I want to be sedated

 Lori Ann's Random Thoughts

The "Its the middle of the day Wednesday and I am already tired and angry" Edition!

Let's do this dance!

1. It was my sister Danielle's birthday yesterday. I've really been working on trying to give people what they want. So, in her honor, there was NO tribute post. I know she despises them.

 (But happy birthday anyway and you are an amazing sister!!)

2. I have over 900 posts on this blog. Holy Hannah..900 posts of insanity.

3. I have not done any training for almost 3 weeks. Because my half marathon is in less than 3 weeks and that's how I roll. I am not motivated until I am in crisis. This one might kill me. If so, remind my mother that I want my ashes spread over the Qmart and a store bought cake brought to my gravesite every year on my birthday. And all other major holidays.

(NO ONE eats the cake. Just leave it there and don't ask any questions) 

4. Speaking of which, I am eating like a college student. Yesterday I had popcorn for lunch. Today I had easy mac. Next on my list...ramen. No. Yuck. Maybe I will be a real adult and pack something tomorrow.

5. I am kind of obsessed with my sister's new cat. I say multiple times a day "I want that ginger cat!"

Look at this thing!

But then I remember that I've got this crazy thing...

My Sugar Cookie!

And I feel happy again.

6. One week until we leave for Michigan! And I can accomplish my bucket list goal of leaving flowers on my dad's parents graves. (as I did not attend either of their funerals). We are going to try and find my Uncle Ray's grave as well.

My next client will be here in 28 minutes.

Peace out, girl scouts!

Lori Ann

(Younger sister of the infamous, now 29 year old Danielle Christian!)

My brother Numsey has forgiven me

It's my brother's birthday today.

Jr was a helpless captive amidst the evil Hinsdale sister triangle

David Allen Hinsdale Jr is 38 years old today.

My mom was telling me that he was born at 3:09 am in Bridgeton Hospital, in Bridgton NJ.

My mom went into labor with him when her mom was driving her to the courthouse to pay off some of my dad's traffic tickets.

She was apparently in labor for a number of hours before they realized he was going to be too big and she then had the first of what would later be 4 c-sections in less than 4 years. 

My mom remembers that first thing my dad said to her upon seeing his first born.

"I hope he can run fast"

"Why?"

"Because he is so ugly he is going to have to" 

I don't think my mom was amused :) 

He inspires me by what a good uncle he is to our nieces and nephews.

David (whom we didn't start calling 'Jr' until his mid twenties) has always been an inspiration to me.

He served 27 months as a missionary for our church.

He graduated college.

He got his black belt in Tykwando.

He has lived on his own in different states.

He is a wonderful uncle.

Sometimes, when I have clients or friends, who talk about how hard life is for them with their mental health issue or how they are owed something (disability benefits or whatever) it kind of makes me angry.

If my brother can accomplish all that he has and be such a good person, there is no one that can't accomplish what they set their mind to.

Thanks for being the best big brother a girl could ask for, Jr.

Your favorite youngest sister

Lumpo

Til eternity passes away

The captain himself

You know when you have that friend that wants to tell you all about their fascinating dream from the night before and you feel like you are slowly dying on the inside?

Yeah, this is going to be just like that. Except written on my blog :) 

We had a member of our church die this past week. 

It's a really tragic story and it's not mine to really tell so I guess the respectful thing to do is not go into details. 

I might have been thinking about this when I feel asleep last night because I dreamed that my dad died. 

It was a really long dream, where I felt like 2 days had passed and I kept thinking "Maybe I will wake up and this won't be real"

I felt such an intense rush of relief when I woke up and realized it WASN'T real. 

I can't imagine my life without my dad- his directions written on paper plates, his knowledge about everything and anything, his ridiculous sense of humor. 

As sad a comparison as it is, this dream gave me some empathy for this girl in our church who lost her husband.

She was probably waking up today hoping it was all a horrible dream too. 

I know God has a plan for our lives and He is there for us, even when it seems like things happen for no reason or when bad things happen to good people. 

Some things are just so sad and hard to understand though. 

Lori Ann

About the South Lands

And now..on with my riveting life story.

The final chapter.

(because everything else is on this blog)

So, I am 28 years old.

Moving from my parents house in PA to Reidsville, North Carolina.

