Counting 1 2 3

Ok,

There are 3 things that are very important for me to share with all of you

. Here they are, in no particular order...

1. Yesterday, one of my clients told me that his foster father had cooked him

 "the Jesus of all pork chops".

 Most creative and disturbing blasphemy I've ever heard.
(Not that I support it, but my initial reaction was laughter!)

2. I have been invited to the MANAGEMENT RETREAT!

 You know what this means, people.

 I am now "The man".

 And, on a side note, yeah..I'm going need those TPS reports ASAP.

and lastly.

3. My father called me at 7 am to "get out the vote" or "rock the vote" or something.

 I guess reminding me to vote.

And vote I did, suckers!

Happy Election Day!!

Lori Ann
***oh man, I love election night coverage! One commentator was talking about how remaining democratic senators are looking at the fate of those democrats who "walked the plank" and voted for health care reform. How can I make the phrase "walk the plank" more a part of my every day conversations??***

Just wait and see..aka I'm sorry for not getting it, North Carolina aka the triumph of Fear

Well,

Chalk up another victory for FEAR.

Fear and I have a never ending battles -which fear usually wins!  

I was ALL set to go and sleep out in the field behind my office, when I decided to watch what AOL termed

  "the 20 scariest movie scenes of all time"

Big mistake. 

Looks like this goal will have to go back on the shelf for another year.

 Dang it. 

However, as a small consolation prize, I have promised myself that I will be 

CONQUERING MY FEAR OF THE BASEMENT

when I go home for Thanksgiving!

Lori Ann

p.s. On a side note, I have been lamenting being trapped in North Carolina for another fall.

I have been dreaming of the crisp, chilly, and stunningly beautiful fall days of Pennsylvania.

I asked God to help me not hate where I live, and He opened my eyes to see that I was

surrounded by beauty. 

p.p.s. Happy Halloween, pork chops!

And just forget the world

People!

I am going wireless this weekend! (as in, no computer)

You may be sitting in front of your computer, tears running down your face, screaming "WHY??"

It's Halloween weekend people. And this year I will NOT fail to meet my goal of

SLEEPING UNDER THE STARS ON HALLOWEEN!

Nothing will stop me! (well, rain, threat of rain, fog, being uncomfortable, getting bored, and my fear of the dark could likely stop me)

Anyway, I am going to be running around all weekend, getting stuff done, so I can focus on spending Halloween Night

Looking up into the heavens

Dreaming of moving home

So that I can be

Spending Halloween Night next year

Under the stars with my little muffin babies.

Before they go and grow up on me!

Lolee

(but this weekend you can call me "dare devil"..or "devil dog"..or "the cats pajamas")

31 is still growing up now..

Ok, the public has been clamoring for more office pictures.

 Never let it be said that I didn't care about the little people!

This one is just for Eri!

 Thanks for the cute note thing!

Next we have my desk, with my infamous cranberry and ginger ale mix next to my difficult work laptop!

My bookshelf/Europe corner.

Last, the overall picture.

 Pretty glamorous, eth?

Now..on to the craziest mission story EVER told...

So, Laura (my former intern) and her companion get a call from a woman they had been teaching.

 I think she was committed for baptism.

 She stated that she urgently needed to talk to them. 

They got it approved by their zone leaders as it was after 9:30 pm.

 Then, they ran across the street to where this lady lived.
(Right across from them)

So, the scene is set.

It's a dark and hopefully stormy night when they arrive at their investigators house..

So, the woman invited them down the hall to her kitchen?

 Living room.?

Somewhere with a table. 

Spread across this table was every piece of church literature they had ever given her.

 And on top of that literature were her pills. 

That's right, her pills. 

Laura said that they were laid out in an organized fashion.

 Like: Joseph Smith pamphlet and xanax,

 proclamation to the family and ativan.

Anyway, at this point the woman began to speak to them about something.

 I think she was calling them out and talking about the devil.

 There may or may not have been some kind of exorcism that occurred.
  (I am such a great listener).

 Anyway, whatever was said, they took the whole pill/religious documents as their cue to leave.

 But before they could leave..

This woman stood up and began speaking some language.
(Laura says it was NOT gibberish).

