33

It's my sister's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Danielley-belly...prepare for the birthday tribute of a lifetime!!

I present

Everything you need to know about Danielle "Staples Incident" Monroe!

1. She begged and begged Jack to name one of her daughters Marilyn..but no. She tried, people. We've got to give her credit for that.

2. She has never ONCE threatened her children in a public setting. Especially never in a home office store. Nope. Never.

3. Danielle believes in karma, fate, and you reap what you sow. All of that. And, oh yeah, astrology, wee jee boards, voodoo, palm reading, and vigilante justice. And that the moon landing was staged. And that Tupac isnt really dead.

4. Danielle once told me that her fondest dream was to one day dance, dressed as a giant lobster, at every rest stop in the state of Maryland.

5. Once Danielle told me that sometimes she is a little bit country, sometimes a little rock and roll. Then, when I laughed at her, she slashed my tires.

6. Danielle told me that she only has one rule. That rule is that she will NEVER EVER turn herself in to the police for driving 3 days on an expired license. Then she laughed and said "I guess some rules are meant to be broken"

7. Danielle is a HUGE twilight fan. She is actually Team Charlie though, as she loves a man in uniform.

8. Danielle once ran naked down a hotel hallway where we were all staying with our aunt and cousins. The emotional scars still haven't healed.

9. Danielle loves nothing more than quoting movies. More than once she has accused me of 'using up all the glue on purpose' and then she asked me "how does one get involved in the custodial arts?" and whenever I've eaten at her house, she says"You don't spell it, you eat it". So strange.

10. Danielle is amazing. She is my Moses. She is smart, kind, and the hardest worker I've ever met. She is original, funny, the best mom, and a great friend.

I could not have asked for a better sister or friend.

Enjoy your day, beast and I will see you next week!!!

Lori Ann