Heaven bent

I love quotes like this. 

I have the desire to do so much.

 The older I get the more I realize how fleeting time really is. 

Your life goes by so quickly. 

I think of all of the things I haven't seen or done and I feel so inspired and have such a sense of urgency to

get up

 get out

 and do something!

Then I find myself drinking diet coke and fighting with my cat at  9 am on a Thursday morning. 

 Hmmm...

I wonder how often Jefferson found himself in the same position? :)

Anyway, 

Speaking of inspiring quotes, I still haven't figured out what to hang on my office wall. 

I am cutting letters out of vinyl tonight for my office wall and I have no idea what quote to use. 

Some I have considered..

"Begin anywhere"

"It's not what we look at..it's what we see"

"Life is a tough crowd" 

(my favorite Taylor Swift lyric ever!)

and assorted others.

Give me ideas PLEASE!!

Lori Ann

This one is too long but I love it!

What do you mean, he don't eat no meat?

I only managed 9 months of vegetarianism.

Not because the desire for meat became overwhelming but because I moved back in with my parents.

You can't live with my dad and be a vegetarian.

It would be like trying to live with an apostle and be an inactive.

Anyway...

Here are the

Top 5 Things that I got out of my 9 months of Vegetarianism!

5. Veggie products are REALLY good.

My favorite is the veggie chicken patty.

If you've been afraid to try a boca burger or vegan cake..go for it!

4. It's weird how hard it is to live in this world without meat.

You realize how much you ate before, how it's in so many dishes, and how it can be tricky finding ways around eating it.

3. Going vegetarian WILL break fast food addiction.

 Meat is the center of almost every fast food meal.

 The only one with a veggie burger is BK and it is so-so.

When you come back to meat you realize how crappy most fast food burgers and chicken patties are.

 Also, for some reason, without eating the burgers, the fries and everything lose their taste too.

2. Going vegetarian will not make you a healthy eater if you weren't one before.

I completely thought that I would lose millions of pounds and be running a marathon, drinking my protein slash veggie shake that I had strapped to my arm as crossed the 26th mile.

 Instead I was eating a lot of grilled cheese and gummi bears, laying on my couch, watching Revenge on Hulu.

1. Vegetarians seem a lot less smug and irritating if you join them.

 They become super supportive and encouraging.

 I made some great veggie friends, learned some awesome new recipes, and challenged myself in a way that I have never have before.

I am still contemplating a vegetarian lifestyle. I think I could do it.

 I'll get back to you on what I decide.

Right after I eat this steak my dad made me :)

Lori Ann

p.s.- Even though it was technically only 9 months, I am still considering my bucket list goal of going vegetarian for 1 year accomplished! I learned what i was meant to learn, I think. Go me! That is 1 goal I got done in 2012!!

It's now or never

It's New Years Day. 

Y'all know what that means. 

It's time for the Spinster Chronicles New Year Resolutions!

They are sure to last a  few weeks or maybe just a day or two all year!

My only real resolutions for this year are to take better care of my health and to blog every day. 

I love looking back on the crazy days of my life.

 I guess that's because I am a narcissist.

Also, blogging inspires me to have more adventures and live life a little more out of my comfort zone. 

So, let's do this thing.

Blog every single day of 2013. 

I am going to start 2013 off with 13 things that I would LIKE to accomplish but won't call resolutions because that is a sure fire way to ensure that they won't get done.

13. Get close to my goal weight.

 Or at least thin enough to hand out a lot of smug, heavy handed weight loss and life advice to everyone else.
(which is what I've always wanted to do anyway)

12. Participate in a protest- I want to be more than just an American in name.

I want to live my life by American ideals.

11. Have amazing birthdays for all of the kids.

 Whether they be big or small..just days that they will cherish 

10. Support my sisters more.

 Whether it's just listening, sending care packages, or whatever..

I want to help them achieve whatever goals they have for themselves this 2013.

