Stipe's not far behind

Random Thoughts on a Tuesday Afternoon

1.  Today I smelled some chocolate chip cookies. They smelled like happiness.

2.  The only thing I can officially wear in smaller sizes so far are shoes. It will be nice getting back into my 7 1/2's, baby!

3. I am going to work out tonight. For the third time in less than a week, baby! (note to self: stop adding "baby" to the end of every sentence...baby!)

4. I have stopped reading trashy novels, people. They don't really appeal to me anymore. Mainly because I have transitioned to even more forbidden romances. Gay Amish boys. A werewolf and a vampire. Stories of rakish earls and spirited debutantes aren't thrilling enough. I wonder what the ultimate forbidden romance would be? A gay Amish werewolf and a straight, vegan Agnostic vampire?

5. One could be named Ferdinand. And the other would be Jedidiah.

6. And they could settle on respecting each other's religious views. Sometimes Ferdinand could come to church with Jedidiah..if the Amish were cool with that. But maybe Jedidiah would only tell Ferdinand he was going to hell like once a month, tops.

7. And they could have a car, but only use it on weekends or midnight taco bell runs. And they'd have a cat. And the Ferdinand would agree that the cat could have as much dairy as it wanted.  

8. And they wouldn't eat meat...unless it was a farm animal that Ferdinand took a personal disliking to.

9. Well, Ferdinand wouldn't eat it anyway, because he's a vampire.

This book is writing itself. It kind of feels like the next great American novel already, doesn't it?

Lori Ann

She smiled at me on the subway

To my dear and sweet niece Katherine (also know as Katy, Kat Rat, Ratty, Katy Kat, deal breaker, etc)

Another year has gone by.

Spring is here again and you are 5.

Most days it feels like I just blinked and years have gone by.

There are a lot of things I could say today. So many stories to tell.

From our secret passage walks to evil teddy bears to our youngest child power struggles.

When (or maybe if) you read this years from now, I hope you'll know those stories by heart.

So instead, I will just tell you what I should say every time I see you.

You are beautiful, Katy.

You are so kind.

You never forget anyone.

I am so proud of you.

In the words of Marilla Cuthbert:

"He knew we needed her."

God knew that we needed you, Katy-girl.

Love Always,

Aunt Lori

Who's that casting devious stares in my direction?

You guys..I take WAY too many pictures. And now I have my FAVORITE Monrobie video to date to prove it. 

It's amazing that some movie studio hasn't snapped me up yet. I'm sure they've seen my work by this point. 

Also..before the video, I am officially on Twitter. @lorihinsdale. I'm following the church twitter and all the judges from The Voice. You know..the important people. Look me up, bitches....ummm...my good people. (My nephew James asked me why I curse on my blog. Yikes. Here's to a family friendly Spinster Chronicles!) 

Without further ado...

Lori Ann

Some forever

In a few days, I will write a birthday tribute for this crazy girl. But; in the meantime, here is a (sad but cute) video of my true protege and fellow youngest child- the infamous Katherine Monroe!

Lori Ann

Lann (my kinda tribute to Cjane)

You know how when some people lose weight they start to get a little delusional and get glamour shots and all of that? 

That is so the direction me and this blog are headed in. 

Enjoy these emo inspired self portraits. There is plenty more where this came from:) 

I like this one because this is how I look at my clients when they are talking to me. Vaguely  amused with a hint of poorly concealed rage. 

This is my emo favorite. I wasn't thinking about death or  my anger towards 'the man'. I was thinking more about my sugar free tropical Popsicles. 

This is the day that Danielle flat ironed my hair. My favorite gay boys complimented me on it!! 

Lori Ann

So I travel back down that road

You guys...

I walked 2.2 miles this morning!!!

This is me looking sweaty and crazy. Why is my hair soooo bizarre?

Which; for you health nuts (or even you regular people) probably doesn't sound too impressive. 

For me, it was amazing. I think I am finally getting it. That nothing feels better than good health and the ability to do the things you want to do.

I went on a few walks and to the park with my nieces and nephews this weekend and it was SO NICE.

I can finally be the aunt that I have always wanted to be. 

That's probably my favorite thing about losing weight and getting healthier. 

I think they've probably been photographed more than most celebrity children at this point:) 

Yesterday; after we left the park and we were on to our next activity (because I've got the energy to do more than one hour with the kids now), I heard Elly whisper to herself 

"Best day ever!".

