It's Mischief..Mischief Night

Tonight is the night, people.

It's mischief night.

And I am spending it with 4 of Rockingham County's most notorious hoodlums.

 Rumor has it that between the four of them they have racked up over 30 hours spent in time out, 60 "go to your rooms", and a whopping 14 hours of Dora the Explorer probation.

 Prepare to look into the very face of evil....here you go....

James "Squeaky" Monroe

Jack "Attack" Monroe

"Smelly" Elly Monroe

And the Godfather herself...Katy "Rat Rat" Monroe

Hide your pumpkins, lock up your toilet paper, and put all of your fat and friendly basset hounds back in their kennel.

Lori Ann

I can't help myself, I love you and nobody else

I know, I know..when I see videos on most other blogs I am like "gag..not going to watch the antics of others people's kids whom I don't know or don't care about"

 (and the mean Lori is revealed more and more with every post)

I can't stop myself from posting about my nieces and nephews because they fascinate me.

It's like I've waited my entire life to meet them and no one has ever made made me laugh so much.

And I've always thought that when you find something this good, you've got to share it with the world;)

Lori Ann

If you don't know me by now

I was reading this blog tonight and it was totally boss.

 I love Melissa..she is a funny, insightful, and a very easy to relate to as a blogger.

Anyway, she wrote 10 HONEST THINGS on her blog tonight, and so I am going to do the same..

you know you've been waiting for this..

just when you thought I had confessed everything...here we go..

10 HONEST THINGS ABOUT THE MAGNIFICENT MARVELOUS MAD MADAME LORI
*editors note- I'm neither mad nor a madame, I just like alliteration!*

10. I secretly think of myself as a mean person because of my inner monolouge. I will be saying nice things but thinking mean and sarcastic things in my head. I keep waiting for someone to point to me and say "Are you kidding me? Nice? She is pure evil!"

9. I sincerely find most people's children (especially in the one month to 4 year age range) either ugly or plain. (see what I'm talking about? MEAN). p.s.- I sound so harsh on this..I really do judge people on more than their looks, but I am just saying when you show me your baby's picture, my mean inner monolouge will be saying "eh..not that cute"

8.I don't like anything that is served at Thanksgiving except the mashed potatoes. (and I will eat turkey, but I dont really like it)

7. I voluntarily watched a history channel special on the Free Masons last night and realized that I am slowly turning into my father

6. My two biggest dissapointments in life are not having an accent and not being a twin...I want both so much and cannot have either

5. I genuinely find my nieces and nephews to be the four most fascinating people I have ever met

4. I love being sick because I love nyquil..maybe a little too much.."I feel a slight headache coming on..nothing a good dose of nyquil can't handle" :)

3. I feel like my mission was so long ago, it almost seems like it was in a different life time.
2. I have a love/hate relationship with my name -Lori. If I could change it, I probably would make it something like Grace or maybe Salem or who knows what?

1. I have a tattoo. No confession list is complete without that. It's the one rebellious thing I've done and I regret/don't regret it.


Lori Ann

So I'm breaking the habit tonight...

In addition to the clarity of thought I have been having since getting the flu, I have been blog surfing..oh yeah, that's right.

I want to see what kind of competition if out there for "Lolee" and sabotage it!

 (Or just read and enjoy it, whatever)

I found this quote posted on an amazing blog I just discovered HERE.

The whole HABIT thing took me by suprise, because I thought they were talking about chocolate..but I guess habit makes more sense..to some people. 

Lori Ann 

You make me sick

The Benefits of Illness

By L. Ann Hinsdale, PhD.
 (well, MSW..but its practically the same thing;)

Being ill does something to my brain.

 It slows it down in a weird and awesome way.

Usually my mind is racing with ideas about prank calls I want to make to my older sisters, craft ideas for my clients, and what I want people to get me for Christmas.

Then..BAM...I get sick, and, as I sit in front of hours of home improvement tv shows, slightly out of it on nyquil, wrapped up in my new pink snuggie (thanks, Eri),

 I get a lot of clarity of thought.

Here is what I have been thinking:

What I miss most from my childhood is the feeling of magic that surrounded holidays.

 Even though we didnt have many "big" Christmases, something about the holidays with my family was so easy, and sparkly, and fun.

Now, I have to struggle to make myself feel like holidays are somehow different from other days.

I have recently been thinking about all of the ways that I have been blessed from my mission.

 My company CEO recently told me that I was one of her favorite people and an "absolute necessity" because of:

1. My ability to set people at ease (thank you knocking on doors and talking to thousands of people and trying to not appear like a crazy person)

2. My bi-lingualness (thank you, MTC for 9 harsh weeks of language training, my "I will not speak English to you" trainer, and all mi gente de Illinois)


It's weird when you start to see the plan that God has for you and the way that He has led you.

You start to think that maybe God knows what he is doing after all.

p.s.- the cold medicine makes me unusually introspective.

 Yuck.

 Back to normal Lori as soon as I get over this flu!

Lori Ann

Sweet Elly Mae, good times never seemed so good

I am so lucky to be her aunt. 

Aunt Lori Ann

I always feel like somebody's watching me

In honor of this, the Halloween season, I will now be presenting my TWO..count 'em, TWO experiences with the supernatural.

You might want to sit down for this one!

# 1- to put myself through college, and because I genuinely love the elderly (except in line at the supermarket), I became a CNA. That's right- Certified Nursing Assistant. Anyway, during my time working in the nursing home, I saw a lot of crazy, funny, weird, and completely bizarre things. I can tell you that there is a strange energy connected with death, and that people in nursing homes all die in 3's. But that's not my story..here we go..


