Saving all your food stamps and burning down the trailer park

Random Saturday Afternoon Updates

(the I'm too lazy to upload pictures edition)

This is the first time in TSC history that my title really is just song lyrics I like and has nothing at all to do with the post. Which is probably hard to believe because I get that most of my post titles seem completely pointless. But they always have meaning to me. 

Anyway...

I am going to dye my hair "brown/black" tonight. Danielle has already proclaimed it (upon seeing the box) "greasy black". Jealous, much? 

I've downloaded 4 of the books on my 100 greatest books list. And before you ask, no, I still haven't finished the last 100 pages of Moby Dick. Melville is KILLING me. 

I'm kind of tired of supporting artists that I don't agree with. Not that I don't appreciate that art is more than a person's politics or life choices but I think I'm going to start voting not just with my ballot but with my wallet as well. Sorry, Lady Gaga. I'm going to miss our nights singing "Telephone" together while I dance alone in my room.

It's weird how I'm seeing everything from my patriarchal blessing coming to pass. It talks about me finding a desire to strengthen and refine my body and my seeking out the most uplifting in music, etc. And having compassion for people and meeting them where they are. I pray for that every single day before I meet with my first client- that I can meet them where they are. 

Speaking of which, being a therapist has freed me in so many way. I used to think that I had to be a certain way. A way that would make everyone happy all the time. But I've kind of embraced that I can be who I am, even if people don't understand and like it. I've said it enough to other people that it's finally sunk in with me. Thanks, therapy. 

Danielle and my dad leave for Paris in about 4 days. I'm debating whether I will end up: A. accidentally burning down her house, B. getting one of the children injured through my negligence, or C. become a modern day Mary Poppins that will bring joy and order to my sister's children's lives. 

I know what you are all thinking...probably a combination of A and B, right? Yeah, I vote for that one too:) 

I put on my pumpkin spice lotion this morning. I promised myself I'd wait for Sept 1st, but I couldn't stand the wait. I am now declaring it OFFICIALLY FALL!!! 

Oh my gosh, it makes me so happy to say it, even if the weather doesn't quite agree yet.

Lori Ann

Talk and talk about you and what you need

You guys, this will be my 718 post.

 Good lord, what I am talking about on this blog that requires 718 posts?

Since this is such a momentous occasion, I should probably blog about important stuff.

Here we go...

I gave a presentation at work yesterday.

 The main feature of this presentation was chocolate-peanut butter rice krispy treats.

Made by my dad.

 YES.

It bothers me that I don't know geographically where Syria is.

I don't even know the names of most of the towns in the county I live in.

 What does that say about me?

I can't tell the political mood of the country anymore.

 There are moments when I think (and hope!) we are swinging right and then moments (umm..the VMA's) when I think we are on a one way train to left land.

I need to give up the ginger ale.

I've got Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah on repeat track in my office.

 I am writing this one minute and finishing evals the other.

I went to bed last night at 8 pm.

8 pm, people.

I wish I could have brought the kids to the 50th anniversary of the March on DC.

 Except, it seems like conservatives weren't really invited.

Not sure how Dr. King would feel about that.

Speaking of Martin Luther, one of my life goals is to tape my complaints about the LDS church to the same church doors that Martin Luther nailed his 99 Theses.

 Like "I want 2 hours, not 3" and " Bring back refreshments after baptisms".

This time next week Danielle will be in Paris.

 And I will be rummaging through her house, taking stuff that I want.

Lori Ann

A land down under

You know how everyone has that one non American friend?

That one that you refer to when you are kind of in a hipster type mood?

"This is my best friend Sven..he's Croatian".

It makes you seem super cool and well traveled to your friends.

Well, TSC is so anti-hipster, but I will admit...

I do have that friend.

Introducing my VERY FAVORITE Australian EVER..

Sarah

Sarah and I met on a strange tour bus in the middle of Europe.

In 2007, I went on a two week Contiki tour of Europe. Like 11 cities in 12 days or something.

Contiki; by the way, is code for "everyone on this bus will be drunk and mildly hostile"

Anyway, Sarah and I became travel companions.

She taught me Australian slang.

She saved me seats.

She ran through the streets of Amsterdam with me.

(well...she ran, I sped walked, yelling "just leave me!")

She tried weird foods with me.

We walked down the Spanish Stairs together, through the gates of a concentration camp together.

We rode a gondola through a tiny Venice canal and saw Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

We somehow avoided pot together and whistled at hot tranvestite hookers together.

Every picture I have of myself in Europe was taken by Sarah.

