Christmas is Here!

Top Left: my bread bowl- Center: driving through the snow with Dad- Top Right- Dinner at the Monroes
Middle left: My Christmas Gifts- Center: My Christmas El,f cleaning my car, Middle Right: Midnight Mass
Bottom Left: homemade tamales from my clients- Center: the elf at work again!- Bottom Right: it freaks my family out that I am baking:) 

Christmas, Oh Christmas.

It has been a strange and fabulous holiday. 

While you were all opening gifts with your family, sipping hot chocolate by the fire, and eating Grandmom's green bean casserole...

I was attending Midnight Mass, opening the most random assortment of gifts from my Irish twin, eating with other people's in-laws, getting hit on by drunken Mexican men riding their bikes through the snow, and cracking the whip on my personal Christmas Elf. 

The Christmas Elf being my dad.

 Who showed up by surprise.

 And has been cleaning my apartment, driving me all over the county, watching Twilight movies with me, and cooking me the best late night Christmas steak and potato dinner ever!

Merry Christmas to everyone!

I hope your day has been as festive as mine!

Lori Ann

Tidings of Comfort and Joy!

Happy Festivus, people!!

I called my sisters for the airing of grievances, wrapped foil around a paper towel roll for the aluminum pole, and put my laundry away for the feats of strength.

It was truly a festivus miracle!!

Anyway, I have finally figured out my

  Christmas menu

Here we go..

Beverage: Cranberry Ginger Ale on ice

Appetizer: Homemade spinach dip, in a homemade bread bowl

The bread bowl just  came out of the oven! Is it just me, or does this bread bowl look like a spaceship? Oh yeah..this is gonna be the BEST Christmas dinner ever!! 

Main Course: Steak, a Twice baked potato, and some fancy salad

Dessert: Trifle made with strawberry cake and strawberries.

The only thing on this list that I have made before are the twice baked potatoes, so it will be a celebration of experimental cooking!

 Wish me luck!

Lori Ann

Scones and Sisters

I rarely remember to count my blessings.

As my sisters always say, I like to be the martyr.

Today, I am thankful for two things.

One, for my sisters.

Erin

 for sending these:

yay for presents, it's nice to see something under my tree! Thank you for knowing what makes me happy, Eri!

And

Danielle

for making me laugh with a story that will go down in Hinsdale family folklore for years to come!!


Also, I am thankful for my new desire to bake.


Today I made scones.


Bread dough, rolled out after rising, cut into pieces and fried.

OH. MY. GOSH.


I ate ALL  of them with honey butter in about 2 minutes.

 Literally.


It's been a magical Christmas season and I couldn't ask for more!


Lori Ann

Merry Christmas, Darlings

It's never too late to feel brand new

Ok

I am going to get the jump on all of you with my

 NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS FOR 2011!!

Luckily I gave up heroin, stripping, and ice tea last year, so on to something new..

Resolution # 1 THE MONEY GOAL

NO DEBIT CARD.

Most of my money goes to pointless crap impulse purchases.

  I want to save money and pay off my evil evil student loans things, so I am getting rid of the card.

 I will keep the number for online payments, etc, but, for everything else, I will have to withdraw cash from the bank.

Resolution # 2 THE PERSONAL APPEARANCE GOAL

I hate my hair.

 Well, I don't HATE it, but all I do is wear it in a sloppy pony tail every single day.

This year my goal is to DO MY HAIR EVERY DAY.

Resolution # 3 THE I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT FOR YEARS GOAL

I have been wanting to write a book for years.

This year, it is going to happen.

 If I write a page a day, it should take me about a year.

Resolution # 4 THE LIFE AMBITION GOAL

As you may know, I have a book of Life Ambitions.

 Everything from sky diving to being in a flash mob to reading the 100 greatest books of all time.

 My goal for 2011 is to accomplish at least 12 of those goals- at the rate of 1 per month:)

Well, there a million other things that I would like to improve, do, etc. but these are the main resolutions for the year 2011.

Boo Yah!

Lori Ann

p.s.- Starting in 2011, my blog titles will switch from song lyrics to quotes from movies/tv:)So get excited for that!

