Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A Provisional Birthday Tribute

* if you are near music, please cue up "The Rose" by Bette Midler as you read this blog tribute*

And now...

For the much anticipated, highly gossiped about, somewhat controversial, and 8 days belated...

Birthday tribute to my very favorite brother in law.


A man known to many as "Jack Monroe Junior" but whom I affectionately call

 " Jackie boy" or "the one who got conned into marrying my evil sister!"

Top five weirdly awesome things about and/or favorite memories of the Jackster

5. Jack is the only person I have ever met who has been able to resist the Hinsdale grudge holding machine.

 He doesn't keep grudges nor does he respond to passive aggressive grudge holding against him.

  He is so even tempered and laid back.

When he came into our family it was like we had discovered an alien among us.

Sometimes I will reference past grievances and Jack will not even remember.

4. Jack once helped me; under the cover of darkness, grab a used mattress from behind my work, put it on top of his car and transport it to my shady apartment.

 I think he stabilized it by holding it with his hand out the window.

If you called Jack and said "I've got 3 llamas and a keg of dynamite I need transported over the border into Canada", Jackie would say "Sure, just give me gas money".

  He is up for any adventure and is endlessly helpful.

3. Jack has always worked hard for his family.

He's even impressed us man hating Hinsdale women.

 He's never been too proud to take any job, from the early years at Suzy's Lounge the BK to his current awesome job at AT&T.

He's made it possible for my sister to stay at home with her kids while they are young.

 How many women get that in today's world?

2. Jack brought strategy to our family.

 Previous to Jack, Hinsdale game playing involved one of either 3 things (or sometimes all 3):

 My dad winning quickly, someone flipping the board, or my mom cheating without consequence.

But Jackie taught us how to really game.

 I can't count how many long, crazy nights we've had, playing Settlers of Catan, Scrabble, who,what, when, where, and why or Uno with the kids.

 He's brought us smug victory speeches, playing by your heart, trading your cities for sidekicks like Dufensrmirts
 (or whatever his name is)

sheep-opolies, and the self indulgent tortilla chip crunch.

  Everything is more fun with Jack.

1. And lastly, I will have to agree with my sister on this one,

Jack is WAY hotter than Daniel Craig.
 (and every other blonde/ginger man in existence)

Happy (belated) Birthday, Jackie!

Lor

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