I worked with this couple, Lucy and Joe, for close to a year before Joe died. He died in the hospital of complications of old age and it was peaceful and expected. Anyway, that night I was getting Lucy washed up for bed and I had all the lights off, except for the one over her bed and I was in the bathroom filling up the washing basin. I had the medicine cabinet open looking for soap..when I closed it, I saw reflected in the medicine cabinet mirror, a woman, dressed all in white, with long brown hair walk by. It gives me the chills to just write about it.

I know, I know..I sound like the psychic hotline!

I swear I am not crazy though and this was the only really strange thing that every happened to me in the nursing home.


# 2- I was trying to find the house of someone in my parents branch in Pennsylvania. I had been there only once before, but I knew it wasn't far. Anyway, I got totally lost and ended up driving up and down these crazy backwoods hill roads, just trying to find my way back. I was getting low on gas, did not have a cell phone, and it was dark and foggy. Anyway, in the distance I saw this light, which I followed, and, as I got closer, I recognized it was this old stone Lutheran church which was on the way back to my parents house. It was all lit up and it got me unlost and home. I have driven past that church many, many, many times since that night and never have I once seen even one light on at night.

Strange, eh?

Lori Ann

On a cold and gray Chicago morning

Some of the neighborhood thugs stopped by my place today..
  Elly "Jumping Bean" Monroe

Jack "Little J" Monroe

They were kinda cute, so I took their pictures!

The little one was too fast for me to get a picture, but rumor has it she hangs out at Strawberry Rd and goes by the name of Kat-Rat.

Lori Ann

This one's for the girls..

Every Wednesday, around 430 pm, I hold a teen group for the teenage girls that I work with.

They come to me for counselling, advice, direction, and honest and theraputic discussion..

And I give them

Crafts are so healing though, amirite?

Lori Ann

Cause its Thriller Night..

I went to see Paranormal Activity tonight....

OH MY GOSH



Then I wouldn't be so scared!

Lori Ann
(brave feminist to the end!)

In the cold November rain..

I love this weather.

 I really must have the summer hating version of Seasonal Affective Disorder because I am much more depressed in the summer and I begin to feel SO HAPPY during the fall..

It's fleeting though

. I wish fall felt as long as summer.

I wish people would sit around and moan like they do about winter or summer "When will this fall be over?"

Every day is magical.

 I love the crisp air, the wind, the falling of the leaves, the feeling that Halloween is right around the corner.

My idea of heaven is a bright, chilly fall day spent outside, followed by a night inside, tucked under a blanket, drinking hot chocolate and watching Harry Potter.

I could live that day a million times and never grow bored, never dream of beaches and sunshine, or snow and holidays.

Lori Ann 

I had a feeling that I belonged..

Ding, Ding, Ding..

It's time for WHAT DO THESE THINGS HAVE IN COMMON ?
 (and yes, since it is in all caps, I am shouting it at you!)

1. Men in kilts

2. Ammon

3. Knowing how to change oil

4. Jews

5. Boy band dancing

6. Your dad

{POST EDIT}

Well, the only person who guessed was Erin and I think she said something like "Heath Ledger?" which made no sense to me..anyway.. All of the above are things that are HOT! Better luck next time, there were no winners today!

Lori Ann 

This is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten..

So,

I have gone over in my mind what I want this blog to be. There have been times when I have wanted it to be just a record of my goals. Other times I have thought it should be a format for total honesty and artistic expression...I don't know.

It will be what it wants to be, I guess.

What I can promise you is that I will keep you frequently updated on my goals and that I will write every day.

The goals I am going to work on first are:

Get my visiting teaching done for Rock-tober

Start looking for the people I baptized

Read one of the books on my Top 100 list..I think I will FINALLY finish Walden Pond..Thoreau can be a bit smug, though.

I am thinking that, if the weather is good, I might sleep under the stars this weekend..we'll see.

On a side note, I had an AMAZING birthday and I want to thank my sisters, brothers (y estoy hablando de ti tambien, cunado) and my parents for EVERYTHING. I have been blessed with an amazing family and I hope they know how much I appreciate them...that having been said..

364 days until my next birthday..you might want to start planning now!

Lori Ann

Many years have passed since those summer days..

It's a new decade of my life.

I am 30.

It is both scary and strangely empowering.

With that in mind, I am starting this blog with my list of
30 Things to do while I am 30.
Read it and weep, sweater monkeys.

1. Run 1 mile

2. Find the perfect "little black dress"

3. Read 30 of my Top 100 Books

4. Do 30 sessions at the Temple.

5. Spend one weekend at a Bed and Breakfast

6. Write 30 letters of thanks to people who have influenced my life

7. Become an expert in making 3 dishes

8. Go to Paris with Danielle and Erin

9. Complete my LCSW

10. See a Broadway Show

11. Volunteer at 30 events/places

12. Give blood 6 Times

13. Win money/prizes

14. Write in my blog every day from 10/7/09 to 10/7/10

15. Recieve a genuine piece of correspondence from Alan Rickman

16. Sleep under the Stars

17. Support Autism in some tangible way

18. Refine my theraputic technique

19. Buy myself diamonds

20. Pay off my car

21. Help create magical birthdays for each of my nieces and nephews

22. Cook a holiday meal for someone

23. Grow my hair with only 3 trims for one year

24. Complete 30 "random acts of kindness"

25. Get in touch with everyone I baptized

26. Send out a minimum of 30 Christmas Cards

27. Celebrate the start of each month with a "November Day" or whatever month it is

28. Start my autobiography

29. Write a real book

30. Complete my Visiting Teaching 100% every month for a year

Lori Ann