Saturday, June 29, 2013

I've got homies

My weekend so far. The picture version.
 This was me on Friday. In the middle of my 7 appointments in a row. Look at my eyes. Completely glazed over. 
 Then Elly challenged me to some soccer in the backyard. The picture after this is Elly crying and asking me for my autograph. (or perhaps its of Elly blocking me from scoring....again)
 The Monroes' are having weird and fancy dinners at their house like every night. I don't know what to make of it but it feels a little like betrayal. I felt the same way when they bought a house and got retirement plan and all that. I don't understand that kind of fancy living:) 
 I took Jack "I've read more books than you", James "Kayne speaks to my soul", Elly " The Olympic soccer scouts are calling me already" and Katy " I feed my stuffed animals human food" Monroe out on the town for a little while this morning. We started at Payless. Then made the next logical stop... 
 The fireworks tent!
Then for a secret club meeting at McDonald's. 

Since that time I have been watching shows about people murdering other people and getting into minor squabbles with the cats. 

La la la. 

Lori Ann

p.s.- I did see "the heat" with Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock last night. (in a pouring down thunderstorm). I give it a 6/10. Funny but worth waiting to rent. 


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I don't care what my dad says..I think Chief Justice Roberts is hot!


You guys,

Thanks to the Supreme Court's rulings today it won't be long until us eternally single people get the legal recognition we deserve.

Today began the slippery slope towards full, country wide marriage "equality" (I put equality in quotation marks because gays and straights never address the inequality they are subjecting us singles to).

First, all marriages; regardless of gender of couples will be recognized.

Then, all marriages, regardless of number of participants will be recognized.

AND FINALLY...after all the "we're special because we have a sexual relationship" people have been recognized by the Courts, the rest of us will finally get what we deserve.

Marriages (or civil unions..whatever) will no longer be the sole province of those who are sleeping together.

How could anyone call that fair?

I may never find a husband (or wife) to get into a sexual relationship with.

Should I be denied the tax benefits of filing jointly with someone?

Should I be denied the ability to be on someone's insurance if I lose my job?

Should I be denied the social acceptance I crave?

Etc, etc, etc.

Whether it's a friend, a relative, or whatever, I look forward to becoming legally joined with someone (without the discriminatory requirement of a sexual relationship) and reaping the financial and social benefits that this country has to offer.

Well done, SCOTUS. Well done.

Lori Ann

Monday, June 24, 2013

Oh my me my

I was home sick from work today.

This is the result.

You're Welcome.



Lori Ann 

Sunday, June 23, 2013

We both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter


I've been sick all weekend.

And by sick, I mean your average cold. Not sick enough to justify taking the next few days off of work, but sick enough to feel blah, skip church, and spend too much time lazing around. 

I've only gotten one thing on my weekend to do list done.

 I haven't worked out in 3 days. 

And I upchucked some tator tots today. 

So, all in all, it's been a festive few days for me. 

I'm putting this on my blog because I suspect that many of you think of my life as some kind of fairytale. I know you are used to seeing pictures of me, walking in fields of daisies or hearing about the latest proposal I turned down from a wealthy, emotionally needy Italian man.

But I'm just like you. I'm human, people. I can't live on the pedestal you've placed me on, ok? 

ha ha ha

Lori Ann

Friday, June 21, 2013

Ray, the next time someone asks you if you are a God, you say YES!

Sometimes, when I get bored at work, I go back through my own blog (like a narcissist) rereading and laughing at previous posts and tearing up at all of my heart felt tributes.

All of that is true- except the tearing up part- I'm not that much of a narcissist.

Anyway, today I decided to rummage through my sister's blog and see what she was doing 4 years ago around this time.

 I found this!
It's Gozer the Destructor and the One Sock Bandit!! Arent' they precious?

I loved Elly at this age- she had such a squeaky voice and was starting to show her super competitive, crazy side.

 I feared Katy at this age. This was when she started to be able to break me. I would babysit for an hour or two and she would destroy so much, so fast, I usually ended up laying on the floor, crying like a little girl.