Random Thoughts Thursday: The Snow Day Edition

Ok people!

Here are all the updates you've been clamoring for from the land of Lori

1. the management retreat: I am deeply saddened to report that it was less retreat, more extended management meeting.

 There were some funny team building games and a great lunch, but my dreams of high bonuses and company secrets were shattered. 

 

2. My holiday to-do List

I am making some progress!!

 This has been such a magical Christmas and I really think it is because I am not letting myself stress, but just doing the things I love and trying to find joy in everything.

and last, but not least...

3. Today, I learned how to make bread. 

Left: mixing ingredients and listening to Pandora, center: my favorite part, kneading the dough!, right: It turned out pretty good, I think I took it out about 5 minutes early, because the bottom was a little undercooked, but not bad for my VERY FIRST loaf ever! 

Lori Ann

I get by with a little help from my friends

So, I coordinated my first office party...a Christmas themed Potluck/Baby Shower. 

Here are the FIVE things you need to know about what went down at the 1st annual Monroeton Office Christmas Invitational Potluck and Baby Shower Event:

1. I made up an award for everyone.

 Everything from "best smelling office", to "most infectious laugh".

 My favorite one was to Fred, my 61 year old staff member.

We gave him "the hottest in the office" and I gave him a coupon for a night of hot tubbing with management

. Oh yeah.

2. We talked a lot of trash about other departments, and speculated on high level company relationships. 

3. There was some evidence shredding.

That's all I can say.

4. I finally got to tell the whole office the story about the former tenant (Scott, a non complaint diabetic alcoholic) dying in my apartment before I moved in.

 If I haven't told you that story, you are missing out. 

5. It was a magical Christmas feast the likes of which none of us may ever have again!
 (or just a tepid holiday gathering that gave us a chance to gossip and eat)

Now..on to the management retreat tomorrow.

 Oh man, I feel like Alice in Wonderland.

 What happens at these events?

 Will there be insider trading?

Can you inside trade in social work?

 How much of a bonus is going to come my way?

 what kind of company secrets will be shared?

Fear not, faithful readers.

 We will be taking this journey into the unknown together.

Expect a full report on my management retreat tomorrow! 

Lori Ann

Feliz Navidad!

Wrapping dollar store gifts for my Irish Twin

Admiring the white trash glow of my tree at night

And crossing "watch Love Actually" off of my Holiday to do list.

Pure. Christmas. Magic.

Lori Ann

p.s.- Recibi una invitaction a comer posole con mi gente Mexicano el dia antes de la Navidad! Que emocion! 

There's not a thing that I would change

No one knows me really. Except my sisters.

They are my teachers, my cheerer-uppers, my defenders, my examples, my make me laugh until I criers, my best friends.

Today is one of their birthdays. 

Happy Birthday, Eri. 

You are everything that I wish I could be. 

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double.  

Toni Morrison

Lor

Baby, it's cold outside

This is my second attempt at decorating my tree. Equally bizarre/trashy as the first time:)

I can't stop listening to and watching this!

I initiated an unauthorized Christmas themed potluck at work. 

It's going to be Monday morning at 11 am.

You are all invited!

Lori Ann

p.s.- Once again the South has had the last laugh.

 After an unseasonably hot and long summer, it is now unseasonably cold.

 Apparently there is no benefit to living here.

 You are going to be extra hot in the summer and extra cold in the winter. 

Well, there is the barbecue and hot accents...humm...maybe its worth it..

If only in my dreams

I think I may have just decorated the most bizarrely awful Christmas tree of all time. 

Too many lights on the bottom, not enough on top. 

Ornaments are strangely placed and the tinsel looks like a 3 year old was in charge. 

But, sitting here in my living room, with the lights off, listening to Oh Holy Night, that all fades away.

I feel almost at peace.

 I have fancy hot chocolate, homemade Christmas cookies, a strange little tree, and Matt Damon movies (my personal holiday tradition). 

There is just one thing missing. 

Well, four things really. 

Lori Ann

A Merry Christmas

You guys! 

