It's been sure nice talking to you

Random Life updates on a weird feeling Thursday afternoon

I visited my dad in the hospital this morning before work. He had both knees replaced on Tuesday morning. It was so strange. I've seen him in pain before but nothing like this. I have always thought of him as the strongest man in the whole world. I don't like to see him like this.

I have fallen OFF the wagon again. My feet hurt after five mile Monday and I haven't been walking or to the gym since.

The difference between this time off the wagon and the last is that I am not going to stay off for a whole month. I've got to get back on. (Right after I finish these cookies...)

Today was our staff picnic. There was an outpatient and psychiatric table but there wasn't an empty seat. So, I was stuck out in the middle of nowhere with people from the Recovery center. (Drug and Alcohol) I felt like I was sitting with a rival gang.

Today, some of the girls at work snuck a picture of George Clooney in the file of my first client. The back story to this is long, so I'll spare you. But let's just say it involves Rand Paul and a 5 hour psychiatric evaluation:)

Lori Ann

No one sees her at all

So, for every self righteous blog update about my awesomeness, there comes a corresponding crash.

Yesterday was five mile Monday.

Today has been "sleep through my personal training appointment, eat eggs and toast and pretzels for breakfast, almost arrive late to work" Tuesday.

My room is a mess. I haven't gotten anything on my to do list done yet.

Oh man.

I need to get back in gear.

The only silver lining to this disastrous morning is that I have felt so off kilter.

Slumped down on the couch, watching the news, eating eggs and toast, I felt awful.

And that is what my mornings used to be EVERY DAY.

Eating crap for breakfast, lolly gagging around until I had to run out the door.

My old routine is no longer comfortable to me.

I didn't enjoy it. I don't miss it.

I missed walking today.

I even missed my evil trainer.

So...

Who's up for working out tonight?

Lori Ann

Back on the street

Substitute "walking" for running- apparently there aren't any inspirational walking quotes out there :)


I walked 5 miles this morning.

From 6:33 am to 8:14 am.

My legs now feel like lead and my skin (4 hours later) still has a slight chill to it.

Not to say that I have it all figured out- which I completely do not- but this morning was hard and tiring and made me feel like I could do anything in the world.

I used to wonder how people lost weight and got in shape.

 I pictured montages of them, at the gym, running up museum steps, drinking raw eggs...ummm, that's actually the plot from Rocky.

Never mind.

But you get the idea.

 People just got swept away and suddenly it was easy and awesome to be healthy.

I would start trying to do it. 

But the lack of immediate results and lack of "eye of the tiger" playing in the background always stopped me.

 Usually after a few days at most.

But a walk like today made me feel like I can do it. 

Getting healthy is not a 2 minute movie montage but a long series of days where you leave your comfortable, warm house and go out and do something hard.

 And tiring.

 And repetitive.

 And tedious.

As I walked 8 laps around the track today, I had moments of feeling inspired- mainly when my Christina Aquilera man hating music came on- but most of the laps consisted of me, silently pushing myself "one more step, one more step, one more step".

I wanted to quit after 2 laps.

 Then after 4.

 Then after 5 when my ipod said it's battery was getting low.

 Then after 6 when my back really hurt. 

Then after 7 when I thought "Oh my gosh, this is far enough, isn't it?"

Only the thought of walking in the door and yelling "Five mile Monday!" to my cat kept me going.

And I made it.

Happy Five Mile Monday to you all!!

Lori Ann

Standing there by a broken tree

Another Random Picture Post

My hair is officially brown/black.

 Now I need to start doing something with it. 

This is the sweetest, strangest cat known to man

. He is hanging out in my room frequently. 

Katy and James, super supportive of Elly during her soccer game.

 Here they are pretending to be cats.

T and D. They're like gangsters, they cover all the angles so no one can sneak up on them:) 

Elly scored a goal! Danielle was lifting her up into the air in triumph! Go, Elly, go!

I am obsessed with my new pumpkin sweater. Obsessed. 

I spent most of the weekend baking.

 It was fall and festive and it made me so happy. 

Making apple cider for the lazy!

 Step 1- Get some apples, yo.

Step 2: Core them with something awesome like this.

 Try it out on things that aren't apples.

 Live to regret it. 

Step 3: Add this step just because a bowl of sliced apples looks nice and domestic-y

Step 4: Blend all the apple slices.

 Sacrifice a rubber spatula to the process of shoving the apples down into the blender.

Step 5: Behold the pureed apples- then strain with a cheesecloth or really fine strainer 

Step 6: Make about 12 ounces of cider from about 12 apples.

