About the South Lands

And now..on with my riveting life story.

The final chapter.

(because everything else is on this blog)

So, I am 28 years old.

Moving from my parents house in PA to Reidsville, North Carolina.

I, as previously mentioned, did not have a job or a place to live.

But I had a dream.

Yuck.

 No, I did not.

 I just said that to seem more inspirational than I am.

ANYWAY

So, I get down South and I think I lasted about 2 nights staying with my sister.

My mom (who came down with me) eventually kicked me out of my sister's house for "holding the whole family hostage with my tooth pain".

Whatever that means.

(I think it means that I was literally whining and crying incessantly about how much my tooth hurt) 

It's the first and last time I've ever been kicked out of anywhere.

I felt so badass in that moment.

By this time I had procured my shady little apartment on Main Street.

Erin came with me to the Walmart at midnight that night and helped me get some essentials- air mattress, dishes, some food- I was also obsessed with getting a toilet bowl cleaner.

 Not sure why in retrospect.

I moved into my apartment and within 2 weeks (with the help of my sister Danielle) found a job.

At Youth Haven.

I will never talk bad about Youth Haven.

Well, actually I will and have on repeated occasions, especially on this blog.

The company itself was amazing.

My coworkers and the work itself- kind of insane.

There was politics and backstabbing and coupe de graces and I had 11 different offices and 4 different jobs over 3 years.

I had a supervisor who made me cry but refused to offer me tissues because "that would presume that he thought my crying was not ok" (he told me never to offer a crying client tissues- a rule I break daily) and then he would show me odd videos on youtube.

I had a coworker who; the week I lost my voice, declared in front of the whole office- "This is the greatest week of my life!"

I learned what 'slow hoeing" means.

 (Don't google it!)

I drove around Rockingham County North Carolina in my red focus (after the Altima died an untimely death) at all hours of the night.

I ate WAY too much fast food.

I got involved in breaking up fights, buying client's clothes, helping people leave their spouses, cat exchanges at midnight, and every other strange thing that occurs in the trenches of social work.

Plus, on top of that, I was spending the most time I ever had with my nieces and nephews.

Those are some of my most cherished memories.

The rubber duck regatta.

The cookie baking parties.

The formation of the Secret Club.

The trips to the park in a torrential downpour.

The game nights.

The time Danielle and I tried to tire her kids out by paying them in m and m's to run around the whole yard.

(Didn't work).

The time I locked Elly in her room for screaming and she ended up using the bathroom in a wicker basket.

I think the word "Chaos" best depicts my life in the South.

And "Fried Food" and "Barely concealed Racism" and "Cut on the Lights" and "The War of Northern Aggression" and "Alcohol at the Company Christmas Party".

I learned alot in my 3 years in the South.

I got my clinical licensure.

I lived on my own in that state for a full year.

I learned how to do things for myself.

Like brave the shady laundry mats.

And get my car fixed.

And how to make bread.

And how to decorate my very own Christmas Tree.

I wouldn't trade that time for anything.

That being said, I won't be moving back to the South.

Nothing but PA feels like home.

So...this is where my life story posts end.

This blog picks up in the middle of my time down South and so you people know the story from there.

Consider yourselves blessed.

Everyone else is going to have to pay for my autobiography and you've all gotten it for free.

Lori Ann

p.s.- I named Sugar after my time in the South. In the South, the word Sugar is kind of interchangeable for "love". :)

Ain't no Sunshine

The Orange Menace. Also known as my niece Katy's new cat. It's name changes every hour. Here are the names it has had so far:

Gizmo

Aysreal

Cutie Pie

Adorable

Elsa

Sweet Potato

Ginger

Spice

Nutmeg

Hobbes

Salty Devil

And I am sure there are others that I don't even know about.

This thing is going to have identity issues.

Erin is leaving today.

Life is so much less fun when Erin leaves. 

She made us all "sit out on the stoop Northeast Philly style" last night.

Where she proceeded to tell more FALSE stories about me sexually harassing her.