She is hilarious, 'no worries', scary smart, kind to strangers, a good friend; and perhaps most important, part American. 

And she needs to get herself and her adorable husband out here to visit ASAP!

Check out her new (and super cool) blog out in my sidebar. ====>>>>>

(where she talks about getting ready for Halloween now that it's spring. So strangely awesome)

 Lori "yeah, I have an Australian friend" Ann

There's a good energy in the gym

So my personal trainer texted me this morning.

"We miss you at the gym!"

Ugh.

Despite my "hang on by the tips of your fingers" post last week, I haven't really gotten motivated to work out and get back to the gym.

Yes, both of my feet have had various issues but there nothing I couldn't work around.

I only walked 3 miles total last week.

I didn't even get to the gym ONCE.

I know this feeling.

This is the top of the icy hill, about to go down the slippery slope of laziness.

This is one of the hardest battles I have ever fought. My head will start with me, giving me a million and one reasons not to go the the gym, not to walk, not to do ANYTHING except veg out in front of the TV and go to bed early.

My brain has the sweet, seductive voice of the devil. 

"You've had a long day of dealing with other people's mental health issues, give yourself a break"

"You can get up early tomorrow and do it. That will be awesome!"

" You are so tired. Just give yourself the night off. One night won't kill you"

" Go home, go to bed early, and then tomorrow, you can really focus and get started!"

I've thought all of these things in the last 5 minutes. (because I brought my workout clothes and am planning to go to the gym after work)

This time it has to be different. I want a different life. I want a different body. I don't want anything to slow me down anymore.  

So...

I'm signing up for another 12 (expensive) sessions with my trainer.

I was going to try and do it on my own but I need the accountability and the encouragement.

Back to the gym we go....

Lori Ann

And I'm just dreaming

 

The unofficial 4th Hinsdale sister- our cousin Lisa



This blog has no true theme. Sometimes it's a recipe book. Sometimes it's an obsessive aunt's video diary. Other times it resembles nothing more than a middle schooler's journal.

But I've decided to not care. More than anything, I want it to be something my nieces and nephews can read when they are older and learn about me, their family, and their lives when they were young.

So, with that said...here is the final Jersey post.

The untold stories of the Jersey Shore.

So, at our sub par Comfort Inn, Uncle Dave ended up sharing a suite (a suite!) with the boys. You'd think it would be a late night party and frat house atmosphere, right?

 Wrong.

I went to check on the boys on Sunday morning and found the boys up, watching cartoons in the one room next to an empty pizza box and tipped over soda bottles. I asked where Uncle David was and they pointed to the door leading into the other room of the suite. "He's in there and he's not to be disturbed".

Oh my gosh. Though he has three sisters, Dave is by far the biggest prima donna of our family for sure:)

When we got the church, my sister's kids were given the opportunity to do a musical number. "I am a child of God". It was the four of them and our 8 year old cousin Emma. It started out rough and got worse from there. Only James sang the first verse. None of them knew the second or third verse. Although James gamely sang the first verse over and over. It was the most amazing musical number in my 33 years as a Mormon. And that's saying something. 

The splat (or slop) pig incident was our biggest vacation meltdown. After 7 hours on the beach and boardwalk I made the wise decision to take Danielle's kids to an arcade. Which turned out to be half casino/half arcade. Elly won a pink squishy ball called a 'splat pig'. Within three minutes, the splat pig had exploded all over the arcade floor. Elly proceeded to have an exorcist like screaming and crying fit that lasted like 20 solid minutes. Until a kind stranger gave her enough tickets to get another one. That splat pig dream lives on.

And lastly, the sunscreen incident. On these trips we go on, it's always clear that Danielle is the mom. It's clear because: She has the mom muscles to carry any of them any length of distance if needed, she isn't having a raging fit meltdown with them after 10 minutes, she isn't saying 'yes' to every donut, pretzel, and candy they reach for, AND..she doesn't let them apply their own sunscreen. Which I did. Which led to James being labeled "the masked avenger" by my dad for the strange pattern of sunburn on his face.

So..the long, probably boring to people who weren't there, stories of the great Shore trip of 2013. May we have many more Shore stories to come!

Lori Ann

I do not want to see a world without him

Ok, I have two reviews for you today, dear readers.

Once again, our Jersey stories will have to take a back seat to whatever is capturing my attention in this moment. (and still my doctor will not give me ADHD meds...)

Anyway, last night I saw the movie version of The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones. The 17% rating on Rotten Tomatoes should have been my warning but I figured it was a just a few bitter reviews who didn't recognize greatness when they saw it.

No, they were right.