 Ask your dad to try it out.

 Tell him he has failed you as a parent when he says,

 "It's a little thick, you should really try a blend of different apples". 

Me and the Sugar shaker.

  I like this picture because I look vaguely menacing.  

The fall festival dinner table! 

The kids fall festival table!!

It has been a crazy weekend.

 I have gotten every single thing done on my to do list. 

Which happens NEVER.

Also, I have lost about 10 lbs in the last two weeks.

YES!

I am not that far from being thin enough to go sky diving!!

Happy first official day of fall and may you have the best autumn ever!!

Lori Ann

Everything on her list

I can't stop listening to this for some reason.

Maybe because I am in a slight manic phase right now.

 Or more likely because it's fall.

And I feel so energized in the fall.

I've walked every single day this week.

Most mornings at 6:30 am.

 I've met with my trainer twice.

 For two torturous sessions where he literally laughs when I almost start crying.

 I got 30 discharges done at work yesterday.

I feel like I can get anything done that I want to.

 And this weekend I am going to make my own apple cider and bake something and go to the movies and sit on the porch under the stars and finish reading Moby Dick for the love of all that is holy.

 I just feel really happy to be alive right now.

Happy and excited for the next few months of chilly weather and holiday traditions and (hopefully) getting into better shape.

 I'm at a total of 136 lbs lost.

 When I get to 200 total I am having the biggest party ever and then going sky diving:)

 Lori Ann

Has taken it's toll on me

Ok, so I made the mistake of going on Goodreads to find a new book to read.

You know how they do those lists?

Like "spy novels with a villain who is female" and " Classics with a twist" or whatever.

I made the mistake of looking under "Novels about forbidden love".

Which is why I am crying in my office right now.

All of my faithful readers (hey Eri and Danielle!) know that I have kind of a thing for forbidden love stories.

 I thinks it's because I have the emotional maturity of a 14 year old.

This interest in forbidden love stories has led me down some strange paths.

 Diana Palmer novels.

 Amish novels.

 Gay romance novels.

 Gay Amish romance novels.

Basically any combination of two people who society says shouldn't be together- I've read a romance novel about them.

But Forbidden took it to a whole other level.

I downloaded it out of a kind of fascinated horror.

Lochie and Maya are...siblings.

 And while I did not approve of their relationship, that didn't stop me from being utterly traumatized by this book. 

So, in conclusion, I'm not trying to start a dialogue on this blog about incest or whatever.

 I literally keep mumbling, "gross, gross, gross" under my breath...which I should probably stop doing before my next client.

I don't think anyone wants a therapist who keeps muttering 'gross' to everything they say

Anyway...

I'm just saying..

beware the Goodreads Forbidden Love list.

Be. Ware.

Lori Ann

And fall in love with strangers

You guys, it's only 3 days away from OFFICIAL fall!!!!
 (the equinox, yo) 

Where we will once again attempt to make an egg stand on end, but that's not important now.

What is important is... 

FALL GOALS 2013!!

(everything I want to do before Thanksgiving Day)

1. Get fall in PA pictures of my sister's kids

2. Get a bike and ride it to and from church until it gets too cold

3. Make low fat soup in a pumpkin

4. Watch Disney's Halloween treat while drinking apple cider

5. Make my own apple cider

6. Dress up for Halloween

7. Run a 5k (already signed up for Oct. 5th!!)

8. Sleep under the stars on Halloween night

(I've had this on my bucket list for years!)

9. Learn to make at least 2 new fall themed crafts

10. Find and explore a place in PA that I've never been

(preferably an Amish place!)

Ok, people. Let the fall magic begin!!

Lori Ann

I feel so far from where I've been

Today was one of those days where fate conspired against me. 

I set my alarm for 6 am so I could get up, go walking, and go buy healthy snacks  for the week.

So, of course it was raining (like cold, depressing rain) when I walked out the door.

And my bedroom smells like applepumpkin (that's an actual scent) candles and Sugar was sleeping on my bed and it looked so warm and comfortable.

So, guess who wore their dad's ugly yellow rain coat and walked three miles in the rain?

That would be me.

Also, my grand total of weight loss is now 133 lbs.

For me, being healthy is about making choices every single day.

 And not letting the fact that it's Monday, or it's raining, or your bed has never looked so comfortable stand in your way.

Lori Ann

when you're missing home

Ok, so today I made mini pumpkin cheesecakes. 

Which is a little bizarre as I despise pumpkin flavored things.

