Love her and she'll bring you luck

I walked two miles before coming to work today. I might walk a few more when I get home.

Now I am having fresh picked PA strawberries, raspberry yogurt, and a icy cold dasani water for lunch.

And I feel inspired.

I used to think that people who talked about how great a healthy lifestyle was were just lying to themselves to mask the deep seated depression that must accompany a life without diet coke and donuts.

And while I did stop to smell the donuts that medical records always has out (I swear it's a non stop party back there..and yes, the donuts did smell like happiness) I was able to walk away.

I don't know if this is an epiphany or just the ramblings of someone who is sugar deprived.

I feel great. And I don't (except during very stressful moments or late night tv watching binges) miss the soda and the junk. It never really made me happy.

Anyway, I vow to make this the last healthy eating/ lifestyle post for a while. We will be moving on and tackling my other vices!!

Lori Ann

p.s.- Thanks to 'the Voice' I am once again obsessed with this song.

I want you to stay

Sour Krout. Because no post is complete without a cat picture

Random Life Updates

I have to see my doctor in about 30 days. And I want to impress him with my weight loss.So; starting today, I am instituting a 30 lbs in 30 days challenge. I was at the gym before 6 am this morning. It's getting weird in my world, yo.

(On a side note: I would be happy with 5 lbs in 30 days. I am just trying to set impossible goals so I can justify crashing on day 7 and binging on cookie dough)

On what I am sure is a completely unrelated note, I am almost falling asleep in my chair. I'm eating fat free tuna salad on crackers to try and wake myself up. It's not working.

It's the 150 anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg next month. Guess who is going to see some reenactments?? WE ARE! (By "we" I mean me, Danielle, and my evil nieces and nephews!) We are getting a hotel with a pool, doing the family friendly activities they have, showing the kids some monuments, and immersing my four favorite young Americans in our amazing PA history.

Tonight is my first night running a teen Asperger's social skills support group. There are going to be lollipops and scavenger hunts.

On what I am sure is a completely unrelated side note, it's weird how I run my sessions and groups kind of like church activities or Sunday School. I've only had 2 clients that have turned out to be LDS and they recognized me as a Mormon almost immediately. Weird, eh?

This tuna was not a good idea.

Protein, Lori. Protein.

Why can't they make protein that tastes like cookie dough? Or pringles? Or gummi bears? Come on, people. Let's make this happen.

Lori Ann

But it's over now

Today's topic:

My ever evolving definition of 

romance.

Ironically, for someone who is a spinster, romance has always been a big part of my life.

I've been reading romance novels since the age of 9. I've always loved romantic movies and I am obsessed with shows like "My Fair Wedding" and "Say Yes to the Dress". I watch surprise proposals on youtube and adore the stories of Wallis Simpson and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. 

I figured that it was pretty much a given that one day a man would either abdicate his throne for me or could at least become the subject of a lot of stream of consciousness poetry I would one day be famous for. 

 However, my definition and ideas about romance have undergone a transformation recently.

Here's why:

1. I've stopped reading trashy novels. Well, I kind of went from straight to gay romance novels. But then I realized that they are all boring. So, I'm off all romance novels now and I feel like I'm coming out of a little bit of a fog. I've slowly begun to realize that I am not going to be proposed to by a Greek billionaire or marry a rugged, brooding cowboy. And that I really probably wouldn't want to if I got a chance. (unless either of them was willing to live in the PA countryside and/or they have really great health benefits)

2. I am a  marriage counselor. Nothing will change your perception of happily ever after quicker than mediating couples as they scream things like "My mother tried to warn me, but did I listen? No!" and " I know you've had 3 kids but shouldn't you be kind of back in shape by now?"

So..in summary, my ideas about romance until recently were kind of like this..

And now they are more like this (how she chose Blane after this is beyond me)

Bottom line: If a man sings you Otis Redding, you hold on to him like grim death. I think we've all learned something here today.

Lori Ann

If your train's on time

 

A Rant About My Work

(aka I'm more like my dad than I realized)

I work for a non profit. It's a good company. I don't want to say anything negative about it (because this is the Internet, y'all). But I am still frustrated by my work at times.

I didn't become a therapist because it was my driving passion to help people overcome their mental health struggles.

I didn't become a therapist because I have a deep interest in the working of the human brain.

I became a therapist more by happenstance, a strange detour to North Carolina, and how much it costs to take the GRE.

So, I wouldn't call what I do my calling in life. But I still really really want to do a good job.