 (which doesn't sound funny but is when she says it)

She encouraged our nieces and nephews to steal my dad's cookies.

("They are right next to him and he's sleeping..go get them!")

She ranted about how the news is always on at my parents house.

She discussed how she thinks me and my dad should have our own club.

Called the "socially inappropriate addicts" club.

She cackled over me getting in trouble with my mother.

Which Danielle high fived her over.

"Lor, you never get in trouble. It's nice to see"

While she has been here the following things have happened:

Attempted theft

("where does Dad keep his bolt cutters?")

Politically correct dinner parties

("I think the Palestinians have a good argument")

Battle of the Pizza nights

("I told mom that I want East Coast pizza, NOT pizza hut!")

Various drug interventions

("Lor..are you a meth addict?")

Cat rescues

("She was opening all the cages, going crazy!")

Crappy movies/Camp memories

(" So, then in the arts and crafts cabin..")

Fashion reality checks

("Why do you like tight, black clothes? I'm just saying..")

Cat spoiling

("Thomas is just so pretty. He can't help it, he's so precious")

And a million more festive moments

 I am going to miss her.

Erin is always the missing piece in our lives.  

Since she is going home (and I have run out of excuses) I have decided that now is FINALLY the time to get focused on my training.

So, prepare for long rambling posts about how bad my feet hurt.

3 weeks and 5 days until my next halfie!

Lori Ann

(favorite sister of Erin Leigh) 

Hinsdale Family Folklore

I don't know how all of you feel about English muffins.

They are kind of the love of my life.

Well, that's probably understating it a bit.

They are my very reason for existing and they get me through bleak, endless day after bleak, endless day.

So, imagine my confusion when this morning, I look over to see my brother eating something that looks strangely like MY English muffins.

"Is that an English muffin?"

(I say this in the same tone someone might say "Why did you kill my baby?")

"Umm..yeah"

Deep breath. Hold it together, Lori. Hold it together.

"Was it the LAST English muffin?"

(I say this in the tone of "your mother better come by and say goodbye to her baby boy because this is it for you")

"Umm...yeah"

I have heard of people seeing red but I'd never experienced it until 5:52 am this morning, watching my brother eating my LAST English muffin.

Unfortunately, while I was sorting through the kitchen knives, trying to find one sharp enough to do some real damage, my dad took him to work.

And brought me an English muffin from Dunkin Donuts.

I just wanted this recorded for my posterity.

Because seriously, some things are sacred.

Family. Country. Religion.

And above all else...English muffins.

Sleep with one eye open, Jr!

Lori Ann

p.s.- My niece Katy got a kitten! It's name changes every hour but it's ORANGE! Welcome to the crazy cat lady club, Katy!

Maybe I never told you

Random Monday Morning Updates

I feel like I am writing such random stuff lately.

 Like I need to focus on more profound thoughts or my feelings about current events.

 But that takes a lot of emotional energy.

 I need my energy for plotting revenge and setting unrealistic goals.

My sister Erin in in town.

 In case I forgot to mention it 100 times.

 She is taking my niece Katy to adopt a kitten from the SPCA today.

 Holy Hannah

. Life is about to get really crazy.

I took today off from work since Erin is here.

 I love having Mondays off.

 Because it's the day I end up doing mostly mental health evaluations.

 And everyone needs a break from administering mental health evaluations. 

I had a sleepover with the infamous Queen Elizabeth last night.

 It involved face masks, sparkly nail polish, camp fire, and talking about true beauty. 

I look so scary in this picture. Yikes!

We had a family slash neighborhood camp fire last night and made smores.

 I forgot my phone so I couldn't take any pictures.

 It's nice to just live in the moment at times. 

It felt like magical childhood.

 The kids were roasting marsh mellow and chasing fire flies and laughing.

 My mom and Jr were singing in horrible accents, my dad was sitting in a wheelbarrow.

 It's moments like that when I find my hatred of summer dimming a little. 

I'm completely off track with my training and I've got just under 4 weeks.

 It's really, honestly time to kick it into gear. 