I, as previously mentioned, did not have a job or a place to live.

But I had a dream.

Yuck.

 No, I did not.

 I just said that to seem more inspirational than I am.

ANYWAY

So, I get down South and I think I lasted about 2 nights staying with my sister.

My mom (who came down with me) eventually kicked me out of my sister's house for "holding the whole family hostage with my tooth pain".

Whatever that means.

(I think it means that I was literally whining and crying incessantly about how much my tooth hurt) 

It's the first and last time I've ever been kicked out of anywhere.

I felt so badass in that moment.

By this time I had procured my shady little apartment on Main Street.

Erin came with me to the Walmart at midnight that night and helped me get some essentials- air mattress, dishes, some food- I was also obsessed with getting a toilet bowl cleaner.

 Not sure why in retrospect.

I moved into my apartment and within 2 weeks (with the help of my sister Danielle) found a job.

At Youth Haven.

I will never talk bad about Youth Haven.

Well, actually I will and have on repeated occasions, especially on this blog.

The company itself was amazing.

My coworkers and the work itself- kind of insane.

There was politics and backstabbing and coupe de graces and I had 11 different offices and 4 different jobs over 3 years.

I had a supervisor who made me cry but refused to offer me tissues because "that would presume that he thought my crying was not ok" (he told me never to offer a crying client tissues- a rule I break daily) and then he would show me odd videos on youtube.

I had a coworker who; the week I lost my voice, declared in front of the whole office- "This is the greatest week of my life!"

I learned what 'slow hoeing" means.

 (Don't google it!)

I drove around Rockingham County North Carolina in my red focus (after the Altima died an untimely death) at all hours of the night.

I ate WAY too much fast food.

I got involved in breaking up fights, buying client's clothes, helping people leave their spouses, cat exchanges at midnight, and every other strange thing that occurs in the trenches of social work.

Plus, on top of that, I was spending the most time I ever had with my nieces and nephews.

Those are some of my most cherished memories.

The rubber duck regatta.

The cookie baking parties.

The formation of the Secret Club.

The trips to the park in a torrential downpour.

The game nights.

The time Danielle and I tried to tire her kids out by paying them in m and m's to run around the whole yard.

(Didn't work).

The time I locked Elly in her room for screaming and she ended up using the bathroom in a wicker basket.

I think the word "Chaos" best depicts my life in the South.

And "Fried Food" and "Barely concealed Racism" and "Cut on the Lights" and "The War of Northern Aggression" and "Alcohol at the Company Christmas Party".

I learned alot in my 3 years in the South.

I got my clinical licensure.

I lived on my own in that state for a full year.

I learned how to do things for myself.

Like brave the shady laundry mats.

And get my car fixed.

And how to make bread.

And how to decorate my very own Christmas Tree.

I wouldn't trade that time for anything.

That being said, I won't be moving back to the South.

Nothing but PA feels like home.

So...this is where my life story posts end.

This blog picks up in the middle of my time down South and so you people know the story from there.

Consider yourselves blessed.

Everyone else is going to have to pay for my autobiography and you've all gotten it for free.

Lori Ann

p.s.- I named Sugar after my time in the South. In the South, the word Sugar is kind of interchangeable for "love". :)

Ain't no Sunshine

The Orange Menace. Also known as my niece Katy's new cat. It's name changes every hour. Here are the names it has had so far:

Gizmo

Aysreal

Cutie Pie

Adorable

Elsa

Sweet Potato

Ginger

Spice

Nutmeg

Hobbes

Salty Devil

And I am sure there are others that I don't even know about.

This thing is going to have identity issues.

Erin is leaving today.

Life is so much less fun when Erin leaves. 

She made us all "sit out on the stoop Northeast Philly style" last night.

Where she proceeded to tell more FALSE stories about me sexually harassing her.

 (which doesn't sound funny but is when she says it)

She encouraged our nieces and nephews to steal my dad's cookies.

("They are right next to him and he's sleeping..go get them!")

She ranted about how the news is always on at my parents house.

She discussed how she thinks me and my dad should have our own club.

Called the "socially inappropriate addicts" club.

She cackled over me getting in trouble with my mother.

Which Danielle high fived her over.

