You just bought your expulsion papers, Nwanda

this does not relate to my post at all

It's 6:45 am, people.

Before even the crack of dawn.

I am currently chatting with Elly about aliens.

I deleted my fitness themed blog because I realized that I can barely keep up with this blog, much less another one.

I can't wait for my psych evaluation. I demand that they diagnose me with ADHD. I can't focus on anything.

Anyway, here is what I have been thinking about lately:

People breaking up. I've heard of some recent devastating breakups and its been so sad. Why can't people live out the lifetime television for women life long passionate love story I have planned for them?

The mid-terms. I've already got 2014 fever! I am going to ask off for the Wednesday after election night because I plan to stay up ALL NIGHT!!

Getting revenge on my coworker who keeps George Clooneying me. I still can't think of even where to begin with that. 

My hair. It's so horrible. I am going to wait until right before my half marathon and then cut it even and dye it blond.

That is all.

Lori Ann

p.s.- More honest blogging to come in the future. When it's not the crack of dawn. 

As we know it

Ok,

So I am going private starting tomorrow. Or tonight. Whenever I get these email addresses ready.

Oh yes. 

Of course, this does put a crimp in my plan to be the next famous single female Mormon blogger in her mid 30's. 

Or should I say the ONLY famous single female Mormon blogger in her mid 30's? 

Sometimes you've got to let a dream die.

 (Just like my dreams of Superbowl glory died last night)

But I digress. 

It seems only fitting that at the end of an era at TSC we discuss my discussion with my nieces and nephews about the Zombie Apocalypse today.

Here is how it went down:

Someone brings up the topic of the Zombie Apocalypse. Can't remember who. It's the kind of thing that often comes up in casual conversation, eh?

Elly states "If there is a Zombie Apocalypse, I'm going to have a knife. And a flame thrower". 

She already scares me. A flame thrower would make it so much worse. 

James does his best Zombie impression, literally falling over into the couch because "that's what a zombie would do, they are dumb".

The zombies would probably run when they saw THIS!

Jack Jack frequently interrupts, accusing his siblings of being "impractical" and "unrealistic" in their weapon choices. 

He states "At best we'd have sniper rifles and maybe a few knives. Or an assault weapon...unless we got access to an Army base".

I love this literal, practical young man so much.

James begins a long and detailed plan of his to have a jet pack, filled with gasoline, which he would then use to suffocate the zombies. 

Jack scoffs, stating "And where are you going to get this limitless gasoline jet pack?"

He then informs us that the only remaining part of a Zombies brain is the part that controls the central nervous system and we should go for that in order to kill the zombie.

orrrrrrrrrrrrr, we could give them some 'ginko baloba' (I'm spelling it phonetically, dammit!) which would restore their brain health and render them no longer zombies. 

None of them are impressed when I ask if we could use the paddle on the zombies or a herd of attack cats. I can see the contempt in their eyes. 

It's clear I'm not going to make it out of the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse alive. I think they have already written me off.

Anyway,

Kind of random. But these are the conversations I want to remember. 

(So I can bring them up in my speech at their wedding receptions!)

Lori Ann

p.s.- Don't tell the others but the one I would actually trust to protect me during a Zombie Apocalypse would be this one. 

Look what she did to the la la loopsie pony.  She is merciless. The zombies don't stand a chance.

Dreams come slow

Jan. 4th, 2014.

It's that magical time again. 

Time for...

The Resolutions Post

I don't like the word resolutions that much. It's a word that has been synonymous with failure for me too many times.

2014 is going to be my year of Reformation.

I have always loved the word Reformation. Well, at least since I learned about the Protestant Reformation. There is a part of me that identifies so strongly with Martin Luther, nailing his 95 Theses to the church door.

Do you think it's his ex Catholic bad boy status that makes him hot? Or his beret?

I am not going to get into the minute details of my personal Reformation here.

It involves things like: getting off facebook, going vegetarian again, early to bed-early to rise, and a hundred other details that have been swimming around in my head. 

The only thing that really needs to be said is that when it's January 4th, 2015 I want to look back and have had fewer regrets, more adventures, a sharper mind, a healthier body, increased honesty, a clearer plan for the future, and I want to have brought myself closer to God. 

This blog falls under the 'be more honest' part of my Reformation.

I am not exceptionally honest on this blog and I'd like to be.

Therefore I am making it private.

I don't want my clients to find it.

I want to have the freedom to say what I am thinking without fear of censure. 

If you want to keep reading, send me your email and I will invite you. 

My email is lorihinsdale@gmail.com.

 Or you can facebook message me if we are facebook friends. 

Also,

 I have started a new blog.

This blog is all about my health goals.

It will be public and I'm afraid it will be a bit boring.

It's about keeping me accountable, honest with myself, and moving forward.

You can find it HERE. 

TSC is buckling in for a crazy 2014. 

I hope you all the best year of your lives.

Lori Ann

2014

Ok, people.

It's January 3rd. This should be my Resolutions post but I can't get started on those until after my pizza and Twilight party at Michele's. 

