Strong words in the staff room...

My new job is crazy. Which I love. Keeps life interesting.

I think my boss (who is famous for sending people inappropriate text messages) may be self medicating. I am scheduling all of my meeting with him when he is on an upswing.

My coworkers all have cliques. I love clique warfare. (thanks, Pam!)

I have already started my own alliance with the clinical director and her assistant.

I have approached a few others about an alliance, but I think they are afraid...or they think I'm crazy. Which is a win-win for me.

I am giving myself 3 more weeks to accomplish the following:

Form and break numerous alliances

Stab, minimum, three people in the back

Be the object of both pity and scorn

Steal someones lunchable from the staff fridge

Make someone fall in love with me (piece of cake)

Convert at least 2/3rd's of the day treatment clients to "team Jacob"

I know what you are thinking...how am I going to convert teenage girls to "team Jacob"? With their love of emotional thinking and lack of insight into what makes a healthy relationship, they are all strongly team Edward.

Don't worry.

My middle name is Persuasion.

(Well, it's actually Ann...I going to add that to my list of stuff to get done, though..."change my middle name to Persuasion")

Lori Ann

Blah, blah, blah

I start my new job tomorrow. It's with the same agency, just in a different department.

I am sure that I have mentioned it before, but I am working on getting my LCSW.

 

Licensed Clinical Social Worker.

 

To get this, you have to have a Masters Degree in Social Work and then two years of supervised experience and then the state exam.

If I pass the exam, I will be an LCSW this October.

This means that I can open my own practice, if I want. (as a therapist)

I don't have that kind of enterprising spirit though:)

Anyway, the reason I mention all of this is because I hope that this new job will teach me alot. I will be doing group, individual, and family counseling.

The group therapy that I will be doing will be what are called "process groups". Kind of like AA, where you say your name and everyone says "hi" and the topic is very much directed by the group members.

I've never really done this sort of group before. Everything I have done has been "psycho-educational"...like groups ABOUT something: self esteem, education, etc.

 

I am not at all nervous. Which is strange for me.

I think that talking to and engaging with people is the one area of my life in which I am completely confident in my abilities.

I can't talk about confidence without thinking of this quote "Your over confidence is your weakness"..."Your faith in your friends is yours!" (Return of the Jedi, baby!)

Wish me luck tomorrow!!

Lori Ann

Today, "the man" smacked me in the face..

The Harry Potter glasses I am going to make my kids wear!


So,

Trying to be a responsible adult, I made myself an eye appointment and went to see the optometrist today.


And by "optometrist", I mean "Satan's revenue collector"



I went in thinking it was going to cost me 25 dollars..how wrong I was.


25 for the co-pay, 77 for the contact lens exam (had no idea it was seperate charge or I wouldn't have gotten it), 30 for them to take a picture of my eyes, and 110 for contacts. I wanted to get new glasses, but (with my insurance) the glasses would have cost me close to 400 dollars.


So, I guess I am lucky it was only 240 something, instead of the 600 + it would have been if I had gotten glasses.

Sheesh.

I'm not too concerned though..I figure Obama will be paying for my lasik surgery soon.

So, it's all good.

Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts..

I don't hate people.

I don't believe that rich people deserve better health than poor people.

I think insurance companies are kind of evil and have been the victim of their run around.

That being said.

I hate, hate, hate that this Health Care bill passed tonight in the House.

 

I work for a community support agency that receives most of its funding from Medicaid. I can tell you that, just in my company alone, there are thousands of dollars that go to abuse, waste, and even fraud.

Not only that, but a lot of the people that I work with- the families- they are people who are completely supported by government run programs.

 

They live in subsidized housing with no rent, get utility assistance, food stamps, and free child care.

Most, through their own admission or attitude, don't appreciate it. I've had clients trash the apartments they don't pay rent on, use their disability money to buy expensive gaming systems and cigarettes, sell their food stamps for cigarette and alcohol money, and complain about the 2 hours a day they spend with their kids after school and day care.

