What she once was to me

So my mother made me see this movie last night. 

Oddly enough, we were the only ones in theater to see this one on Friday night at 10 pm;) 

It was a good movie. It's the true story of an Irish woman who is looking for the son that she lost to adoption when she was a teenager. 

For some reason, when I left the theater last night I was filled with this overwhelming desire to find my great grandmother.

 Some might say that this is not really my story to tell but since I made my blog private and this woman was my great grandmother and her decisions have affected my life in a very meaningful way- I am going to tell the story anyway.

It's a little confusing, but here we go...

Here is the family tree-

There's me- Lori Ann.

Before I hacked all of my hair off

 I am the daughter of Terry Ann.

 Her mother- my grandmother- is Ann.

Here with the Katy Kat

 And her mother- my great grandmother was also Anne. (but with an 'e')

I know my mom (of course) and my grandmother. 

Here is my mom and her mom and 5 of her 8 siblings.

I've never met my great grandmother Anne.

My mom has never met her.

And my grandmother hasn't seen her in about 70 years.

After marrying a man named Wilfred Roberts at age 16 or so and giving birth to 5 daughters, my great grandmother Anne (who was maybe 23 or 24 at this time) left her family and went back to Ireland.

No one has heard from her since. 

My grandmother's father died in an accident shortly thereafter and she (and her sisters) were raised in foster care most of their lives. 

Being raised in foster care in the 40's affected my grandmother. It affected the way she parented my mother. Which affected the way my mother parented me. 

I love both of these women. Especially my mother. They are incredibly strong women.

But I can't deny that the original Anne's actions have affected my life. 

I know almost nothing about her. 

Which is odd because her name is my name. I love the Ann in my name. It makes me feel so connected to the strong women who are the reason I even exist and yet I know nothing of the original Anne.

Seeing this woman in the movie search so hard for her family made me feel like I should do the same. 

My great grandmother could still be alive for all I know. She'd be 98 or 99 right now. 

She's about to be a great-great-great grandmother and she doesn't know. 

If she's still alive, that is. 

Anyway, 

I don't know what I'd do if I found her. Or found out what happened to her.

I'd like to think it would bring some peace to my grandmother or my mom. 

I don't know. 

But I feel like it's important to try. 

Wish me luck. 

Lori Ann