Tonight was my office Christmas Party.

 It was hilarious and super fun.

 and INSANE.

# 1- I started and participated in a DANCE OFF!! 

(which was one of my life goals!)

Not me, but the starting team on the dance off!!

# 2- I was offered secret alcohol that was being passed around in green cups! 

# 3- I won the "Michelangelo Award" for the most creative person, for the 3rd year straight!

People were chanting my name!

 My company's Christmas party is the one time a year that I feel what its like to be popular.

 I don't know what it is,
 (maybe the alcohol they are drinking!)

but I genuinely feel like every one's favorite at this party.

 It's a nice feeling.

This party was the kick off to my holiday season, and it looks like it is going to be an amazing Christmas season!!

Lori Ann 

Random Thoughts

Ok, so...

1. I got myself one of several Christmas gifts I have planned for good ole' number 1 this year...

A SEWING MACHINE!

 I named her Hester and let me tell you..she is temperamental.

 She and I have been trying to make a table runner out of sparkly penguin fabric and she is not as enthused as I. 

2. I made my "holiday to do list" today.

 (that was probably an unnecessary use of quotations, but I can't stop, I am the same way with the semi colon. I never know when its needed and I feel a desire to throw it in everywhere)

 ANYWAY, on my list this year: see a choir concert, go to Midnight Mass, get a real tree, have a 'shopping and movie' day, have a baking day, volunteer on Christmas day, etc.

3. I never did review the Harry Potter movie.

 I know my readers are clamoring for my thoughts: I liked it.

 I have come to realize that I can never truly LOVE a Harry Potter movie because of all that they leave out.

 I think my heart will always be most broken by them leaving out SPEW.

 It's what inspired me to write my own manifesto!

 Anyway, I CANNOT wait for the last one.

 Battle of Hogwarts, the Prince's Tale, Kings Cross Station, Epilogue..its going to be amazing!

4. The company Christmas Party is tomorrow night.

 I am going with two agendas.

 1. Revenge. 

2. Win some awards, baby! 

Every year they distribute these random awards.

 I've won the Michelangelo creativity award 3 years running..I don't want my streak to be broken.

5. My James just turned 7.

 And let me tell you something..7 never looked so good. 

6. Happy Hanukkah to all of my Jewish peeps.

 You know who you are, gremlin!

 (Seriously though, I really find almost all Jewish people to be hot.) 

(I'm telling you all this because you are a NTK basis..a Need To Know basis..and you all needed to know)

(look for further personal revelations in the future)

7. My parents are back from Paris and London.

Apparently they had a great time. I am so happy for them.

Lori Ann 

I'm am slowly going crazy

Quotes from today:

"There have been so many broken promises today"- little Jack to his mom, after we didn't get to bake as planned

As Junior(Dave) and I leave the Deathly Hallows:

Dave: "so, who was that weird looking guy at the end, who took Dumbledore's wand?"

pause...

Me "that was Voldemort"

Dave: "Oh, he's still alive? I thought he was killed in the second movie"

pause....

Me: "Ummm...no, he's still alive"

Elly, flying her stuffed bat "Buddy" around the room:

"Aunt Lori, Buddy doesn't ever have to pee OR poop"

Me:  "and why is that Elly?"

Elly: "Because Heavenly Father made him that way"

(let me clarify that I did not inquire as to the elimination needs of Buddy the bat, but Elly likes to keep me informed about things of this nature. I cannot imagine why.)

"I see fear. This is to be expected".

(Danielle, when talking to Jack about her plans to cook everything for Thanksgiving dinner!)

Today was also a banner day for me in my Walmart shopping career.

 I was at Walmart at 8am, buying 5 umbrellas (on a clear and sunny day), 2 pez dispensers, coke, and a pregnancy test.

 With my nieces and nephews accompanying me.
 (You haven't truly lived until you've brought the 8 and under set through the prophylactic aisle!) 

I left my usb cord at home, so you'll all have to wait for pictures.

Try not to let the disappointment ruin your holiday!

Lori Ann

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream

Today is the day.

The greatest book ever written comes to film.