LET ME BE CLEAR: This isn't everyone. Some people haven't been raised to really do or expect better, some are genuinely down on their luck, and others are trying their best to do better for their kids.

But they are the minority, not the majority.

The reason I am bringing this up is not to trash low income people or whine about my job (which I love) but to bring to light the kind of problems with a government run program.

 

There is never sufficient oversight. The more that is given, the more that is expected. People don't progress, because they are cushioned in this safety net, which both saves them and imprisons them.

 

I don't think that these are the results that the government had in mind when it put these programs into place.

 

As my sister Danielle said "They are killing initiative".

I don't have an answer for health care.

I just know it isn't this.

Lori Ann

*post edit*

Someone named Curt S. wrote this comment on one of my friend's facebook page and I thought it said it all so much more eloquently than I ever could:

 

First, regarding caring for those who can't care for themselves; the Christian practice requires choice on the part of the giver, otherwise we're reverting to Satan's plan. Most people agree that we should care for the poor, and an analysis of charitable giving around the world shows Americans to be the most ... See Moregiving of any other country (I don't have a reference now, but have seen this cited multiple places). It's not that we don't want to help, it's that we don't want the government stealing from us and doing it through an expensive and ineffective beuraucracy.

Second, in reference to the insurance requirement; are you required to own a car and drive? No, it's a privelege that has a cost. Further, the only insurance you're required to have (and this by the state and not the federal government) is liability insurance to protect others that you may harm, not to protect yourself. This new requirement forces every living citezen to purchase insurance, regardless of the need or desire. I desire to drive so I pay the cost. Under this plan, no matter how healthy I may be, I have to buy a service that I don't want or need.

While I recognize the need for changes in the healthcare environment, I don't ever believe the government is he answer. Our nation was founded on principles of limited federal government and maximum personal liberty. A strict reading of the constitution and the writings of the founders shows that they never intended Congress to have such an active and forceful role in the lives of the citizens of this nation.

Nobody knows it..Part 6 of 6

To my sister Eri,

You are the only person that I can talk to about  anything.

You never forget me.

You are funny, smart, and so fun.

I remember when you came home the Christmas before last, when I got you that plane ticket at like midnight on Christmas Eve..it was like, the party couldn't start until you got there.

You make everything more fun.

You are probably the best listener I have ever met.

 You not only take the time to sit and listen, you empathize.

You make me feel like I have been heard and understood.

You care about animals..even fat and lazy cats.

You are the only white girl I know who can dance.

There are too many memories for me to ever list here. 

We have spent the worst and best days of our lives together.

 From Dublin Village Apartments to Lower to Mormon Camp to Non Mormon Camp to Rexburg to Beaver Creek and on and on..

I know that sometimes you feel inadequate or different, but you shouldn't.

 Because I wish I was even half the person you are.

You have inherited Mom's charisma and Dad's cool factor.

You are the 'sunshine' to my 'moonbeam'

There is no one in the world I would rather have as my Irish twin.

The "real" Lor

These are my confessions..Part 2

It's Friday, so I guess I will confess:

I am slowly turning into my clients (who are, for the most part, 15 year old boys)

I stayed up late last night, eating gummi bears, drinking coke, and playing super mario brothers on the Wii

I spend WAY too much time thinking about song selection for American Idol contestants

But seriously, it's Rolling Stones week next week and there are some songs that had better be chosen...I'm looking at you, 19th Nervous Breakdown!

Yesterday, my niece said to me "Aunt Lori, we DO NOT eat poop"

What kind of life am I living that she felt the need to give me that reminder?

I keep rereading Hunger Games, hoping that it will make the third book in the series somehow get published faster

I want someone else I know to watch Glee..then we can obsess about it together!

I love more temperate weather, but I have always hated Spring...something about the pastels and Easter hats and fake green grass in Easter baskets..it makes me angry

Maybe because I know it's a harbinger of things to come..the dreaded SUMMER
Except for the 4th of July, I despise sum.mer!

 The heat..my gosh, the heat!
 