I went out with the sister missionaries to teach a Hispanic man named Paco. 

It's the first time since my mission that I have gone out teaching.

 It was amazing. 

It's weird how easy it is to go back to the place. 

Maybe because it's similar to what I do every day. 

Talking to people I've just met about serious and important issues.

The sisters told my sister Danielle that we sound alike, have the same laugh and the same mannerisms, etc.

 I pretended to be outraged but I always love it when people compare me to my mom or sisters. 

Ok, so we are going to be back on track tomorrow. 

One more day of fun and craziness and then back to our goals and focused blogging!

Lori Ann

I can always find my way

My sisters don't like when I blog about them. 

Last night Erin kept saying "Don't social media us!" 

But I have to record the story of last night. 

(Despite my very real fear of consequences)

So, somehow we ended up hanging out in my room. 

Danielle was crafting 

(updating her kid's quote boards)

She was making me laugh because she kept saying "I'm going to google how to make felt flowers" and " I have to go the craft room AGAIN? Why don't you have a glue gun in here?" 

My mom confiscated the fabric cutting scissors Danielle was about to use to cut paper. 

"Those are my fabric cutting scissors! How did you find them?!"

I felt like I was 10 again. 

Erin, of course, was stirring the pot.

Telling UNTRUE stories about me. 

Dancing.

Egging Katy on to go downstairs and demand that Grandpa make her a hot dog.

I was the calm amidst all the drama. 

(As always)

I was laying on my bed.

With my stuffed rabbit. 

Martyr like. 

But seriously...

They make me laugh so much. 

Erin kept saying I was 'mad dogging' and 'creeping' on her and also that I have tried to kill her various times.

Danielle was talking about her dream of rescuing orphans from a fire.  

They were intent on getting me onto an LDS singles site. 

They made no effort to hide their thoughts about what they should put out there.

"We have to make her sound charming, not angry like she really is"

"Put the truth about her weight. We don't want anyone to get a bad surprise when they meet her"

"Let's just be honest. It's better that way"

"What DO you do with your spare time?"  "She reads trashy gay loves stories" "We can't put that down"

Then, their selection of guys they thought I might like was interesting.

"Look Lor, he's got three kids and lives in Allentown" 

"This one has got a lot of selfies. You two are good pair"

" Oh no..he's kind of hideous." (whisper)"Don't say that " Ok...Lor! This one is really cute!"

I wish everyone had people like my sisters.

People who make you laugh so hard you feel sick.

Lori Ann

Around the tables you must go

Hey, people.

It feels like a Random Thoughts Friday.

 Extra Incoherent Edition.  

My sister Erin told me today "You are bleeding all over the place" in reference to the fact that most of my clients know I am Christian.

And my cat's name.

And all my wishes and dreams.

And because I made her take me to the store at the crack of dawn today to get cupcakes for one of my client's birthdays.

Whatever.

Doesn't your therapist celebrate your birthday?

People keep using this word  "boundaries" like it means something :)

ANYWAY

I have a 3 day weekend coming up!

I took Monday off since Erin is home.

I AM IN LOVE WITH 3 DAY WEEKENDS! 

There is just something magical about Sunday night, knowing you don't have to work the next day.

I have less than one month to my next halfie.

And I haven't trained in about 2 weeks.

This is now becoming a pre-race tradition.

Get WAY off track and then jam pack about 3 months of training into 4 weeks.  

I am planning to get back on track this weekend.

I don't want to die out there.

Well, unless it's in a super glorious way- like carrying another racer over the finishing line.

While carrying the American flag.

And saving the world from terrorism or something.

Not sure that is going to happen at the Upper Perkiomen Half Marathon or not.

I am concerned about that state of this country.

I don't think this is the 'hope and change' that all my crazy liberal friends voted for.  

But it's not bothering me as much as it would normally be.

My anti-anxiety meds are making me apathetic.

Which I love.

Sweet, sweet apathy.

Only about 5 weeks of summer

(I count September 1st as the first day of fall).

