Told a few thousand stories..

I was in line behind the sheriff at walmart today.

 I haven't had this kind of brush with celebrity since the '08 Barnes and Noble Chris Daughtry incident!

One week until my birthday.

Oh yeah, its gonna be me and you, 31!

Let's make this the best year ever!!

Eri and I will be the same age again..like we are every year.

We are the same age from October 7th until December 10th.

64 days out of the year. 

I was crying in my car today, listening to Delilah.

She played "i hope you dance" and it made me sad that I am going to miss Jack-Jack's baptism. 

It made me sad that he is grown up enough to get baptized.
Where did my sweet, beautiful baby go?

I am a fan of the show Modern Family.

There has been a big facebook movement for the gay couple on the show to kiss.

 They finally did, and man oh man, was I disappointed.

 When I turn in to my prime time show and I hear there is going to be a gay kiss, I want something a little more exciting than that.

Put some effort into it, guys...seriously.

I have been learning so much about my own psychosis lately.

 It's fascinating.

 Next week I feature a list of topics I want to address with my future therapist!

I am stalled on Moby Dick.

 I think it happened when Ishmael started creating categories of whales, their features and behaviors, etc.

 Herman Melville hijacked my entertaining high seas adventure and turned it into some sort of whale variances encyclopedia.

Yikes.

Spanish is my superpower

. It still gives me a thrill when someone new sees me speaking Spanish.

 I love the look of confusion and the questions "wait...you speak Spanish?" 

I drank an entire thing of simply orange in one evening. 

I've got to get up at 6 am to make brownies.

 How do I get myself in these situations? 

Night, night!

Lori Ann

When you wish upon a star..

I know there is a God.

  I know it.


Here is how I know.

 This morning, when I woke to a cloudy, gray day, I thought to myself:

Oh man, I wish I were a stay at home mom, I would be able to relax, stay in my pjs, eat some ice cream, maybe watch some rainy day movies.

Then I trudged off to work, heaving the heavy sigh of a martyr as I went.

At work, I had crisis after crisis and could not get anything accomplished on my list.

 I couldn't sit down for 1 minute without someone calling my name, I couldn't even go to the bathroom without people hovering around, waiting for me to help them with something.

 Then the light bulb came on.

God had granted my wish.

 I was living the life of a stay at home mom.
(just without the pjs).

 Running around, putting out fires, looking sadly at my "to do" list as I ran by, and not even being able to go to the bathroom in peace.

So, today, I salute you, stay at home moms!

 I don't know how you do it.

I hope you get to spend the evening, in your pjs, eating ice cream and watching classic rainy day movies!
 (because that's what I am going to be doing!)

Lori Ann

Yesterday

 Yesterday was one of the most important days of my life.

After 6 years of college

 2 years of clinical supervision

 and over 3000 hours counselling families and individuals

 there remained only one last task to accomplish before recieving my licensure.

 (LCSW- Licensed Clincal Social Worker)

The dreaded state exam.

170 questions.
 (covering everything from Freud to elder abuse)

I didn't tell anyone I was taking it because I was so sure I was going to fail.

I didn't fail.

I passed with flying colors!

 The testing lady said she hadn't seen a score like that in a long time.
  (Maybe she was just trying to rein me in, as I was practically hyperventilating and crying at having passed!)

I can't tell you all how much I appreciate all of the warm wishes, positive comments, and shout outs that I have received.

 I am the luckiest girl in the world, and I have some amazing friends!

So yes, in case you've been wondering, I will diagnose you all free of charge!

 Just leave your mental health issues in the comments section and I will have you committed..diagnosed ASAP!

Lori Ann, LCSW

*Thanks Mom and Dad for the flowers! I was so surprised and excited! Party at the shore in my honor!!!*

Ode to Joy

Step 1:  Please press play on this video (ignore the images, its all about the music)..move the cursor to the one minute mark..

Step 2: Read the following
(well, really just the part that says I passed)

Step 3: Have a weekend of celebration! 

Lori Ann

that I'd be lost without you

You don't even have to ask.

You can totally come to my house for dinner.

 (BYOGCTSAC)
 *that stands for Bring your own grilled cheese, tomato soup, and coke*

Lori Ann

p.s.- I miss those babies.

 I miss seeing them run to the door yelling "Aunt Lorlee!!"  

57 days until Thanksgiving vacation!

Random Thoughts: The late Sunday Afternoon Edition

I haven't made any more progress in Moby Dick.

 Maybe because I keep reading it while laying across my bed.

 Inevitably, I wake up 3 hours later with my glasses on and the book still clutched in my hand. 