"Lor, you never get in trouble. It's nice to see"

While she has been here the following things have happened:

Attempted theft

("where does Dad keep his bolt cutters?")

Politically correct dinner parties

("I think the Palestinians have a good argument")

Battle of the Pizza nights

("I told mom that I want East Coast pizza, NOT pizza hut!")

Various drug interventions

("Lor..are you a meth addict?")

Cat rescues

("She was opening all the cages, going crazy!")

Crappy movies/Camp memories

(" So, then in the arts and crafts cabin..")

Fashion reality checks

("Why do you like tight, black clothes? I'm just saying..")

Cat spoiling

("Thomas is just so pretty. He can't help it, he's so precious")

And a million more festive moments

 I am going to miss her.

Erin is always the missing piece in our lives.  

Since she is going home (and I have run out of excuses) I have decided that now is FINALLY the time to get focused on my training.

So, prepare for long rambling posts about how bad my feet hurt.

3 weeks and 5 days until my next halfie!

Lori Ann

(favorite sister of Erin Leigh) 

Hinsdale Family Folklore

I don't know how all of you feel about English muffins.

They are kind of the love of my life.

Well, that's probably understating it a bit.

They are my very reason for existing and they get me through bleak, endless day after bleak, endless day.

So, imagine my confusion when this morning, I look over to see my brother eating something that looks strangely like MY English muffins.

"Is that an English muffin?"

(I say this in the same tone someone might say "Why did you kill my baby?")

"Umm..yeah"

Deep breath. Hold it together, Lori. Hold it together.

"Was it the LAST English muffin?"

(I say this in the tone of "your mother better come by and say goodbye to her baby boy because this is it for you")

"Umm...yeah"

I have heard of people seeing red but I'd never experienced it until 5:52 am this morning, watching my brother eating my LAST English muffin.

Unfortunately, while I was sorting through the kitchen knives, trying to find one sharp enough to do some real damage, my dad took him to work.

And brought me an English muffin from Dunkin Donuts.

I just wanted this recorded for my posterity.

Because seriously, some things are sacred.

Family. Country. Religion.

And above all else...English muffins.

Sleep with one eye open, Jr!

Lori Ann

p.s.- My niece Katy got a kitten! It's name changes every hour but it's ORANGE! Welcome to the crazy cat lady club, Katy!

Maybe I never told you

Random Monday Morning Updates

I feel like I am writing such random stuff lately.

 Like I need to focus on more profound thoughts or my feelings about current events.

 But that takes a lot of emotional energy.

 I need my energy for plotting revenge and setting unrealistic goals.

My sister Erin in in town.

 In case I forgot to mention it 100 times.

 She is taking my niece Katy to adopt a kitten from the SPCA today.

 Holy Hannah

. Life is about to get really crazy.

I took today off from work since Erin is here.

 I love having Mondays off.

 Because it's the day I end up doing mostly mental health evaluations.

 And everyone needs a break from administering mental health evaluations. 

I had a sleepover with the infamous Queen Elizabeth last night.

 It involved face masks, sparkly nail polish, camp fire, and talking about true beauty. 

I look so scary in this picture. Yikes!

We had a family slash neighborhood camp fire last night and made smores.

 I forgot my phone so I couldn't take any pictures.

 It's nice to just live in the moment at times. 

It felt like magical childhood.

 The kids were roasting marsh mellow and chasing fire flies and laughing.

 My mom and Jr were singing in horrible accents, my dad was sitting in a wheelbarrow.

 It's moments like that when I find my hatred of summer dimming a little. 

I'm completely off track with my training and I've got just under 4 weeks.

 It's really, honestly time to kick it into gear. 

I went out with the sister missionaries to teach a Hispanic man named Paco. 

It's the first time since my mission that I have gone out teaching.

 It was amazing. 

It's weird how easy it is to go back to the place. 

Maybe because it's similar to what I do every day. 

Talking to people I've just met about serious and important issues.

The sisters told my sister Danielle that we sound alike, have the same laugh and the same mannerisms, etc.

 I pretended to be outraged but I always love it when people compare me to my mom or sisters. 

Ok, so we are going to be back on track tomorrow. 

One more day of fun and craziness and then back to our goals and focused blogging!

Lori Ann