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It's my sister's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Danielley-belly...prepare for the birthday tribute of a lifetime!!

I present

Everything you need to know about Danielle "Staples Incident" Monroe!

1. She begged and begged Jack to name one of her daughters Marilyn..but no. She tried, people. We've got to give her credit for that.

2. She has never ONCE threatened her children in a public setting. Especially never in a home office store. Nope. Never.

3. Danielle believes in karma, fate, and you reap what you sow. All of that. And, oh yeah, astrology, wee jee boards, voodoo, palm reading, and vigilante justice. And that the moon landing was staged. And that Tupac isnt really dead.

4. Danielle once told me that her fondest dream was to one day dance, dressed as a giant lobster, at every rest stop in the state of Maryland.

5. Once Danielle told me that sometimes she is a little bit country, sometimes a little rock and roll. Then, when I laughed at her, she slashed my tires.

6. Danielle told me that she only has one rule. That rule is that she will NEVER EVER turn herself in to the police for driving 3 days on an expired license. Then she laughed and said "I guess some rules are meant to be broken"

7. Danielle is a HUGE twilight fan. She is actually Team Charlie though, as she loves a man in uniform.

8. Danielle once ran naked down a hotel hallway where we were all staying with our aunt and cousins. The emotional scars still haven't healed.

9. Danielle loves nothing more than quoting movies. More than once she has accused me of 'using up all the glue on purpose' and then she asked me "how does one get involved in the custodial arts?" and whenever I've eaten at her house, she says"You don't spell it, you eat it". So strange.

10. Danielle is amazing. She is my Moses. She is smart, kind, and the hardest worker I've ever met. She is original, funny, the best mom, and a great friend.

I could not have asked for a better sister or friend.

Enjoy your day, beast and I will see you next week!!!

Lori Ann

The Great Laundromat Showdown: Part 2

Well..it's that time again.

Time to evaluate Rockingham County's finest laundromat experiences!

First, take a moment to admire my manifesto..which I hung up in another laundromat!

Now..on to the laundromat.

This laundromat had no name that I could find.

 It is famous, however, for advertising HOT WATER on its front window.

Most people call it the "we have hot water" laundromat.

I can't tell you the unbelievable ambiance of this laundromat.

 I felt like I was at a spa!

 It had bright, colorful walls.

 No threatening signs, high quality washers and dryers,

 SENSOR toilet flushers, a tv, vending machines, video games, and everything else your heart could ever desire.

 It is going to be really difficult for any other laundromat to stack up to this one.

I feel like, no matter where I go, a part of me will always be with this laundromat.

It's my oasis, my safe haven, my calm from the storm.

 Yes, I feel that strongly about this laundromat.

Also, I'm off my psych meds.

 So, yeah..
(just kidding..if I ever got psych meds, I would never go off of them!)

Lori Ann

p.s.- My clients and I have been making movies with the clay creatures we created in arts and crafts..here's a little preview. I'm being a little modest here, but this is PURE GENIUS!

p.p.s.- My sister Danielle said "what was that?" after viewing this..I realize you might need a little background. My clients and I are doing "The Real World: Reidsville". All of our clay creatures live together in a trailer and we are recording their lives...when it stops being polite, and starts getting real. Jim is a vengeful red snowman with horns and no arms or legs, and Billy is a shirtless guy with red eyes and dreads..now that you have a little backstory..enjoy!

Have I told you, lately

I had a vision for this post.

 Just this picture and single line.

 A quote about sisters.

Something touching, but not too sappy.

 Because we aren't the sappy type, me and my sisters.

 Nothing fit.

 So, I guess that just leaves me with...

What happened next (me getting the flowers) would go down in Hinsdale family folklore for years to come...

I will NEVER forget this.

Thank you.

Lori Ann PB & J

She flickers and she fades

I read this article tonight.

It's titled "I bad mouthed my mother in law online and she found out"

I thought it was really interesting because it addresses that question of 'what is ok to blog?'

I don't know about you guys, but there is a lot of stuff that I want to blog that I don't. What stops me?

Fear of hurting people's feelings

Fear of the topic itself

Feeling like its not a relatable topic, or its too serious, or fear of looking like I'm soliciting pity comments...you know, like those people who use their facebook status for sympathy "Jen is so sad and alone" and you HAVE to write something supportive?

I dont want to be THAT blogger.