It was the WORST of all of the recent teen angsty type series. The main character was like Bella Swan in a black leather outfit. If she broke down crying self indulgently one more time, I was going to smack her in the face. It had the same level of we've left out all of the good stuff you really liked-ness of Harry Potter. And a lot of similar plot elements- a Voldemort, a Dumbeldore, a magical child left in the dark, a Jacob-Edward love triangle..no wait, that's when it veered back into Twilight territory again. 

Anyway, bottom line...the books are mediocre (not that I can stop reading them) but the movie is enragingly tepid. (I did see a preview for Catching Fire which looks amazing and THE BOOK THIEF! I had no idea it was going to be a movie!)

Now, on to my second review..

My newly discovered cousin; Ann, (well she's been there all along, but I did not technically meet her until last week)- is JUST LIKE ME.

You guys, I never knew that there was anyone in my mom's family JUST LIKE ME. Loves Harry Potter, is a writer, wants to live somewhere where it rains a lot. 

Anyway, she recommended to me her favorite book "The Fault in Our Stars".

I downloaded it and started reading at about 7 am this morning.

I closed my iPad at 10 am, tears streaming down my sun burnt cheeks.

I haven't cried like that since the end of Half Blood Prince.

Best book I have read since the Hunger Games.

I highly recommend it. 

Lori Ann 

Did you think it would?

Ok, so we sadly must interrupt this week of blogging about epic Jersey adventures and report the following:

Last week, I fell off the wagon.

I wore these weird shoes to work on Tuesday and they hurt my feet and so I decided to stay off of them for a day so that I didn't do any long lasting damage.

One day turned to about seven.

And I wasn't just missing the exercise. I was eating salt water taffy, drinking root beer, eating cheese fries, slices of pizza, and ginger ale by the gallon.

I was; I realized, just falling back into the old me.

And I'm not going to let that happen. Not ever again.

Today was the first time I have been walking in a week.

And my gosh, I could feel it.

When I was walking several miles every day, I got to a place where; when I walked, I felt like I was on one of those airport moving sidewalks- (the best ones are in SLC)- like my feet could just glide along and I could keep going forever.

Today, I felt like I was dragging two dead tree stumps through the swamp.

I only did 2.2 miles but it felt like 10.

Let this be a lesson you, Lori Hinsdale...and to all of my dear readers...

It's so painful climbing back on the wagon.

No matter what, even if you have to cling on by your fingertips, it's better to hang on.

Lori Ann

p.s.- I'm going to the gym tonight, baby! Wish me luck!!

Burn brighter than the sun

Another classic recap of our latest adventure. 

Danielle's kids are growing up so fast.

 I feel like time is flying and there are still a million more things I want to do and see with them.

I wish I could show them the whole entire world. 

(except Canada-their mother can show them that)

Lori Ann

We've got each other and that's alot

I once wrote a post about how going to Europe made me feel like I was going home, even though it was a place that I had never been. Going to Jersey feels the same in a strange way. 

Except I've been there..oh yes, I know Jersey well.

Here (in 23 torturous pictures) is a look at our beach weekend/family reunion/crazy party/emotional journey of the last few days..

Every great Hinsdale trip starts with my dad cussing everyone out. This time it was for letting the infamous Sour Krout escape the house. 

Elly took literally 184 pictures of herself. Oh Elly..you truly are my mini me

Another Amish market!

We got donuts and bread and pretzels and every other kind of carb known to man

Then we arrived at the Jersey shore. Wildwood to be specific. I've lived there and it hasn't changed much. Stay classy, Wildwood!

Off to the beach!

It was about a mile of HOT sand to get to the ocean. 

My very favorite picture of the whole trip!

A 'real' vacation picture. Uncle Dave was keeping the kids entertained while Danielle and I changed in the car. Nothing like risking a fine for indecency. 

Junior and the kids got lost in the fun house. ha ha. We kept seeing their feet going around in circles.

One day I will get them all synchronized on a 'jump shot'

This one is for you, Eri!

After about 8 hours on the beach and boardwalk

 Our best vacation meltdown!

checking out on our way to church:) Don't my mom and the girls look so pretty?

Danielle and the girls!

We had my grandma's party at the Cape May Zoo. 

My cousin Maddy decorated everything and I am totally going to stalk her pinterest now!

My mom and her sisters

My mom, her sisters, her mom, and one of my uncles. 

Jack Jack kept saying that Aunt Debbie looked like Nana Terry's twin. They are Irish twins- born less than one year apart:) 

We Hinsdales/Monroes keep it classy at family gatherings!