 (that's the part where I'm like my dad. He's of the old school "give people quality for their money" type philosophy)

When you get to know people and they tell you things they've never said to anyone else and when they've cried and broken down and asked YOU for help, you know that you have to help them. You can't leave them in the office at 5 pm and pick them back up the next morning at 9.

I dream about my clients every night. Every single one.

And that's what frustrates me so much about my work.

I can't give these people the time, mental energy, and effort that each one of them deserves.

I'm drowning in paperwork and by the time I come up for air, it's time for another session. With someone whose file I haven't had a chance to even look at since their last appointment.

I haven't had time to research resources for them or even think about what I am going to say.

I think I could make the time and give these clients what they really deserve but it would require me to give up my own life.

 I couldn't come home and watch the news with my parents. Or lay out on the soccer field, screaming "go Elly, go!". Or workout with Tory.

I'd have to come in early and leave late every day to give them what I honestly believe they deserve and stay on top of my paperwork as well.

I've gone down that road before in North Carolina. I got so burnt out that I didn't care about anything anymore.

I guess there isn't any easy answer here.

My company is a good company and I know they mean well but they have regulations to follow and they need to get more and more people in the door to pay the bills.

My clients are good people who are understanding and seem happy (for the most part) with the limited help I can offer.

I feel like I am a good person who wants to do the right thing but isn't always sure what that is. 

Maybe this is a first world problem. And maybe since I'm a full time working woman and spinster most people that read this (hey Mom!) won't be able to relate. I don't know.

It's just what I wanted to say today.

Lori Ann

You are my candy

This is my life. Random soccer nights and mildly depressed cats. It doesn't get much more legit than that.

Sugar, Sugar.

My sister calls these two the peanut butter and jelly. They are kind of soccer rock stars!

Lori Ann

You stole my heart

What I love about my life right now:

Singing "We are never EVER EVER getting back together...like ever" with Miss Elly Monroe. 

The notorious Monroe sisters

Seeing the Elly Bean and Jack-Jack give their testimonies today.

Listening to "Just give me a reason" by Pink and that guy from Fun. I am in love with his voice. He is my new Adam Levine.

Organizing my life. I think I do it to combat the seasonal affective disorder that hits me every summer. It is sooo hot here and that makes me angry and sad. 3 1/2 months until fall.

Speaking of which, I love PA summer thunderstorms. They are like no other rain I've ever experienced. 

I love that as I lose weight I am sleeping less and less. I think I average about 6-7 hours a day. Much better than 9-10. I want to be awake for my life.

Another side effect is the increased energy and focus. Which is odd because I am completely off caffeine and sugar but I am more focused and energized than ever. Anyway, I am starting to kind of dust off my life ambition list and I am thinking more and more that there is nothing I can't do if I want it enough. 

Being off facebook. It kind of reminds me of my relationship with caffeine. I didn't think I'd be able to get by without it, but ultimately it's kind of draining. 

Watching my sister's kids sporting events. They are still at an age where they get excited when they make a good play or their team wins. Something about their big smiles and excitement is so magical to me. 

Lori Ann

Run,run,run,run,run,run,run,run,run,run,run away

More health and fitness life updates! (yes! You know are you freakishly excited!)

Is masochism a pre-req for personal trainers, do you think? Or does it just develop over time within the profession? Because my personal trainer is EVIL and enjoys seeing me SUFFER. (yes, all caps was called for in both of those).Today; after every painful thing, he would say "see? that was cake" and then say "Don't worry, we've only got 3 sets left".

Today I did dumbbells and that thing where you push the bar with weights when you are laying on your back. Like legit gym stuff.

Evil. Evil. Evil.

On a positive note, I've lost a total of 109 lbs from my all time high, 20 something just since I've been going to the gym.I think I am developing what they call a 'transfer addiction'. I've given up sugar and caffeine and am now obsessed with working out. This is an addiction I can live with!

I am also obsessed with "the voice". It makes me mad when people get angry when 'the really good singers' are eliminated. Listen, I don't care if you are a vocal powerhouse. I want to feel a sense of connection and some entertainment, people. Also, once you wear feathers, I can't vote for you anymore.

That was kind of random.

This whole post is random. Maybe because I am writing it superfast in between my 8 APPOINTMENTS today.

I am back in that crazy phase where I am overbooking and oh my gosh I wish it were Friday at 5 pm already.

So I could be done for the week and go work out:)

Lori Ann