It's titled "I bad mouthed my mother in law online and she found out"
I thought it was really interesting because it addresses that question of 'what is ok to blog?'
I don't know about you guys, but there is a lot of stuff that I want to blog that I don't. What stops me?
Fear of hurting people's feelings
Fear of the topic itself
Feeling like its not a relatable topic, or its too serious, or fear of looking like I'm soliciting pity comments...you know, like those people who use their facebook status for sympathy "Jen is so sad and alone" and you HAVE to write something supportive?
I dont want to be THAT blogger.
I generally prefer to keep things light, festive, and surface.
I have a journal for my ranting and depressed days and my plots to get even with my sisters:)
However, I do think there is something liberating in being real on your blog.
With that said, I am now gong to reveal 2 things that I would not normally write on this blog.
*deep breath*
# 1-Whenever I have to do something hard (for me)- like move furniture, kill a spider, figure out my own car maintenance, figure out how to file my taxes, shovel snow, etc..I repeat a phrase in my head "Remember Lori, there is no white knight that is going to come and rescue you. You have to do this"
# 2-My brother hates me. I'm not sure how we got to this place. The last time I went home to visit (he lives with my parents), he wrote this on my facebook wall.
p with anything while I'm here and none of your little idiosyncrasies. whenever you do that, it creates contention and remember what Jesus said about contention. I want us all to get along while we are all here. I put with nonsense and madness at work and I'm not putting up with it at home.
Do I make myself clear?
I saved this on my computer and sometimes I read it and it still makes me cry.
(To be fair to my brother there is a lot more to the story of our relationship than this comment. I haven't always been the nicest sister and I didn't post this to make him look bad. He is a great guy)
Do you see what I mean by uncomfortable?
I mean, who really needs to know this stuff about me? And this is just the stuff I dont write about ME..there is more that I dont say about other people.
What about you?? What DONT you blog about??
Lori Ann
I don't blog about how hard it is for me that Jeremy doesn't have a job. I cry every day, but there is no way I would ever blog about that. Most of the day is spent worrying where our next meal will come from, if Heavenly Father really is aware of us. I hate the fact that Jeremy had to take a $10/hour job just so we could eat. I hate the fact that I feel all those years of school and difficult sacrifice was a waste because Jeremy didn't get a job in what his major was. I hate the fact that Jeremy will not be able to attend my little brother's wedding because his new job won't let him take any time off when he's in training. I hate the fact that Jeremy will soon be working an evening shift so that he can make more money and work his other part time job just so we can make ends meet. I hate the fact that food is my comfort and so I spend way too much money on food that will be gone in a matter of hours, especially since we don't have the money for a normal meal, let a lone all the junk food I consume. I hate the fact that I feel like a liar every time a friend makes the comment, "I can't believe how well you're handling this. I wouldn't be able to hold myself together like you do." Most of all, I hate that I can't even talk to my best friend about how I feel because he thinks its all his fault and even though he does everything he possibly can to find a job, he feels like I'm mad at him instead of the situation. So I often suffer in silence and eat way more than I should. (I now weigh more than I did at my heaviest during my pregnancy with Clara.) I hate the fact that we've been trying to get pregnant for 2 years and have had 2 miscarriages in those 2 years. Every one of my friends who had a baby when I had Clara have already had a second, and there are a few that are pregnant with a third. I hate that I feel like I have to be grateful we aren't pregnant because we don't have a job, or even insurance to cover the cost of a baby.
ReplyDeleteSorry if that was waaaaaaay too much information, but you asked.....
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ReplyDeleteI am always careful about what I write about my husband. If I think it will embarrass him, I don't do it, or if I think it will embarrass him but I really want to write it, I beg for him to let me! ;)
ReplyDeleteI also refrain from writing about drama in my neighborhood or family-because they all read my blog (okay, not the whole neighborhood but one can dream, right??)
I don't like writing about politics because it just ends up feeling like contention to me-so I never talk about them at all, really!
I'm sorry about you and your brother, I hope things can totally heal eventually and remember-anything a knight in shining armor can do, you can do better! Plus, they all must be dumbasses cause I think you are freakin awesome!