Sometimes I have the thought that they are still out there.These smaller, crazier versions of my nieces and nephews.

I just have this feeling that one day I will go to Walmart and find 3 year old Elly hula hooping, baby Jack smiling that blindingly perfect smile, baby James; with his large head, lolling about in the cart, and little Katy, knocking stuff off the shelf and shrieking with glee.

Anyway, my point is that this picture made me smile AND realize how fast time is flying by.

Lori Ann

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Trying to get away into the night


Today's topic:

Questions I have been asking myself lately...

1. Why do both "hotel California" and "I think we're alone now" play almost EVERY SINGLE TIME I drive to or from work? There has got to be some meaning there that I am missing.

2. I am all for partisan bickering...it keeps me entertained. However, why is there such a double standard? In the last few days I've seen articles entitled "Why is the GOP stuck on stupid?" and "The clueless Republican caucus" and "Why can't the Republicans learn?". And these are mild compared to some that I have seen. I have NEVER seen an article entitled "Democrats are idiots" or anything of that nature.

3. Why does time slow down on the treadmill? Seriously, it sssslllllloooooowwwwwssss down. The only time it has gone fast for me is when I was watching the Breakfast club. I am sure the people around me were really excited to hear me repeating all of the lines along with the movie. "You're so conceited, Clair".

4. Is it possible to have health and fitness bipolar? Because I swear I swing from manic (going to the gym twice in one day) to depressive (eating Chinese food for breakfast and dodging my trainer).

5. Is it wrong to steal someone else's fruit kabob? Or it so wrong it has to be right?

6. Why do they put cantaloupe on fruit kabobs? Cantaloupe should be banned from all mixed fruit items. I don't think I am alone in this. Right?

7. I think I found the perfect quote for the wall in my office. What do you think?

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”


It's by Maslow. I adore Maslow.

Lori Ann

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

But you can let your hair down


It's not summer until tomorrow or the next day (I refuse to acknowledge it before the solstice has actually occurred) but that won't stop me from announcing this years

TSC (the spinster chronicles- just to clarify) SUMMER TO DO LIST

Let's do this dance!

1. Go to Gettysburg for the 150th anniversary and see some reenactments. (first stop Civil War reenactments, next stop Renaissance Fair, baby!)

2. Spend all day at the ocean. (and by ALL DAY I mean at least 8-12 hours). I haven't been to the ocean in years. Which is said because I don't live that far. This summer all that changes!

3. Go camping. There is something about roasting marshmallows and the smell of campfire under a starry PA sky that is just good for your soul. I will camp this summer, mark my words!

4. Complete a 5k. Of course, it will be walking. But walking swiftly. I want one of those dang numbers you put on your shirt!

5. See Philadelphia from a double decker tour bus. I've more or less seen most of Philadelphia but I know there is some stuff I've missed and some stuff I haven't seen in years. I'm think that I might go this Saturday. Take the train up, hop on a bus and spend all day in my most favorite of all cities.

6. Really celebrate the 4th of July. I don't just want to passively watch fireworks and stop the children from burning their fingers on sparklers. I am going to make the 4th a spectacular and patriotic fiesta!

and lastly..the self improvement goal. Yuck.

7. By September 1st (I don't wait for the equinox to declare it to be fall) I want to have a good gym habit going. Where it begins to feel weird and bad if I don't go. (Right now I am still in the opposite, where it feels weird and bad when I DO go)

So...it's pretty clear at this point that this is going to be the greatest summer of our lives!!

Lori Ann

Monday, June 17, 2013

Had your eyes wide open


You guys..

Maybe I am just in a manic phase but I was totally inspired while I was at the Walmart this morning.

I bought two plain 1 subject notebooks. (and some tic tacs, baby!)

One of them is for me to write down book ideas. I have always wanted to write a book- it's on my bucket list- but I have never gotten organized.

 Since I have a giant purse, I can just keep the notebook with me to jot down ideas. I already have a few ideas and have noticed that my brain seems to be more focused on this topic since I took a step towards getting organized.

