And still I dream

It's been seven years since I started this blog. 

Weird. 

I usually make a whole list of birthday goals for every new year and post them here but really, my only goal is to blog more. 

Its so fun being able to look back on memories that I had forgotten and days long past here on this blog. 

It's my nephew Jack's 14th birthday today! 

The first birthday I recorded of him on this blog was his 7th. 

Holy hannah, time flies by. 

I don't see my nieces and nephews often these days but when I do see Jack-Jack he is always making me laugh. 

He told me recently he was into cosplay but quickly clarified that "cosplay is NOT larp'ing!" 

He is probably going to be in the band next year when he starts HIGH SCHOOL....holy hannah. 

He loves to tell puns and jokes and his most recent one that I love was "The police reported that a psychic midget escaped from a mental hospital. They stated "There is a small meduim at large" :) 

I told him today that he remains, to this day, the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. 

I love Jack-Jack so much. 

He has such a good heart and is genuinely so funny and smart. 

I hope he has the best year of his life! 

(Because 14 tends to be pretty epic for most of us, eh?) 

When (or if) you read this one day, Jack-Jack...

You are incredible. 

You are unique in the best way.

You have always brought so much love and happiness to our family.

My life has been so much brighter since that beautiful October day you were born. 

I am soooo blessed to know you and be your aunt. 

Now...stop growing and getting older, thanks! 

Love always, 

Aunt Lori

She took all I ever had

This post is dedicated to my father. 

(and is being written as a stress outlet...sorry you are my target, old man!)

They say a lot of men, when their daughters marry, look at that daughter and see their little girl. 

My father sees this. 

As he watched me make my LITERALLY dollar store invitations by hand, he indicated that he felt I was too caught up in the party and the fussing and wanted way too much.

I needed to focus on the purpose of all of this. 

The marriage. 

For just one day I wish I could give that man ANY other daughter than the three he has. 

I think I will likely be able to bring this wedding in under 500 dollars total. 

My dress was 25, most of the food will be potluck, my cousins are helping with decor, the cake is a gift, and we are borrowing tables and chairs. 

Some people's invitations are more than my whole wedding will be. 

And I just wish he could live in that reality for a day. 

Back to your regularly scheduling blogging about cats and centerpieces later this week. 

Sincerely,

Lori

A father's worst nightmare aka bridezilla of the year! 

From the moment that we met

I have been meaning to post about my fiance. 

Here you go, Spinster Chronicles! 

5 Reasons I am marrying RICH!!

5. Rich is such a nice guy. He is genuinely kind, thoughtful and tells me EVERY SINGLE DAY that I am beautiful. I feel a little bad because I tend to be a little mean and I don't think he realizes that about me :) 

4. He is a convert and wants to learn more and more about the Gospel. I am excited to help Rich build his Gospel knowledge and to keep each other strong in the church. 

3. He will be a good dad. We are both older and who knows if we will be able to have kids. But we are hoping to have one or two and I am SO EXCITED to have him as their dad. 

2. He is a hard worker. Unlike me (I tend to get bored and change jobs every few years) he has worked for the same company for 14 years. He loves his job and is there every single day. 

1. He will always be my better half. They say you should marry someone who makes you the best version of yourself. I know Rich will make me kinder, hard working, more devout, and..in the long run, happier. 

47 days until I am Mrs. Walker. 

I can hardly wait. 

Lori Ann 

To drag the past out into the light

Random Thoughts on a Wednesday

I have been going through my blog and editing and deleting posts and getting it cleaned up and ready to be printed.

Not that I am done blogging.

Fear not!

But I do want to print out the Spinster Years.

Maybe for Christmas.

Anyway, its so funny to remember the last 7 years and the little stories I forgot and pictures I haven't looked at in years. 

I would say a few common themes have emerged in this blog over the last 7 years.

 I tend to do best with "Random Thought" posts. 

My mind resists themed or one subject posts. 

I am 100% the HAPPIEST in Fall. 

Every single fall, my posts become filled with happiness and excitement and a million pictures and goals and just life. 

For every amazing fall, almost every summer is clearly depressing. 

My posts are apathetic and pointless. 

I say "Is summer over yet?" at the end of practically every post.

 I write like someone with a lot of underlying, barely concealed insecurities. 

Frequently apologizing for rambling posts, seeking laughs or approval in blog tributes and weird immature jokes. 

On a related note...

The two biggest changes since the beginning of this blog are:

 increased self confidence 

and 

 falling out of the aunt role I loved so much. 

Maybe it's been the last year. 

Almost dying.

Losing Lily Jane. 

Finding Rich.

Accepting certain things I could never accept before.

I am stronger and be calm and confident about who I am as a person than I have ever been. 

And, as much as I love being 'Aunt Lori' I respect that my sister had to set boundaries for herself and do what she thought was best for her children.

I miss them though. 

60 days until the wedding!!

Lori Ann

Surprise !!

hacked by the old man, muha ha ha ha ha!!! More of Oreo's mad ramblings, I see!

We'll never be royals

Fall is almost here.

The kind of almost that is completely tormenting!

You start to think..."Oh, its nice and breezy..here comes fall" and then the next day is like a sauna 

and you literally lay on the ground in despair.

(or someone does...not me..nope)

About 61 days until my wedding. 

My sister Erin told me that marriage takes "really hard work and a lot of manipulation"   

I am working on breaking Rich down and rebuilding him into the perfect husband. 

I like to send him passive aggressive text messages. 

Like "Ok"

Answering a text someone sends you with just the word "ok" is ALWAYS passive aggressive :) 

ANYWAY...

There are days when I think of not getting married.

I am kind of used to this festive, spinster life. 

I don't like compromise.

I don't like to answer to anyone. 

I don't like men.

But then I think...

"Eh, let's do this!!" 

The next post I will write about him and my wedding and life.

So much change in such a short time. 

Life is strange that way. 

Lori Ann

Far beyond my reach

I always tell my clients that if you want change in your life, 90% of what you need is the desire for change. 

The other 10% is just logistics. 

I am kind of at a crossroads in my life and I want to start a new chapter.

 I like the idea of turning the page and having a clean, blank page to write the next part of my life story. 

It's not that I have been miserable or anything. 

But I will say that I have been stagnant in the last few years.

 And I am not happy stagnating. 

I am comfortable, just not happy. 

So, here's to the next chapter of life- I hope its filled with growth and goals accomplished and crazy fun adventures and whatever else God might have in store for me. 

69 days until the wedding, people. 

I honestly have done nothing and don't plan to until the beginning of October. 

I work better under pressure :) 

Lori Ann