Lori Ann

p.s.- I will complete my final two blog tributes tomorrow..yeah, now you've got something to look forward to this weekend, don't you? :)

The only person I would ever seriously stalk..besides you!

Oh man, I didn't know it was today, or I would have dressed up...it's Chuck Norris's birthday, people. Today, he is 70!

You know what that means, my favorite facts about the Chuckster!
 (most of these also apply to my mother, strangely enough)


Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. . .

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill. .

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it. ".

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Lori Ann 

J..J...J...J...Junior!! Part 5 of 6

To my only brother,

Junior.

 You and I have had a tempestuous relationship.

 Maybe it is that I am the youngest and you are the only boy..therefore we compete for 'special child' status.

Anyway, there is so much I want to say

. So many memories.

 Maybe I will list all of my favorite Junior quotes and memories...here we go...

1. "Umm...my name isn't Junior..you can call me Dave"

2. My dear brother Numpsie...Key, Dr Hong, my brother has forgiven me!

3. Getting your mission call and you opening it by the carts at Acme

4. Being in college together and all of my friends thinking you were cool!

5. All of our movie parties. There is nothing more fun than a Junior/ Lori Movie party, with popcorn and coke:)

6. All the packages you send the kids! they love their Uncle David..the only thing they love more than your packages is spending time playing with you. You are the only one who really gets on their level and enjoys that play time with them

7. You starting my nickname "Oreo" by calling me "ori" and also always telling me that I was a 'tangy baby"

8. Which leads us to our song "tainted love"

9. You getting your Eagle Scout. What a great night for all of us!

10. You being the first missionary on either side of our families. You set a great example for me.

There is so much more I could say.

David, you are one of the most Christ like people I know and I have learned alot from you, whether you realize it or not.

I am so proud of you and know that the future only hold great things for my big brother:)

Thanks for being so great.

and just for today..I will sign off as, your sister,

Lumpo

Hookers, booze, shooting holes in the ceiling..Part 4 of 6

To my oldest sister Danielle

This will be the most difficult blog eulogy-esque tribute.

 I know you hate this kind of crap, but, oh well.

 You are getting a tribute anyway, fear monger!

If you had asked me, before this life, who I would chose as a best friend, I would probably have said " a really handsome gay man, who is funny, sensitive, and may one day be the father of my child".

However, no one asked me, so I got two older sisters as best friends.

Which, while not as cool as the gay guy scenario, has been a pretty good runner up.

Danielle is my Moses.

I have told her this several times, but I doubt she really gets it.

 She has always been my example in everything and led me to my own promised lands- Chicago, my mission field, Idaho-for undergrad, Philadelphia-for graduate school, and last but not least, Europe-you saved my money and made me believe it was possible.

Because of YOU, I know what Rome looks like at sunset.

Because of YOU, I have my Masters degree

. Because of YOU, hundreds of people in Chicago learned more about the gospel and I know of at least one of my mission families that went to the Temple together.

If I didn't have you as a sister, I know I would still be working at the Redners Warehouse Market in Quakertown, living with Mom and Dad, spending my paycheck on swiss cake roles for my breaks. 

Danielle was the first girl in our branch to serve a mission and since her there have been like 9 or 10..in a small branch.

Danielle was the first sister missionary in all of our extended family on both sides.

She was the first person in our family to graduate college.

Beyond that, Danielle makes me laugh.

We have exactly the same kind of sense of humor and all it takes is one word or one line of movie dialogue to make us both laugh.

I could say " I'm in a mood" and she would immediately reply "A real bad mood, I got fired from my ice cream truck job today" :)

Danielle, over the last several years, has been an example to me of what kind of a mother I would want to be.

She is patience and kindness personified.

If they were going to make a made for TV movie about her life, I think she would be played by Julia Stiles.

Thanks for everything, beast!

Lori Ann 

suffocated kumquat wraps.. Part 3 of 6.

Jack Monroe.

Where do I begin?