The other notebook is for working through my food addiction issues. It's completely stream of consciousness type writing.

 My first entry was about how today, the pharmacy rep brought pizza and soda and  I wanted to eat the pizza so bad (instead of the yogurt and strawberries I had packed) and so I made myself answer the question- why do I feel like I need the pizza? It was illuminating to see it out there in black and white.

This could be one of those projects that I feverishly commit to for about 2 days and then forget but I hope not.

I hope I can develop it into a tool to both build coping skills for dealing with my addiction and to begin the process of figuring out this book and crossing it off my bucket list.

Wish me luck!!

Lori Ann

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Take the long way home

It's Fathers Day, y'all.

Every day I thank God for the father that I have. He is amazing in so many ways.

And so I wanted to write him a tribute that I hoped he would like so he can know that I really do appreciate him and have learned so much from him. Here it goes...

So many things remind me of my childhood. The taste of funnel cake. The smell of burning leaves. The sight of rolling hills of trees. But every sound that reminds me of my childhood: every song, every wistful lyric, every strum of acoustic guitar, reminds me of my dad.

As I have said many times, growing up with Dave Hinsdale for a father was like being raised in a History of Music class. (with an emphasis on classic rock and classical)

And so, this fathers day, I wanted to spotlight some of the music he played (so loud the floors would shake) and how both that music and he taught me so much.

Circle Game by Joni Mitchell.


Joni Mitchell albums were the kind my dad played on repeat track all night. Either Joni or Mary Black or some other folk artist. Joni taught me that life is short and appreciate the days as they fly by. By playing her music and painstakingly explaining the lyrics to my 11 year old self, my dad taught me to appreciate true artistry and to not be afraid to be myself and do what makes me happy.

Dreamer by Supertramp


Supertramp music was the true soundtrack to my childhood. And not just the classic ones that everyone knows. ALL of the songs. My dad would put on their songs (Breakfast in American and Dreamer being my favorites) and play along on the air guitar. Supertramp taught me that you can actually feel music in your whole body and that the world was bigger than my little borough of Dublin, PA. By playing their music my dad taught me to look for things outside of myself. For people and experiences that could change how I see the world.

Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel


My dad played all of the Genisis, Police, Peter Gabriel solo type music. I could list probably 50 songs that have the same feeling for me as Solsbury Hill. Roxanne, Don't stand so close to me, Money for Nothing and so many more. But I love Solsbury Hill and it reminds me most of my dad because of one line. The line goes "Son, he said..grab your things, I've come to take you home". My dad creates the feeling of home for me. If you ask my sisters what home means they would probably tell you the same things as me: Dad blaring music, grilling steaks, muttering about how no one can put anything back where they got it, making you eat until you feel sick, slipping you money if he thinks you need it (with a wave of his hand and "don't worry about it" if you try and thank him). He's such a deep down good person and this song always reminds me of that.

Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits

They played this song when my European tour bus drove by Verona, Italy. It brought tears to my eyes and I wished my dad was there to see Europe with me. Nothing takes me back to childhood like Dire Straits. Industrial Disease, Sultans of Swing, Les Boys, Telegraph Road, Brothers in Arms. They all invoke instant nostalgia. Every song has a message and my dad would explain every one of them to me. Dire Straits taught me about love, loss, and politics in the 80's. By playing them my dad taught me to be socially aware, to care about the little things, and that if two men say they're Jesus, one of the must be wrong:) 

Of course, this is barely scratching the surface. I haven't even gotten to The Beatles, Indigo Girls, Pink Floyd, Mozart, every Jazz musician ever born, and about one million others. Don't worry, people. There is always next Fathers Day.

I know this was long. Maybe because I feel like I can never say the right thing or convey enough of how grateful I am to my dad for being the best father I could have ever asked for. 

I hope you know, Dad. 

Love,

Oreo

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Taurus, pisces rising is a very good sign


Behold, the Katy Cat.
(who was allowed to play in the rain,mud, and paint today- a rare indulgence from my sister who likes to keep her kids scrubbed and shining like the top of the Chrysler building!)