It just makes me happy to bake them in the fall:) 

Here is your step by step tutorial in making not exactly homemade mini pumpkin cheesecake:) 

Step 1: Obtain the mix

 Step 2: Look on the back for the alternative recipe

 Step 3: Mix the crust and press into individual cupcake tins and a pie pan.

 Get into a fight with your dad about the best way to put the crust in the cupcake tins.

 Also, keep your cat away from pans.

 Step 4: Mix up the pumpkin stuff in the kitchenaid.

 Ignore comments such as "is it supposed to look like that?" and "did you follow the recipe?"

 Step 5: Get someone who knows how to pour level to pour the cheesecake filling over the crust

 Step 6: Bake 40 minutes and then add topping and bake 5 more minutes.

Get rid of stuff you don't like in the fridge to make room for it to chill.

Goodbye, broccoli.

 Step 7:  Wonder why it doesn't look like the one on the box??? ")

You're welcome, people. 

Here are a few other random photos to make your Sunday even more thrilling!!

 My dad and sister got me this sparkling Eiffel Tower from Paris.

It is magical.

 My hair is getting to a weird place.

Also, I still need to dye it brown/black.

 I always go darker in the fall.

 This little thing is so sweet.

 Dad versus his true protege.

 I'm not sure who I am more scared for in this picture.

 Eagles football with my parents.

 I asked my mom to "hold Sugar up in triumph".

 My dad kept saying "will you stop harassing that cat?"

My mother has never been a big Eagles fan.

Until she watched Silver Linings Playbook.

These are the crabby patties she made in tribute to that evil, evil film. 

I feel inspired by life again, people.

 Either I am spiraling into a manic phase or it's fall in PA, baby!

Lori Ann

I'm still awake

One of my clients gave me a "Just for Today" bookmark.

It says this:

I really like the first section. The "I can do something for 12 hours.." thing.

I think I will repeat that to myself to get through work today.

I'm so tired.

In 8 hours and 21 minutes I will be done.

 I can go home, put on my pajamas, watch the news and then spend the rest of the night under the covers, re-reading the Deathly Hallows.

And then we will have a fall weather, beautiful weekend.

 I feel like maybe baking something and making a fall craft and staying up to see the stars.

Sounds magical.

8 hours and 20 minutes.

Lori Ann

Hang on to a dream

I was telling my sister's kids about 9/11 again last week.

We've told them stories about it since they were young.

This year we saw the 9/11 memorial in NYC.

They wandered, fairly disinterested, around the memorial-

 stopping to listen to their mom and I explain what all the names meant.

 After a few minutes they ran out without a backward glance when we told them we could leave and go get some hot chocolate.

And this week, they watched the videos on Youtube with the same fascinated disbelief I see on their faces when they watch a slightly scary episode of Scooby Doo.

"That's not real is it, Aunt Lori? There's no such thing as monsters"

I hope that; as young Americans, they learn about 9/11 and have increased appreciation for their home land and the sacrifices made by others-

But I also hope it always stays a little unreal for them.

I hope they never have a morning like we all did on 9/11/01.

A morning where you watch people jump out of windows and see planes crashing into buildings and you feel sick and numb and keep thinking

"How is this my country? How is this real?"

I was far from my family on 9/11- well, if you call Illinois far.

 As a missionary who couldn't call home except twice a year, it felt a lot farther than it actually was.

But I called home that day.

I just wanted to hear my dad's voice say

 "It's alright, kid. We're going to get these guys and everything is going to be alright".

But even after I talked to my dad, I still felt sick and lost.

He couldn't make everything ok.

Nothing would ever be OK again.

 Not like it had been before that day.

I've said this before and it never fails to come across as a little melodramatic but I have always felt that my childhood ended on that day.

I remember standing at this gas station, seeing the Burger King flag already at half mast, and it felt like the world was spinning around me.

Like one of those scenes from a movie where the camera does a panoramic view.

I think I'll remember that moment for the rest of my life.

God bless all of those who lost someone on 9/11.

 God bless all of the first responders who sacrificed their lives.

 God bless all of those who continue to serve.

 And please, God bless America. 

Lori Ann

And you let her go

Today's post will be completely random.

 Because I feel a little crazy right now.

The song "Midnight Train to Georgia" always makes me feel a little guilty and sad.

The above comment was not a passive aggressive solicitation for sympathy or interest about why that song makes me feels sad- I just wanted to say it.

I had 12 voice mails and 50 emails waiting for me when I got back to work today.

My whole body hurts because I walked 2 miles and then worked out with Tory who seemed to be feeling extra evil today.

It looks like we just got a somewhat shady Get out of Syria free card from the Russians.