Michele

Pizza

Twilight

Anyway, so we're going to do something incredibly rare here at the Spinster Chronicles.

 A random thoughts post.

Let's do this dance!

It's a snow day at work today. It almost brought tears to my eyes when I saw on the website that we were closed. Then I literally starting hearing the Ode to Joy in my head. I'm going sledding with my nieces and nephews in about 30 minutes.

Speaking of nieces, yesterday Katy said the two following things to me:

"Don't make me angry or I will start to make weird noises"

and

" I'm not beautiful. I am a cat".

She then informed me that her ears were getting more pointy and she had begun her transition into literally becoming a cat. 

Youngest children...what can you say?

Christmas was legit. Legit crazy. This Christmas veered from the norm in that we interacted with our extended family. Yes, faithful readers- I have extended family. Like 40 cousins on my mom's side. Literally, 40 something I think. My mom is the oldest of 9.

More of the cousins, aunts, uncles, and my grandmother

We normally don't spend that much time together because our moms (my mom and her 4 younger sisters) don't hang out with each other. 

But it was festive to see them. I don't know if I'll ever have anything more than a very casual relationship with them. But I'm ok with that.

Just 8 of the 40 something. We range in age from 37 to 8.

In other random news, I have almost completely fallen off the wagon with my health and fitness goals. And I've got that half marathon coming up. It's time to get back on track. Luckily I haven't gained any weight, I just haven't lost weight in like 6 weeks.

If the park gets cleared today, my goal is to go and walk 10 miles tomorrow. Wish me luck!!

Ok, so I will be back to updating on a close to daily basis soon.

There is a lot to discuss.

My upcoming psychiatric evaluation.

My contentious relationship with my trainer.

My strange, strange hair cut.

My internal debate about going vegetarian again.

Mid term election mania.

It's going to be a wild and crazy 2014.

Lori Ann

Won't another minute buy

So we went to Washington's Crossing on Christmas Day.

 You know, the reenactment of when Washington crossed the Delaware River and surprised the hessian soldiers on Christmas Day?

Usually I go through all of the pictures (I took 227 of them) and then photoshop the best ones and put them on the blog. 

Today, as part of my plan to 'honest blog' I just randomly picked some. 

 Prepare to experience the real, unfiltered version of our Christmas Day historical adventure! 

We spent most of the trip staring at the back of other people's heads- jumping up and down trying to see the boats.

Danielle waited for me because it was a sharp incline down to the river bank. That was so nice:) 

I wish it wasn't so cold. Elly had this amazing side ponytail but we couldn't really see it under her coat hood. 

Danielle and her mini me.

This is the most adorable picture (taken by Jack Jack). I told Danielle that Elly and James look like a miniature version of some sweet old married couple. 

There are about 10 pictures of this la la loopsy pony laying on the ground. It's very avante garde. 

Probably a random attempt of mine to capture the magic of Danielle's kids gathered around her.


So, it was a festive, educational, cold, only mildly rage inducing holiday adventure.

Here is to many more to come.

Lori Ann

p.s.- This blog post title is dedicated to the fact that the Christmas music was FINALLY off the radio and I was totally psyched about it and then Dust in the Wind came on. If you have any hope about life, that song will kill it. 

Willie and the Hand Jive

Erin is home.

I made Danielle's kids pose in weird Christmas pictures for me.

My dad is talking about making steaks.

We're going to the movies later.

and I'm playing Carol of the Bells by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir on repeat track.

NOW it's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas.

Lori Ann

When it starts to snow

An early Friday evening slash first day of my Christmas break Random Life Update

My Christmas vacation has officially begun! I am stuck in a weird place of wanting to both relax and to run around and get stuff done. 

I am starting to refind my love for Chris Christie. And this represents my dilemma- pajamas or an apron.

Even though I have been counting down the hours until my vacation, it's already making me feel anxious to be away from the office for that long.

Tomorrow I am getting the last of my Christmas shopping done. Tomorrow will be a bad day because it's when I start impulse buying stuff. (and by "stuff" I mean "total crap") The closer it gets to Christmas, the more easily I'm swayed by sparkly things and Christmas "deals".

This is the year- and it only took 34 years- that I realized that I don't even really like gifts. I just don't. I'm not sure why I always thought I was such a gift person.

I just added "Watch Twilight buzzed" to my Bucket List. Since I don't drink, I am not sure how I am going to get buzzed. Especially since the use of drugs and such baffles me. (not just why people do it but how- like huffing. What does that even mean?) So, let me know if you know of any word of wisdom friendly natural buzz creators. 

I am going to try and walk 9 miles tomorrow. Wish me luck!! My plan is to walk to my friend Michele's house (which is almost exactly 9 miles away) and then collapse on her porch. Then climb into and break her third tub in less than a week. Then lay on her coach and watch Twilight. Then have her drive me home:) 

I am working on my post for this Sunday- the "Free Therapy" segment I started and then never continued from a few weeks ago. This weeks topic "Subconsciously finding relationships and situations that reinforce our dysfunctional core beliefs" That's cognitive behavioral therapy, son!

Anyway,

Lori Ann