Every time she falls

This post is best accompanied by a little Maroon 5. Try not to be distracted by Adam Levine's hotness. :)

Age 22 to 25 are what I think of as the Songs about Jane years. 

Most people's cognitive development has them branching out into their own music around age 14. 

I didn't really find 'my music' until 22 or so. 

And it began with that album. Which is still my favorite album of all time. 

(closely followed by James Blunt, 'Back to Bedlam' and Joni Mitchell 'Blue')

ANYWAY,

When I got home from my mission, I was kind of depressed.

Even though I didn't want to be a missionary anymore, I didn't want to be home either.

I started working as a CNA again. At the same place I'd worked before my mission.

I couldn't go back to college until I paid off this small amount of money I owed. (which it seemed I could never save) and, for a little while, I kind of gave up on college.

I began thinking about being a CNA for the rest of my life. 

Most days, I loved being a CNA. It was physically demanding but very fulfilling in a lot of ways. 

I thought that this was going to be my life.

I bought my first car. A 1994 Nissan Altima. 

I lived with my parents. 

I got to see Danielle and her kids.

 (they lived in PA briefly at this time)

My Jamesaroni was born and he was the SWEETEST baby on Earth.

I liked my life. It was calm and steady.

But I was not moving forward in any way. And I think I was driving my parents crazy.

Then my mom told me that she had paid off my college so that I could go back. 

That single act changed my life. 

I went back to college in January of 2004. 

I met a million awesome friends. My roommate Alicia, my neighbors, and some amazing church friends. Almost all of them were from Colorado and it was very cool to get to know these girls who were from such a different place and lived such a different life than me.

They were all health nuts and strong, faithful Mormon girls and they made me look at life in a different way. They pushed me out of my comfort zone.

There was the Rodeo Queen vomit incident.

The time we smuggled in a cat to our dorm. Pouncer the wonder cat.

The Jesus statue fights.

The 6 weeks of Erin.

The Beehive house and June's be-otch incident.

The 'who, what, when, where, and why' craziness.

The weddings and the diet coke birthday.

So many amazing memories.

I would spend the next two years in Idaho, finally graduating with my Bachelors in Sociology and Spanish in 2005 at the age of 25.

But, between all those crazy semesters and finally getting my undergraduate degree, I did something else that changed my life.

I worked at summer camp.

Yes, summer camp. All the stories you hear about it are true!

I worked as the camp nurse for two summers (2004 and 2005).
(which is kind of scary as I only had CNA training)

It gave me a chance to come home, work for the 8 weeks I had free, make enough money to pay for housing, and then race back to school.

Those were the best summers of my life. 

The camp is so beautiful. It is in Chester County, PA. Amish country. There is a horse and buggy sign right outside of the camp and horse and buggy parking at the local supermarket.

It was every single day stunningly Pennsylvania beautiful.

This is the dock (Eri and I, of course, fell out of the canoe)

But even more amazing than the view were the friends that I made there. I had NEVER had friends like that. 

My family and church are amazing in so many ways and they are the foundation of who I am but I didn't know what unconditional acceptance and friendship were until I worked at camp.

For a lot of reasons, I had never really liked myself. 

But camp taught me to like myself. To see everything that was cool and interesting about me. 

The campers and other counselors would literally shout my name (which at camp was "moonbeam") across the camp. 

They kind of fixed something in me that I didn't know what broken. As cheesy as that sounds. 

I will always remember those summers. I will never regret that time I spent. My only tattoo is a tribute to those days and those friends. 

Random camp friends

Poor Forrest was the only male staff member.

The after camp parties were EPIC! (and i was STILL trying to be some level of blond!) Anyway, in the middle of all of this college and camp craziness, I fell in love. OK, maybe intense infatuation would be a better word. (Because I recognize that real love is being there for someone and 40 years of marriage and cleaning up their vomit and all of that.) But this was the first time in my life that I GOT poetry and love songs and I felt like I couldn't breath. I haven't been in love since. And I hate men so much (thanks, Mom!) that I don't think that I will ever be again. Which is OK. I'm glad I got the experience once. It's changed the way I see the world. How I see myself. It's given me memories I will never forget. And that's my life to 25. Next edition: Graduate school, Philadelphia, Colorado, and schizophrenic baking groups! MoonBeam

The after camp parties were EPIC! (and i was STILL trying to be some level of blond!)

Anyway, in the middle of all of this college and camp craziness, I fell in love.

OK, maybe intense infatuation would be a better word.

(Because I recognize that real love is being there for someone and 40 years of marriage and cleaning up their vomit and all of that.)

But this was the first time in my life that I GOT poetry and love songs and I felt like I couldn't breath.

I haven't been in love since.

And I hate men so much (thanks, Mom!) that I don't think that I will ever be again.

Which is OK. I'm glad I got the experience once.

It's changed the way I see the world. How I see myself. It's given me memories I will never forget.

And that's my life to 25.

Next edition: Graduate school, Philadelphia, Colorado, and schizophrenic baking groups!

MoonBeam