Material Girl

I spend way too much time reading blogs that have pictures like this:

Or this:

 or this: 

I read blog posts with subjects such as: 

HOW I LOST THOSE DARN 5 LBS OF PREGNANCY WEIGHT

JUST WENT ANTIQUING AND GOT THIS TABLE FOR A STEAL- $399

FOR MY BIRTHDAY, MY MOM SPOILED ME AGAIN AND BOUGHT ME A FLAT SCREEN

I JUST BOUGHT MY 107TH VINTAGE DRESS ON ETSY. HERE I AM MODELLING IT BY A LAKE BEHIND OUR HOUSE- WITH MY HUSBAND (WHO IS NOT GAY,EVEN THOUGH HE DRESSES LIKE THIS) -AND OUR 7 KIDS WHO LOOK DOCILE AND WELL GROOMED

If you couldn't tell from the above pics and blog post descriptions, I totally seethe with jealousy and rage when I read these blogs. 

However, I am not one of those girls.

 I will never be a size two, I think antiques are too cluttery, my mom hasn't bought me a present since the 1900s, and I don't have a gay husband to dress up.

*sigh*

But- my jealousy exists for a reason.

There is something that these girls have that I want.

I think its the idea of adding beauty and fanciness to my every day life.

So, I will be blogging about my attempts to have some 'fancy' in my life- whether it be doing my hair in a beehive or doing crafts on a budget (like a 2 dollar budget), or rifling through the local antique store for some junk to clutter up my life.

Get ready people.

 They don't call me the Martha Stewart of Rockingham County for nothing!

(and by 'they' I mean 'me')

Lori Ann

Her tongue appears to be hinged in the middle, but she may turn out all right.

It's not often that I do two new things in one day. 

Today I did.

 I waxed my car.

 I dyed tulle with jello.

 Lucky for you I have pictures of this!

It turned out pretty sweet.

 Just the perfect shade of pink.

It's for Elly. 

I can't believe she is going to be 5.

Where did that red headed baby go?

Lori Ann

p.s.- Here is the start of the pink tulle wreath I am making for Elly!! 

p.p.s. I am kind of a crafting genius! 

You can Google it.

I know probably everyone has googled their name.

 I have.

 It takes me to "Lori's Shoes" in Hinsdale, Illinois

 (that's a fun fact about me. I served in Hinsdale Illinois, though we never went there because there were no Hispanic people living there)

Anyway, I took it a step farther and GOOGLE IMAGED my name. 

These are my favorite images of what turned up. 

So, Google has an image of me as a Revenge seeking monster,  putting on lipstick with a zombie filming, all the while chilling with some cute African American boys.

How did they get into my head?

 That is my life story!!
(minus the monster, putting on lipstick, zombie,hanging out with cute boys part)

Lori Ann

Go on, take the chicken and run!

Intern number 3 and I left this note on the desk of Intern number 2.

 She doesn't know it yet, but she is supposed to help us release a chicken into the wild.
 (one of my life goals)

I know what you are thinking.."boy, those interns are lucky!

My supervisor never left me vaguely threatening letters" 

Lori Ann

p.s.- Laura (aka Intern number 2)- if anyone tells you that I said "if we get caught, lets run and let Laura take the fall" that is completely false. I promise:) 

Random Thoughts Wednesday, because it feels like a Thursday

I love my nieces and nephews.

 And I've got the cheap craft projects to prove it! 

I am obsessed with taking pictures of cool looking light. Like this. 

My sister Erin is probably going to get her LCSW! 

After spending my life following in the footsteps of both of my older sisters, its weird (but awesome) to have one of them follow in mine.

 Go, Eri! 

The trenches await you!! 

I now have three Hispanic clients I provide outpatient therapy too.

 I have a hard enough time providing therapy in English.

 Good thing all I ever really say is "How do you feel about that?

 Como se siente acerca de esto?"

Lori Ann

When a boy comes over, you should always have something baking

So, yeah I'm sure you've heard all the chatter and buzz about what a great cook I am becoming.

I'm probably totally going to take over for Martha when she retires. 

Anyway, tonight I am going to be sharing some of the magic with you!

Prepare to learn how to make potato and ham soup in four easy steps!!

Step one: cut up ham and potatoes.

 Don't forget the running commentary to your imaginary audience as you dice your soup ingredients.

Step 2: For the first time in my entire life, I voluntarily added onion to something.

 Boo yah!
 (The actual step is to chop some onions)

Step 3:  Additional ingredients include: cheese, milk, flour, salt and pepper to taste..and there is more to this step, but I forget.

Saute something, bring something to a boil, blah blah,blah

Step 4: Enjoy some home cooked goodness! Relish in your culinary superiority.

 Following dinner send daily anonymous email to Martha. 

Make this one vaguely threatening in nature.

Lori Ann

Whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed

Brunette is the new awesome!

Lori Ann