Has taken it's toll on me

Ok, so I made the mistake of going on Goodreads to find a new book to read.

You know how they do those lists?

Like "spy novels with a villain who is female" and " Classics with a twist" or whatever.

I made the mistake of looking under "Novels about forbidden love".

Which is why I am crying in my office right now.

All of my faithful readers (hey Eri and Danielle!) know that I have kind of a thing for forbidden love stories.

 I thinks it's because I have the emotional maturity of a 14 year old.

This interest in forbidden love stories has led me down some strange paths.

 Diana Palmer novels.

 Amish novels.

 Gay romance novels.

 Gay Amish romance novels.

Basically any combination of two people who society says shouldn't be together- I've read a romance novel about them.

But Forbidden took it to a whole other level.

I downloaded it out of a kind of fascinated horror.

Lochie and Maya are...siblings.

 And while I did not approve of their relationship, that didn't stop me from being utterly traumatized by this book. 

So, in conclusion, I'm not trying to start a dialogue on this blog about incest or whatever.

 I literally keep mumbling, "gross, gross, gross" under my breath...which I should probably stop doing before my next client.

I don't think anyone wants a therapist who keeps muttering 'gross' to everything they say

Anyway...

I'm just saying..

beware the Goodreads Forbidden Love list.

Be. Ware.

Lori Ann

And fall in love with strangers

You guys, it's only 3 days away from OFFICIAL fall!!!!
 (the equinox, yo) 

Where we will once again attempt to make an egg stand on end, but that's not important now.

What is important is... 

FALL GOALS 2013!!

(everything I want to do before Thanksgiving Day)

1. Get fall in PA pictures of my sister's kids

2. Get a bike and ride it to and from church until it gets too cold

3. Make low fat soup in a pumpkin

4. Watch Disney's Halloween treat while drinking apple cider

5. Make my own apple cider

6. Dress up for Halloween

7. Run a 5k (already signed up for Oct. 5th!!)

8. Sleep under the stars on Halloween night

(I've had this on my bucket list for years!)

9. Learn to make at least 2 new fall themed crafts

10. Find and explore a place in PA that I've never been

(preferably an Amish place!)

Ok, people. Let the fall magic begin!!

Lori Ann

I feel so far from where I've been

Today was one of those days where fate conspired against me. 

I set my alarm for 6 am so I could get up, go walking, and go buy healthy snacks  for the week.

So, of course it was raining (like cold, depressing rain) when I walked out the door.

And my bedroom smells like applepumpkin (that's an actual scent) candles and Sugar was sleeping on my bed and it looked so warm and comfortable.

So, guess who wore their dad's ugly yellow rain coat and walked three miles in the rain?

That would be me.

Also, my grand total of weight loss is now 133 lbs.

For me, being healthy is about making choices every single day.

 And not letting the fact that it's Monday, or it's raining, or your bed has never looked so comfortable stand in your way.

Lori Ann

when you're missing home

Ok, so today I made mini pumpkin cheesecakes. 

Which is a little bizarre as I despise pumpkin flavored things.

It just makes me happy to bake them in the fall:) 

Here is your step by step tutorial in making not exactly homemade mini pumpkin cheesecake:) 

Step 1: Obtain the mix

 Step 2: Look on the back for the alternative recipe

 Step 3: Mix the crust and press into individual cupcake tins and a pie pan.

 Get into a fight with your dad about the best way to put the crust in the cupcake tins.

 Also, keep your cat away from pans.

 Step 4: Mix up the pumpkin stuff in the kitchenaid.

 Ignore comments such as "is it supposed to look like that?" and "did you follow the recipe?"

 Step 5: Get someone who knows how to pour level to pour the cheesecake filling over the crust

 Step 6: Bake 40 minutes and then add topping and bake 5 more minutes.

Get rid of stuff you don't like in the fridge to make room for it to chill.

Goodbye, broccoli.

 Step 7:  Wonder why it doesn't look like the one on the box??? ")

You're welcome, people. 

Here are a few other random photos to make your Sunday even more thrilling!!

 My dad and sister got me this sparkling Eiffel Tower from Paris.

It is magical.

 My hair is getting to a weird place.

Also, I still need to dye it brown/black.

 I always go darker in the fall.

 This little thing is so sweet.

 Dad versus his true protege.