T-minus 1 hour and 11 minutes until I am watching the Deathly Hallows.

I am SO tired though and I have SO much to do tomorrow. 

Why do I keep thinking that I am 19 and can still go to midnight premieres?

On a side note, I heard from my parents.

 It sounds like they are having the time of their life in Paris.

 It's so surreal to think that they are really there. 

1 hour and 7 minutes.

I better get to the theater before all the good seats are gone!

Lori Ann

Random thought: the Tuesday Evening Edition!

Me, at the top of the Eiffel Tower, circa 2007

Ok,

Here are my random thoughts..two days early!!

1. My parents leave for Paris tomorrow!

 Remember a few months ago, when I wrote about getting them a trip to London and Paris for their anniversary?
(35 years as of December 27th).

Well, after months of paying, the trip is finally here!!

 Good luck and have fun, mom and dad!!
(and remember..what happens in Europe, stays in Europe!)

2. Sunday was National Diabetes Day.

 I was going to blog about it, but I talked myself out of it.

 I just decided to celebrate instead.

 A shout out to my fellow diabetics! 

3. Tonight was our "client appreciation dinner".

It was INSANELY awesome.

 Some of our families came and we talked about ways to get rich.

 One of my clients stated that we should "build ourselves a mansion and make everyone live in a trailer park and give them a bike".

 I can't help but support dreams of world domination!

4. Less than one week until I get to see my muffin babies.

 I can hardly wait. 

5. I am most excited for getting new pajamas with Danielle and staying up late, watching movies and psycho analyzing the details of our childhood!

6. I am super excited to bake with the kids, Christmas shop, and be caught up in the holiday magic.

The only missing thing will be Erin.

 She is spending a fabulous Thanksgiving with her associates, Pumpkin and Buster. 

Well, I think that's it. 

Au revoir!

Lori Ann

Remember this Moment

I graduated high school some mid June day, in 1998.

Now, some mid November day, 12 years later, I have achieved my highest educational aspirations.

Today, I received my Clinical Social Work License.

It took me four years of undergrad, two years of grad school, two years of internship, and two years of clinical practice and supervision.

 Plus one killer state exam.

But, I am here, at last.

I am now making 5,000 dollars more per year than the highest I ever aspired to make. 

I am the only bi-lingual therapist in at least three counties.

I am now technically part of management. 

For the longest time, I feel like I have been trudging forward, with my head down, just trying to reach some distant goal.

For the first time in over a decade I feel like the future is a blank page.

Wish me luck. 

Lori Ann, LCSW 

Just Dance

Ok,

So, I was preparing footage of my expedition to the haunted shed, when I came across THIS.

Ten times better than my footage of the completely UNHAUNTED shed!

 (Although, the basement of my office has a boarded up fireplace and little kid school chairs..my next investigation will be there!)

I love my Jamesaroni!!

Love Always

Aunt Lori

It's too late to apologize

"For (the overly apologetic), they desire peace at any price.

They would rather admit wrong if the arguments and conflicts will cease.

 Emotional calmness is more important than being right.

While this may appear to be an admirable trait, it often simmers as inner resentment.

Such internalized resentment often creates emotional distance between two individuals.

On the surface things seem to be relatively calm, but underneath and emotional explosion is in the making.

Failure to process the resentment can lead to the destruction of a relationship."

Peace at any price is not the road to authentic relationships.

It might be the road to survival.

 It might be the road to "get through the day."

It might be the only thing I could think of in the past, but I want something different now.

I am capable of something different now.

I totally stole this from someone else's blog, but I feel like it was written for me.

My goal for 2011 is to be the confident and unafraid of conflict Lori!!

Lori Ann

No regrets, Just love

Today has been extremely unproductive.

It's one of the perks of spinsterhood.

No cute Halloween pictures to put up on my facebook, but I can sleep until noon on Saturday!

Anyway, I know the topic of music comes up alot on this blog.
Wait..does it?

I don't know.

I am just thinking of music today because I 've been watching these videos:

***PLEASE WATCH AT LEAST A LITTLE OF EACH ONE..THEY ARE AWESOME!***

I watched this one because I am obsessed with Glee.