I plan to finish it tonight though- look for my review tomorrow!!

I also plan to finish up all of these craft projects for my fall packages and SHIP THEM OFF!!

I may or may not have eaten some candy from the fall packages.

Maybe.

 But let's say I did.

Am I really to blame?

 Or is it, in fact, the CANDY ITSELF that is to blame, calling my name from the depths of the fall package boxes?

I love social work, but there are so few social workers I like.

 I find most to be smug and self loathing.

 It's exhausting to deal with.

I don't like to do product endorsements, but I have to say that the pumpkin spice candle from Walmart totally rocks! 

My sisters have been chatting and talking about what a terrible pet owner I would be.

 Are you kidding me?

 I am the daughter of the "cat whisperer".

 I would be an excellent pet owner!
 (and yes, I HAVE killed a number of houseplants. Or should I say, they have killed themselves, due to their own lack of initiative!)

People need to update their blogs more often!

 Put down your children, responsibilities, and hobbies and entertain me, people!

What I focused on during my last training..sneakily reading and GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!!!

The strange lunches social workers eat when we all get together

I was tired of waiting at this light
 (which is literally like a 3 minute wait)

 until I realized I was missing the chance to see an amazing sunrise!

Lori Ann

Sail Away

"Whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul.."

"as a rather good sort of God, who perhaps meant well enough on the whole, but in all cases did not succeed in his benevolent designs" 
(referring to a small carved wooden pagan idol named Yojo)

"commend myself into the care of Heaven"
 (author describing the act of falling asleep)

"Ignorance is the parent of fear"

You may be wondering what all of these fabulous quotes have in common.

Well, wonder no more, my good people!

I am reading Moby Dick!!

This was another one on my list that I was hesitant to read because it sounded DEAD BORING.

 I knew it was about a whale and someone named Captain Ahab and blah blah blah.

However, in reading all of the books on my 100 greatest books of all time list, I have been, more often than not, pleasantly surprised.

 I adore Don Quixote, I am obsessed with Pride and Prejudice, I never have laughed as much as I did with Huckleberry Finn.

Maybe, I thought, Moby Dick will surprise me.

And let me tell you..it has!

I am 1/3rd of the way through, and they have just set sail for a three years journey, Ishmael and his tattooed pagan "bosom friend" Queequeg.

  I have been alternately laughing over their strange adventures and marveling at the poetic and inspiring words of Herman Melville.

I can't say it enough.

 Classic literature is classic for a reason.

 Every single one of the books I have read
 (except the creepy Heart of Darkness)

 has struck a chord with me.

 Has made me laugh, cry, and see the world in a whole new way.

Lori Ann

You'll have new Septembers

What it is, people?
 (I love saying that, it makes no sense)

Anyway, I have been asking my clients questions from my infamous

  book of questions

 and so I thought I'd ask you all too!

 Please choose at least one
(or maybe all of them!!)

 and tell me something about yourself.

Aren't I paying you people to keep me entertained at work?

I'd hate to have to lay any of you off in this kind of economy!! 

Question 1

What would you most like to hear from your father?

Question 2

Who do you think was the worst criminal in history?

Question 3

What's the most disgusting thing you've ever had to do?

Answer or don't.

 Your silence will be just as intriguing as your answers:)

p.s. On a side note, my fall decorating has now spewed over from my apartment to my office.

Check out my office door
 (the thing in the middle is for putting pics and decorations..don't worry..I'm getting to that next!)

p.p.s.- Don't be alarmed.

 It's supposed to look like that:)



                        Lori Ann

Your string of lights is still bright to me

I so very rarely get excited for new music. If I hear it on the radio and learn the lyrics, I grow to like it and sing along. 

 It's unusual for me to be like "I can't wait for this album to come out!"

I SO cannot wait for Taylor Swift's new album, Speak Now. 

I've already heard two of the songs (Mine and Innocent) and they are amazing!!

I wish I could switch generations and have Taylor Swift for my generation, and give Britney Spears to this generation:) 

Lori Ann

p.s.- My nephew James is having a hard time adjusting to his new school. He is autistic.(but the brightest and most beautiful child I have ever seen!) Can everyone keep him in your prayers? He is so sweet and I think that if we all pray, he will be ok. 

I don't know what to do

Random Thoughts Sunday Night:

I made myself a weird potato soup tonight. Then I served it up with a wooden spoon. I love wooden serving spoons. They remind me of Yoda. 

No movies sound good. I keep flipping through my netflix, trying to find something that sounds entertaining. Blah.