9. Get my student loans consolidated and down to an under 300 dollar a month payment.

Dang grad school..why did you have to be so expensive??

 And why didn't ignoring my student loans make them go away?

8. Learn to walk in heels. NOT stilettos..I will never have the feet for stilettos.

 But I need to stop wearing squishy, little girl flats every day of my life.

7. Enjoy more of PA.

I love it here..I love it, I love it, I love it.

 I think any faithful reader of the SC's knows of my obsession with PA.

 But this year I want to get out and see more of this state that I love.

 Philadelphia, Lancaster, back to where I was born,

 Doylestown, just...everywhere.
(except Pittsburgh... in fact, anything west of Harrisburg can break off and join Ohio)

6. Accomplish at least 5 things on my Bucket List.

 Like sleeping under the stars on Halloween.

 Or dancing all night.

 Or eating alone in a fancy restaurant.

Something.

 This year I got 0 goals accomplished. 

5. Finish Moby Dick.

And other books on my 100 greatest books of all time list.

I've finally broken my 20 year addiction to romance novels
 (thanks to gay romance novels and Jack growing his hair like Fabio..long story)

 and it's the perfect time to enrich my mind and life with good literature. 

4. Get more in touch with my ancestry.

 My family knows a lot actually.

We even have a Hinsdale genealogy book.
(More perks of Mormonism)

 Anyway, I need to learn this information for myself.

3. Give up TV (again) with the following exceptions: 2 weekly shows on Hulu (New Girl and Revenge) and Jeopardy. 

2. Have a real life adventure.

 Something that takes me out of the routine of my life and is thrilling and unplanned and awesome. 

1. Serve more.

I haven't done enough service over the last decade and I can feel it's loss.

 Service builds me up so much.

I need to do something daily to maintain positive mental health. 

Wow..this is a super self indulgent list.

 And I don't even have pictures to liven it up.

 Oh well. 

Ok, we've got 364 days to see how this all ends up. Wish me luck!!

Lori Ann

Something might be found to take it's place

You guys...

I haven't really taken this blog to where it needs to be.

I've got mired down in birthday tributes, un-photo shopped pictures of the kids, and weird posts about my cat.

It's been self indulgent.

This blog is supposed to be the place where you- the reader-comes to feel inadequate and question your major life decisions.

You should look at what I am wearing and think...


 " Why don't I have a pair of lime green skinny jeans?"

You should read about my adventures and think

 "If I hadn't gotten married, maybe I would be sky diving in Indonesia right now".

You should say the name "Spinster Chronicles" and feel both a jolt of envy and a small prickle of fear.

That's what I have always wanted for this blog and my readers.

 For my blog to be a place you come, writhing with intense insecurity, to emotionally berate yourself and your second class lifestyle.

Therefore, I am now committing, in front of all of you dear readers, to live a life worthy of this blog.

I pledge to do all of the following:

To dance (in the rain) in "how can she wear garments with that dress" dresses.

To wear name brand stilettos all of the time.

 Especially when I am at the farmers and/or flea market.

To take heavily photo shopped pictures of me and the kids
(or better behaved stand ins for the kids)

 walking through the woods while it's snowing.

We'll be wearing matching mittens, have rosy cheeks, and will be collecting berries for homemade pie.

To update you on my "little projects"- like gold leafing the frame of an original Picasso I found at the thrift store.

Or single handed painting the exterior of an orphanage.

 If they still exist.

To share my unorthodox political views in a "because I care, let's all band together" sort of fashion.

For example: "Everyone join me in supporting polygamy because how many women do we know who aren't emotionally supported in their marriage?

 And how many men do we know who cheat?

 Why are we OK watching these people suffer?

 And their children?

 For some outdated, culturally repressed, exclusive, and ignorant ideal of monogamy?

 Let's take our religious and social blinders off and open our eyes to the needs of those around us.

Wear your lime green skinny jeans on Arbor day if you agree.

Anyway, as you can tell, a lot of changes are coming to the Spinster Chronicles.