The whole family picture after Sacrament Meeting. It's missing probably about 30 or more people.

So, I know this is a long picture post but I have SO MANY STORIES. You don't even know. Things get crazy when you cross the state line into Jersey.

There is the splat pig incident.

The "he is not to be disturbed" incident.

The musical number from hell.

The "don't let the kids apply their own sunscreen" incident.

And, you guys, I found someone in my mom's family who is just like me! She writes fan fiction and loves Harry Potter and she is learning to use a bow and arrow like Katniss!

I don't know if that means my cousin Ann is mature for 15 or I am immature for 33. Who knows? :)

I'll be blogging about this all week! Be warned!

Lori Ann

All the stories are true

Ok, so I just read this yesterday.

Sure it has the vaguely familiar undertones of several book and movie series: Harry Potter, Twilight, and even a little Star Wars.

But I will admit to already being addicted.

It has everything I love:

Independent and powerful female protagonists

Folklore

Betrayal

Heartbreak

Witty repartee

And cute, slightly emo gay boys.

*sigh*

Emo gay boys.

Anyway..

It's a six part series (5 are already out) and I probably won't be sleeping much until I read EVERY SINGLE ONE.

On an unrelated side note, I have to go to Jersey tomorrow.

Yikes.

Pray for me.

Lori Ann

That he was here with me

My parents defintion of a "classy, timeless" Paris pic

                                               

 My dad's birthday isn't until tomorrow.

But my 4 o'clock cancelled, so let's do this dance!

On to the tribute...

Tomorrow my dad will be 63.

63.

And yet, he is still the same dad I grew up with. He hasn't changed AT ALL.

He is still the strongest, scariest, most intelligent man I have ever met.

And he's still a great Dad.

And so I wanted to say thanks...

Thanks for all the times you: bailed me out, picked me up off the side of the road, fixed my car, moved my furniture, made me tuna casserole, brought me lunch, dropped me off at the airport at midnight, picked me up at the airport at midnight, made me laugh, taught me something, lit candles in Paris for me, bought me sneakers, slipped me money, believed in me, yelled at mean people for me, gave me blessings, taught me to be brave, and brought me delicious cupcakes for no reason at all.

It has always meant the world to me.

Thanks, Dad.

Love,

Oreo

 

But it's only in my dreams

Whenever someone says that they are going to blog about a dream they had, I get so excited. I mean, what is more exciting than someone else's dreams?

Umm..yeah...just about anything else.

I think I'd rather proof read your tax returns than hear about your dreams. (Unless you are my client, in which case I will say "Oh, that's fascinating. So what happened after your mom turned into a snake?")

Anyway, in classic TSC tradition, we are going against everything we stand for.

This blog post is about my dream last night.

So..me and my whole family were staying the little ski resort town that my sister Erin used to work out. It's literally for the super rich only. I babysat there and they gave me an IPOD as a tip.

Anyway, so it's Christmas time and we are all there.

We open all of our Christmas gifts one night when I realize that I got NOTHING. Not one gift.

And this becomes the central theme of the rest of the dream.

For some reason, shortly after the gift opening, my dad starts drinking all those little liquor bottles and is headed for alcohol poisoning. I turn to my shocked and concerned family members and say "I don't know if any of you realize this, but I got no gifts"

Of course, in my dream I had resolved to say nothing and be a total martyr. I frequently do this in real life. Of course, as in real life, my resolve lasted two minutes.

So then my mom ends up going back up to our vacation apartment (?) and is followed up there by a pot dealer.

These other thugs won't let us on a elevator to go and save my mom. Not sure why. But I keep saying to them over and over "Bottom line is, I didn't get any gifts".

I think I woke up about then. Luckily for you, dear readers.

Anyway, there you have it.

Fascinating, eh?

Lori Ann

Not crying on Sundays

 Early Sunday Evening Life Updates

I hate that the weekend is almost over. I would love for the US to transition to a 4 day work week. But it would probably only make me want a 3 day work week:) 

This is what I did so far this weekend:

Saw this movie:

It was pretty funny. I did feel guilty though as I abandoned my brother to seeing Smurfs 2 with my nieces. He is a really good sport. 

Speaking of nieces, I hung out with those crazy girls for a few hours yesterday. 

The nail polish rarely lasts even a whole day. I just want them to know it's important to take care of themselves.

Baking. I've recently gotten obsessed with making peanut butter cookies.

My mom made both the girls Amish style aprons. They are SOO cute:) 

I really wish these pictures told the whole story but they are only a small glimpse into our crazy girl's day out. These are the funniest, coolest, and prettiest girls in the whole world. 

