It's all the answer

Random Saturday Night Life Updates

For the last 3 days I have been off from work. 

So my new job has been to eat like there is no tomorrow. 

I tried to get back on track today but the Captain Crunch knows where I am. It knows my name. You guys...it knows my name.

Anyway...

T-minus 120 days until my half marathon. 

I really, really would like NOT to be the last one done. 

My pink sneakers!

So...

I walked 7 miles today. 

Probably the farthest I've walked in my life at one time.

Unless you count the mission. Who the heck knows how far I walked then. (and in church shoes, no less!)

I think I am driving my family crazy with my training.

I like to get my walk (and/or run) in and then I LOVE to complain about how I feel like I've been hit by a bus for the rest of the day. 

So to spare my family further suffering, I decided to go to my office and I was going to pull EVERY single one of my client's files (all 103 of them) and update things and make notes about what I needed to do for them.

Yeaaaaahhhhhh.....

I was in my office for three hours and I did the following:

Decorated for Christmas. 

Watched an entire movie on Youtube.

Emailed my new BFF Michele. Like 19 times.

Fell asleep listening to sad Christmas music. 

Which led to...

Coming home and watching several riveting episodes of Extreme Couponing. 

Because I focus on what's important, people. There's probably a lot you could learn from me.

So then...

My sister Erin calls me and tells me that what she really wants to do when she comes home is see me dress up like a bear, scare my dad, and then possibly die jumping off the back porch in the middle of the night. 

I told her that I will follow her Christmas to-do list as long as it doesn't involve me dying.

I don't think that's too much to ask. 

And finally...

I recognize that my new blog banner looks like Christmas threw up all over it. I have no power to edit. 

I did resist the urge to photoshop a santa hat onto Sugar. 

This could be the most random random update ever. It definitely ranks among the least coherent and most boring. 

Lori Ann

p.s.- I am starting a temporary blog to track my marathon training progress and blog about health crap. So that I can reserve this blog for important stuff. Like my love of glitter. And my fights with my cat. And how captain crunch should be part of every one's marathon journey.

Look for it to be linked here tomorrow:) 

the 5th President of the United States

James Ray Monroe. 

Of all of my nieces and nephews, James would appreciate a sappy tribute the least. He avoids kisses, runs from hugs, and despises when I call him my 'turkey baby'. 

(even though his birthday is on Thanksgiving today)

So, in his honor, I will try to dial down the sappiness.

James, 

You're pretty cool, dude.

From your classically white dancing skills, to the weird arm pit sounds you like to make, to your recent love of learning bad language- everything about you is pretty dang awesome.

I can't believe you are in the double digits now. I remember the day we picked you up from the turkey aisle...ummm.... you were born at the Hospital.

 I knew that very day that you were going to be the best thing that ever happened to us.

Never, ever change, James. 

I love you so much. 

Umm... I think you're kinda ok. 

See? Not that sappy. 

Happy Birthday to the best d@#& nephew in all the world!

 (that bad language was for you, Jamesaroni!)

Love,

Aunt Lori

You're gonna be the one that saves me

I am completing my Thanksgiving Day post one day early.

A. Because I am between clients right now and

B. Because tomorrow is not only Thanksgiving but the birthday of one James Ray Monroe and I need to write his blog tribute on his birthday.

So...

Here is what I am Thankful For This Year

 (the unabridged list)

I am thankful for:

My bright pink running shoes.

My middle name. I don't know if you caught it but I am kind of obsessed with the 'Ann'. It's all Ann mania from here on out!

My cat Sugar- who has enabled me to make the graceful transition from odd, awkward older single girl to official Spinster crazy cat lady.

My new friends. The ones that won't let me self isolate and listen to my endless whining. You know who you are!

My religion. The more people I counsel, the more grateful I am to have the Gospel in my life. It's made me who I am.

And of course, my home, family, country, job, etc, etc, etc, etc..... I am truly, honestly, and deeply thankful for all of these things. But the number one thing I am thankful for and am blessed by in my life....

Jack Allen, James Ray, Elizabeth Mae, and Katherine Danielle.