It reminded me of this all male acapella group I loved from a show called "The Sing Off" last year, so I started watching this video:

I love this particular medley, because the first song "Behind blue eyes" reminds me of my dad, so I watched this video:

Just hearing this song takes me back to my childhood.

 The beginning of it fills me with a weird sense of peace.

Anyway, I have got to be going.

 It's Harry Potter night.

It's ok to be jealous.

 Yes, my life is THAT glamorous

Lori Ann

p.s. Tomorrow, join me in my quest to figure out if the shed behind my office is haunted! Investigative Journalism at its best!

The best part of me was always you

I talked to the muffin babies yesterday.

Jack-Jack said:  "I really, really do love you, Aunt Lori"

James yelled: "When are you going to bring the Wii to our house??"

and the Elly Belly said what she always says:"You better check yourself, before you wreck yourself"

Katy was unavailable for comment, as she was busy running around wearing only a Pacman costume.

It's so hard for me to talk to them.

It's easier for me to pretend that I don't have nieces and nephews.

Because I miss them so much sometimes I can hardly breathe.

Lori Ann

Counting 1 2 3

Ok,

There are 3 things that are very important for me to share with all of you

. Here they are, in no particular order...

1. Yesterday, one of my clients told me that his foster father had cooked him

 "the Jesus of all pork chops".

 Most creative and disturbing blasphemy I've ever heard.
(Not that I support it, but my initial reaction was laughter!)

2. I have been invited to the MANAGEMENT RETREAT!

 You know what this means, people.

 I am now "The man".

 And, on a side note, yeah..I'm going need those TPS reports ASAP.

and lastly.

3. My father called me at 7 am to "get out the vote" or "rock the vote" or something.

 I guess reminding me to vote.

And vote I did, suckers!

Happy Election Day!!

Lori Ann
***oh man, I love election night coverage! One commentator was talking about how remaining democratic senators are looking at the fate of those democrats who "walked the plank" and voted for health care reform. How can I make the phrase "walk the plank" more a part of my every day conversations??***

Just wait and see..aka I'm sorry for not getting it, North Carolina aka the triumph of Fear

Well,

Chalk up another victory for FEAR.

Fear and I have a never ending battles -which fear usually wins!  

I was ALL set to go and sleep out in the field behind my office, when I decided to watch what AOL termed

  "the 20 scariest movie scenes of all time"

Big mistake. 

Looks like this goal will have to go back on the shelf for another year.

 Dang it. 

However, as a small consolation prize, I have promised myself that I will be 

CONQUERING MY FEAR OF THE BASEMENT

when I go home for Thanksgiving!

Lori Ann

p.s. On a side note, I have been lamenting being trapped in North Carolina for another fall.

I have been dreaming of the crisp, chilly, and stunningly beautiful fall days of Pennsylvania.

I asked God to help me not hate where I live, and He opened my eyes to see that I was

surrounded by beauty. 

p.p.s. Happy Halloween, pork chops!

And just forget the world

People!

I am going wireless this weekend! (as in, no computer)

You may be sitting in front of your computer, tears running down your face, screaming "WHY??"

It's Halloween weekend people. And this year I will NOT fail to meet my goal of

SLEEPING UNDER THE STARS ON HALLOWEEN!

Nothing will stop me! (well, rain, threat of rain, fog, being uncomfortable, getting bored, and my fear of the dark could likely stop me)

Anyway, I am going to be running around all weekend, getting stuff done, so I can focus on spending Halloween Night

Looking up into the heavens

Dreaming of moving home

So that I can be

Spending Halloween Night next year

Under the stars with my little muffin babies.

Before they go and grow up on me!

Lolee

(but this weekend you can call me "dare devil"..or "devil dog"..or "the cats pajamas")

31 is still growing up now..

Ok, the public has been clamoring for more office pictures.

 Never let it be said that I didn't care about the little people!

This one is just for Eri!

 Thanks for the cute note thing!

Next we have my desk, with my infamous cranberry and ginger ale mix next to my difficult work laptop!