HOLY HANNAH I AM SO EXCITED FOR SUMMER TO BE OVER.

I am more excited for this Friday to be over.

So I can go home and hang out with my sisters :)

Have a great weekend, people!

Lori Ann

Cheers to lunch at night

Erin is home!!!

I always forget how crazy and fun it is here until Erin gets home. 

Here are just a few quotes from her being here about 12 hours...

Erin Leigh!!!

"If you and Lor got into a lesbian relationship, you would totally be the husband"
(to my sister Danielle)

"Yeah, everyone better get their flu shots before they get bitten by an illegal immigrant"

"Don't point your sausage finger at me!"

"You better get this cat to the vet!"

"People are just telling me that you post too many selfies, that's all"

"What are you learning from watching the news? Nothing!"

"You are living the life of a 65 year old woman!"

" I gotta be truthful. It creates safe boundaries"

"Grandpa has been pooping in a bucket"

"Why are you tired? You went to bed at like 8:30 pm!"

"You should be grateful for any donut we give you!"

"Your boy RSimmons was last seen holed up in a cabin with a bunch of donuts"

"Why are you all raged up, juiced up, and chasing the dragon at like 6:30 in the morning?"

"If we were druggies , I would be the pot head and you would be the coke addict"

Erin is the coolest person on Earth, I swear.

Even if she makes me feel like a bad cat mom :)

I got so lucky to get her as a sister.

SO LUCKY.

Lori Ann

The Ginger Snap



Dawn and the love of my life. Kelly.
(the dog I WILL steal from her one day)

Yesterday was my friend Dawn's birthday.

This will, therefore, (after years of family tributes) be my FIRST official, friend birthday tribute in almost 5 years of TSC.

It's a banner day, people!

Here are my very favorite things about this amazing girl on the day after her birthday...

Dawn is so sweet.

She has a very overwhelming job- she is our psychiatric medical assistant and deals with all of our client's medication issues, insurance companies, etc- and we've got like 10 psychiatrists- but there is never a time that I walk by her office and she doesn't say "Hey girl!" and take time to listen to me whine.

Dawn is a feisty red head.

She is actually slowly making me less of a ginger hater.

(Although I am super jealous of her fair 'I look like I am 18" skin. Seriously. Super. Jealous.)

Dawn is thoughtful.

She never forgets any one's birthday or special event.

She is the one that counted down my 1st half marathon with me.

She made me a sign EVERY DAY for like 50 days.

And since that wasn't enough, she organized a big (surprise) celebration, had a giant breakfast, made about 30 Team Lori shirts (which everyone wore all day), had the CEO stop by to cheer me on, had me featured in the company newsletter...you know..just a few small things.  

Dawn is a good mom.

She is at every baseball game, every school function, at the kitchen table doing homework after a long day at work.

She is exactly the kind of mom I would like to be.

Dawn makes me laugh. 

She sends me random emails and texts throughout the day when I feel like I am going slowly crazy.

Last night she sent me this picture.

It's hard to describe the awesomeness of Dawn in just words. 

But I guess what I am trying to say is that she is one of the kindest, hardest working, coolest girls I know.

I thank God for her friendship every day.

I think this is going to be your best year yet, Dawn!

You are an incredible person and such an amazing friend.

I hope you know that.

Lori Ann 

p.s.- The cookie war carried on into Day 2 last night. It wasn't pretty. There were accusations of cookie theft and cookie hording and it got pretty ugly. Also, my mom keeps saying "What can I do for Dawn?" Just be ready, my parents may take to lurking around your house, trying to be "helpful" :)

I'm following in His ways

Do NOT attempt to take cookies from my father. It will not end well.

This is my dad. Eating a giant plate of cookies made for him by my friend Dawn.

 (Happy Birthday, Dawnie!)

(I am totally going to write a post on Dawn tomorrow.

That girl rocks and has survived friendship with me for OVER A YEAR. Unheard of)

ANYWAY

He stopped by her pool on Saturday morning and fixed something. Just because I asked him to.

