my new job has been to eat like there is no tomorrow. 

I tried to get back on track today but the Captain Crunch knows where I am. It knows my name. You guys...it knows my name.

Anyway...

T-minus 120 days until my half marathon. 

I really, really would like NOT to be the last one done. 

My pink sneakers!

So...

I walked 7 miles today. 

Probably the farthest I've walked in my life at one time.

Unless you count the mission. Who the heck knows how far I walked then. (and in church shoes, no less!)

I think I am driving my family crazy with my training.

I like to get my walk (and/or run) in and then I LOVE to complain about how I feel like I've been hit by a bus for the rest of the day. 

So to spare my family further suffering, I decided to go to my office and I was going to pull EVERY single one of my client's files (all 103 of them) and update things and make notes about what I needed to do for them.

Yeaaaaahhhhhh.....

I was in my office for three hours and I did the following:

Decorated for Christmas. 

Watched an entire movie on Youtube.

Emailed my new BFF Michele. Like 19 times.

Fell asleep listening to sad Christmas music. 

Which led to...

Coming home and watching several riveting episodes of Extreme Couponing. 

Because I focus on what's important, people. There's probably a lot you could learn from me.

So then...

My sister Erin calls me and tells me that what she really wants to do when she comes home is see me dress up like a bear, scare my dad, and then possibly die jumping off the back porch in the middle of the night. 

I told her that I will follow her Christmas to-do list as long as it doesn't involve me dying.

I don't think that's too much to ask. 

And finally...

I recognize that my new blog banner looks like Christmas threw up all over it. I have no power to edit. 

I did resist the urge to photoshop a santa hat onto Sugar. 

This could be the most random random update ever. It definitely ranks among the least coherent and most boring. 

Lori Ann

p.s.- I am starting a temporary blog to track my marathon training progress and blog about health crap. So that I can reserve this blog for important stuff. Like my love of glitter. And my fights with my cat. And how captain crunch should be part of every one's marathon journey.

Look for it to be linked here tomorrow:) 

the 5th President of the United States

James Ray Monroe. 

Of all of my nieces and nephews, James would appreciate a sappy tribute the least. He avoids kisses, runs from hugs, and despises when I call him my 'turkey baby'. 

(even though his birthday is on Thanksgiving today)

So, in his honor, I will try to dial down the sappiness.

James, 

You're pretty cool, dude.

From your classically white dancing skills, to the weird arm pit sounds you like to make, to your recent love of learning bad language- everything about you is pretty dang awesome.

I can't believe you are in the double digits now. I remember the day we picked you up from the turkey aisle...ummm.... you were born at the Hospital.

 I knew that very day that you were going to be the best thing that ever happened to us.

Never, ever change, James. 

I love you so much. 

Umm... I think you're kinda ok. 

See? Not that sappy. 

Happy Birthday to the best d@#& nephew in all the world!

 (that bad language was for you, Jamesaroni!)

Love,

Aunt Lori

You're gonna be the one that saves me

I am completing my Thanksgiving Day post one day early.

A. Because I am between clients right now and

B. Because tomorrow is not only Thanksgiving but the birthday of one James Ray Monroe and I need to write his blog tribute on his birthday.

So...

Here is what I am Thankful For This Year

 (the unabridged list)

I am thankful for:

My bright pink running shoes.

My middle name. I don't know if you caught it but I am kind of obsessed with the 'Ann'. It's all Ann mania from here on out!

My cat Sugar- who has enabled me to make the graceful transition from odd, awkward older single girl to official Spinster crazy cat lady.

My new friends. The ones that won't let me self isolate and listen to my endless whining. You know who you are!

My religion. The more people I counsel, the more grateful I am to have the Gospel in my life. It's made me who I am.

And of course, my home, family, country, job, etc, etc, etc, etc..... I am truly, honestly, and deeply thankful for all of these things. But the number one thing I am thankful for and am blessed by in my life....

Jack Allen, James Ray, Elizabeth Mae, and Katherine Danielle.

My nieces and nephews. My fellow secret club members. My stealing Uncle Dave's captain crunch co-conspirators. My youtube party dancing partners.

My four favorite people in all of the world.

Thanksgiving won't be the same without you.

Lori Ann