Dre sent me to tick the world off

Some things my nieces and nephews said today that I never want to forget:

"Dear Aunt Lori. It's time to die"

" Aunt Lori, I am going to meditate"

(followed by assuming the universal, crossed legged pose of meditation)

" She will stab you to death with a knife"

(when I explained that their mom (my sister) will hurt me if I ever get in a car accident with them)

"I saw a boomerang in the sky. Which means Jesus is going to come back again"

(when cloud gazing and discussing the meaning of Vitamin D and revelation)

A random mother and son were at the same park/playground as us and the mom kept telling me "Your daughter keeps getting close to my dog" (she wasn't worried about her dog, she just wanted Katy to be safe)

I felt like saying 

"These children have no shoes on in a snowy playground. That should be your first sign that I'm not the mom"

A very sweet older lady gave all of the kids a quarter to get gumballs at the thrift store. They were so excited. 

I told them "When you get a chance to help someone, you've got to take it"

I think they were squabbling over the gumballs at that point and my poignant lesson about service was most likely not even heard :) 

I've got the coolest nieces and nephews on Earth.

Lori Ann

p.s.- A lot of my blog titles are going to be Eminem song lyrics. I listen to WAY too much while walking. 

Call her out by her name

You guys.

You know how I get fixated on different topics?

Like cooking? Or crafting? Or Glee?

This blog is a testament to my crazy obsessions.

My newest obsession is friendship.

My friends are amazing. 

They take my skittles.

The listen to me whine about problems of my own creation.

They ask me when (not IF) I am going to the gym.

They hike around work with me in the freezing cold.

They text me "22" at 6:30 in the morning to countdown to my half marathon.

They have the coolest maiden names I have ever heard.

They tell me that I am sexy. (And let's face it..I kinda am)

They make me laugh in a job that makes me want to cry every single day.

Their names mean Awakening (or daybreak) and Gift from God.

On a uncomfortable religious note, they both really are just that.

Thanks for being the most kick ass friends ever.

Lori Ann 

Fear doesn't shut you down. It wakes you up.

Random Thoughts and Life Update

Dawn continues to be the best person on Earth. 

Weird things happen when I hang out with my sister's kids

I (cough *my dad* cough) made this cake for our maintenance appreciation luncheon today. Everyone loved it! 

I feel like I spend half my life on a treadmill

I have been reading a new book.

Divergent.

 I am always a little behind the trends.

I bought it because I liked the trailer I saw for it when I was at the movies last week.


It's really, really interesting.

I don't know what faction I would be put in.

I love the idea of Abnegation but I think I'm too selfish.

I'm not smart enough for Eurdite and not honest enough for  Candor.

And definitely not brave enough for Dauntless.

I guess I would likely be Amity.

Because I really do desire peace.

Not world peace. Just peace in my life.

If I could choose, I would choose Abnegation.

I've always said that if I wasn't Mormon, I would seriously consider converting to an Amish lifestyle.

I don't know if it's my Puritan heritage or what but I love the idea of dedicating your life to simple pursuits, trying to draw closer to God, and self denial.

Which is odd because I am kind of self indulgent in reality.

I saw my therapist again.

Nothing revolutionary at this appointment.

I wouldn't want to be the therapist of a therapist.

Lori Ann

p.s.- I've been working too much. It's making me feel crazy. 

I close my eyes

Yesterday was a very important day in our family.

It was Elizabeth Mae Monroe's baptism day!!

I just know that when Heavenly Father looks down on Elly, He is SO proud. 

She is beautiful, strong, brilliant, and amazing in every single way. 

She inherited everything that is good and fierce and wonderful about my sister. 

I am the luckiest woman on Earth to be able to call her my niece. 

Her baptism dress from our grandmother. I love that this dress passed from from Ann to Elly. Ann is the oldest daughter, my mom is the oldest daughter, Danielle is the oldest daughter, and now, Elly is the oldest daughter. 

Me and an incredibly reluctant to be in the picture Elly Bean.

I would have featured Elly and her mom but Danielle doesn't like to be in pictures.

Its probably a violation of her contract with Vogue or something like that:) 

Anyway, I can't wait for all the rest of the white dress days in Elly's life.

