Again

Another Random Update..
(because my life has been hecka random lately)

1. My mother got into a fight with her stepmother via FAX today.

That's old school.

Usually when I want to start something up with someone I leave a message on their Facebook or I drive by their house shouting obscenities and/or threats.

But to fight by fax..that's classy.

2. I guess it's true that you can't shove someone out of the closet if they don't want to come out.

 That's a lesson I had to learn the hard way.

3. Sugar is mad.

 As in completely nuts.

 I'm considering having her evaluated by either the vet or a pet psychic.

Whichever is cheaper.

4. I'm having another one of my classic "older ladies" sleepovers tomorrow.

We are going to make lemonade slushies and watch Brokeback Mountain in my theater room.

And maybe get some veggie dogs.

 If we are feeling reckless.

5. I scheduled three people for the same appointment time today.

It was super awkward when they all showed up.

Not for me.

 For them..I was like,

"Hey, figure this out among yourselves.

There's only so much of the Lori magic to go around".

6. Speaking of clients I had the cutest CUTEST 9 year old boy in my office today.

 He was what I imagine an exact combination of my two nephews would look like.

 I wanted to smother him with kisses.

 I literally had to hold myself back.

 Dang professionalism ruins everything.

 "Don't bake the clients brownies, Lori...Don't paint the client's nails, Lori..Don't smother the client's with kisses, Lori...yada, yada, yada.."

Lori Ann

Ueber'm Sternenzelt dort oben!

Tuesday Night Updates

Sugar and I are going through Aunt Erin withdrawal.

 Sugar is missing all of the extra love and attention and I am missing the tater tots and french braids.

 Come back soon, Aunt Erin!!

Aunt Erin's pillow.
 (Sugar will only sleep on it now.)

I got so much done at work today.

Probably because I left my phone in the car.

Strangely enough without books, music, or Internet at my disposal I was able to accomplish quite a bit.

 I wonder what it would be like if I focused for 8 hours every day..you know, like they're paying me for???

I'm back on Facebook.

 Not because I missed it.

 I didn't.

 I just had to keep sending one or two messages to people I only communicate with via Facebook.

Dang, Facebook has gotten boring.

Like legit boring.

I've been a vegetarian for almost 5 full months.

Although the last month or so I have been more of a "junkatarian".

 I need to stop eating white bread and peanut butter sandwiches for every meal.

 It's not OK.

Peanut butter is not my friend.

I think

  my five favorite songs of all time are..

 1. In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel

2. It Came upon a Midnight Clear by MoTab

3. Breathe Me by Sia

4. Scar Tissue by Red Hot Chili Peppers and lastly

 5. Ode to Joy from Beethoven's 9th Symphony

I want to say "Seems Legit" after everything.

 If someone says

"I had a bad day"

 "Seems legit"

or

  "did you hear Jessica got engaged?"

"Seems legit"

or
 "That Thai food made me sick last night"

 "Seems legit"

 See??

 It works in every conversation! 

Oh my gosh, I had a dream last night that I was back in school and I hadn't gone to any of my classes for the first six weeks.

 I felt strange all morning, like I was going to have to bail myself out of a bad situation.

Lori Ann

You are my candy, girl

Your daily Sugar

Cats have it all - admiration, endless sleep, and company only when they want it.

Rod McKuen

Lori Ann

And you say she's just a friend

Random Wednesday Night Update

This is Sugar's life now that Aunt Erin is here.

 Donuts and sunshine, all day long.

 She's gotten even more deranged.

One of my clients taught me a new phrase to use randomly in every day conversation.

 It goes

"People call me a gold digger, but they just want what I have"

Imagine saying that to your grand mom who is calling to check on the kids, or the pizza boy at your door.

It's been making me laugh all week.

 My clients are awesome.

Me, Erin, and Danielle and the girls are having a fancy crafting weekend this weekend.

There will be chocolate, there will be a trip to Texas Roadhouse, there will be in depth psychoanalysis of my mother, and yes, there will be low quality crafting.

Erin keeps telling me that I need to live a more sophisticated life.

 So tonight she made me a veggie chicken pattie, tater tots, and lemonade.

The jokes on you, Erin.

I've been living this kind of sophistication for years now!

There may be karaoke happening tomorrow.

Or white trash bowling.

 I'll keep you posted.

Lori Ann

Mothers Day Post # 5 (one day late)

(My mom with all 8 of her siblings. She is the one in the back right, behind the two boys- wasn't she so pretty?)

Dun, dun, dun...the last of the mothers day posts! 

I couldn't write it yesterday because I was spending the day with my mother.

Dang life gets in the way of my blogging all to often.

This final post is for the most influential woman in my life. 

