Just going to stand there and watch me burn...

My blog title references the fact that I am most likely going to burn in H E double hockey sticks for this post. 

Get ready for crazy, judgemental Lori in full force. 

This is what happened to me today..

 I was in the family dollar, buying coke and other treats.

The girl in front of me in line has just one item, a six pack of nice bottled water.

You know, the smart water type, that is in the fancy bottles.

 I don't buy that for two reasons:

1. I'm not a huge water drinker and

2. I don't want to pay $1.47 per bottle.

So, I overhear that she is paying with her EBT (food stamp) card. 

You guys, I tried SO HARD to shut judgemental Lori down.

 I said "maybe its her one treat to herself" or "maybe its for formula for her baby".

Then I told myself "its none of your business, and its not your place to judge".

I was SO proud of how I was letting go of my knee jerk prejudices and automatic thoughts.

 I made my purchase and headed out the parking lot. 

She was just pulling away as I got out the door. 

You guys, she had 42 inch SPINNING rims.  

Between medicare, FICA, state and federal income taxes, I pay almost $800 per month.  

Is it wrong for me to ask people to pay for their own fancy water, instead of using their money for spinning rims??

Lori Ann

All You Need is Love

This weekend I went home for the Big 3.

No..not Stalin, Churchill, and Roosevelt.

But close. 

My birthday.

Jack's 8th birthday.

Jack's baptism.

It was nice to be home and I loved seeing everyone.

However, on Sunday, I was having a bad day.

 I decided to go home early.

I wanted to stop by my sisters house and say goodbye to her and the kids before leaving. 

As I walked up the steps, I saw a little hand reaching up to open the front door. 

I heard Elly say

"Aunt Lurlee, where have you been? We have been waiting for you!"

I decided to stay for a minute and sat down on the couch and talked to my sister, who, ironically, is MY therapist.
 (both my sisters are)

 (wait, is that ironic? I don't really have a good grasp on irony)

When she got up for a minute, my James came running over to me.

Seeing me looking sad, he grabbed my hand and said

 "Look, Aunt Lolee- we've got Harry Potter clue! You like Harry Potter! Let's play the game!"

It almost made me cry.

My muffin babies were watching out for me. 

 When they invited me to play "rock, paper, scissors' I decided I should probably stay.

I spent the day singing songs in the screened in porch, watching the Sausue dance, naming cabbage patch kids, eating pizza with Uncle David, stealing orange creamsicles, and kicking Danielle and Jack's trash at Settlers. 

To the Monroes
(especially the 'fearsome foursome'- JJEK)

You are my wonderwall.

I love you so much.

See you at Thanksgiving!!

Love,

Aunt Lori 

Run and tell that..

Let me say this.

I do not mean this post to be offensive in any way.

 I am not trying to make fun of or mock anyone at all.

Someone introduced me to these videos today, and I can't stop laughing.

It sounds weird, but the story starts with a woman who was the victim of an attempted sexual assault. (Not funny at all, right?)

Her brother went on the local news with his thoughts, and then someone on youtube made a video about it.

 The first video is the actual news coverage, and the second is the youtube video.

Please don't hate me.

 It was just one of those days and I needed something to make me smile.

Lori Ann

If you had just one question..

I've been waiting for this to happen.

I'm talking about Glee's second season.

Its seems inevitable that as soon as a show becomes popular, it begins to

take itself too seriously.

Tonight's episode of Glee was about religion.

I didn't get what message they were trying to portray.

But there was a message.

Of that I am sure.

Can we please  get back to our festive first season Glee? 

Do we need to weigh it down with heavy political, social, and religious messages thinly disguised behind witty banter and emo end of episode group numbers?

Lori Ann

Book of Mormon stories..

The package is on its way!!

 This is the most important thing it holds!!

Congratulations, Jack! I am so proud of you!!!

Aunt Lori 

Told a few thousand stories..

I was in line behind the sheriff at walmart today.

 I haven't had this kind of brush with celebrity since the '08 Barnes and Noble Chris Daughtry incident!

One week until my birthday.

Oh yeah, its gonna be me and you, 31!

Let's make this the best year ever!!

Eri and I will be the same age again..like we are every year.

We are the same age from October 7th until December 10th.

64 days out of the year. 

I was crying in my car today, listening to Delilah.

She played "i hope you dance" and it made me sad that I am going to miss Jack-Jack's baptism. 

It made me sad that he is grown up enough to get baptized.
Where did my sweet, beautiful baby go?

I am a fan of the show Modern Family.

There has been a big facebook movement for the gay couple on the show to kiss.

 They finally did, and man oh man, was I disappointed.

 When I turn in to my prime time show and I hear there is going to be a gay kiss, I want something a little more exciting than that.

Put some effort into it, guys...seriously.

I have been learning so much about my own psychosis lately.

 It's fascinating.

 Next week I feature a list of topics I want to address with my future therapist!

I am stalled on Moby Dick.

 I think it happened when Ishmael started creating categories of whales, their features and behaviors, etc.

 Herman Melville hijacked my entertaining high seas adventure and turned it into some sort of whale variances encyclopedia.

Yikes.

Spanish is my superpower

. It still gives me a thrill when someone new sees me speaking Spanish.

 I love the look of confusion and the questions "wait...you speak Spanish?" 

I drank an entire thing of simply orange in one evening. 

I've got to get up at 6 am to make brownies.

 How do I get myself in these situations? 

Night, night!

Lori Ann

When you wish upon a star..

I know there is a God.

  I know it.


Here is how I know.

 This morning, when I woke to a cloudy, gray day, I thought to myself:

Oh man, I wish I were a stay at home mom, I would be able to relax, stay in my pjs, eat some ice cream, maybe watch some rainy day movies.

Then I trudged off to work, heaving the heavy sigh of a martyr as I went.

At work, I had crisis after crisis and could not get anything accomplished on my list.

 I couldn't sit down for 1 minute without someone calling my name, I couldn't even go to the bathroom without people hovering around, waiting for me to help them with something.

 Then the light bulb came on.

God had granted my wish.

 I was living the life of a stay at home mom.
(just without the pjs).

 Running around, putting out fires, looking sadly at my "to do" list as I ran by, and not even being able to go to the bathroom in peace.

So, today, I salute you, stay at home moms!

 I don't know how you do it.

I hope you get to spend the evening, in your pjs, eating ice cream and watching classic rainy day movies!
 (because that's what I am going to be doing!)

Lori Ann