 I'm not sure who I am more scared for in this picture.

 Eagles football with my parents.

 I asked my mom to "hold Sugar up in triumph".

 My dad kept saying "will you stop harassing that cat?"

My mother has never been a big Eagles fan.

Until she watched Silver Linings Playbook.

These are the crabby patties she made in tribute to that evil, evil film. 

I feel inspired by life again, people.

 Either I am spiraling into a manic phase or it's fall in PA, baby!

Lori Ann

I'm still awake

One of my clients gave me a "Just for Today" bookmark.

It says this:

I really like the first section. The "I can do something for 12 hours.." thing.

I think I will repeat that to myself to get through work today.

I'm so tired.

In 8 hours and 21 minutes I will be done.

 I can go home, put on my pajamas, watch the news and then spend the rest of the night under the covers, re-reading the Deathly Hallows.

And then we will have a fall weather, beautiful weekend.

 I feel like maybe baking something and making a fall craft and staying up to see the stars.

Sounds magical.

8 hours and 20 minutes.

Lori Ann

Hang on to a dream

I was telling my sister's kids about 9/11 again last week.

We've told them stories about it since they were young.

This year we saw the 9/11 memorial in NYC.

They wandered, fairly disinterested, around the memorial-

 stopping to listen to their mom and I explain what all the names meant.

 After a few minutes they ran out without a backward glance when we told them we could leave and go get some hot chocolate.

And this week, they watched the videos on Youtube with the same fascinated disbelief I see on their faces when they watch a slightly scary episode of Scooby Doo.

"That's not real is it, Aunt Lori? There's no such thing as monsters"

I hope that; as young Americans, they learn about 9/11 and have increased appreciation for their home land and the sacrifices made by others-

But I also hope it always stays a little unreal for them.

I hope they never have a morning like we all did on 9/11/01.

A morning where you watch people jump out of windows and see planes crashing into buildings and you feel sick and numb and keep thinking

"How is this my country? How is this real?"

I was far from my family on 9/11- well, if you call Illinois far.

 As a missionary who couldn't call home except twice a year, it felt a lot farther than it actually was.

But I called home that day.

I just wanted to hear my dad's voice say

 "It's alright, kid. We're going to get these guys and everything is going to be alright".

But even after I talked to my dad, I still felt sick and lost.

He couldn't make everything ok.

Nothing would ever be OK again.

 Not like it had been before that day.

I've said this before and it never fails to come across as a little melodramatic but I have always felt that my childhood ended on that day.

I remember standing at this gas station, seeing the Burger King flag already at half mast, and it felt like the world was spinning around me.

Like one of those scenes from a movie where the camera does a panoramic view.

I think I'll remember that moment for the rest of my life.

God bless all of those who lost someone on 9/11.

 God bless all of the first responders who sacrificed their lives.

 God bless all of those who continue to serve.

 And please, God bless America. 

Lori Ann

And you let her go

Today's post will be completely random.

 Because I feel a little crazy right now.

The song "Midnight Train to Georgia" always makes me feel a little guilty and sad.

The above comment was not a passive aggressive solicitation for sympathy or interest about why that song makes me feels sad- I just wanted to say it.

I had 12 voice mails and 50 emails waiting for me when I got back to work today.

My whole body hurts because I walked 2 miles and then worked out with Tory who seemed to be feeling extra evil today.

It looks like we just got a somewhat shady Get out of Syria free card from the Russians.

 I'm feeling a little Cold War-esque right now, comrades.

I am working on my Goals for 34.

 I will be 34 in about 4 weeks and I want awesome goals this year.

 Because when I turn 35 I plan to have a fancy dress party and adopt an almost grown child.

 So 34 is pretty much the last year of my not so much youth.

After swearing off gay romance novels, I bought one called "My cowboy heart".

 I knew it was going to be good when it was revealed that one of the main character's name was Speed.

 And I was right about it being good.

 Because they got a ranch and adopted a three legged dog and set the snow on fire on Valentines Day.

Literally.

Anyway, 

I can't stop listening to "Let her go" by Passenger.

 It's one of those songs you hear on the radio for the first time and 5 minutes later you are buying it on itunes. 

And not to be cryptic but I think I like it because I've let things go that I should have held onto.

 Things I still see when I close my eyes. 

This blog is going to an emo place that I am not ok with.

Lori Ann