He was out there sweating. Swearing. The usual.

Dawn kept telling me "I'm going to pay him" and I told her "Don't even try. He will be offended".

I've had my grievances with the old man over the years and I always tell him that he should be paying for my therapy but I will always say that he is my example of true charity.

I can't count the number of times he had done something for someone not expecting anything in return.

 Rejecting any offer of money or thanks.

Never telling anyone what he did.

He used to take the missionaries grocery shopping and would stuff their carts full of stuff and then, when they tried to stop him from paying, he would say "You aren't big enough to stop me".

He mowed our next door neighbors lawn for years (she had a lot of issues) and no one knew. I found out when I happened to see him out there one day and asked him what was up.

Most people don't know how charitable he is because he doesn't talk about it or look for recognition.

There are qualities in each of my family members that I wish I had.

 Ways they are Christlike and such an example to me.

Charity is that quality in my dad.

I got really, really lucky when Heavenly Father chose him to be my dad.

Lori Ann

Only God knows where I've been

And now..after a two month hiatus...on with my life story.

 You can stop holding your breath in anticipation.

 (if you are still alive after holding your breath for two months!)

So, I finished graduate school at age 27 and did what every Masters Educated 27 year old does.

I moved home. 

(my life story is so badass, amirite?)

It took me about a month to find a job and in that month I read every single poem ever written by Emily Dickinson and crossed that off my Bucket List.

 (if you ever want to read about nature and death...look no further)

Nature and Death...and more Nature and Death. 

I started work as a "program specialist" at BARC.

 Which used to stand for "Bucks County Association for Retarded Citizens" before 'retarded' became no longer politically correct. 

I have no idea what it stands for now

I was basically a case manager at a day program for adults with intellectual disabilities. 

Because, as we see throughout my life, I had no plan and just flailed along until I found a job.

This job was interesting, tough, and not what I thought I would be doing. 

I was passing out meds, occasionally helping people in the bathroom, doing a lot of mindless paperwork, holding meeting that served no purpose, working part time in a group home at night, and wondering why I had just gone into so much debt to do this.

I did get to meet one amazing girl though.

 Her name is (or was before she got married) Karen Pepper.

 She later got her doctorate.

 Making her officially Dr. Pepper.

 Coolest thing ever. 

I stole this from her facebook. Like a stalker. 

She only lasted at BARC about a month. It's kind of an intense job.

 My CNA training was the only thing that kept me there for 9 months. 

I was used to the craziness and unrealistic job expectations.

 I am much more uncomfortable in a professional setting than I am in a high stress, running around kind of job.

Anyway, I mention Karen because she is one of the 3 people I have met in my life who REALLY got me.

(yes, I have a list of people. Besides my sisters- who are truly the ONLY people on Earth who completely get me)

She challenged me and made me feel like I was sharpening my brain and my sense of humor with every interaction. 

One thing I do almost every day is feel like I am 'dumbing myself down' or playing a role. I have no idea why.

Maybe because people don't really get me.

 But she did. 

She and I used to talk only in Guns and Roses song lyric quotes around other employees.

They must have thought we were insane. 

Anyway, by this point Danielle and Jack had moved to North Carolina and they had 3 kids.

(this was before the arrival of the infamous Katherine the Great)

I visited them a few times and I missed my niece and nephews so much. 

So, I decided to move down to the South. 

Without a job.

Without a plan. 

With just enough money to last a month or two. 

Other than my mission, it was the best decision I ever made for my life. 

That, though, is the next chapter in this life story.

Lori Ann

A thousand more

I think my bipolar is clearly demonstrated on this blog.

 I am going to use it as evidence when I apply for disability. 

Yesterday I was whining and today I feel happy again.

So, since it's a happy day today I wanted to cover a few more 

moments of perfect happiness

from my life. 

In no particular order, here they are...

The day I left the mission field is moment one.

I knew my mom was going to come get me.

 Chicago isn't that far from PA, maybe a 12-15 hour drive and my parents had not gotten to pick up Danielle or Jr, so my mom said she would come get me.