My nieces and nephews. My fellow secret club members. My stealing Uncle Dave's captain crunch co-conspirators. My youtube party dancing partners.

My four favorite people in all of the world.

Thanksgiving won't be the same without you.

Lori Ann

Sugar, Sugar

I am trying to make a Christmas card of me and Sugar. 

But she won't wear a Santa hat. 

Cooperation. That is all I ask for.

I am so,so,so,so,so,so,so glad that I only have to work 3 days this week. 

I am so glad that this time next month Erin will be out visiting!

I am so glad I made myself walk 6 miles today even though it was freezing cold and even though I still feel like I was hit by a bus and my feet are kind of blistered. 

I am so glad that my nice, warm bed is waiting for me. Sweet, blessed sleep sounds so amazing right now.

And yes, it's only 8:15 pm.

Lori Ann

I want to talk about me

This one is for you, Eri. 

Of course, I look hot in all of these, but the one of me in the center square is smokin'!

That brings my November selfie total up to 20!!

And there are still 6 days left in the month. 

YES!

your favorite baby sister,

Lori Ann

Que han de llorar cuando te vayas

It's a wonder I get anything done at work between taking selfies and plotting revenge on my coworkers. 

So, one of the things I know you all love about this blog is hearing me talk about myself.

I'm kind of fascinating like that, I know. 

Therefore, you'll be especially psyched to see me write the following:

In the tradition of the recent facebook trend,

Here are....

10 things you probably don't know about me.

(The weird Wednesday Night Edition!)

10. My favorite album of all time is Songs about Jane by Maroon 5

9. I'd rather have a baby than a dog. Being a dog owner sounds so exhausting.

8. Some of my clients get angry if I don't have candy available. I've set a bad precedent.

7. I never intended to become a therapist. I really just fell into it. Most of my life I planned to be a lawyer. 

6. I judge men who take baths

5. If I weren't Mormon I would honestly consider converting to an Amish lifestyle

4. I know all 4 verses of the Star Spangled Banner. (well, there are 8 really, but only 4 are usually in hymn books)

3. When I go into Walmart I just start walking fast. I can't stop it. I feel like I have to zip around in there. I also tend to forget what state I am in when I'm in Walmart. 

2. If I were 18 again and starting college I think I'd want to train to be a general contractor. I would love to restore old homes for a living.

1. Some songs make me feel angry and even nauseated. Like that Cruel Summer song from Karate Kid. And that weird song that goes "travel the world and the seven seas, everyone is looking for something" 

I hope that helps to satisfy the insatiable curiosity that you all have about me:) 

Lori Ann

I found you here

Random Tuesday Night Updates

This is sunset from my office. It makes staying late at work not as tragic

This is sunrise from the Walmart parking lot. Yes, I go to Walmart before sunrise. I refuse to consider what that means about me and my life :) 

I tried to take a picture of myself with sunrise in the background. But the sunrise didn't show up. I must have outshone it or something:) 

I finally got my ancestry breakdown from 23andme! Who knew that I was part Finnish? So weird.


My friend Michele told me today that she has read my entire blog. All 4 painful years. Yikes. Later in the day she said that she had a headache. I wonder if there is a correlation there somewhere...?
(but seriously, coolest friend ever!)

A new client of mine came into my office today and immediately said "Oh my gosh, you' re so young!" Did I say new client? I meant my favorite client. (p.s.-I told her that I was going to brag to everyone I knew about this and she gave me full permission to do so)

My trainer Tory asked me to write a testimonial for the gym that they can post on their website. I already know what I want to say. "Tory is evil. Run, run, run far away!"

This whole healthy living crap has thrown my schedule out of whack. I've been going to bed no later than 9 pm and waking up around 4 or 5 ish. I'm like Ben Franklin. Or whoever it was that said "early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy, and wise".

Except for the 'healthy, wealthy, and wise" that is me to a T.

It's going to be a LONG day tomorrow. Wish me luck!!

Lori Ann

My dentist is evil

I just had my second root canal in a week. Yikes.