I'll take one Elly's  'best day evers'  over one box of donuts any day!!

Lori Ann

p.s.- I am 85 down from my all time high. If you need to end our friendship because the jealously is consuming you, I totally get it. :) 

I love you more

Random Thoughts on a rainy Friday afternoon

I have been working feverishly on discharges from my client list. I think I have some kind of work related spring cleaning obsession.

Too bad it doesn't extend to any actual cleaning.

Today I packed a V8 for lunch. I just don't understand people who don't love V8.

Do you think it's bothering people in the office next to me that I keep listening to a medley of Corrine Bailey Ray and the Beatles?

Personally, I think the loud banging on the wall is their way of saying "Play Paperback Writer one more time, please!"

Tonight I plan to do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Best. Plan. Ever.

We are taking the kids to DC next weekend. Once we can be sure that there are absolutely NO cherry blossoms left.

I love spring. Not because it's spring but because the weather (at least in early spring) reminds me of fall. And I keep telling myself "We just have to get through a few months until fall!"

Listening to Stand by Me (which my ipad just shuffled to) always makes me feels super philosophical and kind of sad about how fast my nieces/nephews are growing up.

I should use more music in my work. How would you feel if your therapist said "We're going to start today's session with an acoustic version of Sweet Child of Mine?"

You'd probably be pretty psyched. I don't know why I am even asking.

Lori Ann

These are my confessions

Ok, so...

There is a lot of craziness going on in my life right now.

I am trying to get my health in order...which I should have done a million years ago, but whatever.

Which brings me to today's cringingly horrific personal confession.

I finally made myself go to the gynecologist.

*what direction is this blog going in? Yikes!*

Anyway, I had talked myself out of it for years.

After all,

I'm not getting married.

I'm not having kids.

I'm not having a lot of sex.

What was the point of subjecting myself?

Ugh. Then I grew up and decided that I couldn't rely on my old health plan which I like to call "Eh..everything will probably be fine".

And if I ever want to have some gay man's baby late in life, I need to be responsible.

 (You should know that I completely plan for this to happen- prepare to come to my baby shower in about 10 years)

So..this may be the most uncomfortable Spinster Chronicle post to date. Yeah...

Lori Ann

p.s.- I was waiting and waiting for the questions about how many sexual partners I have had..I had a few ideas floating around in my mind.. I was going to say either "17", "do red headed men count?" or "trust me, more than you".  But alas, the question never came. Damn it.

I closed my eyes and I slipped away

I try to avoid blogging about serious issues. Or controversial issues.

One, because I am conflict avoidant.

and B because it usually gets me a call from my older sisters.

"Lor...should you really blog about that time you killed a porcupine and how you don't even really feel guilty?"

But I am not going to let either of those two things stop me today.

Did you hear about the Boston Marathon?

I know that they aren't sure who did it yet or if it is terrorism related but just the fact that it happened makes me sad and angry.

I feel like our country has been going in the wrong direction for a while now. And while I strongly believe that government is neither the cause of nor the solution to all of our ills, I feel that everything has stayed the same or has gotten worse under Obama.

People still can't find jobs. I don't feel any safer. My pay has stayed the same for 5 years. My nieces and nephews education isn't improving. Gas prices are still high. I pay more in taxes. More of my clients are on welfare. Energy and food cost more. Health care is going to cost me more and be less available starting next year. I feel like people are less willing to listen to each other and more rapid in their defense of their ideological perspective. Even the press is less vigilant and open.

More than all of that I just see an increasing amount of hopelessness in the people I know and the people I work with.

People who have always been good with their money and been responsible are having to foreclose. People who have played by the rules and paid their dues are not getting ahead- or even staying afloat really.

Maybe I am overgeneralizing or just looking for a reason to vent and using the tragedy of the marathon bombing as an excuse. Which I really shouldn't do.

Maybe it wouldn't bother me so much if he hadn't promised "hope and change".

Part of me; the not-so-secretly hidden liberal part of me that drove me into social work, wanted to believe that. Was excited for that.

This may seem unfair and ignorant, but its just how I am feeling today.