Terry Ann (Wilson) Hinsdale

My favorite memory of my mom changes with every year.

 I have so many. 

My newest favorite memory of my mom is of her telling me that I am the frosting in her life. 

I don't know why but it makes me so happy to hear that. 

When I was on my mission and I was stuck out in the predominantly Hispanic suburbs of Chicago with some crazy companion I would sing the song "lead kindly light" in my head and think of being home with my mom.

 Her baking bread and drinking diet coke.

Telling me to never trust a man.

Playing Elvis or Duane Eddy on the stereo.

Yelling at my dad to stop feeding the cats so much.

Bringing me room temperature ginger ale when I told her that I was feeling sick.

 Telling me that if whatever life plan I had at the moment didn't work out that she would love to have me come home. 

My Dad was the soul of our house and my childhood.

 He played music so loud the floors shook, taught me to value an education, to appreciate good steak and dry humor.

He shaped how I see the world.

My mom was the heart of our house and my childhood.

 She baked and she worried about us and she taught me how to survive.

 I have never once doubted her love for me

 She makes me feel special when all the world is telling me that I'm not.

Whatever confidence, charisma, and determination I have, I got from her.

 She shaped how I feel about the world. 

Thanks, Mom.

 For everything.

 You are the frosting in my life. 

Love,

your baby,

Lori Ann

p.s.- It took Erin less than 12 hours to win Sugar's allegiance. 12 hours, people. 

Mother's Day Post # 4- The Moses

The last Mother's Day post before I write the one to my actual mother. 

It's fitting that it should be for Danielle.
(aka the Eagle) 

I always tell her that I relentlessly seek her approval.

She tells me that I blame her for everything. 

So, yeah- there are some 'mother-daughter' elements to our relationship.

Anyway, I could write on and on about what an amazing mother Danielle is. 

She really is.

 She sacrifices, she worries, she encourages, she stays up late at night cleaning up the vomit of sick kids.

Her kids are kinda amazing and I think that's why they are hers.

Because she is kinda amazing as a mom.

And the one thing that I love the best about Danielle as a mom is that she gives me the chance to feel like a mom every once in a while.

She lets me take her kids to the park and rile them up.

 She lets me bake with them, no matter how much clean up it involves for her.

She saves the pictures they draw at school for me.

She tells me when the funny and sweet things they say about me. 

If it's the closest to being a mother that I get, it's more than enough.

My favorite Danielle memory is this one night, when we lived in this creepy, run down house in Michigan and our parents were gone for the night, we got really scared.

 Because; as I mentioned in my previous post, we watched WAY too much Unsolved Mysteries.

Anyway, I remember us feeling like there was someone or something in our bedroom and I remember Danielle having me and Eri stand behind her and she ran in and got our stuff.

 Then we said a prayer and went to someone in the ward's house for the rest of the night.

 Best. Older. Sister. Ever.

Happy Mother's Day, Danielle!!

Lori Ann

Mothers Day Post # 3- The Irish Twin

My sister Erin.

(aka the Bumble bee)

I've written many blog tributes to her.

 I've talked about her being my Irish twin, making me laugh, being a good listener. 

There's probably not a lot of things that I haven't already said. 

So, rather than a long tribute I will instead just share (one of) my favorite memories.

When I was about 8
 (making Erin 9 and Danielle 10) 

my mom used to send us to the store; at night, to get her sherbet.

 It was always sherbet.

And always at night.

 Not sure what the obsession was. 

But anyway, it was probably close to 3/4 mile to the store and it was through some woods, down a hill, behind the post office, a dimly lit bank parking lot and through the store's creepy, usually empty parking lot.

It was the 80's then, so maybe my mom felt like we would be safe.

But we didn't feel that way.

 Not  after hours of watching Unsolved Mysteries.
 (Which, now that I think about it, my mother made us watch...Note to self: Address this in therapy)

Each and every time we had to go
(and it was at least weekly)

 we thought that for sure, this time,

we were going to die. 

So, the three of us had a plan.
(Well, they had a plan and they outvoted me)

 In case of kidnapping and/or attempted murder.

 They run for help and leave me, since I was the slowest.

They'd be back with help within the next hour or two:)

So, I quickly began to associate sherbet with death.
(Note to self: Address this in therapy)

And every time we ran to the store, I was slower than them.

 I always fell behind.

Where the kidnappers could get me

But' despite being easily scared herself, every time Erin would stop for me.

She'd say "Come on, Lor" and wait for me to catch up.

Even if it was in the middle of the scary dark parking lot. 

She waited for me.

She didn't forget me.

And now, 20 some years later, it's still the same.

Thanks, Eri.
 (and yes, I will read this to you, holding your hand) :)

Lor

(aka The rabbit)