He filled my life with endless wonder

Some things I don't want to forget from this crazy, crazy week. 

Seeing these in the hallway outside of my office yesterday. 

They are from my sister Erin. She sends me flowers a few times a year. Just because she is thoughtful like that. 

Erin never forgets me. She always knows when I am stressed or overwhelmed or if I just had a week with 100 back to back appointments in it. (or when someone tells me (like today) that an alligator could do my job better than me)

Best. Sister. Ever. 

This was hanging on my office when I got in earlier this week. It's from Dawn, one of my very favorite coworkers. She left me a card today that said "35".

She's counting down to my half marathon.

How sweet is that? 

She is also holding my crackers for me so that I don't eat more than 5 at lunch time. 

That's true friendship. 

Dawn is amazing.

Anyway...other stuff I want to remember...

James told me that I was "lame" because I didn't have the song Bad Company on my iPad.

Katy was talking about how she wants to be a mom one day. She said she is going to find her future husband in either New York or Utah. She was talking about being a little scared to have a baby in her stomach and so I said "You can always adopt a baby" and she said "I can just go to the hospital and get one?" 

She sounded really excited. :) 

All the marriage and baby talk prompted me to talk about the man I want to marry and I was listing the qualities I want: metro sexual, in touch with his feelings... and Jack Jack states "Someone who will do whatever you say"

How does he know me so well?

Speaking of Jack Jack- today he said that the reason that I get so aggravated with him at times was because I am still upset about not being present at his birth. (which I agreed with!)

(He was due Oct. 1st- I came out Sept. 30th and had to leave on Oct. 8th- the day he was born. My sister was half way through labor when I had to leave)

When I got home from work, Elly and her friend were playing outside in the snow. Elly yells over to me "Aunt Lori, we have ice powers!". Then, after a quick, whispered conference with her friend, she turns to me and states "Umm..never mind. No, we don't!"  They look so relieved when I said "ok". (I guess the ice powers are supposed to be secret. But I am so selling this story to the tabloids)

My parents are sick. This thing was waiting for me when I got home today. My mother has been trying to get her hands on a manniquin for her trainings at work. (she has asked in several stores "What are you doing with that manniquinn?" I told her that she was making us look like serial killers)

Anwyay, I gues she finally got her hands on one and it scared me like 10 times tonight. 

Bizzare. 

I've been to the gym almost every single day. 

I love my new gym. It helps me push myself to work out, knowing that the steam room and hot tub await me at the end!

I went to a weight loss support group and learned about organic stuff. (yuck)

Tomorrow, my goal is to walk/run 10 miles.

Wish me luck!!

Lori Ann

hi, my name is

You guys.

I ran on the treadmill today.

For the first time in my life.

I was running a little here and there outside last fall but I had kind of stopped once winter got here.

And I've never really been able to go faster than 3 miles an hour on the treadmill.

But today (for about 1/2 mile) I was running. Like legit running. At 4 miles per hour.  

That's a 15 mile a minute pace. Which, for me, is incredible.

It used to take me close to 30 minutes to walk one mile.

I could totally finish my half marathon in under 4 hours if I can go at that pace.

I think my official marathon plan is going to be to create a 4 hour playlist and alternate fast and slightly slower songs and run during the fast songs and speed walk during the slower songs.

I will probably walk the first mile as a warm up.

I know I've still got a lot of work ahead but it feels nice to have a plan.

39 days to go.

Lori Ann

p.s.- I have decided that, as a reward for completing the half marathon, I will be getting myself brand new sneakers and a nice ipod with an armband thing!

p.p.s.- I hope no one in the gym can read lips. Otherwise they would have seen me singing a lot of "chica, chica, chica slim shady".  I think my half marathon mix is going to be heavy on the eminem and Christina Aguilera. Both of them make me feel like my feet can fly.

And they worked out a plan

So, not to get too health and fitness crazy here at the Spinster Chronicles but we do need to talk about something serious.

Only 40 days until my half marathon. 

I already have a hotel room. 

It's cost me a total of close to 250 dollars between the hotel and the registration and everything.

There is no backing out now.

It's scaring me a little.
(but all really good goals should scare you a little)

So, I have been going to the gym. Just not that consistently.

And I haven't been walking/running because I LOATHE the treadmill. And there is nowhere to walk outside right now. Everything is covered in ice and snow.

Not a good excuse, I know. 

I did get on the treadmill today for 3 miles. 

But I've got to do a lot more than that. 

A half marathon is 13.1 miles. 

The furthest I've walked in my life up to this point is 7 miles. 

I guess what I am trying to say is that I am going to try and make the next forty days of my life very focused and push myself to achieve this goal.

If I could complete a half marathon (and my only goal is to finish in under 4 hours) I know it would be a huge confidence booster for me. 

So, if this blog goes to a weird fitness-y place, don't be alarmed. 

I'm trying to keep myself motivated and inspired. 

Wish me luck!

Lori Ann

p.s.- I am always looking for good music for my half marathon mix or ideas to keep me motivated if you've got any!!

p.p.s.- I think I'm going to start the marathon with a little "Goodbye Earl"- I feel so inspired listening to it right now. The part where it says "Right away, Mary Ann flew in from Atlanta on a red eye midnight flight, she held Wanda's hand and they worked out a plan" reminds me of my sisters so much:) 

Oh, tell me now

I was looking through my old pictures to try and find a picture of Elly when she was younger. 

