Baby it's cold outside (Part 1)

You guys.

It's snowing here.

And I got to my office two hours early but couldn't focus on anything.

So I did what any hardworking, professional, career minded girl does in that moment.

 I laid on my floor and read and then I made a video of my office.

Oh yes.

It's going to be featured on this blog tonight!

 It just got real in here. 

Lori Ann

p.s.- As a little preview to further set you on the edge of excitement, here is an excerpt of the dialogue taken directly from the video..

"And over here we have my lamp..I got it at IKEA. It's pretty, right? Anyway, now to the bookcase.."

On a little rowboat to find you

I got to go walking this morning with this handsome guy.

We talked about everything.

All the important life topics that philosophers have discussed and debated for centuries.

Minecraft. Angry Birds in space. Something called Temple Runner 2. Call of Duty.

And somewhere between all the talk of games and apps, we had a great conversation.

We talked about life. About times we have been sad. About how life is not always fair. And about the potential that he has to do anything and be anyone he wants to be.

It made me realize that I need to listen more. Especially to the kids. I really have a hard time listening. It's what I do all day, so I don't have the patience for it once I get home. But it wasn't until we covered all of the gaming things that he wanted to say that he really started talking to me. About stuff that doesn't involve an ipod, ipad, or laptop.

I hope that one day the kids will read these entries and know how much they have always meant to me. Being an aunt is the most important thing I do and the best part of who I am.

Anyway- on a related side note- I walked a mile and half this morning! Holy Hannah- I am so going to get in shape and make you all EVEN MORE jealous. Brace yourselves!!

Lori Ann

Till eternity passes away

We went to Philadelphia again this weekend.

I have seen more of Philly in the last two trips than I did in the entire year that I lived there.

I guess its a little sad that I didn't get around much, but it was grad school, people. I had school, internship, job, and my nightly 9 pm date with a plate of cheese fries to focus on.

Gosh, you people are demanding. It's a good thing you are also incredibly hot too. It balances out the demandingness.

Anyway- the Museum of Art was AMAZING.

We saw some Picasso, Van Gogh, Renior, Monet, Manet, Pollock, and hundreds of others.

And though they whined and dragged their feet for some of it, I think the kids really enjoyed themselves.

And for me there is nothing more magical in this world than introducing my nieces and nephews to new things, new ideas, new places.

Like I always say- I wish I could show them the whole world.

But I'll settle for Philly, NYC, and DC for now.

Anyway, in closing, I have decided that I am going to give a name to all of these recent trips and things we have been doing. It'll be the Spinster Chronicle's first REAL series. (since "poor girl's fancy" never got off the ground.)

Let's call it the "Live Your Life" series.

Look for another exciting update soon. Maybe tomorrow.

Because we are going walking slash kite flying in the park at 7 am.

You know that is going to be epic.

Lori Ann

Up to the highest height aka the Job Chronicles

You guys.

This may already be featured on Youtube. I am sure someone caught it on video, but I feel like my loyal readers should hear it from me first.

Today I fell in front of my office building while outside flying a kite.

Oh yes. Don't adjust your screen..you read it right.

I fell.

In front of my office.

While outside.

Flying a kite.

(A lady bug kite to be exact.)

On the upside, the weird road rash scrape I got on my hands and legs matches my red dress today.

Today was an epic day in the life of the Spinster Chronicles. I've contemplated a few times in the hours since "the incident" renaming this 'Job's Chronicles' since our lives have so many parallels now.

Anyway, in closing, I'd like to say what I think we are all pretty much thinking in this moment.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.

Lori Ann

On the outskirts of New Orleans

If I met my clients in the park and was comfortable hugging them- this would be me. I'm the one in the orange hat. They're in the weird multi colored hat.

This job is making me feel like a compassion whore.

I literally have one person in my office, crying, and talking about their problems and then; on the hour, I kick them out and bring in the next one.

And I make a conscious effort to make every person feel like they are my only client.

Like I don't want them to think I might be "cheating" with other clients.

I will wait until they leave the building before I call the next client's name, even if I see them sitting out in the waiting room.

But I am cheating on my clients. With many, many other clients.

Oh yes.

I have over 100 clients.

There are days when I can't remember whose problems are whose and then a client comes in and says

"Well I finally did what you asked."

I am frantically trying to remember "what did I tell them?"

But I will smile and say "Oh wow, I can't believe it. Tell me everything".

I'm pretending to remember..almost pretending to care. (But I do care..it's just..)

Pretending. Just like a legit whore.

As a way to deal with these uncomfortable feelings I got myself some office decor from IKEA. It was completely the right choice.

I think it's healing for both myself and the clients to see quirky knickknacks placed next to weird European lamps. 

If any brothels read (and you know they must) think about taking my advice and sprucing up those sad little houses of ill repute with some weird stuff from ikea. Take that place from whorehouse to euro trash utopia.

That is all.

Lori Ann

* Readers beware- I've given up sugar and caffeine again and I'm sure it is reflected in my posts!*

No one told me about her

Ellie and I saw a giant turtle named Percy today. And had some fruit by the foot.

That is all.

Lori Ann

A sweet old fashioned notion

It's Valentines Day, people.

You know what that means!!!

It's time for a Random Spinster Chronicles Update

This one will be the LOVE edition!!

Random Update # 1

I am still in love with this cat.

 She is so crazy.

Evil, even.

 But it doesn't get any cuter than the Sugar Cookie.

Random Update # 2

I am in love with spying on other people's offices and trying to make mine more cozy.

 Everyone else's office screams "Come and tell me your deepest secrets in this warm and welcoming refuge".

 My office screams " Any person who could or would combine discount Halloween themed crafts with glitter and a Spanish Bible cannot be trusted- walk slowly away"

 *Sigh*..

There is still no art on the wall. I can't find any that I deem therapisty- enough.

 Inspiring, soothing, and original- that shouldn't be so difficult, right?

For right now, my clients can stare at my book shelf.
(and yes, that is a Harry Potter quote on the second level. Fairly bad ass, eh?)

Random Update # 3

 

First Philly and then NYC.

I am in love with showing these kids our amazing East Coast...where to next????

Random Update # 4

I am in love with my job- it challenges me in ways I never thought it would.

 For example- I am thinking of hanging a handmade sign next to my state licensure that says "Lori Hinsdale- unlicensed sexologist".

I counsel people on their sex lives daily.

 Sex lives, lack thereof, dysfunction, fetish, and on and on...

 Good thing I am speaking from such a place of authority and knowledge!!

I wish you all the most thrilling of Valentines Days!

Lori Ann