I think dental work is killing my manic high.

I didn't walk today.

Which is sad for two reasons:

1. Today is the most beautiful day I've seen all fall

2. I got to the park, with my shoes on, and my music

But then I saw someone who looked like a serial killer. And there was an old, weird van in the park parking lot and I couldn't stop the soundtrack from all of my mom's murder shows from playing in my head...

"Lori probably didn't realize that today would be her final walk when she started out on that brisk, November morning. Her dentist, the last person to see her alive, reports "Well, it surprised me to hear that she was murdered. I thought her teeth would be the cause of death. That being said, I'm sorry to lose my best customer."

So, in conclusion...

Laziness, dental work, and fear of death kept me from walking today.

Come to think of it, those three things keep from accomplishing a lot of my goals.

Lori Ann

p.s.- If I do get murdered, I expect you all to come to my funeral- IN PERSON. (don't be cheap)- Also, prepare to speak for 5-7 minutes about how this blog changed your life. I'd start preparing those remarks now, if I were you. (they can also be used when you are interviewed after I win a Nobel Prize or something)

With the words of a love song

My new favorite quote. 

Random Saturday Update-around twilight

(why do I feel like I should have to capitalize the 'T'?)

Anyway,

First, let's talk about my therapy. Not at all awkward for all of you, I am sure.

I didn't get to address my Harry Potter fixation in therapy...yet. 

Judy, my therapist, told me one major thing which I found really eye opening.

She said that I kind of live in two different places. On one hand I am very tightly connected to my family and religion which can be insular. I completely agree with this. I feel like, to a certain degree, that my family and religious culture is one of 'we don't talk about things'. (which I am not judging at all- I'm comfortable in that place) She said the other place I am is being a therapist- which is almost the exact opposite. I talk to people with all kinds of lives about everything- all the stuff most people don't want to talk about. She feels like trying to balance these two worlds causes me anxiety. 

ANYWAY, 

I know that was super long and detailed but it really changed the way I see myself and the world and I am so glad I put "go to therapy" on my bucket list and I recommend it to anyone!

I did 5 miles today. 2 'running' (if it can be called running as I was lapped by several WALKING elderly people) and 3 walking. My legs still feel strange. 

19 weeks until my half marathon. I've got to get stronger. 

I've lost 5 lbs this week on my mostly protein shake diet. I earned every one of those lbs. That diet was intense! 

This picture if from the Internet! I don't own a coffee maker...I swear!

It was a good jump start though- I lost a few lbs, have been thinking before eating, and my stomach has shrunk. I tried to eat a tiny baked potato and I felt so sick. It was too much.

It was Elly's last soccer game today. I am so proud of that crazy girl!

I am cooking the turkey this Thanksgiving (on my bucket list). Any suggestions?

Lori Ann

Can only make me stronger

You guys,

I just officially registered for a half marathon!!

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.

Also, as of today, I've lost 150 lbs total.

I need to stop posting self congratulatory posts however.

After posting how much I love walking/running, I was out on the track today, grumbling the whole way. It was ridiculous. I had to push myself to complete just 3 little miles.

I've got to get tougher if I'm going to complete 13.1!!

Mark your calenders for March 30th, 2014!

Lori Ann

p.s.- Therapy secrets will be posted this weekend!

They lead to you



I love how my cheeks look after walking in the cold (for an hour!)

I am day 4 into a 7 day protein based diet.

I am trying to jumpstart my weight loss which has stalled a little.

So, since I am avoiding food and trying to reflect on the progress I've made, I figured I'd share what I've come to love over the last year as I've worked on my health

1. I love the feeling you get when you come inside after walking out in the cold. The numb, tingly feeling, the red cheeks, the strong desire for a mug of hot chocolate- it reminds me of my childhood. I haven't made myself go out in the cold in years really and walking/running has forced me to. And reminded me how much I love it.

2. I love the feeling of when you put on some piece of clothing and you can feel that it is even just the tiniest bit looser. It's such a better feeling than the feeling of shoving yourself into jeans that once fit just fine.