When she goes to the Temple before her mission.

Her wedding day.

When she has her own babies and dresses them in white for their blessings and baptisms.

Or when she runs around taking pictures on those days for her sister's kids.

I just know that Elly is going to be an awesome aunt as well as mom, missionary, and woman.

When you read this one day, Elly- I want you to know that you are incredible.

Never forget that.

Never forget how much God loves you.

I know God loves me because He brought you into my life and you make me proud and happy every single day.

Love always,

Aunt Lori

For Dawn on the 28th day

So, as I've talked about many times, the only real life long friends I have ever had have been my sisters.

I do have some people- primarily former mission companions- who, if they lived closer, I would demand that we be best friends. They are all (ok, all except 1) incredible women.

My therapist (I LOVE saying that) said I don't have friendship building skills because I moved so much as a kid and had a built in peer group with my siblings.

Also, I admit, I'm a little sociopathic and am not that interested in other people.

So, my point in all of this painful self analysis is that- you guys- I have real friends. Incredible, kind, wonderful, amazing, real friends.

And one of them is named Dawn.

And, as I mentioned in a previous post, she is helping me count down until my half marathon.

So, every day when I walk into my office, I find something like the above.

She has a son, a husband, a busy, busy job and a million other things to do, but she takes the time every day to support me in my weird goals. Who does that?

She is an example to me of true charity.

This whole changing my life and my health and becoming a better person has been the hardest battle of my life. (well, besides surviving Chicago, Ill for 18 months)

Thank you, Dawn.

You don't know how much your support means to me.

Lori Ann

Hit me with your best shot

So, 

I brought Sugar over with me this morning when I came to hang out with my sister's kids. 

I don't know how they do it but my sister's kids make every life situation hilarious. 

Sugar did NOT like their cat Willow and Willow was not a fan of Sugar. 

So, Sugar is in one corner, hissing, and Willow is backing up and James is saying in a

(I kid you not)

boxing ring announcer voice 

'I would not want to be either one of them at this moment. Look at this, folks "

I was just like "who is this kid?" 

Then, my sweet Katy Kat, starts counseling Willow, saying 'Sugar's new here and she's just a kitten.We've got to give her time to look around". 

It was SO precious. 

She reminded me so much of my sister Erin in that moment. 

I know these kid stories are really only of interest to me, but it's my blog, damn it!

And these are the stories I want the kids to read in my blog book when they are 40 and trying to remember the stories of their childhood. 

Lori Ann

Te regalo mi cintura

Ok, here is what has been going on in my exciting, exciting life..

I've been at the gym almost every day. 

Except yesterday, when I decided that the walking paths were probably ok because we had a warm weekend. BUT NO.

I walked a half mile down the path only to be confronted by huge patches of ice. Then I turned around and marched back and went down a different path. Got about 1/4 mile and MORE ICE.

I tried though. It was a triumph of the human spirit. 

Feel free to cite this story when trying to motivate and inspire others.

ha ha. 

I walked 5 miles tonight. I haven't been running as much because it bothers the metal in my left leg. I hate that one fall on the ice at age 20 affects me to this day. 

Whatever. Hopefully as I get more in shape, running won't bother the metal or the break area as much. 

Ahh..the gym. Why do people choose the treadmill RIGHT NEXT TO YOU when there are 12 empty ones? 

I'm experimenting with weird church clothes. Including high heels. (well, high for me) I wore this odd get up last week. Go me!

I trial ran these shoes at church this week. Other than clumping around like a weirdo, I liked it. Now to wear them to work...

Work has been nuts. Literally nuts. Thankfully I have my favorite coworkers who keep me sane and help me not completely hide in my office, rage eating skittles. 

Rage is my new favorite word. Add it before anything and it makes it sound edgy and cool.

For example, "I am going to totally rage eat this bowl of oatmeal".

 See what I mean?

Anyway, speaking of good friends, I learned something kinda awesome today. 

You don't fill in the blank with the F word here with Michele. 

And you will NOT see Dawn next Tuesday. 

Lori Ann

p.s.- You know your life is in a good place when you hear your nephew say (in the middle of Sunday family dinner) "Dirty Gerty is missing an arm". I love you, James Monroe.