That is all.
wow. Thank you guys for being honest. It's not easy to write this stuff, right? I went to bed second guessing this post and now I am glad that I wrote it. I would love to have either one of you guest post on my blog about these issues or whatever you want to talk about..if you want a safe, mostly anonymous place to post your thoughts and feelings. I think there is a lot of power and healing in being honest and talking about "the unspoken things".
ReplyDeleteOh, Sarah, I was crying reading your comment. I hate that you are going through all of that. (Well, it is because you are so righteous that you have to be tested like Job, but it still is terrible. If you maintained mediocre spirituality...) All half joking aside, I hope the sunshine comes soon.
ReplyDeleteLori, I have been David's mortal enemy for years. The people that try to help him the most usually get the worst treatment from him because he thinks they are trying to control him. Just read my blog tributes to you!
Sarah thank you for your refreshing honesty, I always read your blog but never knew all that was going on. I really believe you and Jeremy must be meant for great things and success to be tested like this. Your faith is something that inspires others and myself and ask my sisters that is saying ALOT. I will keep you in my prayers that your life will bring all the good things you and your family deserve. Lor, I really admire the blog you posted..I think honesty in the right form is refreshing and your blog was just that a glimpse into your true world.But just know while Junior may go up and down with you..Danielle and I have always got your back!
ReplyDeleteIn the spirit of honesty, since everyone else shared..I will too. I hate being 31 and not married or even have a prospect. I secretly would love to own a home and spend my days doing stay at home mom things like my friends and sister. I would love to be making peanut and jelly sandwiches and planning play groups and taking my kids on trips to wal-mart. I want to live in a family neighborhood were your kids pay outside at night and you talk to the neighbors about the day. I hate sleeping in my apartment alone so I take sleeping pills every night. Everyday I"m stressed about how I'm going to make ends meet, I even had to take a pay day loan out from one of those shady pay day loan places to make rent a month ago because my job only pays 9.25 an hour and it's not enough to cover everything. Everyday I seriously think of how I can transfer my school credits to Pennsylvania and live my parents so I don't have to do this alone anymore but know that I have to because you have to be strong at some point. I can't stop eating all the time, the only thing that can make me happy is thinking about food and planning out meals. I'm secretly envious of my skinny, pretty friends who get away with so much more in life then I could ever imagine getting away with and it makes some evil part of me want to see things go wrong for them...and that makes me feel horrible.
ReplyDeleteEri- Thanks for being so honest. Isn't it liberating in some way? I think that women, no matter their life circumstances, almost have something like a code of silence, where you have to pretend that everything is ok.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel resentment towards people who dont appreciate what they have. Whether it be a husband, a nice home, supportive parents, etc. Everyone has their own lessons to learn though.
I think the only thing that keeps me from feeling exactly like you is that I get alot from my job. As crazy as it makes me. I think "Ok, I dont have kids, but someone needs to help these kids".
Oh my goodness, what I don't blog about. I try to be real on my blog but not heart wrenching real, humorous real. Like, look at my house it's such a mess or my toddler is psychotic when will it end. I think it's a good thing I was not blogging during my first marriage because that would have been ugly. I have not been real about my ex husband owing over $50,000 in child support and how I fantasize daily about what I could do with that kind of money. If a store is having a contest I fantasize about the prize because even though we are making enough to get by I long with a passion to not have to work outside of the home. I am not honest about the fact that I feel like a failure as a Mormon mother. I feel like I do everything wrong and don't get along with the women in my ward at all. They seem extremely cold and uppity to me. I worry that my husband resents me sometimes because marrying me and taking on three kids meant he could not finish nursing school and now he has a job that he hates. AH!!!! That felt good.
ReplyDeleteHeather, thank you for adding your comment. I've felt that way many times..like I don't stack up. I think we should make this topic a weekly feature- Like "What I DON'T BLOG ABOUT" Mondays or something. I am absolutely intrigued, fascinated, and overwhelmed by everyone's comments and honesty. It is SO powerful and I wish we could have more discussions like this!
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