3. I love just being able to take pictures and put them on facebook or this blog without trying to get the perfect angle to hide my chubby cheeks or make me look thinner. I still have the chubby cheeks and a long way to go but I'm more confident now. I don't care if people judge me:) 

4. I love the feeling of sore muscles. My shins are burning right now because I went up ten lbs in my leg curls this morning. But the burn always makes me think that it's my muscles waking up. (after a long, long sleep)

Anyway, I hope this post doesn't come across as sanctimonious. 

My point in writing is that I always thought changing my life would be so torturous and dreadful. 

And; don't get me wrong, there are parts that are SO HARD they make me want to cry.

But there is some awesome stuff I've discovered along the way:) 

Lori Ann

p.s.- Tomorrow's topic- what my therapist told me today..it was eye opening! 

Told a few thousand stories

Here are a few stories that I don't want to forget (therefore they must be written in this blog and live in infamy forever!)

* The other night I stopped by my sister's house to steal umm...borrow Halloween candy from the children. Of course I was in my pajamas and of course I yelled as soon as I walked in the door "I'm here for the candy!" and....of course, the missionaries were there. BUT, that is not even the best part of the story. So, I was sitting around the table with my nieces and nephews and I said "I want to talk about my clients and how my day went today" and without missing a single beat Jack-Jack says "I want to talk about explosives" and then James says "I want to talk about League of Legends (a video game), and Elly says "I want to talk about sports" and Katy closes with "I want to talk about cats". It was HILARIOUS.

* James, upon learning that he had to go to school on Veteran's Day, apparently had a meltdown of epic proportions, yelling "what? They won't even give us the day off to honor our Veterans?" (This from the same child who; when I asked him the day before what a Veteran was, stated "they come and take care of your animals")

* Elly scored 3 (almost 4- she keeps reminding us) goals at her last soccer game on Saturday. On Sunday, she was sitting in the row ahead of me. Every couple of minutes she kept turning around and holding up 3 fingers and nodding solemnly. That girl is crazy.

* Apparently Katy keeps going to visit Uncle Dave's apartment (in my sister's basement). Danielle was asking Dave what Katy wanted down there. Without hesitation he replied "chips". It doesn't sound that funny but it was- there was no "oh, she comes down to play or watch movies" it was just a clear, firm "chips".  Later, when I picked him up from work, he described feeling intense pressure to give her the chips or there were going to be negative consequences for him :)

Ok, so I am going back to therapy tomorrow. Brace yourselves. I cannot even imagine what will happen.

Lori Ann

Run, run, run

A strange, up close selfie. I have no memory of taking this picture.

Ignore the fact that I apparently can't spell marathon

November's Training schedule (W/O stands for workout)


You guys..I am officially registering this Friday.

For THIS  half marathon

My personal goal is to half run/ half walk. Alternating back and forth. 7 miles run and 6 walked.

WISH ME LUCK!!!

136 days to go!

Lori Ann

Of stopping

Do not let the fact that I am up at 6 am taking pictures of the snow fool you into thinking I am back in my manic phase.

Or the fact that I'm about to go out and walk a few miles in it before going to the gym. 

Or the fact that these are just 2 items on my 23 item to do list for today.

Not manic. (I feel the urge to write that like 19 times in a row) 

Ok, so a little manic.

Anyway,

Let it snow!

Lori Ann

Who doesn't know what I'm talking about

You guys, 

You know how I always plan to start these weekly features and then kind of forget about them after a week or two?

It's happening again. Yes!

My new weekly feature (inspired by Meliss) will be...

FREE THERAPY!!

What good is it to read the blog of a therapist if you aren't getting some free therapy out of it?

So, every Sunday my blog shall be dedicated to providing you with some amazing therapeutic tool or insight.

Let the healing begin!!

Today's FREE THERAPY....

"it is a psychological fact that we treat ourselves the way we were treated as children"

I often share that quote with my clients who were children of addicts or who come from abusive homes. 

What starts out as our parents voices in our heads eventually becomes the same words, but in our own voice.

Sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes it is bad. 

