The Insane Ramblings of a Whiny Younger Sister.

Memorial Day Weekend in Pictures

Danielle and Elly having a spa night.

 Katy later ate the cucumber slices, like the wild creature that she is!

It was hot and rainy all weekend.

 I swear PA has a monsoon season.

 Is summer over yet?

The "Ratters" as Aunt Erin has taken to calling her.

She was extra wild this weekend! 

The War memorial we take flowers to every year on Memorial day.

 It's so peaceful here.

The cross of flowers wasn't ours.

 We put blue American daisies.

 Elly's choice.

 Simple, but beautiful. 

It's in this cemetery.

 Which has soldiers buried here back through every war since the American Revolution. 

The graves on the other side are all faded and written in German.

Me and the Ratters.

 I photo shopped us.

 I love how it kind of looks like we are glowing and/or melting. 

Hasta manana, locas!

Lori Ann

Sugar Rush

Over the last twelve hours I have texted my sister Erin all of the following photos. 

When she says stuff like

"Never call me again!"

and

 "I'm going to change my number, I swear I am!",

what I think she means is

 "I need more Sugar, keep those pictures coming".

On a completely unrelated side note, I am back to reading my straight romance novels again.

 Oh yes, I took a strange foray into male romance novels.

 I'm sure this surprises no one as every other post is about my love of gay men.

I just didn't find them that satisfying.

 No one was a duchess, hiding from an arranged marriage, pretending to a be a governess.

 And no one was a spinster wall flower, who somehow makes a wicked earl fall in love with her.

 And no one was getting secretly pregnant with a Greek billionaire's love child. 

Everyone was a cowboy.

Or a cop.

Or sometimes both.

 And once a demon.

Yes, a demon.

Surprisingly enough,

 a (demon)cowboy dating a (red headed) cop isn't as romantic as one might assume. 

(Don't worry. Caleb ends up changing into a human at the end.  Because Jake's love saved him.)

Anyway, Sugar and I have to go to bed now.

Well, I have to go to bed, Sugar has to trounce around the bed and try and keep me awake.

Lori Ann

Again

Another Random Update..
(because my life has been hecka random lately)

1. My mother got into a fight with her stepmother via FAX today.

That's old school.

Usually when I want to start something up with someone I leave a message on their Facebook or I drive by their house shouting obscenities and/or threats.

But to fight by fax..that's classy.

2. I guess it's true that you can't shove someone out of the closet if they don't want to come out.

 That's a lesson I had to learn the hard way.

3. Sugar is mad.

 As in completely nuts.

 I'm considering having her evaluated by either the vet or a pet psychic.

Whichever is cheaper.

4. I'm having another one of my classic "older ladies" sleepovers tomorrow.

We are going to make lemonade slushies and watch Brokeback Mountain in my theater room.

And maybe get some veggie dogs.

 If we are feeling reckless.

5. I scheduled three people for the same appointment time today.

It was super awkward when they all showed up.

Not for me.

 For them..I was like,

"Hey, figure this out among yourselves.

There's only so much of the Lori magic to go around".

6. Speaking of clients I had the cutest CUTEST 9 year old boy in my office today.

 He was what I imagine an exact combination of my two nephews would look like.

 I wanted to smother him with kisses.

 I literally had to hold myself back.

 Dang professionalism ruins everything.

 "Don't bake the clients brownies, Lori...Don't paint the client's nails, Lori..Don't smother the client's with kisses, Lori...yada, yada, yada.."

Lori Ann

Ueber'm Sternenzelt dort oben!

Tuesday Night Updates

Sugar and I are going through Aunt Erin withdrawal.

 Sugar is missing all of the extra love and attention and I am missing the tater tots and french braids.

 Come back soon, Aunt Erin!!

Aunt Erin's pillow.
 (Sugar will only sleep on it now.)

I got so much done at work today.

Probably because I left my phone in the car.

Strangely enough without books, music, or Internet at my disposal I was able to accomplish quite a bit.

 I wonder what it would be like if I focused for 8 hours every day..you know, like they're paying me for???

I'm back on Facebook.

 Not because I missed it.

 I didn't.

 I just had to keep sending one or two messages to people I only communicate with via Facebook.