Starting with a more dedicated use of slang that is neither age appropriate nor used in a meaningful context.

It just got real in here, yo.

Lori Ann

Just like the ones we used to know

This is what I woke up to on Christmas morning.

Snow and Sugar.

Add that to some fabulous gifts, quality nap time, and getting to see those Monroe babies and it was almost the perfect Christmas.

All that was missing was my Irish twin.

Merry Christmas to you all and especially to her. 

Lori Ann

And the moon is the only light that we'll see

I love Christmas.

It always reminds me of what is important and how lucky I am.

 And its sparkly. 

The only thing marring the perfection of this holiday is not having those Monrobies here. 

I guess it's only fair that they spend the holiday with the Monroe side of the family. 

The kids barely know them.

 I don't think they've ever met or talked to some of Jack's siblings and their spouses and they only see their Monroe grandparents like once a year. 

So even though its only fair that they are there, I still miss them. 

Jack Jack's scientific mind. 

James's insane and hilarious sense of humor.
 ( a non literal Monroe child.. It's a festivus miracle!) 

Elly's crazy, power mad megalomania. 

And most of all, I miss Katy's sweetness. 

If she were here she would be wrapping gifts for the cats and spending time with Uncle Dave.

Katy is the perfect niece for him.

She never forgets him like the rest of us do at times. 

And, in a Spinster Chronicles first, I will admit to missing my sister Danielle. 

She does all the work of Christmas and lets the rest of us have the glory.

 If she were here we would be putting the kids to bed after a wild night of cookie baking....

with me singing with the kids and eating sprinkles while she mixes the cookie dough, bakes the cookies, helps the kids frost, and cleans everything up:)


 And then we would be having a 3 hour conversation about politics and religion and life.

It burns me to admit that, even though I love to talk about having my Masters Degree,

 Danielle is much smarter than me. 

So, even though December 25th may come and go, it won't really be Christmas until they get home.
 (except for the whole opening presents thing... That waits for no man! ) 

Lori Ann

Somebody please tell him

Random Thoughts

The I'm almost done work
(if you count avoiding paperwork and blogging as work that is)
 Edition!

I only have 90 79 minutes until my Christmas break begins...yes, all 4 days of it!

I am so excited.

  I need a break from this place.

Working in mental health will make you crazy.

Speaking of which, I have been trying to find a therapist and it's already been an eye opening experience!

First, apparently it's hard to get a scheduled appointment if you have a job.

There aren't a lot of therapists with late hours.

Second, my heart was pounding when I called the one office because I kept thinking

 "Whoever I talk to is going to think I am crazy."

This was not the number I called. But I found the picture to be mildly amusing

It was really uncomfortable for me to talk to someone about getting therapy.

I didn't want anyone to think that there was something wrong with me.

So yeah...my empathy level for my clients is totally up right now

. It must have been hard on a lot of them to make that first appointment.

Then to sit in an office with me; someone who is clearly close to perfect, it's just got to be demoralizing... :)

I was just overwhelmed with the urge to listen to "Superbass"

. It's the only Nicki Minaj in my itunes.

I am going to miss the kiddos this Christmas.

 They are going to be in good old NC.

I hope they have some Cook Out for me.

 Especially their cheese fries.

I am giving a talk in church next week.

 The first I have given in several years
(due to my quasi active, leave after Sacrament lifestyle)

 The topic is

 "A change of heart"

 Well played, branch president.

 Well played.

There has been a lot of chatter about Mitt coming to hear my talk. It's probably going to happen. Calm down, people! 

When I get home, I am putting on my pj's, having some chili, and , zoning out with my Sugar cookie for the rest of the night, watching completely mindless TV and youtube clips.

Nothing says "I'm celebrating the birth of the King of Kings" like watching weird cat videos on Youtube.

Feliz Navidad a todo mi gente!

Lori Ann

p.s.- I have now written (counting this one) 601 blog posts.

That is going to be a lot of info for either my biographer and/or the police to sift through one day!