In my life it has been both.

I never doubt my intelligence- I can still hear my parents voices telling me that I am smart. It's my voice telling me that now and I have always been very confident in my intelligence. 

I struggle with feeling like I am a deep down lazy person. That's something my dad would say alot (because he was probably frustrated by the never ending mess!). I constantly worry that other people are going to judge me as lazy and if I leave something, it's my voice now saying "stop being so lazy. You are such a slob" etc. 

The thing is that those kind of self castigating thoughts neither motivate nor inspire real change. Guilt and shame are not long term motivating emotions. 

So... I guess the first step in changing the negative thoughts is to be able to recognize them. Then challenge them. Then replace them.

Easier said than done. 

Yikes..I feel like this feature could get pretty boring, pretty quickly. 

Hang in there. We'll get to the more festive therapy stuff soon!

The therapy where I make you look in a mirror and say "You are a sexy creature" over and over.  That's coming, trust me. 

Lori Ann

It goes like this

A concept that I teach a lot of my clients is what I call "filling your bucket".  Which means doing things that are rejuvenating for you, that fill you with joy, that make you deep down happy- so that they will serve as a sort of emotional reserve to get you through tough times. 

A few things lately that have filled my bucket:

Moving a piano with my dad and siblings. As a family we did a lot of things together growing up-delivering newspapers, helping my mom close down the pizza hut at night, bagging groceries for everyone in front of us in line, plus a million more things. Doing things with my siblings with my dad barking out orders brings me back to a happy place from my childhood. All that was missing today was Eri:(

Then later, Danielle and I played Heart and Soul on the piano. It was so fun and it made us hope that Elly and Katy will be doing the same kind of thing 30 years from now. 

Watching Elly play soccer. She scored 3 goals today! You can see how happy it makes her and that makes me so happy. Sitting on the side of that field, with my nieces and nephews, on a chilly Pennsylvania fall day is pretty close to my idea of heaven.

one of my favorite fall pictures from last year

I had a 'bucket list' lunch with some of my coworkers this past week. I brought subway and we all met for an hour and talked about our life goals. It was me, our medical secretary, our office manager, a nurse practitioner and the psychiatrists kept popping in and out. It makes me happy to work in a place where I feel supported and where I can support others.

Dave and I took the kids to see "Free birds" last night at this weird little cheap theater in the town next to us. Kind of a boring movie (for me) but seeing the kids squabbling over seats and trading candy and laughing through the movie made me deep down happy. 

Working out. I still dread it, I'm not going to lie. But leaving the gym, feeling my muscles burning, knowing that I'm going to be sore the next day- it's rejuvenating and makes me feel like I can do anything in the world.

Tomorrow I am going to make the whole family Sunday dinner and do my visiting teaching and go walking and go to church and I think it will fill my bucket enough to get me through the long week ahead:) 

Anyway, I hope you; dear readers, are doing things that fill your bucket. 

Lori Ann

You worry too much

You guys,

My coworkers know about this blog now. 

Yikes.

I'm probably going to jail.

Maybe I will be fired. 

They will know that I am crazy

They are going to be so jealous of my insanely awesome life:) 

Lori Ann

p.s.- The packages OFFICIALLY went out today. I've got tracking numbers and everything. I bet all of Australia is finding it hard to sleep tonight:!!  (or this morning..or whatever time it is there)

p.p.s.- I told my father that I was going to punch him in the face today. Should I be insulted that he laughed? 

p.p.s.- When I told my mom I had diagnosed myself with anxiety she was like "I don't know, honey. You seem kind of manic to me." That's right. She called me bipolar. Wait until I tell my therapist... :) 

The one who catches all your tears

Random Life Updates

I no longer need to wear makeup. (which I do AT LEAST once a year)- I can just photo shop it on later. I added blush and eyeliner to the above picture. Pretty sweet, eh?

I am now running two different sessions of group therapy at my job every week. One for teens and one for adults. Yikes. Sometimes I just want to go in and sit and see if someone else will run it. That would be nice.