Dang, Facebook has gotten boring.

Like legit boring.

I've been a vegetarian for almost 5 full months.

Although the last month or so I have been more of a "junkatarian".

 I need to stop eating white bread and peanut butter sandwiches for every meal.

 It's not OK.

Peanut butter is not my friend.

I think

  my five favorite songs of all time are..

 1. In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel

2. It Came upon a Midnight Clear by MoTab

3. Breathe Me by Sia

4. Scar Tissue by Red Hot Chili Peppers and lastly

 5. Ode to Joy from Beethoven's 9th Symphony

I want to say "Seems Legit" after everything.

 If someone says

"I had a bad day"

 "Seems legit"

or

  "did you hear Jessica got engaged?"

"Seems legit"

or
 "That Thai food made me sick last night"

 "Seems legit"

 See??

 It works in every conversation! 

Oh my gosh, I had a dream last night that I was back in school and I hadn't gone to any of my classes for the first six weeks.

 I felt strange all morning, like I was going to have to bail myself out of a bad situation.

Lori Ann

You are my candy, girl

Your daily Sugar

Cats have it all - admiration, endless sleep, and company only when they want it.

Rod McKuen

Lori Ann

And you say she's just a friend

Random Wednesday Night Update

This is Sugar's life now that Aunt Erin is here.

 Donuts and sunshine, all day long.

 She's gotten even more deranged.

One of my clients taught me a new phrase to use randomly in every day conversation.

 It goes

"People call me a gold digger, but they just want what I have"

Imagine saying that to your grand mom who is calling to check on the kids, or the pizza boy at your door.

It's been making me laugh all week.

 My clients are awesome.

Me, Erin, and Danielle and the girls are having a fancy crafting weekend this weekend.

There will be chocolate, there will be a trip to Texas Roadhouse, there will be in depth psychoanalysis of my mother, and yes, there will be low quality crafting.

Erin keeps telling me that I need to live a more sophisticated life.

 So tonight she made me a veggie chicken pattie, tater tots, and lemonade.

The jokes on you, Erin.

I've been living this kind of sophistication for years now!

There may be karaoke happening tomorrow.

Or white trash bowling.

 I'll keep you posted.

Lori Ann

Mothers Day Post # 5 (one day late)

(My mom with all 8 of her siblings. She is the one in the back right, behind the two boys- wasn't she so pretty?)

Dun, dun, dun...the last of the mothers day posts! 

I couldn't write it yesterday because I was spending the day with my mother.

Dang life gets in the way of my blogging all to often.

This final post is for the most influential woman in my life. 

Terry Ann (Wilson) Hinsdale

My favorite memory of my mom changes with every year.

 I have so many. 

My newest favorite memory of my mom is of her telling me that I am the frosting in her life. 

I don't know why but it makes me so happy to hear that. 

When I was on my mission and I was stuck out in the predominantly Hispanic suburbs of Chicago with some crazy companion I would sing the song "lead kindly light" in my head and think of being home with my mom.

 Her baking bread and drinking diet coke.

Telling me to never trust a man.

Playing Elvis or Duane Eddy on the stereo.

Yelling at my dad to stop feeding the cats so much.

Bringing me room temperature ginger ale when I told her that I was feeling sick.

 Telling me that if whatever life plan I had at the moment didn't work out that she would love to have me come home. 

My Dad was the soul of our house and my childhood.

 He played music so loud the floors shook, taught me to value an education, to appreciate good steak and dry humor.

He shaped how I see the world.

My mom was the heart of our house and my childhood.

 She baked and she worried about us and she taught me how to survive.

 I have never once doubted her love for me

 She makes me feel special when all the world is telling me that I'm not.

Whatever confidence, charisma, and determination I have, I got from her.

 She shaped how I feel about the world. 

Thanks, Mom.

 For everything.

 You are the frosting in my life. 

Love,

your baby,

Lori Ann

p.s.- It took Erin less than 12 hours to win Sugar's allegiance. 12 hours, people. 

Mother's Day Post # 4- The Moses

The last Mother's Day post before I write the one to my actual mother. 

It's fitting that it should be for Danielle.
(aka the Eagle) 

I always tell her that I relentlessly seek her approval.

She tells me that I blame her for everything. 