They were edging toward the door and asking her what she was saying, when she announced "I was speaking Aramaic, because I am Jesus Christ"

Did it end there, dear readers?

 Of course not.

Laura and her comp tried to get out, but the woman blocked them in to her narrow hallway. 

You heard it right... Laura and her comp faced down a female Jesus in the narrow hallway of her one bedroom apartment surrounded by all of her pills.

Apparently, at this point, Laura's comp yelled "What's that over there?"

When the woman turned, they pushed past her and got out of the apartment.

As they ran to their apartment, she continued to shout threats and taunts at them.

 I think it was like "I'm watching you", "You're Satan's puppets", stuff like that etc. 

I doubt anyone could top that, but I challenge all you RM's out there to try!

Thanks for letting me tell your story, Laura.

 You are the best.

 In exchange I bequeath you my black office chair!

Lori Ann

What a way to make a living aka the Pork Chop Saga!

It has happened.

I transferred departments and am now in my 9th office since starting to work for this company 2 1/2 years ago.

This one is, by far, my favorite.

**wellll....I loved my office that was literally in a hallway. It allowed me to eavesdrop alot. But this one has natural light, so it wins!**

This is my quote wall.

 I've surrounded it with blue lights.

 Really kinda classy, right?

Ahh!!

 My work computer won't let me upload any more pictures right now.

 Devil computer.

Suffice it to say, it's pretty much a corner office with floor to ceiling windows and an amazing view of the NYC  Reidsville skyline...

On a completely unrelated side note, I have become obsessed with the idea of naming something "pork chop".

 We had a team building activity last week and my clinical supervisor asked us to come up with a name for ourselves and I shouted out "The Pork chops!".. we ended up "the dream team"..lame, right?

Genius is never recognized in its day, my little pork chops!

Lori Ann

p.s.- Mission story to commence manana!

New York, New York

I don't tell a lot of mission stories on this blog.

Mainly because, if I started, I wouldn't stop until I had told EVERY story..and I've got about 3000.

***also, I've got former comps that read this blog and I won't be able to embellish my stories with them reading! They know the sorry truth!***

 I served in the Illinois, Chicago Mission (Spanish speaking).

BEST MISSION EVER!

Anyway, to the point...I thought I had some kick-a mission stories.

But nothing...NOTHING..compares with the story my intern Laura told me. 

Laura
(the only Mormon intern in north Carolina)

 got matched up with me
 (the only Mormon task supervisor in North Carolina).

 Now I am transferring and leaving her in the clutches of another supervisor...ha ha ha
 (evil cackling)

..sorry, Laura! 

Laura served in the New York, Utica Mission... a few days after she started at the internship, she told me a mission story the likes of which I have never heard before..

Stay tuned, faithful readers. 

Lori Ann

p.s.- Laura..the battle of the chairs begins NOW!

Random Thoughts: The late Thursday afternoon version..

It's the magical time again:

To all the spiders of Rockingham County, North Carolina:

 my apartment is not your winter hang out spot.

 Just so you know.

Tomorrow is my last day at Day Treatment.

 I am transferring (back) to Intensive In Home.

 I am excited/sad. 

I want to have a scary movie night.

 All I need is someone willing to wake up at 3 am when I call, convinced that the girl from the Ring is hiding in my kitchen!

Sometimes my clients say the funniest thing.

 We have a new kid and today he and I, and two other clients were sitting at a table in the cafeteria, listening to a lecture.

I noticed that he was grumbling to himself and so I can say that I was only half surprised when he took the lid of his pen, placed it on the table, spun it in a circle and announced in a loud voice
 (to no one in particular)
"We are playing spin the bottle and when it lands on you, you get B*#t#^ slapped".

 I don't think it would have been quite as funny if the pen lid had not, at that moment, pointed directly at him!

I accidentally set my jack o lantern on fire.

No worries.

It has survived mostly in tact.

 I'm rethinking my decision to have dismantled my smoke detector though

I am going out to get some apple cider because I have a long night of rice krispy treat making ahead of me. 

If you hear me promising someone rice krispy treats again, please stop me. 

Lori Ann