Lori Ann

The rain stains the brick a darker red

Random Thoughts on a beautiful Sunday evening

I was enraged about missing the cherry blossoms in DC. Until Shannon Tyler Brewer changed the way I view cherry blossoms forever. Thanks, Tyler!

I am 80 lbs down from my all time high.This news would be more exciting if I didn't still have a long way to go. 

When I get to 100 lbs lost, I am going to have a '100 party'. Consider yourselves invited.

I'll be wearing this blue outfit! Hot Tamale!

I had fun with my nieces this weekend. There is a part of me that is really sad that I don't have a strong relationship with any of my aunts. My mom has four sisters and my dad has one. I don't really know any of them and haven't spoken to them in years. 

Only my nieces would chose orange and gold as their nail polish colors

Listening to Ani DiFranco makes me blog in a more hostile tone.

I went on a little walking adventure with Elly and Jack Jack this afternoon. I find them both to be endlessly fascinating. I doubt they will remember these days but my time with them will always be the most cherished memories of my life. 

This is actually Elly and Katy. I didn't take pictures today.


Lori Ann

This time I'm not leaving without you

Ok, so...

I don't know how I ended up a therapist.

I don't really have the right temperament for it.

Or that natural insight into people and what drives behavior.

My sister Erin is AMAZING at that. She would be a completely kick ass therapist.

I really have more of the temperament and insight of an angry PM kindergarten bus driver.

I am not making these statements "emo facebook status" style- desperately seeking reassurance.

I am just stating that sometimes I wish I could have my dream job- being paid to nap and make prank phone calls.

My diet is going ok.

I had string cheese for lunch yesterday. And it was flavorless.

But that didn't stop me from feeling enraged when I saw that someone stole my string cheese for lunch today.

I am off sugar, caffeine, and mostly carbs.

All the tools God gave us to be happy.

And now..no string cheese.

Aren't you all glad I made the decision to blog more?

There are countless more posts coming, just like this one.

Brace yourselves;)

Lori Ann

Any other day of the week is fine

Random Monday Afternoon Updates

1. I keep fighting the urge to update my facebook status in the format of star trek "Captain's Log, star date 4/8/2013...Operation " I can take benadryl before work, I will be fine" proved to be massive failure. Will commence Operation "Caffeine, caffeine, caffeine" at 1300 hours..

2. Don't steal that idea from me. I know you want to!!

3.  I am doing what is called  Open Access at work today. It's where you meet with whoever walks in off the street for an appointment. Some days you only get 2 people. Some days you get 8 in a row. It's like a horrible Russian roulette...well..I guess Russian roulette itself is; by definition, horrible..anyway..

4. It's going to be 80 degrees tomorrow. This enrages me. I hate, hate, hate all the people who moan and whine about 'when is Spring coming?' I always want to say "Oh, don't worry. It will be here before you know it, with its INSUFFERABLE heat. Let's just enjoy this chilly breezes for another day or two, for the love of all that is holy!"

5. Another appointment just popped up on my schedule. I am going to petition to be allowed to enter "Blogging and staring out the window into other people's offices" into my daily schedule. I think 3 or 4 hours of the day should cover it.

Bye

Lori Ann

I can see it in your eyes

Life has been crazy lately.

I hate the way this blog is going. Where the posts are increasingly less focused and less frequent.

I haven't given up my love for blogging. I'm too narcasitic for that.

So; once again, I vow to blog more frequently. Maybe I will try to hit every single day of April (besides the first and second , of course)

And I will be blogging about important stuff too. Love. Life. Revenge. How generic crystal lite stabbed me in the back.

All the important stuff.

For now,  I will catch you up on my life via a series of photos.

Now..this is the moment when I usually get really excited reading a post..."Oh good, here come strangely posed pictures of groups of people I know nothing about! Sweet!

This lasted for literally 2 seconds. Trying to get pictures of my sister's  children is like being a  wild life photographer
They can't be caged or tied down:)  

Two cutest girls IN THE WHOLE WORLD!

I just love this one. James; surrounded by women. I think this will be the story of his life. 

Elly won 1000 tickets at our last trip to the arcade.  We've just got that lucky gene. Like when I won 40 dollars in Vegas.

I was on vacation for one week and came back to this- 59 emails

And 13 voicemails.


And I considered myself lucky!!

Tomorrows Topic...My parents are spending my inheritance on trips to Europe, those devils!! ;) 


Lori Ann