So, yeah- there are some 'mother-daughter' elements to our relationship.

Anyway, I could write on and on about what an amazing mother Danielle is. 

She really is.

 She sacrifices, she worries, she encourages, she stays up late at night cleaning up the vomit of sick kids.

Her kids are kinda amazing and I think that's why they are hers.

Because she is kinda amazing as a mom.

And the one thing that I love the best about Danielle as a mom is that she gives me the chance to feel like a mom every once in a while.

She lets me take her kids to the park and rile them up.

 She lets me bake with them, no matter how much clean up it involves for her.

She saves the pictures they draw at school for me.

She tells me when the funny and sweet things they say about me. 

If it's the closest to being a mother that I get, it's more than enough.

My favorite Danielle memory is this one night, when we lived in this creepy, run down house in Michigan and our parents were gone for the night, we got really scared.

 Because; as I mentioned in my previous post, we watched WAY too much Unsolved Mysteries.

Anyway, I remember us feeling like there was someone or something in our bedroom and I remember Danielle having me and Eri stand behind her and she ran in and got our stuff.

 Then we said a prayer and went to someone in the ward's house for the rest of the night.

 Best. Older. Sister. Ever.

Happy Mother's Day, Danielle!!

Lori Ann

Mothers Day Post # 3- The Irish Twin

My sister Erin.

(aka the Bumble bee)

I've written many blog tributes to her.

 I've talked about her being my Irish twin, making me laugh, being a good listener. 

There's probably not a lot of things that I haven't already said. 

So, rather than a long tribute I will instead just share (one of) my favorite memories.

When I was about 8
 (making Erin 9 and Danielle 10) 

my mom used to send us to the store; at night, to get her sherbet.

 It was always sherbet.

And always at night.

 Not sure what the obsession was. 

But anyway, it was probably close to 3/4 mile to the store and it was through some woods, down a hill, behind the post office, a dimly lit bank parking lot and through the store's creepy, usually empty parking lot.

It was the 80's then, so maybe my mom felt like we would be safe.

But we didn't feel that way.

 Not  after hours of watching Unsolved Mysteries.
 (Which, now that I think about it, my mother made us watch...Note to self: Address this in therapy)

Each and every time we had to go
(and it was at least weekly)

 we thought that for sure, this time,

we were going to die. 

So, the three of us had a plan.
(Well, they had a plan and they outvoted me)

 In case of kidnapping and/or attempted murder.

 They run for help and leave me, since I was the slowest.

They'd be back with help within the next hour or two:)

So, I quickly began to associate sherbet with death.
(Note to self: Address this in therapy)

And every time we ran to the store, I was slower than them.

 I always fell behind.

Where the kidnappers could get me

But' despite being easily scared herself, every time Erin would stop for me.

She'd say "Come on, Lor" and wait for me to catch up.

Even if it was in the middle of the scary dark parking lot. 

She waited for me.

She didn't forget me.

And now, 20 some years later, it's still the same.

Thanks, Eri.
 (and yes, I will read this to you, holding your hand) :)

Lor

(aka The rabbit)

Mother's Day Post # 2- The Bean

I am blogging in the middle of the night, people.

I clearly need to cut back on the caffeine.

Anyway, on to my second Mother's Day post.

This one is about the one, the only...

 Elizabeth Mae Monroe

Known to friends and associates as

: Elly, Elly bean, The Bean, Lizard, and the redheaded menace. 

Elly is the only one of my sister's kids with any street cred. 

And if Katy is all of our good qualities wrapped into one person,

Elly is all of our  fun eccentricities. 

She's bossy like her mom, confrontational like her aunt Erin, weirdly into martial arts like Uncle David, and obsessed with decorating like me. 

Elly is all Monroe in her competitive spirit.

She has to be first in everything.

 Even if it's a game of who gets their pajamas on first-

Elly will trip you and knock you back down the stairs in order to get her Disney princess nightgown on fastest. 

Elly loves to both send and receive mail, she loves to plot world domination, and more than anything, she loves things that sparkle. 

My favorite Elly memory of all time is all the times I've woken up in Jack and Danielle's living room to see Elly staring down at me.

 And then asking me if we can make scones.

At 4 am. 