 Jack is my first and only brother in law
 (until Erin marries one or all of the remaining single members of N'Sync)

I could write about the fun game nights where I have beaten him at Settlers of Catan, or of the family dinners where I have painstakingly prepared gourmet meals for him and my sister.

 But, this tribute isn't to me, after all:)

So, instead, I will tell you all of the very un-Hinsdale qualities that Jack has brought into our family!

1. Extreme fiscal responsibility. We Hinsdales are impulse shoppers. You couldn't get Jack to impulse purchase a snickers bar!

2. Non grudge holdingness- This style of communication was very unsettling to all of us Hinsdales. At holiday gatherings, when we all sit around and list the ways we have been wronged by everyone else, Jackie just sits there, smiling and laid back. I have attempted to remind him of when others have wronged him and encourage him to be passive aggressive and never miss an opportunity to throw it in their face..but he won't. *sigh* None of us can stay mad at him because he REFUSES to stay mad at us!

3. Literalness. There is just a little tiny bit of Dwight Shrute in Jack. I'll say "Well, I can babysit but don't enjoy your freedom so much that you take off for the coast or anything" to which he will reply "why would we go to the coast? It's too cold to swim and gas prices are way too high to drive that far if we aren't even going to swim"

4. Harry Potter. I will always be grateful to him for that. Not grateful enough to ever go to a Trekkie convention or anything (which is the path he and Danielle are headed down with all the sci fi reading..let it be known that I warned them!)

There are a million more things I could list. Jack is such a great guy.

 He is a great husband to my sister and a wonderful father to my nieces and nephews.

Thanks for marrying the beast, Jackie! Eres lo mejor cunado del mundo!!

Lori Ann

These are my confessions..

Ok, I am feeling really passive aggressive today, so it seemed like a good time to take a break from tributes and CONFESS:)

My friend Melissa does Friday confessionals..you should check her out:)

I confess:

I have always said that I am so glad to have been raised by my parents, they taught me alot, etc.

 But I am beginning to change my mind because, while my parents raised me to defer to other people, show everyone respect, and be polite, apparently most people around me were raised to be complete a&(@h&@$^s!

Case in point: my neighbors.

I live in an apartment complex that has numbered parking spots.

 We have all gotten several notices about only parking in YOUR spot.

 Which I NEVER fail to do.

 My spot isn't super close to my door, but even if there are no other cars in the lot, I PARK IN MY SPOT.

 And yet, my neighbors and 20 of their closest friends feel like its ok for me to move out to guest parking, because they need my spot.

 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 I hate my neighbors!!!!!!!!!!!

I confess:

It bothers me that I write blog tributes to people and then they don't even write a comment on them.

I confess:

I have finally realized something about my family: each person in my family has a side that I LOVE and a side that I don't like very much.

Do you see what I mean?

 PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE.

Oh well, if you can't say what you are thinking on your blog, where can you? :)

Lori Ann

How do you thank someone who has taken you from crayons to perfume..Part 2 of 6

To my mom

I wish I had the words to convey my feelings of gratitude to you for being my mother.

 God could not have chosen anyone better.

There are so many things I have never said thank you for.

I want to say: thanks for giving up your pride at times to take care of us.

Thanks for paying off my tuition so that I could go back to school.

 Thanks for that St. Patricks day package you sent me.

 Thanks for doing the 12 days of Christmas with Pat Pifer with me.

 Thanks for all the times you helped me lift, turn, or pick someone up off the floor.

Thanks for dressing me up for kindergarten.

 Thanks for buying me a cabbage patch kid.

Thanks for not freaking out when I crashed you and Dad's only car.

 Thanks for bringing us to clean model homes, clean carpets, and deliver papers.

 Those are some of the fondest memories I have of my childhood.

Thanks for teaching me how to work.

 Thanks for teaching me to count only on myself.

 Thanks for teaching me to love Elvis and Cher.

Thanks for all the homemade dresses.

Thanks for trying so hard to have nice stuff for us.

Thanks for coming to see me in Romeo and Juliet.

 Thanks for giving my nieces and nephews the grandmom that we never had.