 Seeing her walk through that door at the mission home was a moment of perfect happiness in my life.

 To be quickly followed by another moment- when my dad surprised me and showed up as well.

 My mom said to go and look outside the door and there he was.

 Within 2 minutes he was lecturing me and giving me life advice.

 After an intense 18 months of not seeing and barely talking to my family, seeing them in that moment was what I bet it feels like when we go home to Heavenly Father.

 Perfect happiness.

Another moment was the day we (the employees of Penn Foundation) toured our new building.

 You all know I love the building I work in.

 Anyway, it was bright and beautiful and then my supervisor pointed me towards me office.

 I've had many "offices"

 (the quotes are necessary)

I think 13 to be exact- starting with my shady half office/half game room at my first internship.

 Most of them were the size of a shoebox and slightly run down.

  Seeing this bright, big office made me feel like I was really an adult.

 Really a therapist.

 Really successful in that I was doing something I loved.

 It was a moment of perfect happiness. 

October 8th, 2002.

 The day after I turned 23, I became an aunt.

 I am so jealous of everyone that gets to be an aunt at a younger age

. Being an aunt is the best thing about my life.

 I didn't know what love really was until October 8th, 2002.

 (Even if I was on a layover in Chicago when Jack Jack was actually born)

And those are today's

moments of perfect happiness. 

We will return to your regularly scheduled whining tomorrow. 

We will also discuss my new plan to give up sugar. 

(as recommended by my nutritionist)

Get ready for the sugar detox. 

It's going to be painful for all of us. 

Lori Ann

How can you say

Random Life Updates on an early Wednesday Morning



The infamous Hinsdale Four



Only one week until this evil group is all back together again!

(I copied it from facebook from my phone-sorry for the background)

I'm going to the movies tonight with my mom and my friends. Yes, I'm 13 again, people!

I have been feeling so run down lately.

 Like just tired all of the time.

 I took the day off yesterday because I had a horrible night and a low grade fever.

 But I kept calling my sister Erin all day going "do you think I have the rep of someone who is always sick?"

 She is always really reassuring.

 "Lor..you are such a narcissist. No one even cares about you calling out"

Danielle and Jack and  their kids are at the beach this week.

 I miss them.

 But I love how much fun they are having.

I am SO SO SO excited for Erin to come home.

 Everything is more fun with Erin here.

I have been off track with my half marathon training since the 13.1 I did last week.

 As in I haven't trained since then:(

 I am ready to get back on track though.

I've been feeling lately like its really time for me to get a handle on my eating.

 It's the one missing piece to a healthier life.

 I've given up soda and serious overeating but I need to give up sugar and snacks.

That's my next step.

I changed my insurance (due to it going up over a hundred a month- thanks, Obamacare) and now I have the high deductible plan.

 Last night my meds (3 scripts) cost me 114.

 Holy Hannah.

 You just can't win, people!

I need to find a way to get excited about my job again.

 I think it's been contributing to my burnout.

 I've been praying for more compassion and ways to find the strength to do this job.

 There are days I dream of having a manual labor job that doesn't require me to think or care.

I think part of my nature is to just never be really happy.

 I think I like existing in a state of semi-unhappiness.

ANYWAY

Today is going to be a good day.

 I'm done work at 4.

 I'm going to the movies.

 Then I'm getting all of my cleaning projects done because I don't have to be back to work until 12 :)

Wish me luck!!

Lori Ann

Dark the stars



My sister

Yesterday I had to speak in church.

For those of you non-mormons (you know who you are), a little explanation is probably in order.

Mormons don't have a pastor in the traditional sense.

One man (or woman) that gets up and preaches from the pulpit.

Instead all members of the church (usually 12 and older) are asked to speak at different times.

 I usually end up speaking about once a year.

You are given a topic (or sometimes you are encouraged to be inspired to think of one) and then you have about 15 minutes to speak to the whole congregation.

Yesterday my topic was sister missionary work.

As Mormons (or members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) we are asked to become missionaries.