I almost think it's good that I don't have any kids because; for me, it doesn't get any better than Elly.

And how much would that mess a kid up to have their mom prefer their cousin?
(although, let me pledge to you now that should I have kids, I plan to mess them up way more than that. This will be one of their many issues)

I love you, Elly!

Love,

 Aunt Lori

Mothers Day Post # 1- The Kat Rat

People, it's less than  a week to Mother's Day.

 Also known as "D-Day" in the Hinsdale house.

As in the most important and terrifying day of all the year. 

Instead of treating you all to another week of posts just about my mom, I have decided to highlight the 5 most important women in my life.

 Anyone who reads this blog even casually should already know who I am talking about

My nieces, my sisters, and my mom.

To be honest, just about all of them hate these tribute blog things.

 They're not much for emotional declarations and such.

 But I want this blog to be; not just a record of my inane ramblings about Glee and Rock band, but also a format for me to leave nothing unsaid.

As a therapist I have really come to understand the power of speaking things out loud.

 And of supportive relationships.

 So few people have someone that loves them just as they are.

 I am blessed to have these women in my life.

That being said..let's begin with the craziest and the newest fabulous woman in my life...

the
infamous

 Katherine Danielle Monroe

Katy is important to me in a lot of ways.

 Not just because of who she is.

 She's fabulous and insane, all at the same time.

 But she's also important to me because, through her, I understand myself and my family in ways I never have before.

Seeing her being the youngest has given me some perspective on my own childhood.

 I've grumbled my whole life about being the youngest, being left out, targeted by my sisters, and accused of being spoiled.

Katy's plight as the youngest Monroe baby has given me a little glimpse into that time of childhood that I don't really remember.

She is frequently left out.

We even have a code for it- EBK- it means "everyone but Katy".

 Used in a sentence it might sound like this

 "I will take the kids to the park- well, EBK, of course".

She is targeted by her siblings, but mainly in response to her own craziness.

They would all pamper her unreservedly if she would just settle down a little.

 She inspires a lot of revenge plots..maybe I've even dreamed of getting even with her a time or two myself.

And, holy Hannah, she is spoiled.

 As in ROTTEN to the core.

It's like she's reliving my childhood.

 Except without the perms, weekly spankings and classic rock.

And I kind of get what my family means about me, seeing her.

The good and the bad. 

But she's not just like me- Katy is; more than any of Danielle's other kids, a perfect hodgepodge of everyone in our family.

She's loves animals, just like my dad and Erin.

She's feisty and a little nuts, just like my mom.

She's kind, just like David.

She's intelligent and determined, just like Danielle.

She's everything that's good about all of us.

Something about Katy reminds me of my childhood- catching fireflies in jars in our backyard, plotting to get pillow cases full of candy on Halloween, and watching the Muppet's under blankets on the living room floor on Saturday nights.

Something about her is as magic as those times were.

My favorite Katy memory of all time is this:

Thanks for being one of the four best things to ever happen to me!!

Love,

Aunt Lori

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!!

 It's time for Random Friday Night Life Updates.

 As usual, in the form of pictures and exciting captions!!

 This is my newest office poster.

 I got it out of the Ulta dumpster with my parents!!
 (I was heckled into getting into the dumpster...heckled by my own parents, people)

 I've been playing a whole heck of a lot of Rockband with my friends.

 Our favorite song is "Word Up".

Don't act like you don't know it!!

It's my BFF Jennie's boyfriend's birthday this weekend.

 In lieu of a gift or money or even homemade cupcakes I made him some coupons.

I think he's probably going to cry a little when he gets this gift!

 During play therapy today my clients drew this picture of all of our names:) So cute!!

 The aforementioned BFF Jennie.

I will have to do a whole post on her- everything from her car's awesome cup holders to her weird cat voice.

Jennie had to get chocolate wine for her boyfriend's party (who knew there was such a thing) so I; feeling totally rebellious, accompanied her into the liquor store.

 Good heavens- it was like another planet in there. 

And I swear I could hear my father's voice.

 It kept making me jump. 

And lastly, your daily Sugar.

 She is sleeping on my legs right now.

I love the Sugar Cookie!!

1 week until Erin gets here!! YAY!!!

Lori Ann