I generally prefer to keep things light, festive, and surface.

I have a journal for my ranting and depressed days and my plots to get even with my sisters:)

However, I do think there is something liberating in being real on your blog.

With that said, I am now gong to reveal 2 things that I would not normally write on this blog.

*deep breath*

# 1-Whenever I have to do something hard (for me)- like move furniture, kill a spider, figure out my own car maintenance, figure out how to file my taxes, shovel snow, etc..I repeat a phrase in my head "Remember Lori, there is no white knight that is going to come and rescue you. You have to do this"

# 2-My brother hates me. I'm not sure how we got to this place. The last time I went home to visit (he lives with my parents), he wrote this on my facebook wall.

Yo Lorzo, this is your brother Dave jr. when you come up this weekend, I'm warning you, don't you dare start in. None of this quit acting like the martyr. I am dead serious. I'm getting really tired of that. I'm getting tired of your yelling and shouting at me. I'm tired of you acting like Dad. I'm not putting up with anything while I'm here and none of your little idiosyncrasies. whenever you do that, it creates contention and remember what Jesus said about contention. I want us all to get along while we are all here. I put with nonsense and madness at work and I'm not putting up with it at home.

Do I make myself clear?

I saved this on my computer and sometimes I read it and it still makes me cry.

(To be fair to my brother there is a lot more to the story of our relationship than this comment. I haven't always been the nicest sister and I didn't post this to make him look bad. He is a great guy)

Do you see what I mean by uncomfortable?

I mean, who really needs to know this stuff about me? And this is just the stuff I dont write about ME..there is more that I dont say about other people.

What about you?? What DONT you blog about??

Lori Ann 

My life is brilliant

I feel like every post I write is a compilation of random thoughts.

And I like it!

So, here we go..Random Thoughts Saturday Evening..

1. It's Harry Potter's Birthday!!!

The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord approaches..born as the 7th month dies...

2. My sisters have been keeping me entertained all week. I have to say, I have the best sisters in the world. Congratulations on your new addition, Eri. You are the most kindhearted person I know. Congratulations on finding me a mini apartment in your future home, Danielle. You are gorgeous, I hope you know that.

3. Almost done Don Quixote..then on to Walden. Good lord, I can't stand Thoreau..brilliant man, but so smug.

4. I have been trying to save money and cooking experimentally. Behold, the results!!

(this photo is blurry on purpose..you dont want to know whats next to the corn)

5. This one is for you, Allison. I drove around the block three times to get a good picture!

Lori Ann 

These are my Confessions: The Sister Edition

I confess:

I have the best sisters in the world.

Thank you so much.

The tributes mean so much to me.

My sister Erin always makes me feel like someone has my back.

My sister Danielle always makes me feel like someone sees my potential.

I have been crying at work all week.

 Like a psycho.

In two weeks I get to see my little muffin babies!!

 I am SO excited!

Someone else came out to me this week.

 That makes 4 people so far.

 Anyone else want to step up to the plate?

I hid in my office for 1/2 hour today and read Don Quixote.

My Dad keeps calling me to tell me about his plans for Paris.

 Apparently he has decided that he and my mom are going to make the trek to Normandy.

 I'm getting nervous that he is going to try and tour the whole country in 3 days!

I never got why the marsh mellows were such an important part of lucky charms.

 But today, I realized their importance to both the taste and textural balance of the Charms.

Lori Ann

J'veux ton amour Et je veux ta revenge

I have no idea what the title of this blog says..it is the only french song lyrics I know(besides Little Mermaid)..thank you, Lady Gaga!

So,

My dad's sixtieth birthday is in two weeks.

 I have been planning and saving for a gift for him.

 It's what I keep referencing when I talk about 'saving for something I can't talk about'.

My parents went to get their passports today and there was some issue with my dad's hospital issued birth certificate
 (I guess it needs to be state issued).

The guy said "Well, this might cause a delay in getting your passport, but you aren't planning on going anywhere soon, right?"

Wrong.

So, my mom had to tell my dad what I was getting him for his birthday.

A trip for him and my mom to Paris and London in November.

I am a little bummed that I missed out on surprising him
(which is what we had planned to do at his birthday in two weeks).

In any case..correct me if I am wrong, but I think I just heard the sound of someone clinching favorite child status.

Top that, siblings!!

Lori Ann