Yesterday I also walked 5 miles. I was trying to meet my fitness goal of walking 15 miles this week. I only made it to 13 total. I had planned to walk 7 miles yesterday but called it quits after 5 when I started to feel a little light headed:) 

That didn't stop me from going to the gym at 9:30 pm yesterday night. 

Here are various 

pictures of me

when I am done 

working out.

I look so insane.

I'm not sure what 

drives me to 

take these

pictures. Besides

sheer narcissism.

My sister spoke at church today. It was a great talk. The personal confession was a little less shocking than what I like to see, but I'll give her a pass. I'm not all that sure that Danielle has much to confess to anyway:) 

Katy really hung in there until the closing hymn. That's when she finally gave up on life. 

Danielle thinks I'm singing hymns on my ipad. Hah.

Speaking of siblings, I never really got to document this. 

The mature and one year older siblings

Danielle is officially the party decorator for all parties now

My dad made these ribs. So crazy.

Their combined age and a nod to the upcoming Paris trip!

I just love this one

                   Lori Ann

Such a sweet surprise

Ok, let's make it official and call this

"The long summer of tedious health and fitness updates from Lori".

I am getting bored of this topic.

But will that stop me from blogging about it? Of course not.

So, anyway...

I am always looking for signs that I am transitioning into a healthy person. Instead of a "this is just a manic few months of working out to be shortly followed by regaining all the weight and then some" type person.

A few things that I have noticed lately that give me hope:

1. It looked like it was going to rain the other day right before I left work. I was grumbling to myself  "It better not rain and ruin my walking". Holy hannah...old Lori would have prayed for rain as a reason to get out of walking.

2. I realized today that I have been going to the gym (at LEAST 2 times a week) since April. It's August now, b@$tches!

3. I have 7 workout itunes mixes. (including the much dreaded "5 mile mix") 

4. Today, after walking a few miles and working out I was so excited to leave the gym and treat myself.  I was going to stop at the CVS and get myself....drum roll, please.... a giant flavored water and wild cherry tic tacs.  Not a box of tasty cakes. Not a king size kit kat. Not 3 cokes and a bag of pretzels. (All things I've stopped to get myself before). I STOPPED FOR FLAVORED WATER AND TIC TACS, baby!!

5. When I got to the office, somebody had brought donuts in and I didn't even stop to smell them, much less eat 2. Or 3.

So, there you have it.

Maybe I am really becoming the healthy Lori.

Weird.

Anyway, those wild cherry tic tacs are calling my name:)

Lori Ann

If I sat and smiled

It's only 9:22 am.

It feels like it should be like 3:17 pm or something.

I have seven appointments in a row beginning at 10 am.

*I just literally put my head down on my desk in defeat*

I already had an 8 am appointment.

And I walked two miles before work.

I might walk a few more after work.

If I survive.

It's 9:26. Only 4 minutes have passed.

Holy Hannah, it's going to be a long day.

This super excited and upbeat blog post brought to you by:

Lori Ann

p.s.- about 26 days until PARIS!!!

You don't think he's drowning them, do you?

I decided to walk outside today, instead of on the treadmill.

It is my version of the perfect summer day today. About 75, bright blue skies, and a chilly breeze.

Holy hannah, I forgot how much I loved walking outside.

I've been on that treadmill for months now and I honestly loathe every second of it.

But walking outside absolutely inspires me.

I only walked two miles (I had to get to work) but I could have kept walking and walking forever.

Especially with my completely awesome itunes mix. Which has everything from The Beatles to Sir Mix a Lot. Nothing quite as jarring as going from 'Let it Be' to 'I like Big Butts'.

Anyway,

I am glad it is a beautiful day today. It's my beautiful sister's birthday, after all.

And even though I said it yesterday, I wish her the best of birthdays and an amazing 36th year.

Lori Ann

p.s.- Danielle- next year it will be me, you, and the picture of Jesus. Be warned!

Strong and Kind

It's our family's unofficial twin day.

Otherwise known as the day we celebrate the birthdays of David and Danielle. 

Their actual birthdays are August 3rd and August 5th- born a year and 2 days apart. 

So we usually meet in the middle and do a twin style combined party. 

 I have recently learned the "joys" of this type of combined party when my nephew Jack was born one day after my birthday. It gave me an appreciation for the good naturedness of my older siblings. It's not easy to always share your birthday. 

Anyway, enough about us October babies...

Happy not exactly birthday to both of them. I couldn't have asked for better examples, better leaders, better friends. 

You are both everything that I ever aspire to be. 

Lori Ann