 Jesus was a missionary for the last 3 years of his life.

 One of our primary directives as Christians is to share the word of God with others.

In other words, we are those annoying people who knock on your door when you are trying to sleep in on Saturday mornings.

 (we know you are there, so don't try to hide..we'll just keep knocking!)

I never thought of serving a mission.

 It has always been very optional for girls.

 For young men it's seen as a commandment, but for sisters (or women) it's always been a "if you want to" kind of deal.

I didn't want to.

I don't like to get out of my comfort zone.

I don't like wearing dresses.

But then my sister Danielle got her mission call to Montreal, Canada.

And I knew, in that moment, that I would serve.

I served a mission in Chicago Illinois from 2001-2002.

When I was 21 and 22 years old.

(I talk about it in my life story blog posts..which I do plan on finishing, by the way) 

Hardest, craziest, longest, shortest, most incredible, most intensely depressing, most rewarding time of my life.

In my talk I discussed how; in those 18 months of my life, I learned more than I have ever learned before or since.

More than anything else I learned to be fearless.

And I have my sister Danielle to thank for that.

She was the first sister missionary our family (entire extended family) had ever had.

If she hadn't served first, I would never have had the motivation or bravery to serve myself.

She, unlike me, has always been fearless.

She made me realize that you don't know the impact your life will have on others.

She literally changed my life.

Without my mission, I would likely not have finished college, much less graduate school.

Would not have had the bravery to live in so many different states.

Go to Europe.

 Get my clinical licensure.

Run a half marathon.

(ok, walk most of it)

Go after my dreams. 

Everything brave about me, I owe to her.

So, even though it's not your birthday and I know you hate this sentimenal crap...

Thanks, Moses.

You are everything I wish I could be.

Lori Ann 

(peanut butter jelly)

 P.S.

On an unrelated side note, my mother has been having crazy sleepovers and summer projects with my sisters kids.

Like these 'panda bear cupcakes' that she and Katy were making to try and alleviate world wide poverty.

They made 6 dollars.
(probably mostly from their favorite "customer" Grandpa- who spent 20 dollars at the last lemonade stand)

 I'm not sure how much has made it to the poor so far.

I'm surrounded by craziness.

This is your song

Random highlights from the last 24 hours 

(The "I'm blogging to avoid cleaning" Edition)

Last night and this morning have been busy.

We had our annual church Spaghetti Dinner and Dessert Auction.

(it's the only fundraiser we do all year. It's to help the youth program raise funds for their activities)

I got to spend the first part of the evening with my family and the rest of the night in a wild and crazy sleepover with Miss Elizabeth Mae Monroe.

Here are the highlights!! 

(Completely out of order)

Our sleepover.

We ate popcorn, watched Peppa Pig and Say Yes to the Dress and had the best time.

We made rainbow pancakes for everyone!

We're both kind of obsessed with sparklers.

So we did like 5 packs at 10 pm.

Because we're gangster like that.

Then we chased fireflies and made even more secret plans.
 (Elly and I are big on secret plans!)

I know I take too many pictures.

 But before I lost weight, I never took pictures with the kids.

 I am kind of trying to make up for it now.

 So, I go a little overboard at times:)  

Earlier in the night we ran over to Richlandtown and got ice cream at my friend Michele's AWESOME restaurant.

 Then we met her dogs, bird, daughters (minus one), talked about underwear and massages and sexual dsyfunction.

You know, normal casual visit conversation:)

Coolest friends ever!

This blurry picture represents the best moment of the night.

 My nephew Jack made a homemade chocolate cake for the dessert auction.

It made more money than any other dessert!!

My mom bought it after getting into a bidding war.

 It was one of the coolest moments ever to see her standing up yelling "100 dollars".

 I think Jack Jack will always remember that.

So, all in all, a very fun Friday night and Saturday morning.

Now, off to my cleaning projects..

Lori Ann

13.1

Today is a day that will live in infamy, people.

The day I walked 13.1 miles by choice.

Let me run you through all of this.

