The one you'll know by

Dumpster diving

is the practice of sifting through commercial or residential trash to find items that have been discarded by their owners, but that may be useful to the dumpster diver.

I don't know what you do with your mothers.

 Maybe manicures.

 A girls night out.

 Anything, you know, legal.

My mom and I dumpster dive.

Well, she dumpster dives while I sit in the car, being the look out.

I keep trying to tell her that I wouldn't make it in prison.

 Or even through a night in "the tank".

My dad always calls it that.

 I have no idea why it's called that.
  But he does.

Have you ever looked at your parents and thought

" dear heaven, who are these people?"

Anyway, if I end up in the big house, send me brownies.

 And trashy novels.

 And a Ryan Gosling poster.

 And gummi bears.

Lori Ann