My bookshelf/Europe corner.

Last, the overall picture.

 Pretty glamorous, eth?

Now..on to the craziest mission story EVER told...

So, Laura (my former intern) and her companion get a call from a woman they had been teaching.

 I think she was committed for baptism.

 She stated that she urgently needed to talk to them. 

They got it approved by their zone leaders as it was after 9:30 pm.

 Then, they ran across the street to where this lady lived.
(Right across from them)

So, the scene is set.

It's a dark and hopefully stormy night when they arrive at their investigators house..

So, the woman invited them down the hall to her kitchen?

 Living room.?

Somewhere with a table. 

Spread across this table was every piece of church literature they had ever given her.

 And on top of that literature were her pills. 

That's right, her pills. 

Laura said that they were laid out in an organized fashion.

 Like: Joseph Smith pamphlet and xanax,

 proclamation to the family and ativan.

Anyway, at this point the woman began to speak to them about something.

 I think she was calling them out and talking about the devil.

 There may or may not have been some kind of exorcism that occurred.
  (I am such a great listener).

 Anyway, whatever was said, they took the whole pill/religious documents as their cue to leave.

 But before they could leave..

This woman stood up and began speaking some language.
(Laura says it was NOT gibberish).

They were edging toward the door and asking her what she was saying, when she announced "I was speaking Aramaic, because I am Jesus Christ"

Did it end there, dear readers?

 Of course not.

Laura and her comp tried to get out, but the woman blocked them in to her narrow hallway. 

You heard it right... Laura and her comp faced down a female Jesus in the narrow hallway of her one bedroom apartment surrounded by all of her pills.

Apparently, at this point, Laura's comp yelled "What's that over there?"

When the woman turned, they pushed past her and got out of the apartment.

As they ran to their apartment, she continued to shout threats and taunts at them.

 I think it was like "I'm watching you", "You're Satan's puppets", stuff like that etc. 

I doubt anyone could top that, but I challenge all you RM's out there to try!

Thanks for letting me tell your story, Laura.

 You are the best.

 In exchange I bequeath you my black office chair!

Lori Ann

What a way to make a living aka the Pork Chop Saga!

It has happened.

I transferred departments and am now in my 9th office since starting to work for this company 2 1/2 years ago.

This one is, by far, my favorite.

**wellll....I loved my office that was literally in a hallway. It allowed me to eavesdrop alot. But this one has natural light, so it wins!**

This is my quote wall.

 I've surrounded it with blue lights.

 Really kinda classy, right?

Ahh!!

 My work computer won't let me upload any more pictures right now.

 Devil computer.

Suffice it to say, it's pretty much a corner office with floor to ceiling windows and an amazing view of the NYC  Reidsville skyline...

On a completely unrelated side note, I have become obsessed with the idea of naming something "pork chop".

 We had a team building activity last week and my clinical supervisor asked us to come up with a name for ourselves and I shouted out "The Pork chops!".. we ended up "the dream team"..lame, right?

Genius is never recognized in its day, my little pork chops!

Lori Ann

p.s.- Mission story to commence manana!

New York, New York

I don't tell a lot of mission stories on this blog.

Mainly because, if I started, I wouldn't stop until I had told EVERY story..and I've got about 3000.

***also, I've got former comps that read this blog and I won't be able to embellish my stories with them reading! They know the sorry truth!***

 I served in the Illinois, Chicago Mission (Spanish speaking).

BEST MISSION EVER!

Anyway, to the point...I thought I had some kick-a mission stories.

But nothing...NOTHING..compares with the story my intern Laura told me. 

Laura
(the only Mormon intern in north Carolina)

 got matched up with me
 (the only Mormon task supervisor in North Carolina).

 Now I am transferring and leaving her in the clutches of another supervisor...ha ha ha
 (evil cackling)

..sorry, Laura! 

Laura served in the New York, Utica Mission... a few days after she started at the internship, she told me a mission story the likes of which I have never heard before..

Stay tuned, faithful readers. 

Lori Ann

p.s.- Laura..the battle of the chairs begins NOW!