I wished so hard that I could leave from work today and go play soccer with Elly. Because I want it to keep being fall and I want to keep playing with her in the backyard forever. (except when she kicks the ball at my head and laughs)

As I may have mentioned previously on this blog, I like to diagnose myself. Call it a side effect of having diagnosed literally thousands of people at this point. I see so much mental illness in myself. (I also wonder if my self diagnoses are legally binding-since I am authorized by the state of Pennsylvania to diagnose mental illness)

Anyway- I've spun the wheel and decided that I am anxious. So, I decided to get myself on some anxiety meds. I've tried this once before and it was EPIC because I was neutral about everything. 

I was telling my sister Erin on the phone tonight about my meds and she was shrieking "you better get off those meds when I come home for Christmas. I don't want you all neutral and uncaring about everything!"

It was making me laugh. 

So, anyway, if the tone of this blog begins to change- like getting kind of an edgy, angry, apathetic vibe- now you know why.

It's probably uncomfortable for people to read about whatever mental illness I've diagnosed myself with and the meds I'm taking. I'm losing the ability to separate my work and non work self.

I was hiking around Valley Forge the other day with my former intern Laura and her roommate and I was telling them (in way too loud a voice) about the sex homework I give couples who are struggling with their love life. 

On a completely unrelated side note- NEVER google 'sex homework'. 

Anyway, I was thinking about starting to go by 'L'. 

Because I love the name "Elle" and I can justify using it. My name starts with an L. 

Any thoughts?

L. Ann

I keep falling

Lori Ann

You've moved on

I am so excited for the progress I've made in the last year or so. This is the difference between me at my
highest weight to now. I still have about 100 lbs to lose but I feel so much better.

Two of the things that have made me the happiest about losing weight have been:
1. My skin is so much clearer. I think this is related to giving up soda. I kinda love my skin now.
2. Someone told me that I looked just like my mom. I'd rather be compared to my mom than any supermodel on Earth. She is gorgeous.

If I can keep going and make long lasting healthy life choices and really get moving with my exercise, I wonder where I could be in one year from now?

Lori Ann

It feels like home to me

Random Pictures, Videos, and Life Events. 

Happy All Saint's Day, people!!

First the random I love PA video I made tonight because I was bored and couldn't justify stealing anymore Halloween candy from my nieces/nephews. 

And I can't force myself to do anything constructive on Friday night:)

Now on with the randomness..

The Elly Jump!

She poses with me if I practice soccer with her. It's a win-win.

Our pumpkins with a pumpkin!
p.s.- Could my nieces be any more colorful?

At my doctor's office. Where she told me that I AM NO LONGER DIABETIC!
 Thank you 145 lb weight loss:) 

Halloween morning from my parent's back porch. My ipad camera doesn't capture the vivid colors or the spooky, fog shrouded feeling.

A little preview of about 15 years from now. 4 Monrobies in the back of the paddy wagon.

I need ideas on how to get revenge on my coworkers. They George Clooney'd me. 

I will now explain the George Clooney incident, even though you didn't ask and most likely would rather not know.

A month or so ago we had this "think positive' company planning type in service. During the in service, we had to make collages with our table. I happened to be at a table with one of our psychiatrists and our office manager. Upon finding a full page picture of Rand Paul, I made the rash announcement that I thought he (and all libertarians) to be hot.

This did not sit well with them. At some point, Diana (the doc) said "He's no George Clooney- in looks or politics". 

It became clear that our taste in men and politics were just about opposite. 

So, I innocently hung a picture of Rand Paul on her office door. 

I had no idea what I had just started.

Random pictures of George Clooney started appearing in my client files. 

In response, I made her and the office manager (Michele) mugs that said "Limited Government is sexy" and " George Clooney is overrated" (or something like that)

Then they did THIS.

I counted 20 George Clooney pics in all. They had IT change my sign in password to George Clooney. Then 10 people came into my office with George Clooney masks on and DANCED. 

How can I beat that?

I need to get Rand Paul to Penn Foundation. ASAP.

Wish me luck and HAPPY NOVEMBER!!

Lori Ann