The other day I overheard a conversation that Katy was having with their family cat, Willow. (who some people call Snarfus..yes, they are still debating her name 2 years later)

Anyway, she is crouched down, petting the cat when I hear the following:

"I can see that you are sad about your parents. But...they're dead"

I swear to heaven above that is what she said to Willow/Snarfus (who shall be known from here on as "Snarow")

Oh strange Katy Cat, medium to household cats everywhere..what would we do without you?

Lori Ann

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Love her and she'll bring you luck


I walked two miles before coming to work today. I might walk a few more when I get home.
Now I am having fresh picked PA strawberries, raspberry yogurt, and a icy cold dasani water for lunch.

And I feel inspired.

I used to think that people who talked about how great a healthy lifestyle was were just lying to themselves to mask the deep seated depression that must accompany a life without diet coke and donuts.

And while I did stop to smell the donuts that medical records always has out (I swear it's a non stop party back there..and yes, the donuts did smell like happiness) I was able to walk away.

I don't know if this is an epiphany or just the ramblings of someone who is sugar deprived.

I feel great. And I don't (except during very stressful moments or late night tv watching binges) miss the soda and the junk. It never really made me happy.

Anyway, I vow to make this the last healthy eating/ lifestyle post for a while. We will be moving on and tackling my other vices!!

Lori Ann

p.s.- Thanks to 'the Voice' I am once again obsessed with this song.



Monday, June 10, 2013

I want you to stay


Sour Krout. Because no post is complete without a cat picture

Random Life Updates

I have to see my doctor in about 30 days. And I want to impress him with my weight loss.So; starting today, I am instituting a 30 lbs in 30 days challenge. I was at the gym before 6 am this morning. It's getting weird in my world, yo.
(On a side note: I would be happy with 5 lbs in 30 days. I am just trying to set impossible goals so I can justify crashing on day 7 and binging on cookie dough)

On what I am sure is a completely unrelated note, I am almost falling asleep in my chair. I'm eating fat free tuna salad on crackers to try and wake myself up. It's not working.

It's the 150 anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg next month. Guess who is going to see some reenactments?? WE ARE! (By "we" I mean me, Danielle, and my evil nieces and nephews!) We are getting a hotel with a pool, doing the family friendly activities they have, showing the kids some monuments, and immersing my four favorite young Americans in our amazing PA history.

Tonight is my first night running a teen Asperger's social skills support group. There are going to be lollipops and scavenger hunts.

On what I am sure is a completely unrelated side note, it's weird how I run my sessions and groups kind of like church activities or Sunday School. I've only had 2 clients that have turned out to be LDS and they recognized me as a Mormon almost immediately. Weird, eh?

This tuna was not a good idea.

Protein, Lori. Protein.

Why can't they make protein that tastes like cookie dough? Or pringles? Or gummi bears? Come on, people. Let's make this happen.

Lori Ann

Sunday, June 9, 2013

But it's over now

Today's topic:

My ever evolving definition of 
romance.

Ironically, for someone who is a spinster, romance has always been a big part of my life.

I've been reading romance novels since the age of 9. I've always loved romantic movies and I am obsessed with shows like "My Fair Wedding" and "Say Yes to the Dress". I watch surprise proposals on youtube and adore the stories of Wallis Simpson and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. 

I figured that it was pretty much a given that one day a man would either abdicate his throne for me or could at least become the subject of a lot of stream of consciousness poetry I would one day be famous for. 

 However, my definition and ideas about romance have undergone a transformation recently.

Here's why:

1. I've stopped reading trashy novels. Well, I kind of went from straight to gay romance novels. But then I realized that they are all boring. So, I'm off all romance novels now and I feel like I'm coming out of a little bit of a fog. I've slowly begun to realize that I am not going to be proposed to by a Greek billionaire or marry a rugged, brooding cowboy. And that I really probably wouldn't want to if I got a chance. (unless either of them was willing to live in the PA countryside and/or they have really great health benefits)

2. I am a  marriage counselor. Nothing will change your perception of happily ever after quicker than mediating couples as they scream things like "My mother tried to warn me, but did I listen? No!" and " I know you've had 3 kids but shouldn't you be kind of back in shape by now?"