 I'm feeling a little Cold War-esque right now, comrades.

I am working on my Goals for 34.

 I will be 34 in about 4 weeks and I want awesome goals this year.

 Because when I turn 35 I plan to have a fancy dress party and adopt an almost grown child.

 So 34 is pretty much the last year of my not so much youth.

After swearing off gay romance novels, I bought one called "My cowboy heart".

 I knew it was going to be good when it was revealed that one of the main character's name was Speed.

 And I was right about it being good.

 Because they got a ranch and adopted a three legged dog and set the snow on fire on Valentines Day.

Literally.

Anyway, 

I can't stop listening to "Let her go" by Passenger.

 It's one of those songs you hear on the radio for the first time and 5 minutes later you are buying it on itunes. 

And not to be cryptic but I think I like it because I've let things go that I should have held onto.

 Things I still see when I close my eyes. 

This blog is going to an emo place that I am not ok with.

Lori Ann 

Some sweet company

We're still working on our 'Chopped' video.

 I know.

We're jerks to keep you in suspense.

But hopefully this gem will tide you over until our true masterpiece is complete!

You're welcome.

Lori Ann

Jack Allen

James Ray

Elizabeth Mae

Katherine Danielle

You choose, you learn

As you know, I've been helping out to watch my sister's children while she is in Paris.

 Here is the latest update in the week of my life I like to call

 " I think I might be legitimately going nuts.

 Like for reals" 

I did Katy's hair for school.

 ha ha.

 Danielle's going to have to so some damage control from this week of outfits and hair! 

The teachers may have already called child protective services.

I wish their whole childhood was like this picture.

 But alas, every moment like this is followed by a screaming fit.

  "Jack! You stole my poptart! I'm going to kill you!!!!" 

Elly got up and put her soccer uniform on at 6:30 am.

 Intense thy name is Elizabeth Mae. 

Nana Terry made a celebrity appearance at the game

We played another round of 'Chopped'.
 (Don't worry- there is video this time)

 James made this chocolate ice cream and sour patch kids combination.

 He called it "the island of mud"

 Everyone else called it "cat puke". 

He is an innovator- you have to give him that. 

A risk taker. 

Some risks just don't pay off.

And my guess is most risks involving sour patch kids don't pay off.

ANYWAY

We all pitched in to help Uncle Dave clean the taekwando studio

After a long and crazy day with the kids, I got this package of fall scented bubble bath and lotion from my sister Erin!

 Thanks, Eri!

I am wearing the sweet cinnamon pumpkin right now and I feel SOOO happy.

I stole this from my friend Sarah's blog.

 I thought it was a cool quote- displayed on her equally cool, handmade cork board.

 I would totally stalk her if only she didn't live on the other side of the world!

OK, so the Chopped video should be up by the afternoon. 

That should give you all something to look forward to during church:) 

Lori Ann

It was all I hoped it would be

So...

My sister is in Paris.

 Apparently enraptured with paintings of wild turkeys.

Meanwhile, I'm having a crazy time with her children.

 Here are the highlights so far.!

The kids being crazy.

Me yelling.

And then...

Yesterday night we had a 'Kid's Chopped"

(Minus both the literal and figurative chopping.)

The kids all had three ingredients and had to make something out of them. 

(Again...Like the show Chopped.) 

The three main course ingredients were noodles, sauce, and chicken nuggets.

The secret ingredient is always chicken nuggets!

Big J made a main course. 

The kids all freaked out like a rockstar was joining their competition.

 'Daddy is the best, he is so good at cooking!"

The teams hard at work while Willow the cat and I "supervise"

Team Jack and Katy won the main course round.

 Then it was boys versus girls for the dessert round.

The three ingredients were: dessert shells, pudding, and donuts.

Elly and Katy had some creative differences and so Elly created what became known as 'the Tower'/the Napoleon"

Katy with her...unique...creation

The boys went all out.

They had the food processor out and they fried stuff.

It was intense.

It was the art equivalent of an angry Jackson Pollock. 

  I tried to ignore that whatever it was in the center of their plate looked like raw meat. 

Jack was the judge and he tried every dish and  gave them all constructive feedback. 

They loved it.

The Girls took round two.

Which led to a Jamesaroni meltdown due to his having been on two losing teams. 

And while this will sound completely cheesy, I have to say that I was so proud of all of them.

 They tried so hard and worked together and were so proud of their creations. 

They are good kids.

 And while; after two days with them, I am tired, angry, and a little mentally broken,

 I wouldn't trade these babies for the world!

Lori Ann