Saturday, March 5, 2011

Ectasy

Ok, people. 

Today's topic is very near and dear to my heart.

Romance novels 

For years they were my favorite form of fiction.

 I still read them, but they are now mixed in with literature, Harry Potter, poetry, Harry Potter, etc.

I usually buy books at thrift stores, because nothing burns me more than paying $7.99 for a book at Walmart or Barnes and Noble, then finding it to be a total waste of time and money.

Books that are only .49 cents don't have the power to burn you in that same fashion.

UNTIL TODAY.

I swear I am going back to that thrift store and demanding my .49 cents back. 

Because of this...


Ok, so I bought this book because the thrift store didn't have anything else even vaguely interesting and I have always harbored a belief that; one day, a rich and handsome man will ask me to travel the world with him.

 Of course, most wealthy businessmen do not require the services of a travelling social worker, but lets not forget that I am also a licensed therapist. 

Which would make this man mentally ill, but whatever. This is my dream, people!

ANYWAY,

The girl from this book is named Suzy.

 Suzy made me hate her so much I kept throwing the book down and screaming, "I hate you, Suzy!"

Behold the evilness of Suzy:

1. Suzy had been married before and widowed.

 Her first husband became disabled in an accident and killed himself a year later, so as not to be a burden on her.

She admitted to feeling a huge sense of RELIEF upon finding his body.

2. Suzy, once having left the town she grew up in, immediately began expressing her disdain for everyone in her town, calling them "provincial" but most especially her family.

She booked herself and her boss (now husband) into a hotel so that he wouldn't have to be subjected to her parents guest bedroom.

She told her sister that she was "the size of a house", complained about her "noisy and sticky" nieces and nephews, and raged at her mother for making them sit down to tea and then later dinner.

 Which brings us to point number 3..

3. Suzy very quickly embraced anorexia during the course of this book.

 Getting steadily slimmer, signing up for excessive classes at the gym.
(all as a response to her boss telling her she wasn't fit)

 She; on several occasions, sneers at others who are eating.

 It's quite disturbing actually.

I could keep going.

 There was her plot to get secretly pregnant by her boss and run away, her side romance with a french Casanova, her tendency to spend large amounts of "work" time tanning and buying knock off designer clothes. 

The hero of this book wasn't much better.

 He had mistresses on every continent, constantly referred to himself as a 'citizen of the world' in a condescending manner, and was so critical of every one's eating habits.

 So bizarre. 

I hope you are all having a festive and entertaining Saturday!!

 I am headed back to bed with my copy of Deathly Hallows. 

Pure bliss.

Lori Ann

7 comments:

  1. Please send me this book, I think I would love to hate it as much as I love to hate The Bachelor and Wife Swap. I'll pay for shipping!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I will totally send it to you! It's so bizarre! Facebook me your address again and I will send it this week with some random candy. (and maybe some alcohol- this isn't something you should read sober!)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my gosh I can't wait! The anticipation of getting something in the mail besides bills and adds might just kill me!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love, love, love that all these years later the passion for Harlequin romance novels is still going strong.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So, are you saying there is something wrong with a book that celebrates eating disorders, shame for your family, being worldly and having many mistresses or French "friends?"

    ReplyDelete