Ok, the public has been clamoring for more office pictures.
Never let it be said that I didn't care about the little people!
Never let it be said that I didn't care about the little people!
This one is just for Eri!
Thanks for the cute note thing!
Next we have my desk, with my infamous cranberry and ginger ale mix next to my difficult work laptop!
My bookshelf/Europe corner.
Last, the overall picture.
Pretty glamorous, eth?
Pretty glamorous, eth?
Now..on to the craziest mission story EVER told...
So, Laura (my former intern) and her companion get a call from a woman they had been teaching.
I think she was committed for baptism.
She stated that she urgently needed to talk to them.
I think she was committed for baptism.
She stated that she urgently needed to talk to them.
They got it approved by their zone leaders as it was after 9:30 pm.
Then, they ran across the street to where this lady lived.
(Right across from them)
So, the scene is set.
It's a dark and hopefully stormy night when they arrive at their investigators house..
Then, they ran across the street to where this lady lived.
(Right across from them)
So, the scene is set.
It's a dark and hopefully stormy night when they arrive at their investigators house..
So, the woman invited them down the hall to her kitchen?
Living room.?
Somewhere with a table.
Living room.?
Somewhere with a table.
Spread across this table was every piece of church literature they had ever given her.
And on top of that literature were her pills.
And on top of that literature were her pills.
That's right, her pills.
Laura said that they were laid out in an organized fashion.
Like: Joseph Smith pamphlet and xanax,
proclamation to the family and ativan.
Like: Joseph Smith pamphlet and xanax,
proclamation to the family and ativan.
Anyway, at this point the woman began to speak to them about something.
I think she was calling them out and talking about the devil.
There may or may not have been some kind of exorcism that occurred.
(I am such a great listener).
Anyway, whatever was said, they took the whole pill/religious documents as their cue to leave.
But before they could leave..
I think she was calling them out and talking about the devil.
There may or may not have been some kind of exorcism that occurred.
(I am such a great listener).
Anyway, whatever was said, they took the whole pill/religious documents as their cue to leave.
But before they could leave..
This woman stood up and began speaking some language.
(Laura says it was NOT gibberish).
They were edging toward the door and asking her what she was saying, when she announced "I was speaking Aramaic, because I am Jesus Christ"
(Laura says it was NOT gibberish).
They were edging toward the door and asking her what she was saying, when she announced "I was speaking Aramaic, because I am Jesus Christ"
Did it end there, dear readers?
Of course not.
Laura and her comp tried to get out, but the woman blocked them in to her narrow hallway.
You heard it right... Laura and her comp faced down a female Jesus in the narrow hallway of her one bedroom apartment surrounded by all of her pills.
Apparently, at this point, Laura's comp yelled "What's that over there?"
When the woman turned, they pushed past her and got out of the apartment.
As they ran to their apartment, she continued to shout threats and taunts at them.
I think it was like "I'm watching you", "You're Satan's puppets", stuff like that etc.
When the woman turned, they pushed past her and got out of the apartment.
As they ran to their apartment, she continued to shout threats and taunts at them.
I think it was like "I'm watching you", "You're Satan's puppets", stuff like that etc.
I doubt anyone could top that, but I challenge all you RM's out there to try!
Thanks for letting me tell your story, Laura.
You are the best.
In exchange I bequeath you my black office chair!
You are the best.
In exchange I bequeath you my black office chair!
Lori Ann
You're right. I cannot top that!
ReplyDeleteI did take a BofM to a guy you claimed to be the 3rd Michael. Adam was the first, Jesus the 2nd and this guy was the 3rd. 100 lbs over weight, wearing a shirt that was too small for his belly and short shorts, a grizzly beard and unwashed hair. I totally believed him.
AGHHHHH! That is SO creepy!!!!!! I would have asked to move ASAP! Can you imagine living across the street from that woman after that??? Someone should compile a book of creepy mission stories and release it for Halloween. There has to be a ton of them!
ReplyDeleteDid I ever tell you Curtis' story? Curtis that worked with me at T-stix and stopped believing in the church on his mission. Hilarious story. In case I didn't tell you the long and short of it his companion used the priesthood to put a curse on him, and after the zone leader told him he couldn't do that, his companion used the priesthood to formally remove the curse.
ReplyDeleteMindi..
ReplyDeleteThat is pretty awesome! I never met any religious figures. Just some drunks and latin romeos:)
Those were my favorites!
Jess,
What does Sweden do for Halloween? Anything strange? What are Andrews mission stories? Where did he serve?
Jackie,
Oh man, I knew so many elders like that. Always talking about raising their arms to the square and shaking dust off their shoes. Bizzare.
Let's see... here's some minor details to add to the story. Fantastic retelling of it by the way!
ReplyDeleteIt was indeed a dark and snowy night. It was about a week before Christmas, 2004.
What she said at first (prior to the aramaic/speaking in tongues) was: "I should never have done it. I think I made a mistake." When asked what she never should have done, her response was "it was a mistake to sacrifice myself for this world. It was too big of a sacrifice." When she started to speak her language I asked what she was saying, she said "I cannot tell you. Because I am Jesus Christ."
Yes, the pills and missionary-related materials were laid out strategically on her coffee table (in the living room). Yes, it was seriously creepy and one of those stories that you think are merely urban legend in missionary folklore; one of those stories that I would never believe except for the fact that I was there.
When we tried to leave and she blocked the exit, she was telling us something to the effect of "you can't go home. If you leave here, there are people out there who will get you. I'm sending them for you." Something like that. We ducked under her arms, sprinted out the door, out the building, and back across the street.
A few days later, she was committed into the mental hospital. Then this other lady moved into her apartment. She got baptized six months later.
Thanks for posting my story, and if it's the same to you, I'll keep MY office chair. :)
Oh, and her baptism was supposed to be in two days from this night. She'd already had her interview and everything. Needless to say, it didn't happen.
ReplyDeleteOk, that story was LEGENDARY! Thank you for making my day. Lori, I want to hear some more of your mission stories next!
ReplyDeleteHalloween really hasn't caught on here, but some of the neighboirhoods with lots of ex-pats will have trick or treating. We are moving on Monday though, and since Halloween is on a Sunday anyway, we just decided to do trick or treating by ourselves. How? We had the kids trick or treat at their bedroom doors and Andrew and I passed out candy. It was so lame and ghetto, and WAY worse than any church trunk or treat you can imagine.
As for Andrew's mission stories- he stumbled across a couple of dead bodies (he served in Brazil), but my favorite stories involve Andrew getting violated. Once a 90 year old woman grabbed him in the crotch. I don't know why I think that is so funny. There has to be something wrong with me.