Thanks for surprising me on my 30th birthday.

I know there are a million things that you did for me that I don't even know about.

Sleepless nights, trips to the ER, stuff you went without to give me the things I needed and wanted.

No matter what, no matter the issues that we don't see eye to eye on, or whatever our family history, to me- you are an angel.

When I think of my childhood, I think of you.

The "I can't = I won't" poster, the long days of perms, the cookie baking, exercising to Jane Fonda, staying up late to watch Miss America, you and Dad scaring us, closing up Pizza Hut and then eating late at Perkins.

You destroying the bathroom, looking for somewhere to live in Wildwood, taking a taxi to my choir concert, pushing me up the hill in Rexburg in my wheelchair.

I could go on forever.

Thanks, Mom.

Lori Ann 

Grab your things, I've come to take you home...Part 1 of 6

To my dad

There are a million thoughts that come to my mind when I think of you.

Of all the people in my family, I have the strongest associations of home and family with you.

 Maybe because you would make us oatmeal with brown sugar on snow days, or because I feel so safe whenever you are around.

You taught me so much about life, and the older I get, the more I appreciate it.

 I appreciate the hours and hours you took to teach me that I could achieve anything I ever dreamed of.

I appreciate the hours and hours you worked in the hot sun to provide for me.

I love how much you love music.

I love that you taught me to appreciate Mozart, Beethoven, Pink Floyd, Dire Straights, Santana and a million others.

I love your advice.

Sometimes I think up something to ask about, just because I love to hear you say "You know, Oreo..you get out of line and "the man" is going to knock you back in place".

Everywhere I went in Europe, I wished you were there.

 When I was sitting on the benches in the Vatican, looking up at the Sistine Chapel ceiling, I wished a hundred times over that you were looking up with me, because you know just how to capture the magnitude of such moments.

My favorite moments in Europe where when we drove by Verona and they played "Romeo and Juliet" by Dire Straits and when my tour bus in London drove by Speakers Corner and I stood up and shrieked "There's Speakers Corner!"

You were always right about everything.

 If I could go back to childhood and adolescence, I would follow you around with a notebook, recording everything you said.

I know that if I am ever in a bad situation, you could save me.

I love that you and Mom bought me furniture for my first apartment and that you carried it across the street on your back.

 I felt like a kindergartner, thinking "Look what my dad can do, I bet your dad can't do that!"

I think you are brave and smart and wise.

 I tell my clients endless stories about you and I wish I could give them the same kind of father that I had.

I get my love of nature from you.

I get my love of animals from you.

 I get my love of history from you (and Mom).

You taught me to serve without having any expectations in return.

 You taught me that living a life of fairness and integrity is more important than 'getting ahead'.

Thanks for taking away the TV so that we would all become readers.

Thanks for every single lecture on education.

 Thanks for knowing my teachers and guidance counselors on a first name basis.

 Thanks for going prom dress shopping with me.

Thanks for letting me live with you in grad school.

Thanks for the dance skills I inherited from you.

I love you. 

It's hard for me to say that.

 It feels weird, because we are not that kind of family.

 But, you are almost sixty and already have one foot in the grave so I thought I'd better tell you soon:)

Thanks for being my dad.

 I couldn't have asked for more.

Oreo

Por mi gente

A few weeks ago, my sister Erin wrote a blog tribute to me.

 I have since printed it out and hung it up on my wall.

It was amazing.

I have never really written tributes to any of my family members.

So, I have decided to write one for each of them.

 I want to tell them all the things that are usually reserved for eulogies.

I have 2 parents, two sisters, and two brothers.

Yep, even Jack (technically my brother in law) gets a tribute. (Lucky him)

One a day for six days, starting with my dad and working down to my Irish twin.

This will not be easy.

I come from a family that does not prize 'sentimenal crap'.

However, I do.

 So, you can laugh it up and be snarky, but you're still getting a tribute!!

Each tribute will be titled with a lyric from the song that reminds me most of that person.

You're up first, old man.

 Get ready:)

Lori Ann