I've been reading crafting blogs. It's so bittersweet for me because I love to craft, but I have no orginality or skill.

It's still in the 80's here. Damn you, South. Why won't you let me have my fall weather???

I tried to watch Twilight today, but Kristin Stewart just annoys me too much. 

9 days until GLEE!!  Oh course, I don't have tv channels, so I hope hulu puts it up the next day. 

I haven't eaten chocolate in weeks. It just hasn't appealed to me in a long time. I don't know why.

I'm taking a candle lit bubble bath tonight!! I think I will start reading Moby Dick..I still can't find Walden, and I need to get moving.

Speaking of books, for every "good" book I read, I probably read about 15 romance novels. I buy them at the thrift store. They are my only enduring life passion. I hope to write one eventually. ANYWAY, I read possibly the WORST romance novel the other night. It was some bizzare story about a rich man and his sister is a social worker and she tells him that even though he gives money to the poor, he needs to experience it..blah, blah, blah...rich is evil, poor is wise and good. The LAST thing I want from a romance novel is a heavy handed poltical message. 

In closing, I have a feeling its going to be a festive week. Hold onto your hats, people! 

Lori Ann

These are my confessions..Part 17494278..

I confess:

There has been a lot of drama at work lately, including, but not limited to: a "come to Budda" meeting with my immediate supervisor, an  intern named Laura who is JUST like me (she's LDS, working on her MSW, and she came out here to help her sister!), late night texting, and crying in supervision meetings.

 And the cantaloupes..how could I forget them?

Free cantaloupes from my mortal enemy.

I think I am over my grape fetish.

Now I am obsessed with tacos.

Trying to get this blog the way I want it is going to kill me.

And then I'm going to make national news as the very first victim of "death by blog":)

The fall packages are ALMOST complete.

Just a few more things...

Glee starts soon.

 I am so excited that it's keeping me up at night.

You know what word I hate?

 "Grimace".

Seriously, have you ever heard anyone say it?

And it always sounds annoying when written
. (No disrespect to that purple creature from McDonalds)

68 days until my parents go to Europe.

 Enjoy it, Europeans.

Things will never be the same after November 17th...

Lori Ann

Time after time

Ok, I'm obsessed with fall.

It's undoubtedly gotten BORING by now.

At least for all of you.

For me, it gets more thrilling by the day.

Here are some photos of my apartment.

 It's half way through the process of getting all 'falled up'.

This is a candle I got my sister Erin.

 I just wanted you to see what it looks like, Eri!

I love red sparkly drinks in the fall.

 I don't know why. 

This is cranberry and ginger ale!

I put up some lights! Both clear and orange.

  Lights and sparkly things make me feel like the holidays are about to begin!

There is some other stuff, but I'll let the anticipation build!

thanks for putting up with my fall obsession..you people rock!

Lori Ann

I'm with the band

My pet makes me breakfast 

That's the name of my band. 

Now all I need are band mates, instruments, and someone to sing. 

Lori Ann

I have a family here on Earth

So...

It all went down at work today, people. 

I won't get into detail because I just know I would the person who got fired for writing too much about work on her blog. 

However, the reason I bring it up is because, seriously..

Sometimes I have the BEST family ever.

I called my Dad crying because of work and he told me..and I quote "Get your license, and once its in your hands, I'm going to come down there to help you move home and then go and have a talk with those people". *when my dad says "have a talk", he means "intimidate someone with his size and  with threats of violence". *

My sister Erin immediately began berating the person I was talking about with all sorts of creative bad language. "Oh my gosh, what a #%*#Q &(#   &()# er! I am going to #$()#% his ()#$& and then #%()#% because he is such a &()$#&_ *  She then made a number of wild threats which I talked her down from, as I don't want to have to visit her in prison.:)

I then got a call from my other sister Danielle, who informed me that the person I was talking about "doesn't sound mentally stable" and that she felt like it must be hard for me, being smarter  than my coworkers (in her words) to have to sit there and listen to "their crap". 

My sisters told me that my mom was "fired up". 

My brother in law called me with his ideas for revenge. Thanks, Jackie. 

It is so amazing to have a family like that.

 To know that I have people who care about whether I had a bad day at work or not.

Who would defend me, even if I were in the wrong. 

I have sometimes wondered why I am in the family that I am.

There are moments when I feel like I don't belong.

That I am nothing like any of them. 

But it's moments like this that I know why I have the family that I do.

It was God's plan.

 He knew I needed them and they have always watched out for me. 

Thank you, guys.

 You are all so crazy, but that is what makes you amazing.

Lori Ann