Even though I just did a birthday tribute post to her, I wanted to do another one to celebrate her getting baptized tomorrow.

 (Mormons baptize at age 8)

But then I stumbled onto this picture. 

This was me about a year and a half ago. 

Sometimes I feel like I have so much further to go.

 (I'd like to lose another 70 lbs or so) 

But seeing this picture reminds me of how far I've come. 

I signed up for a new gym today. 

A gym with yoga classes and a steam room and a hot tub and lots of weird gym people. 

Hopefully I will be one of them one day. 

Wish me luck!!

People at the gym are going to be so intimidated by me. It's going to be epic!

Lori Ann

And time is frozen

Things and weird thoughts I don't want to forget from Snowmageddon 2014: 

Jack Jack; after being made to pose for me in the snow, stating "You like to take pictures of human suffering, don't you?" 

Finding a sled buried beneath about a foot of snow and convincing Jack Jack to try sledding down the hill. He got about 3 inches. We couldn't stop laughing.

Hanging out for a few minutes with this sassy thing. She told me "Danielle told me I could come out and help". 

She shoveled snow, swept off steps, found all the icicles on Grandpa's truck, and handed me several chunks of ice to "keep in your pocket for later". 

After being out in the snow for a while, she announced "I'm going in for some hot cocoa!"

While shoveling with the Kat, I realized that it's kind of sad that this is my first time shoveling all winter and I've been letting my 63 year old father (with recent knee surgery) do it all the time. 

Yikes. 

I also announced to my dad that all of this snow had to be rattling the Global Warming crowd. He said that they claim victory either way- too much heat or snow. 

At which point I made the announcement that it is my belief that Americans (and particularly those of the white, Angelo Saxon protestant persuasion) love to feel guilty. 

It's been that way since the days of our Puritan ancestors.

We love to feel guilty and make others feel guilty.

So, cries of "you're a witch" or "you're immoral" or "you are different- by race, religion, ethnicity, etc

have been replaced with cries of "you are judgemental" or "you're destroying the Earth" or "you're a racist". 

The same cycle of guilt, shaming, and intolerance- it's just the the groups and topics have changed over time. 

So yeah...I think I have too much time on my hands. 

My cheeks after being out for less than an hour
(I blocked all the color except the cheeks!)

Lori Ann

How she's gonna find her way back home

These are my great great and great Grandmothers- Ada and Naomi

I have learned alot in the last 24 hours as I've immersed myself in family history.

I've learned that through my Dad's family I am a 13th generation American.

Our ancestor Robert Hinsdale came over in 1632- 12 years after the Mayflower.

He was later killed by Indians in a dramatic standoff (along with 3 of his sons)

I've learned that after 4 generations, my mother's family kind of disappears into the ether.

And not that I know everything about even those 4.

The more I learn, the more there is to learn.

I find one relative and that leads me to a million others.

Great aunts and uncles and their children, whom I've never heard of.

Generations of my family.

Most of whom are directly responsible for me even being here.

And I don't know them.

I don't know why I feel so inspired to do this.

I wonder what God wants me to find.

We shall see.

Lori Ann

What she once was to me

So my mother made me see this movie last night. 

Oddly enough, we were the only ones in theater to see this one on Friday night at 10 pm;) 

It was a good movie. It's the true story of an Irish woman who is looking for the son that she lost to adoption when she was a teenager. 

For some reason, when I left the theater last night I was filled with this overwhelming desire to find my great grandmother.

 Some might say that this is not really my story to tell but since I made my blog private and this woman was my great grandmother and her decisions have affected my life in a very meaningful way- I am going to tell the story anyway.

It's a little confusing, but here we go...

Here is the family tree-

There's me- Lori Ann.

Before I hacked all of my hair off

 I am the daughter of Terry Ann.

 Her mother- my grandmother- is Ann.

Here with the Katy Kat

 And her mother- my great grandmother was also Anne. (but with an 'e')

I know my mom (of course) and my grandmother. 

Here is my mom and her mom and 5 of her 8 siblings.

I've never met my great grandmother Anne.

My mom has never met her.

And my grandmother hasn't seen her in about 70 years.

After marrying a man named Wilfred Roberts at age 16 or so and giving birth to 5 daughters, my great grandmother Anne (who was maybe 23 or 24 at this time) left her family and went back to Ireland.

No one has heard from her since. 

My grandmother's father died in an accident shortly thereafter and she (and her sisters) were raised in foster care most of their lives. 

Being raised in foster care in the 40's affected my grandmother. It affected the way she parented my mother. Which affected the way my mother parented me. 

I love both of these women. Especially my mother. They are incredibly strong women.

But I can't deny that the original Anne's actions have affected my life. 

I know almost nothing about her. 

Which is odd because her name is my name. I love the Ann in my name. It makes me feel so connected to the strong women who are the reason I even exist and yet I know nothing of the original Anne.

Seeing this woman in the movie search so hard for her family made me feel like I should do the same. 

My great grandmother could still be alive for all I know. She'd be 98 or 99 right now. 

She's about to be a great-great-great grandmother and she doesn't know. 

If she's still alive, that is. 

Anyway, 

I don't know what I'd do if I found her. Or found out what happened to her.

I'd like to think it would bring some peace to my grandmother or my mom. 

I don't know. 

But I feel like it's important to try. 

Wish me luck. 

Lori Ann