So..in summary, my ideas about romance until recently were kind of like this..



And now they are more like this (how she chose Blane after this is beyond me)


Bottom line: If a man sings you Otis Redding, you hold on to him like grim death. I think we've all learned something here today.

Lori Ann

Thursday, June 6, 2013

If your train's on time

 
A Rant About My Work
(aka I'm more like my dad than I realized)

I work for a non profit. It's a good company. I don't want to say anything negative about it (because this is the Internet, y'all). But I am still frustrated by my work at times.

I didn't become a therapist because it was my driving passion to help people overcome their mental health struggles.

I didn't become a therapist because I have a deep interest in the working of the human brain.

I became a therapist more by happenstance, a strange detour to North Carolina, and how much it costs to take the GRE.

So, I wouldn't call what I do my calling in life. But I still really really want to do a good job.
 (that's the part where I'm like my dad. He's of the old school "give people quality for their money" type philosophy)

When you get to know people and they tell you things they've never said to anyone else and when they've cried and broken down and asked YOU for help, you know that you have to help them. You can't leave them in the office at 5 pm and pick them back up the next morning at 9.

I dream about my clients every night. Every single one.

And that's what frustrates me so much about my work.

I can't give these people the time, mental energy, and effort that each one of them deserves.

I'm drowning in paperwork and by the time I come up for air, it's time for another session. With someone whose file I haven't had a chance to even look at since their last appointment.

I haven't had time to research resources for them or even think about what I am going to say.

I think I could make the time and give these clients what they really deserve but it would require me to give up my own life.

 I couldn't come home and watch the news with my parents. Or lay out on the soccer field, screaming "go Elly, go!". Or workout with Tory.

I'd have to come in early and leave late every day to give them what I honestly believe they deserve and stay on top of my paperwork as well.

I've gone down that road before in North Carolina. I got so burnt out that I didn't care about anything anymore.

I guess there isn't any easy answer here.

My company is a good company and I know they mean well but they have regulations to follow and they need to get more and more people in the door to pay the bills.

My clients are good people who are understanding and seem happy (for the most part) with the limited help I can offer.

I feel like I am a good person who wants to do the right thing but isn't always sure what that is. 

Maybe this is a first world problem. And maybe since I'm a full time working woman and spinster most people that read this (hey Mom!) won't be able to relate. I don't know.

It's just what I wanted to say today.

Lori Ann

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

You are my candy

This is my life. Random soccer nights and mildly depressed cats. It doesn't get much more legit than that.

Sugar, Sugar.

My sister calls these two the peanut butter and jelly. They are kind of soccer rock stars!

Lori Ann

Sunday, June 2, 2013

You stole my heart

What I love about my life right now:

Singing "We are never EVER EVER getting back together...like ever" with Miss Elly Monroe. 
The notorious Monroe sisters
Seeing the Elly Bean and Jack-Jack give their testimonies today.


Listening to "Just give me a reason" by Pink and that guy from Fun. I am in love with his voice. He is my new Adam Levine.


Organizing my life. I think I do it to combat the seasonal affective disorder that hits me every summer. It is sooo hot here and that makes me angry and sad. 3 1/2 months until fall.

Speaking of which, I love PA summer thunderstorms. They are like no other rain I've ever experienced. 

I love that as I lose weight I am sleeping less and less. I think I average about 6-7 hours a day. Much better than 9-10. I want to be awake for my life.

Another side effect is the increased energy and focus. Which is odd because I am completely off caffeine and sugar but I am more focused and energized than ever. Anyway, I am starting to kind of dust off my life ambition list and I am thinking more and more that there is nothing I can't do if I want it enough. 


Being off facebook. It kind of reminds me of my relationship with caffeine. I didn't think I'd be able to get by without it, but ultimately it's kind of draining. 

Watching my sister's kids sporting events. They are still at an age where they get excited when they make a good play or their team wins. Something about their big smiles and excitement is so magical to me. 

Lori Ann