It's an emotional journey, so you may want to strap yourselves in.

(this is a long rambling post- be warned!)

Let's start with how I didn't even really want to get out of bed.

My bed is really insanely comfortable.

 It cost me 1600.

The most expensive thing I own.

 Well, besides two college degrees.

ANYWAY

So, I didn't want to get out of bed

I'm back in that phase of thinking of reasons to call out every morning.

But then remembering that I hate to be at home and spend all day thinking about my work and harassing my coworkers by text anyway.

So, my dad dropped me off at work about 6 hours early (Monday and Thursday are my 'late' days) and I started walking.

I knew I wanted to try for the 13.1. I packed two waters and my music and off I went.

I walked to the top of this ginormous hill (which was around mile 2.5) and ran into one of my coworkers, who cheered me on!

So, I was feeling pretty good at this point.

The little town I walk through is called Sellersville and it was founded in 1738.

 It has all of these old stone churches, which I love.

I saw this one around mile 4 or so.

Still feeling (mostly)ok.

By the time my phone died at mile 12.6 I was no longer ok.

And here is where the emotional journey part comes in.

 I am going to walk you through my mental state at each mile of the 13.1 journey.

 Think of it as a weird form of stream of conscientious poetry.

 Only much more painful.

Let's do this!

Mile 1- "Yay, one mile down! We can do this!"

(I'm singing along in my head to my music, feeling like an empowered feminist who can conquer the world)

Mile 2- "Ok, it seemed to take a while to get here, but that's two miles! We are on our way!"

 (I'm already imagining the emotional scene of completing 13.1 and what everyone will say to me)

Mile 3- "I feel kinda of overheated"

(This is where my mind really wanders. I mentally envision things like myself running for senate and what my campaign song would be. It's always a Salt and Peppa song)

Mile 4- "You know, 5 miles is a great accomplishment. Let's just do 5. Why do you set these crazy goals?"

(This is where I hit my first real mental wall and usually stop for water and whining)

Mile 5- "Is that a blister?I shouldn't keep walking on a blister!..oh..it's just a rock. But it COULD become a blister"

(This is what I call the bargaining mile- telling myself all the reasons why it's probably just better to stop now)

Mile 6- "Hummm"-

(I've zoned out again for this mile. Now I am saying overly loud "good mornings" to all the older men I pass on the trail and noting anything out of place in case there has been a murder and I have to tell police the details of what I noticed on the trail) 

Mile 7- "Half way!"

( I get a mild half way done buzz and start thinking of myself like some amazing woman. Like Eleanor Roosevelt or that girl who still surfs with only one arm)

Mile 8- "No. Just No."

(This mile usually finds me taking another water break and starting to feel angry. Mile 8 is ALWAYS my biggest mental wall. I do NOT want to keep going and 5 more miles sounds like FOREVER)

Miles 9-11 "I hate everything"

(These are the miles where I begin to hate everything. The trees, the other people on the trail, myself, whatever random treat I've been mentally bribing myself with "Why do I even eat skittles? They are horrible and I hate them!"- I recognize I am experiencing irrational hatred but can't stop myself from ranting. Mostly mentally. Occasionally verbally.)

Mile 12- "hey, little guy. What are you up to?"

(This is the mile where I start talking to the little woodland creatures I see. And my hands are kind of twirling around . I feel apathetic and mildly nauseated but like life is ok. It's ok if this walk never ends because whatever.)

Last mile- "Never again."

 (I chant these words to myself over and over and over and crown myself with official martyr status)

Laying on the floor in my office after I'm done.

 (after washing myself down in the bathroom, changing into work clothes, blow drying my hair, and eating a handful of skittles and drinking about a gallon of water)

"LIFE IS AMAZING! I am going to do that again tomorrow! Now let me go blog about this..."

Sorry for the long, rambling narrative.

 Telling myself I was going to blog about the experience was one of the mental tricks I used to keep myself going through all of the miles :)

13.1, baby!!!

Lori Ann

(two time half marathoner- only one official, of course)